A/N: So, here's chapter 4!
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight/lyrics to the fourth power.
She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed
We searched and searched for Bella. But she could not be found. Victoria had disguised her scent so well, we could not track her.
Her parents held a memorial service for her after a week.
The seven of us attended. We didn't make ourselves known, we stood by in the forest watching. They declared her missing, but I heard their thoughts, they all presumed her dead.
I think all of Forks attended. Everyone from school was there with their families. Then there were the people who knew Charlie, either from his school days or later in his life. The entire police squad attended. So, all in all, I think everyone was there.
It was surprising that they all fit in Bella's backyard. But they did. After the service, we left.
We left Forks again. We didn't return to Alaska. We were to continue our search.
We never stayed in more than one place for more than a couple of weeks. At first, Rosalie and Emmett complained. Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme understood why we were doing this, Rosalie and Emmett didn't. Eventually, they stopped.
She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed
Time was slipping away. Three months had passed. I had unlimited time, but Bella didn't.
The others were doubting her being alive. Alice tried to see what had happened to her, but she had no luck.
I never gave up. Part of me was telling me that there was no way she could be alive. Victoria would have killed her. The other part refused to believe that she was anything but alive and still out there.
Alice told me there would be two reasons why she couldn't see Bella. One, Victoria's spell was still in affect over her, which, sadly could last until Victoria died and several years afterward if it was strong enough. The other reason would be that Bella was… no! I couldn't dare think it.
We were on the move for about a year.
It was a year from the day my Bella was taken away from me. We stopped back at our house in Forks. Alice and Jasper went out to see if there was any more news of Bella that the small town might know about.
I sat down at the grand piano and played.
First, I played the lullaby I made for Bella. Then I played a few other things that were on my mind. Some of them were songs that Alice insisted on listening to and I had acquired a taste for. Others were songs that Emmett or Jasper liked. I even played a few of Rosalie's favorites. I played one of Esme's and one of Carlisle's.
Then I sat and played a totally new song. I made it up right then and there. It started out slow, then moved into a more faster pace. My fingers flew over the piano. Then it slowed down again toward the end. When I had finished, I looked up, I had an audience.
Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle were all standing, watching me.
"That was beautiful." Alice said after a couple of minutes. The rest nodded in agreement.
"You should write it down." Esme said.
"No, I'll just play it again until I memorize it." And I did, I spent all night memorizing it, tweaking it, making it perfect. By morning, I knew it perfectly.
"Any news?" I asked Alice as I got up from the piano.
She shook her head.
I sunk back to the piano bench and wept tearlessly.
She was gone. How could I leave her?
It's all up in the air and we stand still to see what comes down
We stayed in Forks for a long time. None of us went to school. Technically, no one even knew we were here. We had enough money to get us by for quite a while. Eventually, we would either move, or announce our comeback to the area.
Alice commented that I hadn't hunted for a while. I hadn't even noticed my thirst. I hardly left the piano, I created song after song. I dedicated them all to Bella. I only hoped she would be able to hear them some day.
I now regretted not changing her. If I had changed her, she would be here, or somewhere else with me. I would know where she was. But I was too selfish. I didn't want her to be a monster like me. I didn't want her to try and destroy herself like Carlisle did. I didn't want to see her in that pain.
Alice and Jasper had to drag me out to hunt.
"It's not safe!" Alice said. "You can't be living so close to humans when you're this thirsty!"
I followed her to the mountains.
I didn't even notice what I was doing. I hunted without vigor or emotion. My life had been taken from me once, when I was changed into what I am. Now, it was taken from me again, when my Bella was taken from me.
If only I had just killed Billy and stolen away Bella for myself.
If only I had changed her.
If only I wasn't so selfish.
There were just too many "if only's" now I was stuck in the now.
I thought about killing myself. It wouldn't be easy, but I would figure out some way. But I couldn't, Bella was still out there, I knew it.
A/N2: Don't worry, he doesn't kill himself. Besides, you all know how it ends anyway if you've read "Why did you leave?"
A/N3: Chapter 5 to come soon!