I started liking girls from a young age, along with Sam. We used to throw change on the ground and pick them up while looking up an unsuspecting female's skirt or dress. That was when we were about eight and when my father caught us, he was so angry and shocked at how fast we were growing in immaturity and adolescence.
I got my first kiss from Lilly in the first grade, just before snack break. I had asked, and she complied. We "went out" for about two weeks and than discovered cooties. She's now actually one of Sam's three girlfriends and a very good friend of mine.
As for men, that happened about two weeks ago. I know for sure, that I'm not gay, or what some people call a sex addict. I don't want a boyfriend or a girlfriend at the same time, but they both have their pros and cons. As for the recent interest in batting for both sides?
It started when Sam brought home an openly gay friend, Shooter. Shooter had these blond highlights and an almost too tight green shirt. He took one glance at me, grinned and said,
"Sam, any chance your brother's gay and single?"
Sam answer?
"I don't know. David doesn't really date dudes, but if he liked guys, they would have to have red hair. He likes red heads."
That's not actually true. Just all the girls I've asked out had red hair, Brittany, Ashley, Lilly (Her hair is now a shocking electric blue, and don't get me started on her piercings), Meg, and Corrine. Anyway, moving along. Shooter laughed and said,
"David, huh? I'm Shooter Gunn," He held out his hand and I took it, surprised at its softness. I was even more shocked when Shooter pulls me in and kisses me fairly quickly. Worse, I enjoyed it. It was pretty fast, because Sam threw him off of me, saying,
"Sorry Davie, Shoot's had a little too much coffee. Won't happen again," Sam gave an uneasy laugh and I sort of wobbled back upstairs. I know I like men, but I don't like Shooter. He's a bit too...cowboyish for me. I guess what Sam stated is true. I really do prefer redheads. And George Clooney. That man is just so...perfect.
I think Sam knows. I sort of confessed it to him and he just laughed,
"I know, Davie. You've been checking everyone out since we were ten. I always thought it was because of that movie we watched behind Mom and Dad's back. What was it again?" He furrowed his eyebrows
"Brokeback Mountain?" I asked, remembering that movie vaguely, one part in particular and those of you familiar with that scene will know which one it is. Ah, the wonders of Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal.
"Oh yeah," Sam laughed and checked his watch, "Shoot I'm late. I'm going to the movies with Mandy and Lilly. Cherie would be coming too, but she has to baby sit Jacques and Henri," He sighed, "I was looking forward to hanging out with all of them for a night,"
"Except Little Miss Newbie who has no idea of your current relationship with these three girls, nor that your parents think that they are just little friends,"
"Hey, I like Keegan, but she's different. I feel something-" Sam frowned, "Something different with her, but I like that feeling I have with the other girls too. Plus Keegan's totally against polygamy. She said that her grandfather practiced it and her father ran away to Ohio. They just moved here-a family of three,"
I sighed. Keegan Charlottes, I had seen at school. She was usually sitting at a table reading a book, like Catch-22 or A Catcher in the Rye. No way was she Sam's type. Probably the feeling was just Sam's brain hurting from all the smart radiating from Keegan. We shared a class together, and she had a loudmouth quality to her, always eager to answer a question, but in the hallways, she was unapproachable. What had attracted my 'playa' twin to her, I have no idea.
She had red hair. Usually it was up in some sort of knot and her hair clips were very cute, especially the glittery butterfly ones she likes to wear whenever we have a mock debate day. Perhaps the hair accessories she wears attracted Sam to her.
Oh good. Just add that to my problems. I'm in love with men and my brother's prospective fourth girlfriend, who thinks I'm an ass for some reason. Apparently, it all began when Keegan and her parents came to our church service on Sunday. It had been a really hot day of summer and sweat was plastered all over my face, my hair wet purely from perspiration.
Mom had made me and Sam stand by Dad and help move people along. I had apparently 'manhandled' her with my 'sticky ape fingers' and my 'B.O wasn't all that great'. She did look cute in that white dress, the sweat causing-STOP IT! Stop thinking about it, David!
"Uncle David?" That was Bryan, Matt's youngest. I yelled that he could come in and saw that Nicky was with him.
"What's up, little men?" I asked, grinning, standing up a little straighter from my bed which I've been telling you this tale.
"Daddy and Mommy dropped me and Annabel off. Benji and Brandon are doing football," Bryan explained, and I thought that his hair, which he wanted to the shoulders, like Matt's, was getting worse, because his was just too curly. Sort of like Ruthie's when she was five. Nicky had a more appropriate haircut, cut military style. His father was some admiral in Annapolis or something, but his mom had full custody of him.
"What's up?" I asked, "Want some Oreos and milk?" I opened the little refrigerator that Sam and I saved up for and bought when we figured out secrets didn't make us sick. I knew Sam used it on Ruthie and the 'big kids' but I preferred naive little kids who withheld nothing for an Oreo, like Dad. Speaking of Dad, he still hasn't gotten around to tell Mom that his ring's a fake. We were seven when we discovered that secret. At least, I don't think he's told Mom.
Nicky hopped up on my bed, and Bryan followed, seeing it was okay to get crumbs on the sheets. He's been hard up for Oreos since Sarah wiped their entire house clean of anything not resembling a carrot. He, Benji, Brandon, and Matt have been eating double helpings of Mom's dessert whenever Sarah or Annabel aren't there. Mom's starting to think that Sarah is scared about Annabel gaining weight, because of a mishap when Annie gave her namesake some some popcorn, sweetened with caramel. Sarah practically dived for the kernel headed toward her daughter's unsuspecting mouth. Annabel still doesn't want anyone to know about her diabetes, and her parents are deciding to wait until after Andrew's problem is resolved.
All of a sudden, Annabel came in, looking for Bryan, I assume. Her brother quickly hid his Oreo, looking ashamed, and Nicky followed suit, along with me. I smiled and held out my hands,
"If it isn't my favorite bell!" I joked, "Give Uncle David a hug," She laughed and hugged me,
"Want some milk? And sugarless cookies?" I asked, pulling out the sugarfree ones I bought two days ago, "Bry and Nicks were just about to have some as well,"
Annabel looked at me, surprised, "Did Bryan tell you?"
"Tell me what?" I asked, "Here, have a cookie and some milk. It won't kill you, like these fattening Oreos. I've been meaning to lay off the sugar," I patted my stomach and she laughed.
I love it when Annabel laughs. Her eyes crinkle up and her cheeks flush a rosy pink, not to mention her button nose. The other Camden girls do have that same laugh, but a different sort of sound to it. Annabel's is by far, the sweetest, with a sound like a tinkling of a bell. Sarah says thats why they named her Annabel Ruthie instead of Annie-Beth Ruthie like they had originally planned. Her Annabel had made that sound when Sarah was holding her.
"Promise you won't tell?" She asked, taking a cookie from me
I smiled, "Cross my heart, kiddo. Now, who wants to hear the story about Simon's slow car chase?" I didn't remember it too well, but Ruthie told it so many times to them, and it had become one of their favorites, when Simon was not in attendance. He didn't understand that these kids thought he was cool for being in a car chase, regardless of the circumstances.
Cecilia liked the story too, along with Little Forrest Gump. I knew Andrew often requested that one, along with the story about Happy's arrival into the family at bedtime. Simon really did love his son, though, and had always wanted more, but Cecilia was afraid that the next one would have spina bifida as well. Just because three people in our family had it, doesn't mean it was Simon's fault. The disease has yet to be determined as hereditary anyway.
Cecilia however, did want a little girl. From the gist of it, she got Paolo to have an affair with her at his place for about five months before getting pregnant. Than she quickly slept with Simon to make him less suspicious. Cecilia had never counted on Paolo finding out from Simon's mother, when she was in labor and coming straight to the hospital, yelling at her.
Simon had been holding a girl they were planning on naming Ruth Annie Camden. Finding out that he was not the rightful father, Simon told Cecilia to name her Isabella Margot, like she wanted and left-with Andrew. Mom just said "I told you so," to Dad and they both started fretting over Andrew.
Cecilia did change the little baby's name, but to Simone Ruth-last name yet to be determined. From what I hear, she's a happy healthy little girl. The little girl Cecilia had always wanted-with Simon.
"Where's everyone?" Nicky asked, biting into another Oreo. He hadn't liked Annabel's cookies. Bryan didn't seem to like them much either, but was eating them for his big sister's sake.
"Grandpa's at the hospital visiting sick patients. Grandma is with Ruthie, Lucy, and her kids at some church thing. Simon's at work. Sam is out with his friends at the movies and I'm guessing I'm babysitting?" I asked
They smiled, and the doorbell rang. I frowned, I knew where everyone was. And no one rang the bell anyway.
It was Keegan. She laughed, noticing that Nicky was behind my back, Bryan was clinging on my leg and Annabel was looking at her from my side.
"I like your hair," Annabel said, in her brash tone. That voice-er quality was a constant pain for her teachers, but her parents felt it was good to let her be outspoken and ignored the hand raising policy.
"Oh!" Keegan touched her hair self consciously, and laughed, "Thank you," Her hair did look pretty, left down and cascading like a waterfall. The sun hitting her red hair just right made her into something of a goddess.
"Looking for Sam?" I asked, pulling Bryan out of the way, "He's not here,"
Keegan sighed, "No actually. I was looking for someone else," She looked at me smiling sadly, "Can we talk?"
"I have to watch the monkeys and Annabel," I explain and noticing the look of slight distress on her face, I sighed and told Annabel to watch the boys while I talked to Keegan in the kitchen.
"I can't guarantee you privacy," I warned her, "But these kids only tell me all the things they overhear, so don't worry,"
Keegan sighed, "Is Sam a-" She glanced at the hallway and mouthed 'pimp?'.
I think I looked at her for a few seconds in shock, wondering how on earth she figured it out. Most of the stuff about Sam dating are just rumors. None of his girlfriends have ever told anyone outside their little circle they're dating him. I'm just waiting for one of the girls to pull a John Tucker Must Die on him.
She blushed, "Idiotic, right? I figured you'd know, because you're his twin,"
"He is!" I blurted out and groaned, taking a seat at the counter, next to Keegan. Other kids had asked me, but I'd always laugh them off. It was harder to give Keegan a lie, even by omission, "Sam's at the movies with two of his friends," I kept my wording safe too, darting my eyes at the hallway. I could hear Annabel, "How'd you figure it out?"
"I saw him at the movies, holding hands with one girl the other on his lap. It may have been dark, but I know his voice." Keegan explained, "Kinda sealed the deal when one girl traded spots with the lap girl, and did things not allowed on a PG movie like the one I was watching. Bambi will never be the same." Keegan laughed weakly, "Came here as soon as I could to confirm,"
"I'm sorry," I said, patting her on the back, "Sam doesn't deserve you, let alone more of you,"
"You know these girls?" She asked, looking at me. I laughed
"Odd history. Lilly, the uh second lap girl, I'm sure, was the first girl I've kissed. She's a bit wild. Mandy I met when I was fourteen, during a game of Seven Minutes In Heaven. She was the first girl that I got to second base with in the closet," I laughed, "Cherie, his latest, was the first girl I Frenched, like about a year ago,"
"So, these girls all dumped you for Sam?" Keegan asked, "I don't see why. You're clearly smarter than him, not to mention how cute you look when your hair's curly," Keegan blushed at that and looked down.
I laughed, and it came out strangled, because my throat was so dry. She looked at me in alarm and I turned a deep cherry red. Attractive, I'm sure.
"You know, uh," I looked at her, "I think-I think uh-"
"Yes?" Keegan came closer, holding my hands, smiling
I wanted so badly to tell her how I felt about her, but stupid Sam with that stupid thing about a different feeling! What if Sam was Keegan's soul mate, like Dad is Mom's and vice versa? I'm screwing up a chance for my brother to date someone that could actually be good for him.
He's been caught (by me) drinking beer, smoking both cigarettes and pot, going a little too far with one of his girlfriends, and I'm almost positive I caught him buying heroin from someone off the street. I haven't the heart to guilt him out to Mom and Dad, though. Besides I've managed to keep him pretty much sober for seventeen years and hopefully he won't be as dumb in the future.
Despite Sam's lesser qualities, of which there are many to justify Keegan to go out with the 'cuter twin', I was still his twin above all. We had fought over a girl when we were six and swore never to do it again. Well, we had fought more over Dad then the girl in question.
"I think that you should go," I mumbled, sighing, "And, you should confront Sam. He won't lie point-blank, except to our parents and siblings,"
Keegan nodded sadly and pecked me on the cheek, "Thank you David, for everything," She dropped my hands and left through the kitchen. I sat on the stool, in shock and the three kids filed in, not saying a word.
"We heard a lot," Nicky confessed
"Nicky, go home," I said tiredly, "I'll walk you and than I'm going to take Bryan and Annabel's to church where Grandma can watch you two. I just need to be alone for a while," I sighed
"Fine," Nicky said, "I think my dad's home,"
"Good, good," I said absently, putting Annabel's coat on her-inside out. She fixed it and we headed out for a nice leisurely walk, after they pulled me in the right direction toward Nicky's house.
I knocked on the door, stuffing my hands in my pocket. A red headed kid about my age and his older brother, I assume opened the door.
"Nicky?" The red head asked, "I thought you were in your room?"
"That's my brother Cain, and that's Jack," Nicky explaining, pointing them out.
"David Camden," I said, smiling, "My folks live three houses down and my sister's next door, plus my brothers' place a block away,"
"They have seven kids," Nicky said, and to me, he stated proudly, "My family has nine kids. I'm number six,"
Jack shook my hand and frowned, "Camden as in...Ruthie Camden? I heard from someone she was back,"
"Just for the summer," I explained, "Ruthie's at church with the womenfolk and I was just dropping off Nicky before I take Bryan and Annabel there,"
"I'll come," Jack said, grinning
"Me too," Cain added, frowning, "Nicky stay here and help Mom watch the triplets,"
"Triplets?" Annabel asked. She's a sucker for babies, particularly identical looking babies. It's nice to be at that age where all the medical risks for having multiple births haven't exactly hit or how one gets triplets. Then again, my parents-well Dad told Sam and I about the 'birds and bees' when he caught us looking up girl's skirts. I don't think Mom even knows about that.
"Yeah," Nicky said, "They're the only girls in my family, 'cept Mom. Molly cries a lot, Maggie likes to walk around with her head on the floor, and May has a stink bomb so bad that we hafta wear gas masks,"
"How eloquent," Cain said sarcastically, "Go watch your little sisters. Dad'll be home soon with Oliver, Lukas, and Ephram," He shoved Cain through the entrance and stepped out with Jack, shutting the door, grinning, "Mind if we ride with you?"
"Nah," I said, thinking about how nice Cain's hair looked. It wasn't like Keegan's dark red hair, always perfectly controlled by hair appliances and looked so smooth. Cain's was a bright orange that was on the verge of clashing with a red or orange sweater. The curls and bed head look to it only enhanced it, and I couldn't help noticing some well defined abs through his shirt. No wonder Ruthie had been desperate for a date with his brother. Jack was handsome as well, if not too old for me.
Speaking of Jack, am I really doing the right thing, exposing him to Ruthie, so soon after a break up with Tad or Thad or whatever the "bugger's" name was. Stupid Brit ravishing my sister and robbing her house after in the wee hours of morning. Then again, he was a nice guy and Ruthie needs a nice guy more than she needs a romantic British "bloke" with an affinity for stealing cheap vases from Pier 1.
I put Bryan in his little car seat. He doesn't really need one anymore, being 6 years old, but he refuses to get in the car without it. Matt likes to tell stories about how stubborn Bryan was, refusing to be potty trained until last year and playing only with certain toys, like Commander 16 and Malibu Stacey. (It was actually the boys' present to who they thought was going to be their sister-Baby Brianna.) Annabel sits next to him and I hand Jack the keys. I don't think I can drive in the shape I am.
Cain takes shotgun and starts fiddling with the radio. As it's Dad's car, it has Christian rock presets, so it takes Cain a few minutes to get off the presets and find a song that he could head bang to, with censors, of course. Bryan, I don't think he even knows what the BEEP means. However, he knows Eminem quite well and likes to beep-beep along with him. Matt and Sarah as a result of discovering their son's knowledge of censored Eminem music via Uncle Sam, got Annie and Eric to ground him for a week. Didn't stop Bryan from letting Sam dress him up as P-Diddy for Halloween.
"Man, you must be religious, David," Cain commented, "I've never heard a radio with so many Christian rock stations,"
"I'm not," I said, "This is my father's car. He's the minister at the church,"
"Grandpa's a good minister!" Annabel added, wanting to be included in the 'big kid's conversation'.
"Minister huh?" Cain asked, "How does he feel about people are homosexuals?"
"If they're a sniper or a Jesus Loves Me afficinado, not too kindly," I said, a poor attempt at a joke, "Dad says that God accepts us all for who we are, what choices we make, and how we live our life,"
"What's a homosexual?" Annabel asked
"Uh-" I scratched my ear, "What's your friend's name? Katie-Karrisa-Kitty?"
"Klara," Annabel corrected me
"Well, Klara has two mommies right?" Annabel nodded
"When there's two mommies or two daddies, they are called homosexuals. If it's one mommy and one daddy, than it is called heterosexual. Then there's me," I sighed, deciding just to get it over with and tell Bryan and Annabel. I knew they wouldn't tell anyone else.
"What are you?" Bryan asked, leaning toward me.
"I'm called a bisexual. Thats when uh-" I frowned, "A daddy likes mommies and other daddies, but not always at the same time,"
"What am I?" Annabel asked. They didn't seem dazed at me being a bisexual.
"That's your choice, Bell," I poked her nose
Cain piped up, "David, have you come out yet? Of the closet so to speak?"
"Nah, there's all this other stuff going on," I spotted the church and began to unbuckle Bryan. It was a pain to park, open his door, wrestle with the seatbelt for five minutes and pull out a very heavy six year old. Well not that heavy, but still, 55 pounds is a lot!
Jack handed me the keys and walked into the church, intent on finding a certain sister of mine. Cain on the other hand, helped me get Bryan and Annabel into the church with minimal fussing, protests, or tantrums. As soon as Bryan spotted Thomas, he ran off, and Annabel did the same, seeing her beloved Grandma.
"So," Cain stood next to me, scanning the office with a mess of kids and women gathered around playing various board games. "What is this?"
"A bonding thing that Mom likes to do to help keep the community close. Most of these girls are from the halfway house she's in charge of and their kids as well. Mom doesn't like saying good bye so she tries to stay in contact, through checkers and Scrabble,"
"Huh," Cain said, "What was the problem?"
"Let's go somewhere quieter," I said, moving to the church with him. I think I saw Ruthie talking to Jack in the corner, but I can't be too sure. I ended up where my family usually sits on Sundays and felt wrong there, so I moved to the opposite row. Felt easier there, not as many memories assaulting me. Cain sits next to me, and threads his fingers into mine. I smile.
"My nephew has spina bifida as well in a very ugly custody battle between my brother and his wife who cheated on him with another man for five months. My brother's been sleeping in his old room for the last few months while I've been bunking with my twin brother,"
"Wow, that is a pickle," Cain admitted, and I chuckle at his use of the word 'pickle' as opposed to something like 'problem', 'ordeal' or something like that.
"That's not all. Not even close," I said, in my bitter tone, "You know Annabel?" I pointed in the general vincinity of the office, "She has juvenile diabetes and Bryan has to eat this sugarless crap in front of her, because Sarah doesn't want her kids to be treated differently. That's why I always stuff him with Oreos at my place when she isn't looking,"
"David, I don't know," Cain sighed, "All these medical problems,"
"The worse part is that my family has no idea about Annabel's medical problems. She's very secretive of it. And there are at least five other secrets, one including your brother," I cocked my head to where he was
"What about Jack?" Cain asked, frowning
"When he was like our age," I said, "My sister Ruthie, who was two years younger than he, tried for the entire year to get him to go out with her. They didn't, because they both agreed that Ruthie wasn't where Jack was in maturity. And she was in love with Martin, you know? Coach Martin?"
Cain nodded, "And you think that Jack is going to try and go out with Ruthie again,"
"Martin too," I added heavily, "He had a baby with another girl instead of dating Ruthie, like she had wanted. Now though, he's single and my mother is walking around in a daze humming 'Here Comes the Bride',"
Cain chuckled, "I think it'll just be a rebound for my brother. He just broke up with some girl,"
"That was the rebound girl," I corrected him, smiling, "Crystal was the long time girl, Mona his rebound, and now if he asks Ruthie out, it's 50-50,"
Cain looked at me, "How do you know that?"
"Nicky is a big fan of cookies and milk, if you get what I mean," I smiled, "Didn't know you were gay though," I looked at him, "You are gay, right?"
"If I wasn't," Cain grinned, "Would I do this?" He kissed me softly on the lips and pulled away before I had a chance to protest. Fireworks.
"Damn," I mumbled and we both laughed, "I don't think I've ever been kissed in a church,"
"Same here," Cain admitted, smiling, "And uh, the bi thing isn't really a problem for me, David, but you should tell your family,"
"I told my twin, Bryan, and Annabel. That's enough for now," I said, sighing, "Let me tell you the other secrets," I looked at him, and he was about to protest,
"David, you don't have to-"
"I want to," I took his hand and smiled. The secrets came pouring out and a short hour later, I was free. Or at least, I felt freed. Cain smiled, he hadn't blinked an eye. Not even during the more gruesome secrets.
"David, here's my secret," He said softly, looking at me, "I like you...A lot,"
I laughed and nodded my agreement. Slowly, as if we were in some cheap two-bit romantic comedy that's been done at a particular angle to death, we leaned toward each other and were about to have our lips touching the other. However, my mother chose that moment to find me and shout,
"David! We're going!"
Jack showed up again, as well, and I could see faint lipstick marks on his neck and mouth. It was no wonder that the women were looking at him, and giggling. Cain dropped my hand and smiled,
"Will you come to church tomorrow?" I blurted out and he smiled, nodding. Jack however, heard, and added,
"I'll come too, Ruthie invited me,"
I glared at him, and Cain did as well. Cain. Cain Morgan. That sounds so perfect. Cain Morgan Camden. David Morgan Camden. Or vice versa. It doesn't really matter to me. Then again, there is Keegan. She isn't meant for me though in any way, but lust, I'm starting to think.
Maybe I'm just a homosexual, who just had his last fanasty with a woman in them.
Yeah right. (insert laughing here)