I Like Your Funny Words, Magic Man

by Virgo with Cheer

Everyone lives, till they die. A few every so often die then live again. It's weird, but whatever, so's the rest of existence. What does a guy who has a vague recollection of most things to come in the next few decades and no pressing feelings one way or another do? They spend their days getting brickfaced up in a tower. People talk smack about Trelawney, but she had great deal.

18. Another Thing To Not Think About

More of the good stuff, as I work on a rewrite of some of my older stuff, and another something I'll keep quiet for now. Also, Happy Mother's Day everyone!

Chapter 18: Another Thing Not To Think About

OR

You Can NEVER Unlearn About Sausage. This Is Fact.

A fact most people didn't really think much about was where the food the castle populous ate got sourced from. Most assumed the vast part of it was imported, and they'd be right! For about the first month back after major holidays brought in just for the occasion. After that though, it just wouldn't be affordable given the somewhat paltry tuition fee charged to students per year, so just like every other problem in the Wizarding World, it was solved through copious amounts of magic getting thrown at it.

Well, that and some light farming, but that undersells my point a bit so we'll ignore it for now.

Nah, things were made much simpler thanks to some good ol indentured Elvish magic, keeping our 'original' orders of food fresh and ready to be duplicated or Transfigured in their own special little way to result in tasty dishes and not horrific not-food poison like if any other wizard tried the same. Everything else was supplemented with spices and the occasional root vegetable patch grown by either our Groundskeeper, Herbologist, or the Spooky Murder Forest just outside our doors.

I still felt a little weird when I first learned about the fact that my porkchop that night had probably been bought at some point in the mid-70's, but shrugged it off after a bit by rationalizing it as the worlds best preservatives/jerky ever. It also meant that I took my meals by my own course the vast majority of the time, barring events when I was in fact forced to attend on threat of job termination by way of Hogwarts wards not recognizing me for the position anymore. Or some other bullshit similar to that, it was explained to me during my teacher orientation, but I was pretty tipsy at the time so it kind of blurred together for me at that point.

Did I have a point with this? I feel like I had a point with this.

Whatever. Either way I was enjoying my night hanging around on my maybe possibly illegally added balcony; held in place by some enchanted chains and everyman's friend duct tape, overlooking said forest while I stirred my pot full of Acromantula legs. The abdomen was slow-roasting in my oven for an even bake with a honey glaze, while the legs were set to a simmer with a nice salt and pepper mix so I could crush the left over exoskeleton bits too crunchy to bite though directly into a nice stock for some poisson ramen for another night.

Heheh, if only we actually did cooking courses, I'd enjoy those far more than the actual Divination shit I'm stuck peddling.

Ah well, inherent need for 'Magic' classes at 'Magic' school aside, a good meal was always something to enjoy.

END OF CHAPTER

It's kind of a nothing chapter, but still fun and something for me to put out for you all to enjoy. Plus, hey, I WISH I could make crab ramen right now, but Snowcrab is WAY to hard to find in my current living space. Which is doubly stupid cause its one of the seafood capitals of the region, but fuck that I guess. Hope ya enjoyed, and look forward to more of my stuff again soon!