Genre: Crack/Angst and please don't ask how it's possible
Rating: PG-13/R (for adult themes and situations)
Word count: 2307
Summary: Something, Naruto thinks, no one knows. Something, Sasuke doesn't want to remember. Something that had happened before they met for the first time after Sasuke's betrayal… and yet something, involving both of them.
A/N: I started writing it a month ago, but abandoned in the middle. Somehow I felt like I could and should finish it at the moment. Please, don't take it seriously.
Mon petit – (fr.) my little (boy)
Mon ami – (fr.) my friend
Mon bel garçon – (fr.) my beautiful boy
----
Sorry
Something, Naruto thinks, no one knows.
Something, Sasuke doesn't want to remember.
Something that had happened before they met for the first time after Sasuke's betrayal… and yet something, involving both of them.
----
Sasuke wasn't sure why he obeyed Orochimaru's order – request, as no one is to order the last Uchiha – and went out of Otogakure to meet with the Snake's spy and take a scroll with information from him. Why? He wasn't sure. He felt it would be a right thing to do… That it would lead him to surpassing Itachi faster than if he stayed and trained with Orochimaru that day. It was irrational, but he couldn't help it.
The meeting was going to happen in a small city at the border of Fire and Sand – and Sasuke couldn't deny a tingling sensation nesting in his chest of walking on a blade– it was something he had started to forget, engulfed by his own goal and path to achieve it… It was laughter, willing to come out, laughter at possibility of being recognized any minute… laughter at possibility to have someone's blood splash all over him.
Was he insane? Maybe.
Maybe he left Otogakure for this – for an unfair fight with an unsuspecting shinobi, doomed to cross his path…
It wasn't a festive night, but streets were crowded anyway. Not bothering with any disguise, he walked to the centre, little Uchiha fan on the back of his white shirt exposed for anyone to notice – and fear.
The meeting was to take place in a small club, practically packed with people. Sasuke managed to slip into the building, though there was a whole queue of people waiting outside. The club was dark and filled with smoke, smell of sweat, alcohol and sex. On a small scene a barely clothed girl with microphone was jumping, pretending to sing. Her pitchy voice scratched at Sasuke's brains, but he dismissed the feeling, looking around to locate the person he was meeting with.
It was hardly possible, and he scowled inwardly at stupidity of Orochimaru and his man – who the hell would make an appointment, an important one in such an inappropriate place? Idiots.
As requested, he made his way through the dance floor to the bar, avoiding any contact with grinding against each other bodies, frowning in distaste.
----
Naruto was furious at his failure of a teacher. Damn pervert ditched him in a crappy little village having taken all Naruto's savings! At first he had thought Jiraiya went out on one of his data gathering trips – and no, it didn't include peeping! Those kind of trips from which he always came back with valuable information and a dozen of missing-nins on tail. But as he struggled to survive through the pervert's absence – meaning as he gambled and speculated to get money for a living – he started to get rather… peculiar rumors.
Third week was coming to an end, and Naruto was on endless run from one brothel to another bar, getting nothing but "Haven't seen him from yesterday", "He promised to come tomorrow" and "You won't believe it, but he left two hours ago".
That particular evening, tired and hungry, he ended up in a bar Jiraiya had been particularly fond of. Not only he hoped to catch the old pervert there eventually, but the owner of the place was sort of kind to him, and Naruto, being too busy with his search to get some money, was broke and hungry and hoped the man would spare him a cup of ramen.
"Naruto, mon petit!" bald weirdo in loose robes called Iori, who was the one Naruto connected so many hopes with, jumped in joy at the sight of him and attempted to embrace him in a hug. Naruto barely escaped, but forced his face to remain friendly – oh, almighty ramen, what sacrifices he had to do for its sake!
"Evening, Iori-san. Have you seen the old pervert?"
"Oh, mon ami, I asked you to call me Iori-chan, did I not? And no, I have not seen him since yesterday." Naruto cursed under his breath. The day before he had stayed at the place till five in the morning! It all seemed like a bad joke, as if Jiraiya was purposefully tailing him and visiting the places he had just left. Iori continued babbling. "Mon bel garçon, I have asked you already, but need to ask again – maybe you are…"
"No," Naruto stated firmly, contemplating leaving immediately. The man was persuading him to perform striptease for about a week, which Naruto wasn't going to do by any means. He'd rather send himself to Akatsuki office wrapped in gift-paper with a huge bow on top and a card stating his never-ending love to Uchiha Itachi.
"Too bad…" Iori's eyes glimmered with something Naruto couldn't identify, before the man stepped aside, waving his hands childishly. "Feel yourself at home, Naruto-" Naruto frowned and he finished "-kun." And he disappeared into thin air, leaving Naruto at the backstage, among people whose activity he didn't want to recognize. He cursed, suddenly realizing, that there was no talk about feeding and he'd have to find Iori once again… Crap.
"Naruto!" another voice sang behind him. He turned around to find familiarly-looking man, smiling cheerfully at him.
"Hello…" he muttered, embarrassed at not remembering his name and calculating possibility of getting food from him.
"Searching for Jiraiya-sama, am I right? He's been around just some minutes ago…"
"Too bad…" Naruto sighed at usual fail but then proceeded what had just been said. "What!"
"He's been around… Probably at Iori's cabinet at the moment." The man smiled at him, pointing at the farthest corner of the backstage. Without taking any chances, Naruto stomped in the direction and stormed into the cabinet… Only to find it empty of any Jiraiya-like people. In fact, only Iori was in. He stood up from a pink leather sofa, leering at Naruto.
"Naruto-kun, I'm so sorry to say it, but Jiraiya-sama had just left," and he pointed at the open window.
"You've got to be kidding!" Naruto growled, advancing on the perverted idiot who'd been making fun of him all the time. The other man, who had followed Naruto in, reached out and grabbed his shoulder, holding him in place firmly.
"Actually, we've got a proposition, right Iori-san?" the owner looked dumbfounded for a second, but then smirked knowingly.
"Proposition, yes. So, you want to catch Jiraiya-sama. We can help, but on one condition…"
----
It'd been an hour since the designated time of meeting, but there was no sign of the spy and Sasuke was growing impatient. He had caught some of Orochimaru's bad habits and was going to hurt the man bad if he dared to show up without proper explanation. He'd have left, but instructions were clear – wait not matter how long for the spy's arrival.
But anyway the club was getting at his nerves – the music was complete trash as well as people around. He was glad enough no one paid attention to him, because otherwise he wouldn't be able to keep himself from killing… and it would intervene with his mission, which was not an option.
"And now gentlemen, ladies, gentlemen who think they are ladies and other perverts, we are glad to start our Friday Evening show with performance of our glorious star – Aiya-chan!" the audience cheered and Sasuke, mildly hoping it would entertain him, turned around to see what was going on. On brightly lit scene was a sole girl in tight clothes, swaying in tact with slow music. Soon after she started to strip and Sasuke turned back to the bar, disgusted by waves of lust spreading all over the space.
"Sake," he spit out the words, blaming himself for following the idiotic wish to come out of Otogakure for fresh air. Could have stayed there and probably learned something useful… The bartender handed him a cup with sake, approving look on his face – he had been suspicious for sitting there and not ordering anything. Sasuke drank the cup in one gulp, not feeling anything – neither the taste, nor the promised warmth afterwards. Finally the song ended and the crowd applauded, indicating the girl's leave. Sasuke looked back at the stage to find there a man in a black costume, announcing cheerfully.
"And now we are glad to present you our next performer, - someone whom we've been waiting for a long, long time…" his voice trailed off, as light went out, engulfing the club in complete darkness. The crowd went silent, anticipation tingling in the air and Sasuke let himself wonder what was so special about those words.
Soft quiet music made it way into the air, as female voice started voicing out something in foreign languages. When she finished talking, the music grew stronger, bringing along incoherent repetitive phrase, one Sasuke couldn't decipher – and he suddenly found himself interested, realizing 'That's it!', although what 'it' he didn't know.
His eyes adjusted to the darkness – or was it the light lowly crawling its way into the scene? – and he saw a motionless figure standing on the stage.
"I've heard it all before,
I've heard it all before,
I've heard it all before…"
The voice finally came into power and Sasuke frowned, as if the person on the stage, still covered by darkness, was talking to him, - but he couldn't understand what the talk was about. And then – snap! – the woman started singing and the lights were turned on. On the scene, in all his dumb glory was standing Naruto, lips moving in synch with the song and body twisting in a dance Sasuke never thought he was able to perform. And then – then – the words dawned on him, kicking utter and complete shock away in silent fury. 'What?'
"I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,
Please don't say you're sorry.
I've heard it all before,
And I can take care of myself."
Sasuke dropped the cup onto the counter and jumped off the stool he was sitting on, making hazard way towards the scene. 'That's it, definitely. A good enough evening to achieve Mangyoku Sharingan…'
"I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,
Please don't say 'forgive me'.
I've heard it all before
And I can't take it anymore."
'When was it that I said 'forgive me'?' Sasuke mused mutely, standing right in front of the scene, left hand playing with kunai. Naruto, totally oblivious to this fact, was swaying on the stage, trailing hands down his chest, drowning in appreciation and awe the crowd threw at him.
Blue – so familiar - eyes suddenly snapped open, locking firmly with Sasuke's, cold fire in behind both stares. 'I will kill you,' Sasuke smiled at him. Naruto in return reached down to tug at the bottom of his black shirt and mouthed the words for him and him only.
"You're not half the man you think you are,
Safe your words because you've gone too far.
I've listened to your lies and all you stories,
You're not half the man you'd like to be"
'Want to check it?' Sasuke asked silently. Naruto fell onto the ground and rolled to the side, for a second face at the same level as Sasuke's, mischievous grin plastered on it. Then in one fluid motion he stood up, taking his shirt off, his chest exposed for everyone to see and admire. The crowd went orgasmic, females and – surprisingly – males screaming at the top of their lungs as Naruto arched back. Sasuke was watching him in trance, no rational thought crossing his mind. He wanted to start speaking, wanted to spit all the feelings for Naruto he had digested for the past two years, but…
"I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,
Please don't say you're sorry.
I've heard it all before,
And I can take care of myself.
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,
Please don't say 'forgive me'.
I've heard it all before
And I can't take it anymore."
Sasuke wasn't going to ask for forgiveness, neither he was going to speak on neutral terms with Naruto. He had regretted nearly taking the same path as Itachi, but then realized that no price can be too high to pay for his death. He hadn't been going to haunt Naruto, but fate seemed to shove him into Sasuke's embrace. How convenient! But…
"Don't explain yourself, 'cause talk is cheap.
There's more important thing than hearing you speak.
You stayed because I made it so convenient.
Don't explain yourself, you'll never see…"
Naruto's hands went down to the waistband of his wide black pants and lowered them, baring slim hips and swaying him suggestively. Someone brushed past Sasuke, waving a banknote. Naruto danced to the edge of the scene and let the person tuck it into his pocket. Sasuke was utterly disgusted.
He turned around and dashed back to the bar, sat on the stool he had abandoned previously and motioned the bartender for another cup of sake.
"He's good isn't he? Such a talent at…" Sasuke looked up.
----
"…henge no jutsu." Iori clapped hands at his subordinate, former shinobi of the Mist.
"Mustn't have agreed…" Naruto muttered at the sight of another Naruto. "It was disgusting!" Iori squeaked.
"His dance was beautiful!"
"…what if someone who knows me saw it? Mustn't have agreed!" Naruto looked up, cerulean eyes narrowed dangerously. "Now tell me where's Jiraiya!"
----
Surprisingly, the spy never showed up.
That night, after having learnt that the dancer was not Naruto, Sasuke somehow couldn't throw the image he hadn't paid attention during the act itself out of his head; he kept on replaying it in his mind.
That night he masturbated for the first time in is life.
:end:
----
Somehow I feel that this piece was the crackiest of all crack I've ever written. Mustn't have eaten those mushrooms...
"Sorry" is performed by Madonna.