- Chapter 7: No Faith in Constitution -

When I awoke the next morning, Nagato had prepared white rice. Period. Apparently her culinary skills now were even less advanced than they were during the adventure with the two Miss Asahinas.

Not that I was complaining. On the contrary: Since I was unable to eat anything, I could appreciate her not making anything that would make my stomach growl.

I sat on the floor across from her. "Thanks for putting me up." I smiled. "It seems like you do that a lot, huh?"

No reaction. She just continued to steadily put rice into her mouth.

"Ah... In my reality, I got stuck three years in the past with Miss Asahina, and you had to keep me in that room right there for those three years... Did that happen in this reality?"

"It did."

"I thought so." I shook my head. "Other-me really is pretty ungrateful. I mean, I guess you didn't have to save his life in this reality, but that's not much of an excuse."

Nagato, bless the ground she walks on, didn't have any comment to add. I really wished she would take the opportunity to vent her frustration with the way Other-me had been treating her in this reality. The more I thought about it, the more guilty I felt about it, even though it wasn't me who did it. I mean, it wasn't, right?

Nagato headed off to school, me beside her.

"Listen," I said. Time to get down to business. "I've got to get the world back to how it used to be somehow. Can you tell Koizumi about me, to see if he has any good ideas?"

"Yes."

"Great. We can try him during lunch break." If nothing else, he was probably my best shot at finding out where Goro Mishima was in this reality, and what he was up to. "Also, in my reality, I have a cat named Shamisen. My family doesn't seem to have him in this reality. Do you know where he's at?"

"No."

Maybe I needed a description. "He's a calico. A stray. Haruhi wanted a cat for our movie, and you found him for her."

"I have made contact with a stray male calico feline," she confirmed. "However, Haruhi Suzumiya never requested a cat."

"What?" Talk about a completely random difference between realities. "Didn't she think you needed a familiar?"

"No."

Well, that did it as far as any hope of being able to talk to Shamisen in this reality. If Haruhi didn't want a familiar, there was no reason for her to ever make Shamisen talk.

Agh, what am I thinking, anyway? Wanting to see Shamisen made sense when I was desperate to just find someone who could see and hear me, but I have Nagato now. What does it matter that Shamisen's lost in this reality? He's just a stupid cat, that's all.

When we arrived at the school, I said, "I'll just follow you to your class, okay?"

"Fine."

"I won't distract you or anything. I just want to be around someone who knows I exist."

"Understood."

It was comforting, just being around Nagato. Even if she didn't say much, I could feel that she understood what I was going through, to some extent anyway.

Funny. For so long, I'd prided myself on being able to understand Nagato better than anyone else. It never occurred to me how exceptionally well she understood me. The distance between us was the same either way you went; I was just as much an alien to her as she was an alien to me. But while I prided myself on my awkward struggles to read her facial expressions, Nagato got me with hardly any effort at all. No wonder she was her race's first choice for diplomat to the Heavenly Canopy Dominion.

Classes were very quiet, what with so many kids out sick. One of the absences had left the desk next to Nagato's empty, so I took it. The desk in front of hers was empty too, but I didn't want that one.

That ended up not making any difference. All through class, I kept wishing I would hear Haruhi saying, "Hey, Kyon", or feel her pencil poking me in the back.

Really pathetic. As if there hadn't always been days where I didn't interact with Haruhi in class. As if there weren't still hope that I could get things back to normal and have her alive again. I just had to figure out a way. Koizumi might have some ideas, and with Nagato on my side, nothing we could come up with was unachievable.

"Hey there, Miss Nagato." The girl seated behind her was leaning forward and addressing her. I recognized her from my middle school, but couldn't place her name. "Are you going to talk to us today?"

Another girl chimed in: "Yeah, talk to us. We love hearing your explanations of auto-evolution and flux data-based communication."

"Flow data-based communication," Nagato corrected, earning a round of giggles from the girls which they halfheartedly tried to suppress with hands over their mouths.

"Don't respond to them, Nagato," I said, clenching my fist in an anger that I knew was useless. "They're just teasing you."

"I know."

"What is it you know, Miss Nagato?" the first girl prodded.

"Don't respond to me, either," I sighed. "They'll think you're talking to yourself."

"I was not talking to you," Nagato said.

At first I thought this was addressed to me, but I was momentarily proven wrong. "Who were you talking to then, Miss Nagato?" the first girl asked.

"An unrooted, transient artifact of a branched plane of existence."

"Fas - cinating."

The two girls giggled again. I wished I was solid enough to – well, I guess I couldn't hit either of them, because they were girls, but I wanted to do something to make them sorry.

"How is that different from a rooted, transient artifact?" the second girl asked with mock interest.

"A rooted, transient artifact has a transdimensionally, spatially, and chronologically specific structure which allows it to return to its point of origin."

Why is Nagato going along with them like this? And telling them about paranormal stuff, especially? Even if it's doubtful they can understand any of it, that stuff is supposed to be secret. If Haruhi got wind of some of this stuff...

Then it clicked. When Nagato first told me about all the alien stuff, I asked her why she wasn't worried that I would tell Haruhi. She answered that Haruhi wouldn't take me seriously. And she was right. She was undoubtedly thinking the same thing about these girls, and was probably right about them, too.

So maybe she figured... since it wasn't affecting her mission, being teased by her classmates was better than not interacting with people at all?

Other-me had caused the SOS Brigade to disband. Without that, who was there for Nagato to talk to? Even if she rarely did anything more than sit there and read, maybe she needed that human contact? Maybe even she wanted an occasional conversation?

Or maybe she was just studying them in the way a human might study chimps.

I kept checking the clock, longing for lunch break so I could talk to Koizumi. Kind of funny how this time, he was the one I was depending on for a way out.

Hold it. Why was he the one I was depending on? Haruhi was still around, and I even knew exactly where she was this time. Why not turn to her again, after she so handily found a way out for me the first time? I was acting like she was still dead in this reality.

I didn't want to think about this anymore.

At lunch break, we went to Koizumi's classroom. Luckily, he was there, so we wouldn't have to go searching at least.

I said to Nagato: "Try to get him to meet with us privately."

"Understood."

I stuck by her side as she approached Koizumi. He was chatting quite contentedly with three friends, but even so, he noticed her right away. He was an alert guy, I had to give him that.

"Miss Nagato." He was looking at her with a veneer of cool politeness, with a definite curiosity and maybe even worry lurking underneath. "May I help you with something?"

"I wish to speak to you alone."

Two of Koizumi's companions sniggered at that. I guess I should have warned Nagato to be more subtle. From what I'd heard, girls hitting on Koizumi wasn't that uncommon, even if I didn't like to believe it.

"Is there something specific this is in regard to?" He turned the back of his head to her. "If not, now that the SOS Brigade is disbanded, I see no reason for us to further associate with each other."

...You have to be kidding me. Wasn't Other-me bad enough? Is Koizumi a cold-blooded asshole in this reality too?

"I have encountered an unrooted, transient artifact of a branched plane of existence."

Koizumi was still not facing her. Looking closer, though, he seemed almost... nervous. Maybe because his friends were already getting weirded out by the dialogue between him and Nagato, but it seemed deeper than that. He responded: "How is that of any importance to me? Or even to you?"

Nagato did not answer right away. I guess it was a tough question to answer. From their perspective – from the perspective of anyone in this reality – I was just a ghost from another world. Why should they want to give up the reality they knew, regardless of its problems, for one they didn't know? And so long as I wasn't a part of their reality, why should they care what happened to me?

But after a moment or two, she said: "It is important to him."

That was enough to make Koizumi turn and look at her.

He frowned. Then, after a moment's pause, he shrugged, and the easy smile I was familiar with spread over his face like a mask. "I suppose this may be interesting. Excuse me, will you?"

His friends gave him the go-ahead. They looked curious as to what Nagato might want with him, too. Their tough luck that they were never going to find out.

As we headed towards the SOS Brigade clubroom, Koizumi threw out, "I don't imagine it matters to you, but I apologize if I have been rude. Dealing with the situation with Miss Suzumiya has been very stressful."

I asked Nagato, "Is he talking about the argument between me and Haruhi?"

She nodded.

"And frankly," Koizumi resumed, "...I might not be so short with you if your collective were doing anything about the situation. If Miss Suzumiya were producing closed space I might consider it the purview of myself and my comrades, but you are as capable of dealing with the recent manifestations of her powers as we are."

"It is my duty to observe."

His lip curled. "Yes, you've said that." His mask was completely off now. The underlying bitterness and frustration which he had only let me see for brief moments, he wasn't concealing from Nagato at all. I wondered whether that was because he was more at odds with her, or because he trusted her more. I wanted to believe that some trace of the Koizumi who said he'd go against his own agency to protect Nagato was still there.

He entered the clubroom and took a seat at the table. Nagato remained standing, so I stood with her.

"Well?" he prompted. "What is it that this transdimensional visitor is concerned about, and how do you expect me to help?"

Nagato looked at me.

"Tell him that I want to bring my reality back," I said. "Tell him that my reality is much better than this one, and – oh, this is ridiculous." I put a hand to my head. "I wish I could just talk to him directly, instead of playing 'telephone'."

Before I could resume, Nagato turned to Koizumi and said, "He wishes to speak to you directly."

His eyebrows went up slightly. "Can you make that happen?"

"Only by upgrading your perceptions."

So Nagato can make it so that other people can see and hear me? I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It seems like she can do just about anything.

"I see." Koizumi smiled. Not the infuriatingly charming smile I was used to, but one that was sardonic and pessimistic. "That's quite the leap of trust you're asking of me, isn't it? And towards a being who has done nothing to earn my trust."

"It is his request. Not mine."

"So you say, but I only have your word for it that 'he' even exists."

"Yes." Her tone was still crystal calm and neutral. "I only convey his request. I do not expect you to comply."

"So if I say 'no', you will continue the conversation with yourself acting as an intermediary between me and our transdimensional visitor?"

She nodded.

Now that the offer had been made, I found myself crossing my fingers that Koizumi would take it. As much of a relief as it was that Nagato could see and hear me, it didn't take away from the frustration of not being able to talk to anyone else.

Koizumi tapped a finger. "So either way, this whole conversation is pointless unless I place trust in you. And even if I do, I cannot expect it to be of any help with the problem with Miss Suzumiya."

I cut in: "Tell him that's not true. Tell him I'm a Kyon from a reality where Haruhi and I get along just fine."

"What you say is not true," she obediently echoed. "The visitor is an incarnation of Haruhi Suzumiya's chosen one who claims that in his branched reality, the current problem with Haruhi Suzumiya does not exist."

"Again, I have only your word for that." He looked thoughtful for a moment, then shrugged. "Well, I doubt I could get clearance for this from my superiors, but I suppose I have no hope of getting any help from your collective unless I place trust in you at some point. And I am not in a position to willingly do without your help. You may proceed."

Nagato processed that statement in silence for a moment. "...Give me your arm."

He extended his arm towards her, and pulled up his sleeve. She took his arm, bent down, and carefully bit into him. I knew she had to be injecting nanites again, but Koizumi was apparently unfamiliar with this, watching her with obvious curiosity. No noticeable fear, though. Maybe he could see who Nagato was on the inside.

She withdrew, and Koizumi glanced up directly at me. "Well, hello. Have you been in this reality long?"

"One day," I answered. "Much too long for my tastes."

"I understand." He pulled his sleeve back up. "So what is it that you want from me, and what can I expect you to do about the situation with Miss Suzumiya in return?"

"Same thing. You don't know it, but someone stole Haruhi's power and used it to change the universe. I want to change it back. The way things were before..." I remembered the argument Haruhi and I had right before the universe changed. "...okay, Haruhi and I don't get along all that well, but she would never miss a day of school in my universe. She's happy. Plus the SOS Brigade is still together, Haruhi and Nagato are good friends, you trust Nagato enough to take a bullet for her, and I'm not a total asshole and not dating Ryoko Asakura. It's a better world all around. We have to change it back."

I had delivered my case as eloquently, as honestly, and as convincingly as I could.

The response: dead silence.

Nagato just stood there, like nothing had happened. Koizumi put a hand to his chin and looked at me thoughtfully. Like I had just made a major faux pas and he was trying to come up with a polite way to point it out.

At last he said, "I think you may have misunderstood your situation."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"It's quite simple. If the world had been altered, whether by changing a few elements or by outright destroying the old world and replacing it with a new one, this would not result in there being two Kyons. In the first case we would still have only the original Kyon, while in the second case the original Kyon would be destroyed before a second Kyon had been created."

...Oh. Right.

I wondered how a whole day had gone by without something so obvious occurring to me. "Okay," I admitted. "But there has to be some sort of explanation for my being here, and why I remember the world being different."

"There is. The world has not been altered. Rather, you are in a different world entirely from the one you know."

"What?" This was getting to be too much.

"A different dimension, in fact. Assuming, of course, that what Miss Nagato has told me about you is true."

"Dial it back." I held up a hand to ward off further absurd spiels. "If this is a different world, then how come the people and the language and everything are all the same as what I know?"

"It's what you might call an alternate dimension. According to some theories and certain observations, whenever there is an irreconcilable element of uncertainty to a decision, reality splits into multiple alternate dimensions, one for each possible choice. You have been transferred from one branch to another."

I sighed. "Pretending for a moment that I understood more than half of what you just said, how exactly did I go from my dimension to this one?"

"I don't know." He glanced at his watch. "And there isn't enough time left in lunch break for you to explain enough of your situation for me to draw any conclusions, or even educated guesses. Would you be willing to meet with me, Miss Nagato, and Miss Asahina here after class, and we can pick up the discussion then?"

"Hold on a sec. You can't just dismiss me without explaining what this big argument I'm having with Haruhi in this dimension is." By now I was pretty tired of hearing that brought up and not knowing about it.

"Interesting that that point should be so important to you." He smiled like he knew something. Damn him. "It was during the making of the SOS Brigade's movie. Miss Suzumiya spiked Miss Asahina's drink in order to get her to do a romance scene. You took exception to her treatment of Miss Asahina and argued with her. Neither of you would give any ground. I have been trying to convince you to forgive her, but to no avail. You have not attended an SOS Brigade meeting since the fight."

So... it was that.

What happened in this reality? Why didn't I go back to her and finish that unspeakably awful movie with her? Why didn't I hear what Taniguchi said, and realize -

Taniguchi.

With comprehension dawning on me, I was no longer consciously focusing on what Koizumi was saying, yet every word hit hard in my gut: "The effect has been unprecedented. We anticipated a major outbreak of closed space. There was none. Rather than becoming angry, Miss Suzumiya has fallen into a state of acute depression and isolation. With her estrangement from you, she realizes that she no longer has any real friends, and believes that she is not capable of having friends ever again."

Taniguchi. Taniguchi hasn't been my friend in this reality since I... started associating with Asakura. Was that it? Just because Taniguchi didn't give me that simple cue, I held on to that grudge for two months?

I mean, I had every reason to be angry. Haruhi was a heartless monster back then. Part of me still hates myself for just forgiving her like that, without her even pretending to be sorry.

But it was too soon to punish her that way. Sakanaka, Tsuruya, Ishigaki... she didn't become friends with any of them until later. Without any friends to fall back on, how was she supposed to keep hope, much less figure out that what she did to Miss Asahina was wrong? What the hell did I expect her to do?

"The nationwide frequency of earthquakes these past two months has been more than twice as high as usual, and the resulting tsunamis have tended towards the destructive side. Crops have been destroyed by hard frosts. The current epidemic is the first to strike North High since Miss Suzumiya was in elementary school. Though there is only circumstantial evidence to support it, an obvious hypothesis for why there were no outbreaks of illness here in the intervening years is because, according to your report, in her first year of middle school you gave Miss Suzumiya the idea of -"

"Excuse me." I stood up. "I'll see you both here after class."

I didn't wait for a reaction from either Koizumi or Nagato. I wasn't interested in one. I just strode out of the SOS Brigade clubroom, down the hall, towards classroom I-5.

I don't even know what I was thinking. I just knew I had to talk to Haruhi. I didn't think about why. I didn't even process the fact that in my current state, she wouldn't be able to hear me. I was going all on instinct.

I stepped through the door to my classroom, looked to her desk, and there she was.

Lunch break was still on, so under any ordinary conditions, she wouldn't be there. Either she had finished lunch early and came back from the cafeteria, or wherever she went, or she hadn't had lunch at all. The latter came to mind as a real possibility because she was slumped over her desk, face down, like an animal starving to death. Other-me was seated in front of her, paying her no attention whatsoever.

"Damn it, Haruhi," I muttered, striding towards her, right through the desks of our classmates. "How can you give up like this, just because I fell out with you? Can't you stand on your own two feet and move on?"

She shifted a bit, letting her arms slide away from her face, and I stopped short when I saw that face.

It wasn't a look of giving up. Not exactly. It was more like the look of someone who had decided the fight didn't matter anymore.

"Um... look, Haruhi." I suddenly felt very nervous for a guy talking to a girl who can't even hear him, but I wasn't muttering anymore. "I guess what I wanted to say is... I'm sorry I'm such an asshole in this reality."

She stirred in her seat and raised her head a pinch, like she heard me. I held my breath for a second, but she very promptly lowered her head again.

"Even if you deserved it, I shouldn't have given up on you. It was one thing to take some time away from you so I could cool down and you could at least have the chance to have a change of heart and apologize, not that you would ever actually do that. That's, uh, what I did in my reality. But to keep it up for months on end, when obviously all it's accomplishing is making you miserable... that's just a scumbag thing to do. I really like to think that I would never have done something like that in my own reality, but if Taniguchi's complaining really was the one thing that made me go back to you, well, I guess I'm sorry twice. Once for me, and once for Other-me."

I'd said it, but it didn't feel like enough. And not just because Haruhi still looked miserable. It was as though I'd somehow missed the point, even though I honestly felt that what I just said was something I needed to say.

After just a few moments of looking at Haruhi's despondent face, I realized what I had left out, and immediately wished I hadn't.

Damn it. There's no backing out of this now. "And... I'm sorry for setting up that meeting with Sasaki and Mishima." I sighed. "I told myself that if you saw me with Sasaki and her boyfriend, you would finally realize I was telling the truth when I said I don't have a crush on Sasaki, and forget about her. Obviously, it just did the opposite. And a person with half my brains could have predicted that.

"So... I don't know what I was thinking. I know that's pretty lame, that if I'm going to do something so stupid I should at least have an explanation, but I don't." I awkwardly scratched the back of my head. "Maybe it's just that you and I haven't had a real fight for a while, and I... I was afraid of what we might do if we stopped fighting.

"I like the way things are between us. I didn't want them to change, even for the better. I know that's idiotic. I'm sorry.

"If I hadn't hatched that stupid plan... you wouldn't have died in my reality." I had to pause there. My chest was feeling tight. "And I wouldn't be left with my last memory of you being a fight.

"A fight over a stupid, pointless scheme and my stupid, baseless insecurities." A bitter laugh rattled out of my throat. "I didn't even believe you when you said you didn't care about my history with Sasaki. I mean, in this reality you were more concerned about the duel with the Computer Club than about me dating Asakura, so it shouldn't take a genius to see where your values are."

I'd been a fool. I really had. And Haruhi was the one who had paid the price.

"I'm sorry, Haruhi," I said again. "I'm sorry I wasn't satisfied with just having you over my house and hanging out. I'm sorry I walked you right into a trap. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from Kuyoh Suoh." Haruhi was idling tracing imaginary circles on her desk with her index finger. "If you can hear me somehow, I only hope you can forgive me."

"Hmm," she said. "You know, I never would have thought you could make such a nice apology. You can congratulate yourself on surprising me."