(A/N Take Two, I'll try again.

Disclaimer: Annoyingly enough, my brother pointed out that I don't own the TARDIS, so I can't go back and do my history homework properly. By association, I don't own any of the things mentioned in Doctor Who, the BBC does. Unfortunately for me, I also don't own the Matrix or Minority Report, but I don't really mind as much about that.)

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2 – Welcome to the End of the World

So, now that the alien's kidnapped the beautiful girl (or something along those lines), where should they go on a nice holiday vacation? The Doctor suggests going to watch the Earth get blown up. Ok!… Oh, he wasn't kidding. Well, with his love of blowing things up/getting blown up I should have guessed he wasn't joking.

One wonders if our alien ever gets invited to anything properly, or he just likes gatecrashing.

Meet the people with blue skin, they're aliens.

Meet the trees, they're also aliens.

Meet the black hooded dudes, they're droids. But you don't know that yet, so we'll say they're aliens.

Now meet a face-in-a-jar. You guessed it – alien.

That guy standing next to Rose – he's an alien as well.

There's a stretched-out piece of skin on a wire frame, she's an al… No. Wait. That one's human. And an evil money-grabbing villain in the bargain. But you don't know that yet.

What's this? Those suspicious-looking gift eggs are hatching! They're giving birth to little mechanical spiders. Was it just me who's forcibly reminded of

Matrix sentinels

Those spider things from Minority Report?

Just me? Ok, then.

Then we get some human –alien friendship bonding (A/N I said friendship!) over a soon-to-be-deceased planet and a 5000000000-year phone call. (A/N Ouch! The bill would be huge!). See, Rose? He does like you. He invited you into his place and now he's given you a present! And, just to break up a slightly tender moment, the entire station shudders.

'Err…it's supposed to do that' blue dude squeaks over the PA system. Yeah, right. Apparently, Trouble-on-legs agrees with me. Which can only be a good thing…right? Maybe not, because it means that he goes off alone with the tree from earlier that he breathed over.

Oh no! His secret identity is discovered! He's not really Mr. Random-probably-rich-alien-from-unspecified-planet. He is, in fact: Last Time Traveling Alien Of His Species. And…

He's all alooone,

There's no-one here

Besiiiiiiide hiiiiim!

Minor 'awwww' moment please.

Now that's over let's find out why it was such a bad idea to leave Rose alone.

She's talking to the (her own words) 'bitching trampoline'. Maybe it wasn't such a clever idea to offend someone who has the droids, I mean the minions, to kill you. Or at least knock her unconscious and leave her in a pretty viewing gallery.

Dun, dun, duuuun! But what's this? Those Matrix sentinels cross Minority Report Spiders have been busy. Look, they killed (indirectly of course. Can you imagine one of those things wielding a knife?) the blue-skinned dude from earlier. Look, they killed Rose. That was a short series.

No, hang on. I'm mistaken; the Doctor came and saved her. What'd he do that for? Maybe he likes her. So now she has a front row seat of the Earth blowing up. Our Time Lord would be envious.

Would be; apart from he's too busy trying not to get blown up.

And Trouble-on-legs saves everyone by walking straight through the equivalent of a solid spinning saw blade. Without explaining how he did it. Which is annoying, because that would have been so useful to know last term, when I was attempting to escape the wrath of my mathematics teacher.

So he saves everyone.

Except for the tree. And anyone else who's allergic to 5000°C. Which isn't him, because he's an alien. Obviously.

The Doctor proceeds to reveal his top-secret identity to Rose (and us viewers incidentally) as Last Surviving Time Lord. Then tries to brush it off by going for some chips.

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Summary of the Synopsis: They fail to save the world (they weren't really trying), but still nearly get blown up in the process.

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A/N Sooo… what do you think? Should I give up now and go find a rock to crawl under? Keep going but get someone professional to look at my sense of humour? Tell me, ok? If no one says anything I'll be back in a couple of days.

And I'd like any TARDIS acronyms that you can think of!