- Chapter 12: Instrumental Break -

"Hmm." Haruhi was frowning with a mixture of scholarly interest and extreme dissatisfaction. "So basically, the alternate me has used her powers to go to a world of her subconscious so that she can destroy this world and rebuild it the way she likes it?"

"That is the essence of the problem, yes," Koizumi nodded.

"Your powers are nothing but trouble," I commented. "They're the cause of the epidemic that's hit North High in this world, and all the earthquakes and stuff that have been popping up."

Koizumi frowned at me. "Actually, it's the reverse. It is Miss Suzumiya's powers which prevented the epidemics and earthquakes in your dimension."

"What?" I learned across the seat towards Koizumi – much to Haruhi's irritation, since she had the middle seat. Nothing she could do about it, though, being a ghost. And she had insisted on being in the center. "If that's some kind of joke..."

"I am quite serious." I wondered what Arakawa, who was driving the car, made of Koizumi having a conversation with two people who he couldn't see or hear. "We didn't realize it before, but after you and Miss Suzumiya split up, our people took a hard look at the figures and realized that rather than hitting new highs, the frequency of natural disasters was returning to the normal levels exhibited before Miss Suzumiya's first day at North High."

"Couldn't that be coincidence?"

"Of course, but it would have to be a massive coincidence for every single disaster studied to dip in frequency during the time you were getting along with Miss Suzumiya."

"Huh?" Haruhi looked baffled. "What could he have to do with it?"

"He's teasing," I said before Koizumi could answer her. "What he's really saying is because you had the SOS Brigade during that time, you were happy, so you subconsciously used your powers to prevent those disasters."

"Oh, I see. Yeah, that makes sense." She leaned back in her seat. "I have to say, though, the alternate me is pretty stupid for letting the SOS Brigade break up and trying to destroy the world just because the alternate you turned against her. So how do we stop her?"

"I'm not certain that we can," Koizumi said. "No normal human can enter closed space on their own, and the last time this happened it took all of our effort just to allow me to break into it for a few moments." He put the fingertips of one hand to his brow, as though delicately handling his brain. "However, you two are an unknown factor. Perhaps your lack of substance will allow you to slip past the boundaries Miss Suzumiya has erected, much like a traditional ghost could simply walk into even the most high security locations."

"And then what?" I said. "How are we supposed to convince her not to destroy the world?" And don't say "The same way you did the first time", because ghosts can't do that.

"I leave that to you. Your instincts with regard to Miss Suzumiya have always been good, and she of course understands herself better than I do."

Like hell she does. Haruhi understands herself less than any other person on the planet, and it's not like the rest of humanity scores great on the self-awareness scale. You're depending entirely on me, as usual, and covering up that fact so you won't offend Haruhi.

Haruhi didn't look moved by the flattery, either. She was scowling. "I don't like this. Our big adventure as ghosts in an alternate universe is talking my stupid alternate self out of destroying the world? Where's the action? The ghostly spying? The villains?"

"That is an excellent question," Koizumi remarked. "Since Mishima, Kuyoh Suoh, and their slider ally sent you here, they must have also alerted their counterparts in this dimension about what they were doing. Why, then, have they seemingly taken no steps to ensure that you remain in this dimension?"

"They probably figure we have no chance at getting back anyway," I said.

"That is not impossible, but it is unlike Mishima to unnecessarily risk his own plan going awry. Could it be that entrapping you here is only a part of their plan? Or even not a part of their plan at all?"

"You think they might have sent us here by accident?"

"No." He chuckled at that. "I mean they may have brought you here for a reason other than simply getting rid of you. Suppose they foresaw our current crisis, and concluded that the only ones who might stop Miss Suzumiya from destroying the world are versions of you two brought over from another dimension?"

"That's ridiculous. If Haruhi goes through with this, it would only destroy this dimension, right? Why would Goro Mishima and Kuyoh Suoh care what happens to another dimension?"

"They wouldn't. But the slider would."

I hated to admit it, but that made some sense.

"Who cares?" Haruhi spat. "Either way, no matter what the situation, no matter what the odds, the SOS Brigade has to save the world, right? Even if it's an alternate world in a dream."

There was really nothing either of us could say to that.

Haruhi glanced at me. "What are you smiling at?" she snapped.

I didn't stop smiling. "I just forgot how much I like your simple-minded approach to things."

"Hmmph. Who are you to call anyone simple-minded?"

Yeah, I didn't call Haruhi herself simple-minded. She was bright enough to bump me up a letter grade or two with her tutoring. It was her approach to life that was simple. She was focused, idealistic, and she didn't tolerate complications. That's why she needed the rest of us in the SOS Brigade, to keep her from steering the ship right into an iceberg. But it's also why we needed her to keep the ship moving at all.

Something bothered me, though. The idea of Mishima using Haruhi and me as tools to save this world... Didn't it make sense for Koizumi to be doing the same thing? When I first came to him, he showed no interest in helping someone who was just a ghost from another world. What changed his mind? Maybe he'd already guessed that Haruhi and I might be the one hope of saving this world from destruction. And after we saved it, then what? Would Koizumi have any reason to continue helping us?

I wished we had Nagato with us. The car didn't have enough seats, and Nagato had elected to stay behind for fear that the changing consensus of the data entities might end up with ordering her to stop us. But right now, I trusted Nagato more than Koizumi. I mean, I always trusted Nagato more than Koizumi, but the gap in trust was much wider now than in the universe I came from.

Miss Asahina had begged to stay behind, too. I think she still was a bit squeamish about interacting with ghosts.

The car came to a stop, and I looked out the window. "...You can't be serious."

"The Tsuruyas have been informed of our coming," Koizumi said.

"So this closed space is centered on the place where Haruhi and I argued with each other? If that's what is making your Haruhi want to blow up the world, why didn't she do this before?"

"You're jumping to conclusions. All this means is that Miss Suzumiya recognizes her fight with you as the primary root of her displeasure with this world." He smiled. "It may not even mean that. It could just be the first location that popped into her head."

The temptation to sock Koizumi in the jaw was more aggravating than ever before. Because I knew all that would do was amuse him when my fist passed harmlessly through his smug face. "Give me a straight answer for once. Why did Haruhi decide to do this just now?"

"Hmm. You're expecting a single, discrete event which convinced Miss Suzumiya to blow up the world?" He shook his head. "She is not as impulsive as you think her to be. She is doing this because she has lost you, and through you, the SOS Brigade. For the past couple months she has held onto the belief that she can make you return to her. Her taking action now indicates that she has given up on that belief."

Koizumi opened his door and stepped out of the car, Haruhi and I following him.

"As I said before, I can't recommend a specific course of action, but I do know this: Unless you restore that belief to her, you cannot convince her to stay her hand."

"Ugh, how pathetic." Haruhi folded her arms. "So alternate me gives up on the whole world just because she can't have this sad excuse for a minion? She doesn't deserve the name Haruhi Suzumiya!"

"Maybe in this universe, you care about this sad excuse for a minion for some reason," I retorted.

"What are you talking about? I care about you in our universe, too." She jerked her face away from me. "I'm just saying that there are a lot of worthwhile things in this world besides you, you know?"

"...I can completely agree with that."

We entered the Tsuruya mansion and approached the room where Haruhi and I had fought. It had been a while since I was here last. Ordinarily this was a friendly, welcoming place, a haven even, but under the present circumstances I felt a little sick about it. Haruhi was right; this wasn't a fun adventure.

"Here." Koizumi reached out and touched the barrier of the closed space, making the ripples of air appear. "I cannot take your hand and personally bring you into the closed space this time, since you have no physical substance for me to grab onto, but perhaps if I stimulate the entrance as you step over it, you will interface with closed space rather than the physical realm when you pass through here."

"And if it doesn't work...?" I prodded.

"You'll step over the entrance exactly as if it weren't there at all. I assure you, there are no risks here."

I didn't trust Other-Koizumi about that, not for a second. But it's not like we had an alternative. Like Haruhi said, we had to save this world.

"Let's go!" Haruhi darted past us both into the rippling barrier, and vanished. As usual, pausing to reflect on risks and consequences was completely optional for her.

And as usual, following her into the jaws of danger was completely mandatory for me. "Haruhi!" I shouted after her, and ran into the gateway Koizumi had opened for us.

As soon as I stepped through, I was once more in the heavy atmosphere of closed space. Tsuruya's house was pitched in that dull, menacing grey.

I spotted Haruhi. She was looking around with a decidedly disturbed expression. "This looks familiar," she muttered.

Oh, right. Haruhi had been inside closed space once before, even if she thought it was a dream. Just like she thought what was happening now was a dream. I had to change the subject. This was no time for her to be pondering the significance of recurring dreams.

"Come on, we've got to find the other you." I headed out into the hall without waiting for a response, knowing she'd follow.

Our first destination was naturally the room where we filmed the romance scene, where Haruhi and I our fought. But when we got there and poked our heads in, it was empty. That gave me a sinking feeling. Sure, there was no real reason to think Haruhi would hole herself up in this room, but it was now occurring to me that we only had Other-Koizumi's word for it that Haruhi was here at all. Maybe this was just a normal closed space, and he had us trapped inside it.

But what could he gain from that? I pushed my misgivings aside and moved further down the hall. If the alternate Haruhi was here, we were going to find her.

"For a world created by my subconscious, this place is pretty boring," Haruhi commented. "You'd think there would be a few of my greatest fears tucked away in here."

You seriously want to run into your own worst fears?

"Mmm. That's why horror movies are so popular, isn't it? Some of my darkest desires would be cool, too."

"Hold up." I stopped. "I think I heard something."

It was coming from...

I stepped off into the kitchen. Or at any rate, a kitchen. A place like Tsuruya's probably had several.

There was Other-Haruhi, seated on the floor, hugging her legs.

"Did you find her?"

I held a hand up in hopes that might silence Haruhi. "Yeah. Listen, let me talk to her first."

"Huh? It's me."

Exactly. There's no telling how Haruhi – especially this world's Haruhi – might react to meeting a doppelganger.

"Just give me a minute. You can wait that long, can't you?"

"Who's there?" The voice came from Other-Haruhi's direction. She shot to her feet, and her eyes met mine. "Huh? Kyon? What are you doing here?"

I stepped towards her, offering her a light, weary smile. "What else? Looking for you."

"But... I mean..." She looked all around her, clearly very confused. "There's some kind of invisible barrier around this whole mansion. How did you get in?"

"I just walked in." Technically, that was true. Anyway, there wasn't time to explain the ins-and-outs of closed space to Haruhi twice in one day. "Come on, let's get out of here and back to the regular world. Everyone's been missing you."

"Wait a minute." She was now frowning at me. "Why did you suddenly start talking to me again?"

"Well, I..." I shrugged helplessly, and told another half-truth. "I missed you. I want to talk to you again, and have fun adventures with the SOS Brigade again."

"Hmmph. Well, it's about time you saw the light."

Please, grant me patience.

"But you still have to apologize."

"Apologize?"

"Don't play dumb! You have to apologize for what you did the last time we were in this house! Apologize for challenging my orders and defying my authority!"

For a moment I just stood there, very likely with my jaw hanging open a bit, my brain trying to process the shock just delivered to it. Not that what I'd just heard was in any way surprising. You would have to have known Haruhi for a lot less time than I did to be surprised by a demand like that. But it was like opening up a porn book: just because you expected to see huge naked breasts didn't mean your eyes wouldn't bug out when you saw them. ...Alright, that may be a dumb analogy coming from a guy who's never gotten his hands on a porn book, but you understand what I'm saying, right?

At last I managed: "...You're joking, right?"

This was, of course, absolutely the wrong thing to say. Haruhi's eyes flared. "You think this a joke? The sacred authority on which the SOS Brigade is founded is just a joke to you?"

"No, just the idea of me apologizing for -"

She didn't even let me finish my witty comeback. "You are to apologize, right now, and mean it – or you can forget about ever being allowed back into the SOS Brigade!"

Now, I was aware that Haruhi, at that very moment, had her hand poised to destroy the world. I was aware that she lacked the maturity to make the right decision if I pissed her off.

I was extra aware of this because, through a window behind where Haruhi stood, I spotted a Celestial outside, as though summoned by her anger and awaiting her order to smash the proud Tsuruya mansion into a mound of splinters.

But even with that knowledge, I don't know what I would have done if the Haruhi from my world hadn't stepped in front of me at that moment and said, "Okay, let me save us all a whole lot of time here. This idiot is never going to apologize for what he did here, so you might as well give up on that and just let him back in the SOS Brigade."

"Hu... huh?" Other-Haruhi took a step back. "You're... me?"

"Dammit, Haruhi." I knew it was useless, but I threw her the best scowl I could to communicate the message that she had possibly just doomed this world, and us with it. "I told you to let me handle this."

"Yeah, and you obviously weren't handling it very well, were you?" she shot back. "So let your brigade chief take over!"

While she was distracted with me, Other-Haruhi reached a tentative finger towards her, giving her an exploratory poke like one might give to a strange and unfamiliar insect. The finger passed right through her.

"Huh." Rather than looking puzzled, Other-Haruhi was now gently smiling with illumination. Behind her, I could see the Celestial loitering, undecided. "You're not entirely here. That means I'm the real me, and either you're some sort of doppelganger, or this is a dream."

"Or both," I threw in.

"Shut up," my Haruhi said, and turned to focus her attention solely on her other self. "That's right, you're having an interesting dream. And when you wake up, you're going to have some good advice for getting Kyon to rejoin the SOS Brigade!"

"Wha - at?" Other-Haruhi recoiled. "I don't want Kyon back in the SOS Brigade!"

"Don't be stupid. Of course you want him back."

"You can't tell me what I want!" Her face was already red with fury. "Kyon's a traitor, and if he won't even apologize for that, then I don't want him back!"

"Ugh, you're being ridiculous. Sure, Kyon can be aggravating, and lazy, and tactless..."

Says the girl who is listing a guy's supposed faults while he's standing right there.

"...and sometimes even inconsiderate, but he thinks for himself, and he's stood by you right from the beginning." Other-Haruhi opened her mouth to interject, but Haruhi just kept going: "And don't try to lie to me. I'm you, remember? I know the truth. You want him back; you just think that if you hold out long enough he'll apologize. Well, he won't."

Other-Haruhi folded her arms. "If he won't do that, then he's still a traitor, isn't he?"

"Arrgh, why do you keep playing stupid?! He's not a traitor, he's just stubborn!"

"Well, I'm teaching him to not be so stubborn."

"Aaaaaah!" Haruhi clenched her fists to her forehead. "You're impossible!"

I couldn't stop myself from smiling. "Now you see what it's like for me when I have to argue with you."

"Huh?" She blinked. "What are you talking about? She's a bull-headed idiot who won't even admit how she feels inside her own dream! She's nothing like me!"

Still smiling. We're both lucky I'm managing not to laugh. "Look, how about you tag me in for a minute."

"Fine. See how you like trying to reason with a brick wall."

I looked towards Other-Haruhi. "Okay, Haruhi, I admit that I've been an asshole lately."

"Yeah." Other-Haruhi looked at me with half-lidded eyes, like I was a cat that had just come home after two weeks with fleas all over himself. "So why don't you just apologize?"

Dealing with a real one-track mind here. "Well, since you don't want me back unless I apologize, and I'm not going to apologize, it's obvious what you need to do to keep the SOS Brigade going, right? Just recruit someone else."

She blinked. "What?"

"The SOS Brigade needs five members, right? So just recruit someone new. Then you'll have five members, and you can continue on without me."

"Are you crazy? I can't replace you!"

...You have to be kidding me. "Two seconds ago you said you said you didn't want me back in the SOS Brigade."

"Not wanting you to come back and replacing you are two completely different things! I don't just shuffle off brigade members like bass players in a rock band!"

That's pretty insensitive. ...Oh, wait, if I quit the SOS Brigade during filming of the movie, then I was already gone when she started the band. I never became their bass player.

I guess I took a second too long to respond, because my Haruhi cut in, "That's ridiculous. You're just afraid that if you replace him, he'll never come back to the SOS Brigade." She adjusted her sash a bit more snugly around her neck. "But it's actually the reverse. If you replace him, and go on with the Brigade as normal, he'll get jealous and want to come back."

"That's a stupid idea. Kyon never made any effort at anything with the SOS Brigade. He wouldn't even bother fighting for his spot in the group."

"Yes, I would," I said. "Maybe I haven't done much to show it to you, Haruhi, but the SOS Brigade is very important to me. I might not be making an effort for it right now, but if you give my spot away to someone else, I guarantee I'll want it back." I drew a sigh, and admitted (this is to save the world, damn it), "I know what I have once I lose it."

Haruhi gave me a side glance. "Hrmm. You say that like you're talking from experience."

"Please don't ask."

Other-Haruhi was now scrutinizing the two of us strangely. "What's the deal with that sash?"

My Haruhi blinked. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"I've never had a sash like that. If I'm dreaming about a copy of myself having one, there must be some meaning behind it."

She shrugged. "It's just a sash. Kyon bought it for me."

"...Heh. I bet it would wipe that stupid smile right off Asakura's face if she found out about that."

I feel like we're getting off track here.

Haruhi returned her sly grin. "Well, why not try it?"

"Because I don't have a sash from Kyon in real life." Other-Haruhi sounded annoyed that her dream counterpart apparently wasn't aware of this fact.

"Well, duh. After you get him to rejoin the SOS Brigade, just call one of your penalties due and make him buy you one."

"Just that simple, huh?" She snorted. "It's a nice fantasy, but Kyon would never buy me anything that might get him in trouble with his girlfriend. He's just too faithful."

"Oh, he's faithful, all right. But to her?" She echoed Other-Haruhi's snort. "Even Kyon's not stupid enough to totally give his heart away to someone like Asakura."

Well, thank you. As trivial as the current discussion seemed, I noticed that the Celestial was now turning and wandering off, like a maid who had just wandered into a room, found it was already clean, and was heading off to the next one.

"You must have noticed. Think about it. Think about all the times he's talked about her, and all the times you've seen them together. Do you really think he's that stuck on her?"

"How should I know? I don't know anything about that romantic stuff!"

Anybody who's seen the romance parts of the SOS Brigade's movie could tell that.

"All I know is that Kyon's still mad about what I did here, and no matter how badly he wants to go back to the SOS Brigade, he's never, ever going to forgive me for it!"

That outburst him me like a bullet train. Two seconds ago it seemed like Other-Haruhi was willing to be convinced that she could go back to the real world and make Asakura boil over with jealousy. Now she looked on the verge of tears of despair.

She hid her face from us. "I can wish for him to come back and listen to me like he did before, and even buy me a sash and dump his nosy girlfriend, but it's all just a dream! When I wake up from this, he's just going to hate me like he has ever since I told him Mikuru is my toy!"

I swallowed. "Haruhi..."

"What?!"

"What if..." My mind raced. "What if this isn't just your dream? What if I'm the real Kyon, dreaming about getting back together with you, telling you that I do forgive you, and I'm just stubbornly holding out for an apology, like you?"

"Two people can't share a dream! That's just stupid!"

"How is that any more stupid than aliens, espers, time travelers, and sliders?"

My Haruhi threw in, "Besides, if it is just your dream, then why would you dream about the two of us both telling you that Kyon's just being stubborn and you can get him back into the SOS Brigade if you just recruit the right replacement, unless you still believed that was true? Are you just going to sit here and declare defeat while victory is still possible? That's not how the leader of the SOS Brigade should act! That's cowardice and defeatism! That's giving up the prize because you're afraid to fight for it! No matter how hard it is, Haruhi Suzumiya has to fight for what she wants! That's -"

"Alright, alright!" Other-Haruhi yelled. "I'll think about -"

And just like that, she disappeared.

It was like someone had changed the channel. Mid-argument, with no transition whatsoever, the alternate Haruhi was gone, and the mansion had returned to the full color of normal space.

"Huh," Haruhi said. "It looks like we've saved the world."

"...Yeah."

It actually did feel pretty good, even if it was an alternate world we'd saved. But I couldn't think of anything to say about it.

She worked her mouth a bit. "That was a good idea you had, suggesting that she get a replacement for you."

"I... Thank you." Had I heard her correctly? On the face of it, that was a joke at my expense, an insult really, but I could swear that from how she said it that she meant it as a sincere compliment. It figured that my first real compliment from Haruhi was for an idea I'd taken from Koizumi. "I don't know that she would have bought it, though, if you hadn't made that suggestion about the sash, and everything."

"Probably not. We make a pretty good team, don't we?" She smiled at me.

Her first experience in saving the world must have put her in a good mood. I smiled back at her. I wasn't so sure that we really did make a good team, though I couldn't deny that I didn't manage very well without her, and certainly she needed someone with common sense to keep the amount of trouble she got into down to a manageable level. But if it got her to smile like that at me, I wasn't going to find fault with it.

"Ah, there you are." I spun around at Koizumi's familiar voice. He had just stepped into the room, but I wondered if he had been just standing outside, listening. I'd been careless. "A job well done, it would seem. I thank you. Unfortunately, another serious problem has already showed its face."

"What is it now?"

"I think you had better hear it directly from Miss Nagato, so that there can be no question of my transmitting the information... incorrectly. Miss Nagato, if you would?"

He extended an invitational arm, and Nagato stepped into the room, carrying Shamisen with her two arms forming a platform for him to recline on. She looked at me, just staring for a moment. Ordinarily I wouldn't mind that, but with Haruhi standing right there, it made me rather uncomfortable. I could almost hear her wondering to herself why Nagato was so suspiciously focused on me.

Then Nagato said: "A new consensus has been formed."

"...Okay," I said.

There was an awkward pause.

"Um... aren't you going to elaborate? Why the new consensus?"

"It was not expected that an unrooted, transient artifact of the Haruhi Suzumiya belonging to a branched plane of existence would still be able to manifest her powers. When she used them on Ryoko Asakura, deliberation was held over how much of a threat this posed. Then, when Haruhi Suzumiya entered the closed space of this plane of existence, that was no longer a matter of speculation. By entering that closed space, and bringing you into it as well, her powers interfaced with those of the Haruhi Suzumiya of this plane of existence."

"What? Hold up."

"Hmm," Haruhi said. "Yuki, are you saying that I used my powers to get us into closed space?"

Nagato nodded. "You could never have entered closed space without doing so."

Wait. So, did Nagato know that ahead of time?

"I see." Haruhi fiddled with her sash. "So, why is that a problem?"

"If your powers can interface with those of the Haruhi Suzumiya of this plane of existence, they can also conflict with them. The consequences of such a conflict are undocumented, but there is a high possibility of the destruction of this entire plane of existence and every nearby branch, including your point of origin."

...Good grief.

"Okay," Haruhi said, as if she'd just been warned about nothing more serious than a rainstorm. "So I'd better be careful how I use my powers, huh?"

"That is not a sufficient assurance. The consensus is to remove you from this plane of existence as swiftly as possible, to avert any further interaction between your power and that of this plane's Haruhi Suzumiya."

"Isn't that what we've been working on? No offense, Yuki, but I don't want to stay in this world any longer than I have to!"

"That is also not a sufficient assurance. Your route back to your plane of existence has not been established with certainty. A contingency plan is required, and has been instated."

"What contingency plan?" I asked, already getting a bad feeling from Nagato's tone.

"The Haruhi Suzumiya present in this room has been granted 48 hours to return to her own plane of existence. If she has not departed from this plane of existence by that time..." Nagato's eyes averted from us. "Every humanoid interface, myself included, will take action to discorporate her essence."