Authors Note: Ok so hear it is! i decided to be nice and get this out! SOO ON WITH THE STORY!
Disclaimer: No...sadly i do not own twilight.
Chapter Two- Hunting
I've never actually liked the idea of hunting humans, but I have to admit, it does satisfy my thirst and so much more.
I remember the first time I went hunting. I went with the rest of my clan, and had tried to do it their way. It had been terribly uncomfortable, chatting and socializing with the person I was going to kill, putting on a fake show of smiles, acting like we were having the best time in the world. The clan each had their own human, and we headed back to the house. Once there, each of us had gone into different rooms, and proceeded to "hunt".
Smelling the luscious blood, I was subconsciously going into predator mode. I hadn't hunted at all,since the beginning of the change,not a drop of blood, thinkingI could put it off.It was too much. I committed to memory the boy's eyes, a vivid jade, before in a flash; my teeth were in his neck.
Drinking his sweet, warm blood, I thought I was in heaven. The predator in me was little by little getting its satisfaction and pleasure. I never wanted it to stop. All I focused on was getting every single last drop.
But then my rational side caught up. How could I've been so cruel? Taking an innocent life, and now hearing his scream of agony. Horrified, I moved to stop, but found that I couldn't. Both sides of me were engaged in a battle of the wills. On one side of the fight, was the predator.
What's the big deal? It's just a stupid human. Just one human! It's nothing significant. No one will remember this worthless creature…
On the other side…
What the hell are you doing? This poor boy might have siblings, or even friends! Even if he didn't he does have parents! You're acting like a monster! No, wait, you are a monster. A monster that's killing an innocent boy.
Finally coming to my senses, I had broken off. But it was too late. He was dead.
Devastated, I had taken his body and buried it in the woods, with a little headstone as a remembrance. The guilt was so crushing, I actually asked Don to end it for me. Yes, I know. The first few years of my vampires' existence, Iwas so solemn, I could have given Lilith a run for her money.
But after that one kill of the innocent, I knew I wouldn't be able to do it again, not without the guilt getting to me. But then again, there was no possible way I could drink animal blood, now knowing how much better humans were…
I'd though for days with no end, and finally, I had come up with something. Somewhere deep inside of me, where the old Bella was, I knew that this was just as bad, but I refused to let the old Bella resurface, because with it, the came pain, and I couldn't take anymore of it.
I couldn't think of anything else, and anyways, what these humans got, was what they deserved.
Back to the present, I walk promptly past the large sign, stating where I am, though I already know.
The ninth ward.
If I was human and then just walked dandily into this place, I would either get killed, kidnapped, or something worse…
It was a wretched, miserable place to be, much less live, and it was a perfect place to find humans filled with corruption and evil. The roads were dirt, and the houses were shacks. Homeless people lay randomly against the concrete walls of the warehouses. The walls, fences, and the train I now notice on the railroad track, are all covered with graffiti. The streetlights are all busted or out, so the only luminosity is the moonlight.
Taking a deep breath, I smellfresh blood, which meansI smellthesinners close by.
I walk through the darkness.
Seeing perfectly fine, I spot two men at the corner of the dirt path. I gracefully saunter in the direction of the men, purposely knocking into trashcan so they're aware of my presence. Through the darkness, their heads jerk towards me, and I continue to walk, faking unawareness.
I see one of the men nod in my direction. The other stays put, hidden in the shadows. He whispers,
"Once she walks past, we'll follow. Then we'll do it." He gives a perverted smile to the other, and they both stay where the moonlight doesn't reach. I don't like wasting time, and it's almost 3:00. With a sigh, I decide it doesn't matter.
I walk past, and I see them furtively follow. All in a minute, I sense them behind me. I turn around, and there they are, staring down at me. I see them do a double take, entranced by my beauty.
This is too easy.
"Hello" I say alluringly. I've broken the trance, and they put their plans back into action. One of the males pushes me against the wall. In the next half-second, we've exchanged places. I smile threateningly, and put my hand on his neck, very close to snapping it.
"Did you want something?" I say openly. He replies cockily.
"Only you, baby." I bare my teeth in disgust, and let out a low growl.
He looks down at me with irritation and moves to switch places again, but he doesn't know that that won't happen.
The next male moves behind me and puts his hands on my thighs, moving upward. The next second, he's doubled over in pain, a few meters away, clutching his male anatomy. I know he'll be like that for a few minutes. The first male shifts his feet to ram into my stomach, but I quickly move out of the way, and push him harder against the wall, so that he can't move an inch.
I now look up once more into the man's eyes, and I now see what satisfies me.
With fear in his eyes, the predator within me strikes. I sink my teeth into his neck.
He gives a cry of pain but it's short-lived. I drink every last drop, because it's dangerous otherwise, with the possibility of the transformation taking place on the victim.
I throw his body to the ground, and now glance at the other man, still a few meters away. He's glaring at me with fear and hatred.
Not bothering any more to hide my true nature, I'm next to him in less then half-a-second. I pick him up by the neck and say,
"I've seen you around before," I say growling, and it was true. On my last hunting trip, I had seen this man, but I had already killed and gotten pleased, so I let him go. I continued. "And trust me when I say, you deserve what you get." He didn't deny his crimes, and good thing he didn't or I would've killed him right there on the spot, but I guess it doesn't matter since I'm going to kill him anyways.
What I didn't expect was for him to spit in my face.
Aghast, I raise my hand to my face, but don't touch the filthy saliva. My other hand is clenched in anger. I snarl but decide not to take out my anger on his face; but as soon as I decide that, he raises his fist and punches me in the face. I choose to let him, since he's just causing himself more pain. As soon as his fist comes in contact with my face, he howls in agony and manages to get out,
"Bitch!"
I growl and come to a decision not to waste anymore time. Too quick for him to feel, I snap his neck and drink up the pleasing fluid inside.
Once done,my rational side catches up withme, andI stare at the two carcasses sadly. Their lifeless eyes stare back at me, reminding me of the crime I committed, which was just as bad as what these men did in the past.
According to my subconscious, I'm a bit sad, because it starts to lightly rain. I gaze vaguely into the sky. It might not be midnight, but the remaining stars still raise my mood a bit.
For some reason, tonight I was feeling more then the usual amount of guilty emotion. I sigh, and decide to burry them. Picking both up, as if they were dolls, I run back towards the house.
I know where I'm going, and that's straight to the little headstone.
I arrive and put them down gently. It's not pleasant, but with my hands, I dig up a hole for each, and bury them. I don't have a headstone, but I'm not sure if they actually deserve one.
They did deserve what they got…
The same questions that came with my first kill pop up in my head.
What about family? What if they had a wife? Or worse, kids?
I tell myself that he probably molested his children, and that he probably beat his wife.
There's no possible way for you to know that…one side says.
It's their fault! They were going to commit an unforgivable crime! I should've done worse then kill them… the other side replies hastily. I realize there's no point in even trying, because I'm not going to be convinced.
Though they were going to attempt to rape me, I still feel remorse.
Each time I hunted was like a guilt spree. It is an awful feeling, but I don't know what to do about it. There's no possibility of me switching to animals, because I'd go into a craving mode for about a year, (AN: I got this from Like Us! Not my idea!) This was not good, since we would start school in about two and a half weeks.
The guilt was nothing compared to the innocent killing I had committed, but it was still a distasteful feeling.
Looking up into the tranquil sky, I head back to the house. No more hunting for me tonight. I've already stacked enough guilt on my plate, thank you.
I'm feeling anxious and somber again. Will this ever end?
I arrive at the house to see everyone done with their 'meals'. I grimace. I turn upstairs to go shower.
I remove my clothes, and step into the shower.Letting the warm water gently cascade down my back, I scrub my head with the freesia shampoo.This was one habit that I couldn't lose. Like always, it released the tension in my body. I relaxed andrinsed off the remaining shampoo.I turned off the water and stepped out, wrappinga towelaround myself. Putting on an over-larged greent-shirt,I search for my ipod. I find it, andzoom back downstairs.
Settling on laying on the huge, fluffy black armchair, I flick the on switch and put on Numb by Linkin Park. I sigh idly, and it begins.
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless
Lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure
Of walking in your shoes
I stare straight ahead, listening intently to the lyrics, wanting to drown out all thoughts. But that's basically impossible, with my mind against me. I close my eyes slowly.
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Maybe that was my mistake. Maybe I shouldn't have pressured him. Maybe he got tired of the human. Maybe I wasn't good enough. Maybe it was my all fault.
No, it was not my fault. It was all his fault, and stop thinking of this. You'll regret it.
I've
Become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you
Yes, this part fits me perfectly… I don't like to remember him. At all. I don't want to be like him in any way. I want to be my own person, with no setbacks.
Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly
Afraid to lose control
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
Did I ever smother him? Perhaps, but the only reason I was holding on to him tightly, was because I thought he was going to leave.
And what do you know…he did. I think bitterly.
But he always said he was afraid he was going to lose control and drink me dry…
And the last part is true… everything that I thought he would be,
Like a great boyfriend and one who would stay with me forever…I sigh, so not true...
But everything had turned out wrong, and it had fallen apart, right before my eyes…
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is
Another mistake to you
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
And every second I waste
Is more than I can take
It's true. Every day I spend being distant, every moment I have to live bitterly through, every second of eternity, is much, much more then I can take.
I've
Become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you
I open my eyes, to see Blake and Vega talking, and hear distantly from Blake,
"What was the news you had for us?"
I turn up the volume all the way, not caring what comes out of Vega's mouth.
Silently watching, I see Blake freeze.
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me
With someone disappointed in you
I see his mouth moving, and Lilith and Adrian come down, and Donovan turns around from the T.V. Everyone has an unpleasant expression. Vega looks annoyed; Adrian looks grave; Lilith looks solemn; Donovan looks a bit angry, and Blake definitely looks mad. I lower the volume, and ask cautiously while the music's still playing,
"What's wrong?"
I've
Become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you
Blake answers with resentment in his voice,
"The Cullen clan are approaching, and their coming to stay."
I've become so numb…
but the pain is coming back full force…
Authors Note: ok...sorry if it's a bit rushed, but my airplane leaves at 3:30 and I decided I HAD TO GET THIS OUT! but b/c i got this out...my next chapter probaly won't be out until like...tuesday or wednesday...IM LEAVING OUT OF TOWN! i don't want to go but...sigh! READ AND REVIEW! I LOVE ALL MY REVIEWERS WITH A FIERY PASSION! MWA! XOXO ;o! review! evn if its critcism! ill still luv u! LOL! BUH-BYE!