Chapter 8: Clashes all around!

It was a quiet day in the Sea of Second Chances. The Cutty Sark crew had decided to dock at a Resort Island. An actual Resort…not the umpteenth 'Honey Trap'.

Anyway, they'd scattered about to whatever caught their eye.

Halibel had instantly headed to the local restaurant, Kisame and Jinbe in tow. It looked very nice. The drinks were satisfying…but then it all went downhill.

"Yes, we'd like 2 God-Sized Crab Leg Entrées," Halibel pointed to herself and Kisame.

"Uhh…" the poor server stumbled. "So sorry, we've…just run out of the crab legs…if you…"

CRUNCH-CRUNCH-CRUNCH!

Slowly, the couple's heads turned, more like an owl than their shark namesake.

Their eyes went wide and bloodshot at this visual insult.

There…sat the most loathsome creature, devouring their precious shellfish. He was big and tall, taking up two seats. That black and white colored pattern, that curved dorsal fin on his back, that rounded jaw with pointy teeth, those beady eyes…those drove the couple red with rage!

As if possessed, Kisame and Halibel got up and made their way back.

Jinbe inhaled deeply and shook his head.

Hearing all this, the stranger looked up. He smirked.

"Oh…you're approaching me?" He stood up as well. "Instead of retreating as you sharks should, you dare challenge me?"

"We can't beat the crab out of you without getting closer," Kisame growled and cracked his knuckles.

"Hmhmhmhmhm," Gang Orca chuckled. "Then by all means…take a bite."

"Don't you know…when it comes to crab," Halibel LUNGED! "It's always LADIES FIRST!"

"Nope, nope, nope…putting the stop in this."

Jinbe immediately grabbed the three prospective fighters by the back, and chucked them all out an open window.

"CRISH! MY CABBAGES!"

"Now," Jinbe sat back down. "How about that 'Luffy-Sized' Fruit Bowl?"

OoOoOoO

The Shireen had made it to another island, and they could hear the clashes of battle.

"Shall we?" Ace shot a cocky grin while his legs turned to fire.

"Very well," Itachi seemed to sigh as he leapt in pursuit.

"They do know we can't fly, right?" Shoto raised an eyebrow.

The others shrugged.

Farther in, Ace caught sight of a charging horde of Samebito.

Sighing, he prepped his signature move.

"FIRE FIST!"

And that was that group taken care of. He was just about turn to another group…

"Cero," an incredibly bored voice intoned.

"VWHOOM!" A ridiculously large beam of glowing blue energy carved through the mass of creatures, leaving a single mass left.

"THUNDER BAGURA!"

"Thunder WHAT?!" Ace exclaimed.

And that shockwave took care of the rest of the Samebitos.

'Wait a minute' the Pirate's legs turned back to normal as he made landfall.

Then, big orange eyes widened and shimmered at the sight of Ace. They belonged to someone incredibly tall, wielding a studded Kanabo with well-toned arms. The two horns and long white hair with teal ends turned and swayed.

The Flame-Flame user then began to quietly laugh.

"Hey Yamato."

"ACE!"

Almost 9 feet of gorgeous muscle was now charging right at Ace. There wasn't even enough time for an 'Uh-Oh' before Yamato crashed into him.

"ACE! I…I…I…!" Yamato couldn't even finish as he lifted and shoved Ace's head into his cleavage. He took a deep breath. "Let's sail together! Just like we promised!"

Itachi had finally caught up.

"Huh…you seem nice," the Uchiha decided.

"Oh," another voice joined in. Itachi looked around, only to see a scruffy-looking Arrancar laying flat on the ground, another girl with short green hair sitting on him.

"Yamato found his friend…that's nice…Zzzzzzz!"

Lilinette just rolled her eyes at Starrk.

OoOoOoO

"WWWHOOOOMMM!"

The earth itself was shaking. Storm clouds had rolled in. Fires raged throughout the land. The surrounding sea was churning and roiling.

Half a dozen islands had already been destroyed. Two utter nightmares were clashing.

Both were arguably the most infamous names of their entire worlds.

From the right, the mightiest of the most elite Ninja Clan. The man who'd brought Tailed Beasts to heel. He who'd fought 10,000 Ninja and slaughtered them all in a matter of minutes. He who'd defied the natural cycle of life and death. He who'd achieved power that mortals couldn't even conceive. He who'd orchestrated the most devastating war in his world's history.

Madara Uchiha.

From the left, Soul Society's greatest traitor. Arguably, the most evil Soul Reaper to have ever bedeviled the realms of his dimension. He who'd shattered the barrier between races. He who'd brought a millennium-old system to the brink. He who'd made child's play of defeating the best of his world. He who'd schemed and plotted for centuries to stand above all.

Sōsuke Aizen.

"Hmhmhmhm," the Soul Reaper chuckled, Kyoka Suigetsu drawn. "I must say, it's a delight that you live up to your reputation. So many generations of Ninja, living in utter terror of your mere name."

"The same could be said of you," the Uchiha smirked, his Gunbai resting on his shoulder. "Many a Soul Reaper and Hollow would say you're the strongest being they've met. I'm glad those lowlifes actually had a point."

To the naked eye, it would seem both fighters vanished. However, both were moving so fast, and with such strength, that sonic booms resonated from every single blow, craters being blasted apart whenever one got too close to the ground.

The abilities were shown seamlessly. A Fire Jutsu blocked by a Barrier Kido. A lightning Hado being diverted by a Wind Jutsu. Madara substituting out of the way. Aizen leaping and skidding backwards across the sky.

"HADO #90! KUROHITSUGI!"

Madara shielded himself just in time with a Perfect Susanōō!

A mighty swing cleaved the Soul Reaper Spell…along with every mountain and mast within 100 miles!

"HADO #99: GORYŪTENMETSU!"

The pure Reishi Dragon constructs charged, hoping to restrain the Susanōō's legs.

"WOOD STYLE: GREAT FOREST GOLEM!"

A mighty Chakra construct, made from the element of life itself, grew to half the Susanōō's size and began pinning the dragons down.

Satisfied, Madara turned away from the Dragons, only to notice Aizen had completely vanished.

"Che, RELEASE!"

With the sound of shattered glass echoing in the Ninja's mind, he saw Aizen had moved right behind him, Zanpakuto drawn back.

Unfortunately, Aizen had transformed, glowing as pure white wings appeared behind him.

"WHOOSH!"

And the swing of the blade carved the Susanōō open!

"GAH!" And Aizen had finally drawn blood.

"My heart's pounding! I can taste my own blood! I LOVE IT!" Madara laughed like the maniac he was, and he locked eyes with Aizen.

Suddenly, a thousand Madara appeared around Aizen, and charged.

One by one, Aizen cleaved through them. Through an arm there. Half a head there.

"He's not even slowed down…wait a minute," Aizen checked his own condition, while also noticing no wound on any of the Madara. "My senses feel strange…THAT'S IT!"

With sheer effort, Aizen released a pulse of his own Reishi…fashioning it as a sort of reset on his senses.

All but one of the Madara vanished.

"Impressive…despite not being formally educated in Genjutsu, you've managed to form your own crude version of 'Release' after a single encounter…most impressive," Madara sounded genuinely sincere.

"And for someone else to actually catch me in an illusion…" Aizen sighed. It'd been a long time since someone earned genuine respect form him so quickly. "If only you'd been in Soul Society…we'd have been unstoppable together."

"Perhaps…and perhaps you'd have been a better companion than that malignant ooze Zetsu," Madara replied with a twisted smile. "Regardless…can we really end this without knowing who's REALLY stronger?"

"No," Aizen shook his head. "You're right."

The Soul Reaper charged, only for his wrist to be grabbed. Then, he faltered.

"What is this?!"

Madara's eyes had changed, going from the red-swirling pupils…to a ringed purple.

"So…this is your type of Chakra…it's INVIGORATING!"

Using the taken energy, Madara reshaped himself into something resembling his old Ten-Tails Jinchūriki form.

Surprisingly, Aizen smirked. "Excellent, I'd have hated to end you without seeing at least one transformation!"

"Glad to oblige!" Madara kicked Aizen away in the chest.

"LET'S END THIS!" Madara and Aizen both roared and charged forward.

With any other opponent, both wouldn't have hesitated with duplicitous tactics like Kyoka Suigetsu or Shinobi-style deception. But now, both had this great urge to prove themself to the other. To truly test the might of the other, not end it with a metaphorical dagger to the back.

"YAH!" They struck as one. Both their hearts were obliterated, along with half their chests.

So much energy had been expended in the blows, that neither had enough to heal.

They fell backwards.

"Good *cough* fight," Madara's Sharingan began to close.

"Pleasure *hack* to meet you," Aizen smiled as he did the same.

"Whoomp!" Both…had fallen.

As they passed, neither noticed the single living soul left on the island, so engrossed were they in each other's might.

"Oh…oh my Goda…that was insanity," Buggy the Clown crawled out from the dirt in the deepest crater. "Those two could've eaten the Yonko for BREAKFAST!" The statement mostly came from a place of sheer adrenaline, but there was truth to it.

Buggy tried to get his breathing under control…as he SLOWLY inched towards the utter nightmares that had destroyed each other. He took out a dagger, which felt all the smaller in comparison to their mighty swings.

Arms shaking and legs trembling, Buggy stretched out. Eyes closed as sweat cascaded down.

"Poke! Poke!"

A tiny bit of blood stained the dagger…but neither Madara nor Aizen reacted.

"Oh…they're really dead…hehe…" Buggy slowly got his swagger back.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Buggy lost all restraint! "I'M ALIVE! HALLELUJAH!"

"CAPTAIN BUGGY!"

"Huh?! Didn't realize they'd finally made it!"

"CAPTAIN BUGGY!" His new crew paused. The Ninjas and Soul Reapers were especially stunned, instantly recognizing the two dead men.

"You…beat Madara."

"Aizen…he's really gone…"

"…huh?" Buggy paused, and turned to his dagger, belatedly realizing what it looked like.

"Umm…yes," he squeaked before clearing his throat. "I mean YES! Stick with me, and ALL our enemies will suffer the same fate!"

"CAPTAIN BUGGY! CAPTAIN BUGGY! CAPTAIN BUGGY!"

(One Week Later)

"CAPTAIN BUGGY D. CLOWN DESTROYS MADARA UCHIHA AND SŌSUKE AIZEN!"

A certain crew looked at the headline.

"What…" Luffy started

"…the…" Naruto added

"Fucking…"Ichigo continued.

"HELL?!" they all finished.

A.N. So…apologies for the absence. Failed spring semester, so I made it up over the summer. Also, I quit the retail job I'd had for 4 years…and am now a full-time student teacher. So yeah, been crazy. Hopefully, the more consistent schedule will be good for me and the fics.

Hopefully, writing some silliness and a fight again will get my head back into gear.

On a lighter note…did I just seriously create a verse where people actually believe MADARA 'METEOR-DROPPING' UCHIHA and SŌSUKE 'REJECT YOUR REALITY' AIZEN were taken down by BUGGY D. CLOWN?! Yes…yes, I did. Have fun with that! But in all seriousness, when it comes to Madara and Aizen down the line, it'll be more epic than that when they go down.