Author's note: Wow! Reviews! I actually have a decent amount to give some feedback:
Sunrise over the Tango Factory: Thanks, Bex, for the very informative review…as always. Keep it up, huni!
boogle: Glad you like this fic. It's proving more popular than I had imagined…
The Weaving Wheel: If you check, you'll see I took your advice and tried a first-person fic (of Mike, obviously)! And your Draco Malfoy comment was in NO WAY insulting! I love him almost as much as I love Mike!
Necromancer and Sorcerer: Thank you! I am so so so so SO pleased that people are liking this fic! You have no idea how pleased! Anyway, this fic WILL end up MikexClaire (all Mary-Sue haters, look away now!) but it'll go through MikexViolet and MikexVeruca first. So it'll satisfy your needs, lol!
Zombie Kitty: Thanks for review…didn't help me at all…in fact, have you actually SEEN catcf yet? If you haven't, then you'd better! And then you can see just how cute Mike is!
soccerstar8281: YAY! Someone loves chapter 8! I'm so happy! And also, THANK YOU for liking the name Possessed Jr.! I love it too. And Fraily McFrailson. Two of my greatest inventions, heh.
Leigh the Wonderlord: I know how you feel. I am very oppositional too, which makes it so easy for me to write this from Mike's point of view! #waves flags also# Spoiled oppositional brats rule!
9
Mike took one look at the Inventing Room and felt right at home; loud noises, shiny metallic cylinders, steam ascending from nowhere, millions of knobs and levers that were just asking to be fiddled about with. He gazed around, genuinely in awe.
"This is the most important room in the entire factory," Wonka informed them, "Now, everyone enjoy yourselves, but just don't…touch anything."
Immediately, Possessed Jr. broke off from the rest of the group, ran to a big basin thing and peered inside. Mike wasted no time in dashing after her. He noticed hid dad was chasing after him, no doubt to stop him trying to smash anything else up, but Mike just ran faster to shake him off. He reached Possessed Jr. and started looking around the basin thing, searching for something to say, though it seemed his vocal chords had decided to freeze up. He pretended to be interested in the Oompa-Loompas swimming around retrieving balls, whilst he fought with himself to not refer to her as 'Possessed Jr.'.
Violet! He screamed at himself, her name is Violet! Say something you lunatic! He opened his mouth to speak…
"Hey, Mr. Wonka, what's this?" Violet asked, pointing at the basin thing.
Dammit, you blew it, one voice in Mike's head said, whilst another said, oh well. You're next two words were going to be 'gum chewer' anyway…
"Oh, lemme show you," Wonka replied. Mike stepped back and allowed Wonka to take one of the brightly-coloured balls from an Oompa-Loompa.
"Thank you!" he turned back to face the group, "There are Everlasting Gobstoppers. They're for children who get very little allowance money. You can suck on them all year, and they won't get any smaller."
Neat idea, Mike admitted to himself, Pity he had to apply it to candy. For a split-second, he considered designing a video game that didn't have a top level; you could just keep playing and playing it forever…
"It's like gum," Possessed Jr. said.
"No," Wonka stated, "Gum is for chewing. You try chewing one of these Gobstoppers, you'd break all your little teeth off."
Mike suddenly had the strongest urge to force-feed one of the Gobstoppers to the crazed chocolatier; maybe if he had no teeth he'd shut the hell up.
"They sure do taste terrific," Wonka gazed at the sweet lovingly, snapping out of it only to go fetch yet another one, "And these are Hair Toffees!"
Mike noticed some of the Oompa-Loompas nervously backing away, and made a mental note never to eat a Hair Toffee, even if he felt the inclination.
"You suck down one of these little boogers, and a brand new crop of hair will start growing out of the top of your little noggin! And a moustache. And a beard!"
"Who wants a beard?" Mike said as more of a statement than a question.
"A-well…beatniks for one. Folk singers and motorbike riders-" Mike cringed, "-gets you in the fridge, daddy-o! Are you hip to the jive? Can you dig what I'm laying down?" Mike didn't know whether or not this was supposed to be impressing him, or scaring him, "I knew that you could, slide me some skin, soul brother!"
Wonka extended a hand towards Mike, who mustered all the sarcasm he could and directed it at Wonka in one facial expression. Wonka's hand drew back with another horrible squeak.
"Uh, unfortunately the mixture isn't quite right," Wonka said hesitantly, "'cos an Oompa-Loompa tried some, and …well…he…"
An Oompa-Loompa (at least, Mike guessed it was an Oompa-Loompa) strode up to them covered from head to toe in hair. Mike looked down on the little man in shock.
Don't eat Hair Toffees, either…
"How are you today?" Wonka asked, leaning in and speaking slowly, like he was talking to a six-year-old. The Oompa-Loompa raised both his thumbs.
"You look…great!" Wonka reassured him, and he dropped his arms back to his side. Mike slightly hoped that the Oompa-Loompa was giving Wonka the finger under all that hair.
They walked over to a huge machine and Wonka pulled a lever, "Watch this…"
More steam and loud noises erupted around the group.
Finally! Mike thought, Something I could be interested in!
A silver arm protruded in front of him, and he watched in growing excitement as it developed further, unfolding extra sections, twisting and turning.
Ding!
Possessed Jr. reached out and ripped off the tiny strip of candy that was produced from it. Mike was immensely disappointed, "You mean that's it?"
"Do you even know what 'it' is?" Wonka said, imitating Mike's voice pattern. Mike scowled and decided not to say anything else to Wonka. Ever.
"It's gum," Possessed Jr. supplied.
"Yeah! It's a stick of the most amazing and sensational gum in the whole universe. Know why? KNOW WHY?" Wonka seemed rather excited…possibly a little too excited, "'Cos this gum happens to be a full three-course dinner all by itself!"
Since he was blocking Wonka, Mike waited for someone else to ask…
"Why would anyone want that?"
Wonka turned to Mr. Salt and hesitated before pulling out his cue cards again, "It will be the end of all kitchens and cooking. Just a little strip of Wonka's magic chewing gum and that is all you will…" he flipped through the cards, "…ever need at breakfast, lunch and dinner! This piece happens to be tomato soup, roast beef and blueberry pie."
Mike wondered why this information was already on the card. Unless he'd known that that was the gum that was going to be made. He looked over at Possessed Jr. who had a determined, almost maniacal, glint in her eye. Immediately, Mike knew what was going to happen. He shook his head desperately at her when she caught his eye, but she just smiled back.
"It sounds great!" Fraily McFrailson said, but Mike barely registered his words. He was debating whether to go over to Violet and slap the gum out of her hand or not. There were four clear paths that Mike faced: one was that there was nothing wrong with the gum, and he didn't do anything; the second was that there was nothing wrong with the gum, and he ended up looking like a retard by telling her to stop; the third was that there was something wrong with the gum, and he saved her by telling her to stop; and the fourth – and most hideous – was that there was something wrong with the gum, and he did nothing…
"It sounds weird," Satanic Kid said scathingly. Wonka just gave her a look. Mike wanted to scream, It DOES! It DOES sound weird! It sounds TOO weird!
"It sounds like my kinda gum," Possessed Jr. said firmly. Mike fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, realising he'd been doing that a lot on the tour.
"Ah, I'd rather you didn't," Wonka warned, to Mike's great relief, "There's still one or two…"
"I'm the world-record holder in chewing gum," Possessed Jr. said even more firmly, "I'm not afraid of anything."
Mike sighed resignedly as she popped her record gum behind her ear, and crammed Wonka's gum into her mouth.
She started chewing.
"How is it, honey?" Mrs. Possessed said, her face the perfect vision of pride.
"It's amazing!" her daughter said excitedly, but muffled by all the chewing, "Tomato soup! I can feel it running down my throat!"
"Yeah!" Wonka said, panicking a little, "Spit it out!"
"Young lady," said Fraily McFrailson slowly, "I think you'd better-"
For God's sake, listen to them! Mike nearly ripped the hem of his shirt clean off.
"Roast beef!" Violet exclaimed, "With roast potato, crispy skin and butter!"
"Keep chewin', kiddo," Mrs. Possessed said, "My little girl's gonna be the first person in the world to have a chewing gum meal!"
Yeah, and probably the last after the lawyers get to Wonka! Mike thought. Or rather, hoped.
"Yeah," Wonka said anxiously, "I'm just a little concerned about the-"
"Blueberry pie and ice cream!" Violet cried.
"…that part."
Omigod, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out…
But she didn't. Even when…
"What's happening to her nose?"
"It's turning blue."
Mike didn't try to shake his dad off when he put a protective hand on his shoulder; in fact, he was quite grateful of it.
"You're whole nose has gone purple!" Mrs. Possessed informed her daughter with more than a hint of worry.
"What do you mean?" Possessed Jr. asked nervously, feeling her nose for any signs of abnormality.
"Violet, you're turning violet!" her mother said with disgust.
It was here Mike knew that this was more than a coincidence. This whole tour was turning out to be very dodgy.
"What's happening?" Mrs. Possessed asked, growing more and more concerned by the second.
"Well, I told you I hadn't quite gotten it right," Wonka explained "'cos it goes a little funny when it gets to the dessert. It's the blueberry pie that does it…I'm terribly sorry."
Mike turned in time to see Wonka's hat disappear behind the machine. He looked around frantically for somewhere he could hide, but saw a few Oompa-Loompas talking amongst themselves instead. His eyes followed them curiously as they dashed off and gathered up lots more of their kind, appearing to plot and plan something. And Mike could guess what.
He glanced at his dad who was staring up, looking totally terrified. Mike followed his stare to see Possessed Jr. swelling up like a…like a…a blueberry…
Blueberry pie…
Way more than a coincidence…
Mike, along with the others, backed away slowly as she swelled beyond what he thought was humanly possible; surely no one had enough skin!
"I've tried it on, like, twenty Oompa-Loompas, and each one ended up as a blueberry," Wonka said, creeping up behind Mrs. Possessed and making the group jump, "It's just weird!"
You mean YOU'RE weird!
"But I can't have a blueberry as a daughter!" Mrs Possessed said firmly, "How is she supposed to compete?"
"You could put her in a county fair!" Satanic Kid said, smiling sweetly. It took all Mike's self-control not to laugh out loud; if he hadn't been so incredibly shocked by this whole factory, and hadn't been quite fond of Violet, then that was something he would have said.
Listen close, listen hard,
The tale of Violet Beauregarde,
This little girl she sees no wrong,
Chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing, all day long,
Chewing, chewing, all day long,
Chewing, chewing, all day long,
Chewing, chewing, all day long
Mike looked around – Oompa Loompas were everywhere! Scattered around the floor, dancing precariously on suspended metal beams, even bouncing up and down on Possessed Jr.! Clamping a hand to his mouth, Mike watched the little people in awe as they struck various poses.
She goes on chewing 'til the last,
Her chewing muscles grow so fast,
From her face a giant chin,
Sticks out just like a violin,
Chewing chewing all day long,
Chewing chewing all day long,
Chewing chewing all day long
Again, Mike looked around for the instruments whose sounds were echoing around the vast room, but it was clouded with fog that it was impossible to see more than a few feet.
For years and years she chews away,
Her jaws get stronger every day,
And with one great tremendous chew,
They bite the poor girl's tongue in two,
And that is why we try so hard,
To save Miss Violet Beauregarde,
Chewing chewing all day long,
Chewing chewing all day long,
Chewing chewing chewing chewing chewing chewing all day long
The last few lines resounded for a bit as Possessed Jr. was rolled in front of the ever decreasing group and into a big, metal tunnel…that was just the right size for her…
Mike's anger surged and he found himself wanting to cry. He looked up at Violet and knew it was impossible for her to see him from the angle she was at…but he gave a small wave to her anyway.
He watched sadly as Mrs. Possessed ran over to her daughter under instructions from Wonka and started to push her through the tunnel.
If there hadn't been so many people around, Mike would have blown a kiss to Violet.
What are you thinking, you weirdo? Mike Teavee is not like that. He is not soppy. He is not sentimental. And he CERTAINLY doesn't develop those sort of feelings for others. Mike Teavee looks out for Mike Teavee.
He scolded himself and looked at Wonka, expecting some kind of explanation for the horrific scene he had witnessed.
"Let's boogie!"