A/N On with the show!

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Right, I'm not as happy with this chapter as the others. Not that the episode isn't good. That's great, I was just finding it hard to poke fun at…see what you think:

Possibly the problem is the fact I'm suffering from sugar withdrawal symptoms…

Disclaimer: Do not own Doctor Who, that would be the BBC you're looking for. Hmmm… wonder how much they'll sell for? Three quid? Coz that's all I've got right now, top-up cards using up most of my money.

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8 – We're not a couple! (A/N (snicker) Not yet at any rate!)

We'll open with a random photo of a random guy. Alright, so maybe he's not that random, because we get a voiceover from Rose explaining that he's her father. (Thus explaining the title of the episode for everyone who's yet to get it).

Cut to a memory of Jackie reminiscing about the 'wonderful, marvelous, brilliant' Pete Tyler…riiiiiight. And, they managed to get one of the sweetest little girls ever to play little Rose.

Now, inside the 'Terribly Ancient (and) Rickety (when) Deeply In Space' (compliments for this go to Mousewolf) Rose asks her Time genie ('your wish is my command'? What was he thinking?) to take her to see her Daddy dying.

For once, our alien gets his destination spot on, and all the viewers keel over in shock (or something). Their entertainment for today is watching someone get hit by a speeding car. Personally, I prefer buses; they make more carnage. Included here is a moment for the shippers: Rose grabbing his hand for emotional (and physical) support.

The Mark I versions of Time-Lord and his plus one watch Petey die. Then Rose wants an action replay. Something that she could only have with her very own time alien.

The Mark II (new and upgraded) versions peer around the corner at themselves. Does it count as stalking if you're watching yourself?

Rose remembers that she's a Good Samaritan and promptly breaks the rules (of time). The Doctor's not happy about that, not happy at all. If looks could kill, it'd be Rose lying on the road.

SUDDENLY WE HAVE A RED SPOOKY CAMERA ANGLE! And we just know that trouble is about to happen.

Petey (I can't exactly call him 'random-something-or-other' since he's been mentioned in a few episodes) explains that the milk is in the fridge, but really should be on the windowsill where it belongs.

Trouble-on-legs proceeds to have a strop because he thinks that Rose stitched him up pretty badly. So he wants the key back off Rose. They have what's known as a

'Lover's Tiff'. Except that they aren't together. One wonders if Rose and the Doctor know that 'There' exists?

SPOOKY RED CAMERA! Oh no! People are vanishing into the red filtered lens on the camera!

Our Time Lord's still in a mood. But, he nevertheless notices that something's up. It's kind of obvious when the inside of the

Trouble And Rose, Damn It's Scary (Thank you Jade Kirk, who possibly owns the patent rights to this one!) isn't where he left it. It was supposed to be on the inside of that out-of-place telephone box, but it's gone walkies.

Interesting to note that almost his first thought was: ROSE!

(That is, after the whole

'Where the heck has my TARDIS gone?

What the heck am I going to do to get my TARDIS back again?

And,

Why the heck has my TARDIS chosen to disappear now when all I wanted was a banana smoothie?')

Rose receives a message (with her mysteriously reappeared phone) from Sherlock Holmes: 'Watson…come here…I need you…' She assumes it's a wrong number. When her dad almost crashes the car, she very nearly blurts out who she is by yelling:

"DADDY!" Unsurprisingly, she gets noticed.

'Ickle-Baby-Rose starts wailing. Obviously her lung capacity hasn't changed.

SPOOKY RED CAMERA! Little Mickey's friends get eaten by the nasty red filter.

Rose thinks that her alien's come back for her. Stupidly, she stands still even when it's quite obvious that he's worked up over something. She stands still while the owner of the red filter and the creepy camera angles reveals itself. The only vaguely productive thing she does is to scream at it. Never mind. She's standing still for a reason:

She wants to get rugby-tackled by the Doctor. Or at least, that's the way it looked to me.

Rose's father gets clever and figures out who exactly Rose is. (not that she tried all that hard to disguise herself). Cue angst-y moment of:

"Rosey!"

"Daddy!"

Pause.

"Since when has my name been 'Rosey?"

"Since when has my name been 'Daddy'?…Uhh…wait a sec…"

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Trouble-on-legs wishes he was a normal Joe Bloggs and didn't have things blowing up around him all the time. Then remembers that he likes things blowing up and decides to save the world, just like he normally does.

He has a very informative talk with 'Ickle-Baby-Rose, then tells big Rose that her childcare skills are bad and he doesn't want her near the baby.

He also apologises, which is a very rare occurrence. Quick, has anyone got a camera so we can tape this? He has yet another planet-angst moment and then gets Rose to apologise so they're even.

Big Hug! (This is for Lady Mearle, if she EVER gets round to reading this. She'll know what I mean)

The key says the TARDIS is alive! Last Time Lord springs into action, quickly removing his jacket.

Oh. That was so that he didn't burn himself. He gives a sermon on how he's so wonderful because he's about to save the world. Egocentric? Slightly! But that's the way we like him.

According to Jackie, the state of her nails is more important than the fate of the world. She may have a point there…

Rose talks to her dad and lies a lot about him not being dead and really does quite poorly at it. She needs lessons in lying to people. It's almost like:

"So, how was I as a father?"

"Ummm… I don't know because you were too dead to be my father." Subtle Rose, ree-al subtle.

The 'Going To Attempt Really Doomed Idiotic Strategy' (that would be the ghost TARDIS to everyone who's not me) starts to appear.

Again, Rose does the typical teenager thing of doing exactly the opposite of whatever someone's told her to do. So creates a paradox in the process.

Trouble-on-legs tells the Random-alien-bacteria-with-the-spooky-red-filter-that-looks-remarkably-like-a-gargoyle that he's the oldest thing in the room.

Everyone gets a strange mental picture of the Doctor using a Zimmer frame. Or a walking stick. Or a wheelchair. Now that would be funny.

He also gets gallant, and goes for the 'EAT MEE FIRST!' approach to adventuring. Which practically guarantees someone's death. To add insult to injury (well, to add insult to fatality actually) they take the ghost of the

'Total And Responsible (for) Destruction In Space' (This one belongs to fobofish92, who went so far as to give me FOUR different reviews on the last chapter! Thanks!) with them.

Rose has yet another angst moment, this episode seems full of them. Petey gets clever, decides to follow the trend and sacrifice himself. Rose goes even more tearful (for who though?).

Now that the timeline's sorted itself back out all of the bacteria get wiped out. And the Doctor reappears, without even mentioning the brief spell he's been dead for. I wonder if he even knows about it.

Rose runs over to (tearfully) watch her dad die. She changes history doing so, but our alien does that all the time, so it's no biggie.

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Summary of the Synopsis: They save the world, and nearly exterminate the human race in the process. They fail to save Rose's father.

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Hmmm, no. Not as good. I know why! They didn't blow anything up!

The Empty Child (next week's) looks good! Rose appears to acquire another 'boyfriend'. Next week then. Until that time, Sayonara!

REVIEW!