part 15 - revelations
Haruko shifted her eyes away from the building to the piece of paper in her grasp.
Well, this is it...she confirmed in silence.
Again her eyes darted around; to the vacant street and to the row of quiet neighbouring houses. Just then a passerby appeared, looking at the stranger before her with a pair of curious eyes. Haruko bowed a little in a gesture of respect to the elderly woman, and thereafter the woman eased into a smile. She watched as the woman disappeared behind the gate of a nearby house, then only did she focused once again on the dwelling before her.
Haruko heaved in a deep breath before pushing the bell button on the gate with a cold finger, and waited. A few minutes passed without an answer, and she slowly reached for the button again. But before she could complete the task, the front door burst open, and a familiar face greeted her in equal astonishment.
"Haruko?" The person at the door was genuinely bemused with her presence before him.
The puzzlement lapse from her face, and her lips curve into a slight smile. "Youhei...komban wa."
A moment of silence preceded before he voiced out again, chuckling a little, "It's really a surprise to see you. How did you find your way here?"
Haruko held out the piece of paper with a weak grin, "I got the address from the record book." She glanced behind him while inquiring softly, "Is Sakuragi in? Seeing you open the door, I almost thought that I've obtained the wrong address."
"Hai, Hanamichi's inside," he remarked sheepishly, parting the door wide. "Er...Irrashaimase. Do come in."
She entered the Sakuragi's home timidly and waited for Youhei to close the door before inquiring further. "Sakuragi, is he alright?"
Youhei blinked in bafflement. "What do you mean by that, Haruko?"
"Well, he didn't come for practice sessions for two days straight, and later on I found out that he didn't attend classes either," she offered an explanation. "So, I thought I'd come to check on him."
He responded with an 'ah' and added later as both of them paced towards the living hall, "He's perfectly okay, but he just wanted to skip school. Didn't tell me why, though. So, here I am with him, wasting our time with some games."
Haruko felt increasing confused, but remained composed. Youhei instructed her towards a room where she could find Sakuragi on the first level before he moved farther to the back. However, on instinct, he turned back. Seeing her standing before the flight of stairs in awkwardness, he stopped short and urged,
"Go on, just treat this house as your own. There's no one else other than myself and Sakuragi. I'll get you something to drink."
Still she was unsure, but before she could say anything, Youhei had disappeared behind a door.
Haruko stood rooted in front of the stairway, contemplating with her thoughts. Just then a voice loomed from upstairs, "Hey Youhei, where are you? Get back here, I don't know how to get to the next level!"
Guided by the voice, she went upstairs. Before long, she found the room, and inside, sitting cross legged on a sofa, was the red head she so much wanted to see. He looked totally absorbed, channeling all attention towards the TV screen while grasping a game console tightly. Haruko did not advance; merely standing at the door, looking on at him in silence. Unlike Rukawa, she noticed that Sakuragi was without any bruises, and this puzzled her deeply.
"What are you standing there for? Come and help me out!" Sakuragi hissed.
Suddenly he grew frantic, punching the buttons on the console with all his might. A depressing sound emerged from the TV screen, indicating that he had lost the game. Sakuragi groaned inwardly and grew limp altogether. "Great! I told you not to leave my side, didn't I? Look, I've lost again!"
Receiving no response, his face contorted into a deep frown.
"Doushite?" He inquired, slowly looking towards the door, and was stunned upon realising that it wasn't his best friend who was standing muted outside, but a totally unexpected person. Clumsily he got to his feet, accidentally dropping the game console to the floor in the process.
"It's--it's you..." he whispered with eyes unblinking.
"Komban wa, Sakuragi," Haruko greeted with a smile. "May I come in?"
It took him some time to ease from the shock. "Do...dozo." He gestured her towards the sofa, in which she inclined albeit feeling a little perturbed. It was after all her first visit to his house, and without the presence of his other family members, she could not help but to feel that way.
After seeing her being comfortably seated, he sat himself beside her. They remained silent, further adding to his nervousness. Before long, he fidgeted a bit before turning for the door. "I'll get you something to drink," he stated, sounding eager to leave. To Haruko, it was obvious that he was trying to excuse himself from her presence.
"But Youhei has already seen to it."
"I'll go and check on him," he proceeded, not even looking back.
Uncertain as to when she would get the chance to speak to him in private again, Haruko stood up and followed him, and practically raised her voice as he began to descend the stairway, "Chotto matte!"
At the tone of her voice, Sakuragi halted, and slowly turned around. Looking ill at ease with her presence before him, he tried to avoid her stare as much as he could.
"Please, I want to have a word with you," she spoke softly.
With that, he willed himself to meet her gaze, and succumbed to its projection of concern.
* * * *
"Everyone is worried of you."
The person beside her remained silent, resting his elbows on his knee and gazing down to the floor.
"Ayako even said that she would come to your house and see to it that you get her extra special treatment if you failed to show up tomorrow."
That made him smile a bit and he eased a little. "With her paper fan, I suppose?"
Haruko stifled a laugh, replacing it with a grin. "I suppose so."
They grew quiet. Just as she was about to inquire him further, he directed her a question, slowly facing her, "You wanted to confront me about the bruises on Rukawa's face, didn't you?"
She was stunned at his blunt inquiry, but she was quick to rebut. "No...that wasn't the reason why I came. I came to see you." The atmosphere grew utterly quiet between them. Prompted by such stillness, she grew awkward. Finally, she looked up to gaze at his face, unable to find the way to question him in any way more appropriate but to go straight to the point.
"Did...did the two of you got involved in a fight?" she questioned.
Sakuragi looked up in surprise, but answered a while later in a sceptic tone, "Didn't he tell you?"
All he could get from her part was mere silence. A while of wordless silence seeped between them, channeling all sorts of feelings in his heart; guilt, regret and the remaining but slowly fading anger. But guilt was the most domineering among others. Prompted by that single feeling, Sakuragi stated in a bare whisper,
"I fought with him yesterday. I beat him, over and over again...but you know what? He didn't fight back...just stoned himself while I channeled my anger at him." He let out a frustrated sigh while staring at his palms as if regretting what had happened. "He did nothing, when I wanted so badly for him to fight back."
Haruko was dazed with the revelation, and was temporarily consumed by guilt herself. She had at first harboured ill assumptions on Rukawa pertaining to Sakuragi's absence. Questions entered her mind one after another.
She rested a hand on his shoulder, trying to peer at his face. He must have been full of rage at the time, she thought, to have left Rukawa with such bruises. But why? She had to know what had prompted him to such extend. "Why, Sakuragi? Why did it happened?"
He offered her a weak grin, but somehow he appeared calm.
"I was deeply jealous for what he has that I don't." Staring at her earnestly, he then added, "Although I don't want to acknowledge this...not in front of him, I had to accept that I can never equal him. Perhaps I was not meant to play basketball at the first place," he shrugged. Watching her expression grow dim with each words he spoke, Sakuragi could not help but to refrain from telling the real truth. There were details that he had intentionally left out from the confession; the truth in which he knew would bring the person before him not calm, but only sadness.
Haruko's heart trembled with emotions as she listened to him. The Sakuragi she knew was now reduced to such a state of despair, and she had put part of the blame to herself for not being able to notice his misery sooner.
"I was at the brink of giving up...felt hopeless beyond all means."
His words appalled her greatly. "Don't say that, don't ever give up! You have so much of potential...and besides, there's nothing to stop you," she pleaded, unconsciously clutching his shirt.
He gave a little laugh and suddenly aware of her act, slowly she released him, and turned crimson with embarrassment.
"Don't worry, I'm okay now," he smiled. "A person has already opened my eyes to reality."
Again she was consumed in confusion, but she frowned as an alarming thought formed in her mind. "You're not going to quit the team, are you?"
Seeing the concern on her face, he felt deeply touched. It was the greatest gift that a gentle heart could ever yield, he thought in silence. Laughter preceded his words thereafter. "No I'm not." Sakuragi lowered his gaze to the floor in embarrassment, and added a confession weakly, "However, the thought had entered my mind before."
Haruko was momentarily relieved, but still she was slightly ambiguous with the whole thing. "Sakuragi, is there something else you kept away from me?"
Sakuragi was becoming more of his old self, and sat back as he stared at her. "I have something to tell you. Something that I should have confide in you earlier, but I was always without the courage to do so."
The seriousness in his voice and the silence that preceded his words reminded her so much of a certain past between them. She looked up in alarm, her eyes locking into his, but to her utmost surprise, Sakuragi looked away.
"After being dormant for such a long time, my capability to play like what I once was just vanished," he imparted without the courage to look at her eye to eye. He was ashamed to relay such words to the very person who had encouraged him towards basketball at the first place.
The expression on her face altered almost immediately. "Why didn't you tell me? Or Ayako...or anyone else, at least?" Haruko was deeply concerned for she had heard of the phenomena, and knew the detriment implication it can cause to a rising player like Sakuragi.
"I...I lacked the confidence, moreover after returning from the hospital," he relayed softly. "Imagine the fear I felt after failing to score a ball. It was as if I had never done any training whatsoever. I didn't know who I could turn to to relieve me out of this tension. But I should have known better." Sakuragi broke into a sheepish smile. "After I shared this with you, I feel better instantly. I'm not backing away so easily now. In fact, I'm bursting with determination. I want to be the best, even if it means I have to do nothing but practice to perfect myself."
Haruko was washed with relief. "So desu ka?" She relaxed and smiled. "You don't know how happy I am to hear this."
They exchange smiles, and Sakuragi was the first to look away, flushing slightly. Just then, a sharp rap was heard on the partly open door, startling them both.
"May I come in?"
It was Youhei at the door, grinning thoroughly while balancing a jug of lemonade and a few cups on a tray, along with some packs of snacks. "I brought some stuff to eat and something to wash it down with."
Sakuragi stood up and neared his friend. "And it took you more than half an hour to prepare it?" He picked up a packet and scrutinised it, then darted his eyes to the jug of drink. "Not only is this snack convenient, but lemonade on a cold day like this? I think you can come up with something better, my friend..."
Youhei grabbed the packet from him. "Like you can come up with something better? For your information, I had to run to a nearby store to get these...AND, it took me only twenty minutes to come up with these, not thirty." He smiled smugly at the expression of disgust he got from Sakuragi at having lost the debate. "Come Haruko, let's ignore him and fill our stomachs."
Haruko's eyes followed the bickering friends as they set the tray on a small table, a smile imminent on her lips at the prospect of typical, happy days to come.
* * * *
"I'll see you tomorrow then." Haruko eyed the two friends alternately, "And you too, Youhei."
The mentioned person waved a little as she descend the small stairway towards the tarmac. "It's nice to have you around...at least it's a change from the usual stuff we use to do here," he waved his hand in distaste and continued in a whisper, "...boring stuff."
"Hey!" Sakuragi elbowed him slightly. "Then how come you're here almost everyday?"
Haruko could not contain a smile. After the two friends had ended their bickering, she parted farewell. "Ja, atode."
Both Sakuragi and Youhei ensued her leave, and they remained quiet for some time. Calculating that she would already be out of hearing range, Youhei turned to Sakuragi and spoke softly, careful not to let his tone be heard by any but the intended receiver, "You told her yet?"
"Hm?" The red head stared at his friend questioningly, his eyes blinked in sheer bemusement. "Told her what?"
"That you saw her with Rukawa the other day. That you know that something's going on between them?"
Sakuragi quieted. Slowly he shifted his gaze away from Youhei's, down to the road that Haruko had just taken. The girl was no longer there, but his gaze remained transfixed to the quiet road for a long moment. Youhei observed this course of action in silence, patiently waiting for his answer, yet it never came.
Finally, after what seems like forever, the tall youth let out a soft sigh, smiling as he did so, and confronted his friend with the much awaited reply, "There's no need to...perhaps it's for the best."
And with that, he abruptly turned around and stepped inside the house, calling his friend in a cheery tone as he reached the bottom of the stairs, "Hey, you still owe me the tips to get to the next level."
Youhei said nothing while the red head climbed the stairs. Yet, as he slowly close the door, the feeling of sympathy crept to his heart. From upstairs, he could hear Sakuragi humming a tune loudly, yet, having known him since before they entered middle school, Youhei knew his friend all too well. From experience, he knew that no one would ever be so calm when it comes to parting with loved ones, let alone this friend of his whose heart had never before been touched to the extent as what Haruko had on him.
"...perhaps it's for the best..."
The words echoed in his mind once again.
But for whose best interest is it? Youhei questioned himself again and again, but was not met with any answer.
* * * *
The next day, everyone who came in the hall was surprised by a loud, feisty greeting, which came from none other but a certain red head who came much earlier than he usually does.
"Hey, where have you been the last two days? No words, no message, no nothing. What has happened to you?" inquired Miyagi who was the first to came in with Mitsui that afternoon.
Setting aside the pail of water and the floor cleaner, Sakuragi replied sheepishly, "I...I took an unwarranted leave. Sorry about that, but I just needed the time to relax..."
Both the more senior players started to abuse him with 'welcoming' gestures when the others walked in, including Rukawa.
Noticing him entering the hall, Sakuragi greeted loudly, "Konnichi wa! Hey, kitsune!"
Rukawa halted for a moment at the sound of his voice. He stared at Sakuragi in slight bafflement. The day before, he had anticipated that the player would eventually come back to the team, but he never expected that Sakuragi would be in the total opposite of the mood he had portrayed days before.
A smile, both unpretentious yet sardonic at the same time, decorated his lips as the red head player neared his silent teammate. "Have you missed me while I was gone?" Sakuragi snickered.
What came in as a reply was a bored sigh, and a muffled 'aho' as the raven haired player proceeded to the bench, bypassing Sakuragi with the slightest acknowledgement.
However, beyond anyone's awareness, Rukawa had a little smile on his face, and it was a smile of genuine relief.
* * * *
"Ja, mata!"
Sakuragi nodded slightly to the person, "Mata, Yasuda-san!"
Everyone had already left the locker room after a labourious day of training. Left alone in the area save the company of Rukawa, still busy with his belongings, Sakuragi edged near, and stated nonchalantly,
"I do not came back on your advice. I came back because I wanted to make sure I get the proper training to beat you one of these days."
Already accustomed to him singing his own praises, Rukawa stifled a yawn, a gesture that popped a vein of irritation on the red head's smooth forehead. He continued stuffing his clothes and other essentials into a small duffel bag and pretended that he had heard nothing of the sort. Finishing the task, he then shouldered the bag and coolly went for the exit as Sakuragi slowly followed him close.
"You got a lot of nerves to project the very image of a cool, macho guy who cares for nothing but his own self. But actually inside, you're just like any other being; wanting to be cared...and to care for others."
Rukawa almost halted at the mention of this, but he resumed his pace, albeit a little slower than before. However, the next thing being said by Sakuragi totally root him to the ground,
"You do like her, don't you?"
Rukawa was tempted to look back, but he managed to absorb the shock as quickly as it had first came to his face upon hearing him part with the words. A while of silence ensued before the red head added,
"Take good care of her, alright? Because if you don't then that's when I'll come in."
From his profile, Sakuragi could sense that the person before him was quite taken aback, but being an aloof person as he is, he knew Rukawa would not turn back to let him see the astounded expression on his face. Sakuragi smiled triumphantly as the other person walked away, and he could have swear that he saw a smile on his face as the raven haired turned towards the exit.