Jackie Tyler sighed as she pottered about her empty flat making tea for one as usual. She looked out the window over the estate as she filled the kettle with water, watching birds fly serenely past the park.
As she pulled out a mug the kettle's noise covered up the sound of footsteps and it wasn't until someone knocked on the door that she went to see who was there. As she opened the door and caught sight of her only daughter the Doctor grinned.
"Hi," he said as Jackie threw her arms round Rose.
"Hi mum," Rose said weakly, not sure she could handle her mum after what she'd just been through.
"Rose, why didn't you say you were coming!" Jackie said, though Rose never knew or phoned ahead to say she was coming home.
"Just a quick visit," the Doctor said as Rose looked at him helplessly, unsure of whether to tell her mum she was seeing girls that didn't exist.
The Doctor had to put up with Rose doing the domestic thing for the next hour. Jackie wanted to know everything Rose had been up to, but Rose decided to conveniently forget to tell about why exactly they'd come back.
Later that evening when Jackie had finally learnt of their every moment from the last time they'd seen each other and Rose had calmed down Jackie went off to make something for them to eat. The Doctor smiled softly to Rose who was sat across from him.
"Alright?" He asked quietly.
"Oh yeah I'm fine," Rose said smiling back. "I can see things that don't exist and…"
She paused deciding not to finish her sentence. She shook her head still grinning.
"I'm ok," she replied.
After tea Jackie insisted they stay the night. So Rose returned to her old bedroom and the Doctor made himself comfortable in the spare room. He didn't bother getting undressed, as he knew he wouldn't sleep. He doubted whether Rose would either and sure enough at about midnight she came creeping into his room.
"Couldn't sleep?" The Doctor asked quietly, sat on the end of the bed. Rose shook her head, sitting next to him, and linking her fingers through his.
"It's so different from the TARDIS," she whispered. "I'm so used to the gentle hum and being able to hear you in the console too, it's just too quiet."
"I know," the Doctor replied, resting his cheek on the top of her head. He'd been thinking all evening about what they were going to do about Rose's apparent 'sight'. The Doctor had decided the best way was to look through her mind, see if anything had managed to worm it's way in there, but he wasn't sure how thrilled Rose would be about this idea. As if she could read his thoughts she turned to look at him.
"Any thoughts on what exactly I'm seeing?" She asked, eyes full of worry.
"I don't know until…" the Doctor paused. "There is one way I could find out what's causing it. But I need to look through your mind. Is that going to bother you?"
Rose bit her lip. It wasn't that she minded but the Doctor might not like what he found. She'd been pretty mixed up and she wasn't sure she wanted the actual Doctor running through her head when her imaginary one had been taking a mental beating.
"I won't do it, if you don't want me too," the Doctor said earnestly. He didn't want Rose to feel like she was being pressurized into it. Especially as it was so intimate.
"Do it," Rose said quietly, hoping that the Doctor wouldn't see the stuff she'd been thinking, the good or the bad.
"If there's something you don't want me to see just imagine a door ok?" The Doctor said, putting his hands on either side of Rose's head.
"Ok," she said almost inaudibly. Rose knew she wouldn't hide anything from the Doctor. She'd made it perfectly clear when he'd first regenerated that she wanted him to change back. She knew it had hurt him a lot and if he only knew… it might make up for the pain she'd caused him.
The Doctor was trying to ignore the thoughts and feelings flying around Rose's head and concentrate on the matter at hand. He couldn't find any abnormalities or alien life forms that might have crept in there on one of their adventures. He was about to give up when a particularly strong emotion swam to the front of Rose's mind, shoving everything else out the way.
Rose closed her eyes. She'd tried for so long to keep that under wraps, but she couldn't bear the pain anymore. Breathing slowly she looked at him again and bit her lip.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, standing up and leaving before the Doctor could protest. He stared at where Rose had just been sat, letting his arms fall slowly to his side.
"What for?" He asked, even though Rose was no longer there.
The next morning Jackie knew something was wrong when the Doctor and Rose were unusually quiet. As she set tea and toast down in front of the two of them she stood looking at them, hands on her hips.
"Right, what's wrong?" She asked starting to get annoyed with the pair. Sometimes she felt like banging their heads together.
"Nothing," Rose said, taking a few pieces of toast. The Doctor glanced at Jackie, then at Rose, not trusting himself to speak.
"Don't tell me 'nothing'!" Jackie scoffed. "You two never shut up normally. Something's wrong, now I don't really care what it is, but sort it or you'll both be out."
"Mum!" Rose protested looking up at her mother as if she was mad.
"Then sort it!" Jackie said not wavering. Rose gave her a very cold look before standing up and storming out. "That's your fault."
The Doctor looked up and nodded. It was true. It was all his fault. It'd been his fault since he'd grabbed her hand in the basement of a department store and told her to run. It was always going to be his fault. It would probably be his fault when she died.
"Go after her then!" Jackie said. The Doctor stood up, spurring into action. He ran after Rose, down the stairs of the block of flats and then paused. He couldn't see her anywhere, and then he heard a sob behind him. He turned to see Rose, looking at her feet, a hand covering her face.
He sighed. He hated seeing her like this, but it made it even worse to know that he was the reason she was in so much pain. Walking towards her, he put out a hand to cup her cheek, but she still didn't look up.
"Hey," the Doctor smiled softly. "Not gonna cry every time we have a conversation now are you?"
Rose just sobbed harder, reaching her arms out to hug the Doctor. It was too much to talk about, but she had to know she wasn't the only one feeling the pain. The Doctor pulled her as close as he could, breathing in her familiar scent.
"I… didn't mean…" Rose began between sobs but the Doctor made a soothing noise halfway between a sigh and a shh. She paused, unsure of how exactly he was reacting to what he'd seen, or if the Doctor had actually seen anything at all.
"It's alright," the Doctor replied. He pulled back slightly to look at her and tapped her on the nose. "Panda eyes."
Rose didn't smile, just wiped her face with the sleeve of her jacket.
"You must hate me," Rose said, sniffing slightly. "Every time we talk we end up arguing and it's all my fault."
"S'not," the Doctor replied quietly. "It's mine. I was the one who asked you to travel with me. If I hadn't asked you to come then you'd've never…"
He trailed off unsure of whether to actually say what he saw. Maybe Rose didn't know how much he'd seen. But in his hearts he knew they couldn't go on like this, all the cards needed lying out on the table.
"Fallen in love with you?" Rose asked, finishing his sentence.
"Well yeah," the Doctor said smiling wryly. "But that's not the reason we're fighting is it? It's something more, some doubt at the back of your mind that if I ever found out that you loved me, then I'd leave you. But at the same time you couldn't go on living with the man you loved when you couldn't act on your desires."
Rose nodded forlornly. The Doctor brushed some of her hair out of her face and wiped away a stray tear.
"You should no by now that that would never happen," the Doctor said, slightly confused at the fact that Rose doubted him. She never had before.
"I know," Rose said. "I'm being silly I know that you wouldn't. But it's like this nagging at the back of my mind that won't go away."
The Doctor frowned, his hand still resting on Rose's cheek. He pulled it away a little self-consciously.
"When did this start?" He asked quietly, leaning his forehead against hers and looking through her mind again.
"Not long after we came back from that planet with the wolf people," Rose said, wondering what on earth he was getting at.
"Bingo," the Doctor grinned slightly. "Am I fantastic or am I fantastic?"