Business

It was just business. Just the job, what had to be done. There was no going around it, no trying to stop it. It wasn't something with feelings or emotions. The ob could not be bartered with. It didn't respond to whining, complaining or crying. No amount of begging changed the fact that it was a job that needed to be done.

There wasn't anyway to get around it…she always knew that. The ache in her chest was just a side-effect of falling for someone with such a dangerous job. It wasn't like her job was any safer, but at least he made out like he wasn't as anxious about her as she was about him.

She couldn't help but worry about him. After all, she loved him. It was the first time she'd ever felt this way…and damn it if Remus wasn't making the best feeling she'd ever had the worst feeling she ever had. Tonks couldn't help their age difference, or their money, or his illness… but she wanted to help him. Help him with the Order, help him with his chores, help him with his lycanthropy, help him…live.

Maybe she wasn't the one people normally would've picked for him, but she knew she'd be good for him. No, great for him. She could give him the youth he lost, and the energy he never had, the vibrancy he longed for. She knew she could make him laugh out loud and without restraint; make him smile ear to ear.

It's just that he didn't think she could do it.

The pain of the rejection was hard enough when he was safe and sound and in her sight… but now he was underground, under cover and surrounded by vicious werewolves that would gladly rip him limb from limb. Everyday she was frightened, on the edge, anxious and worried that the next owl would report an untimely death at the hands of the enemy. She couldn't sleep for fear that he would die alone and in pain, tortured by Greyback or Death Eaters.

How often did she wish she could turn off her feelings? How often had she hoped that she could morph them into whatever she wished, as though they were any other part of her ever-changing body?

But feelings were not moldable like putty… they were more like a business. Or a job. They couldn't be bartered with, they didn't respond to crying or cursing…and they didn't care how much they hurt her. They just kept existing, oblivious to all else.

Fin.

A/N- very angsty, very RLNT….a bit inspired by how much I miss my boyfriend now that I'm at school, but also I wanted to get back into the genre a bit.

Please R/R!