Disclaimer: Naruto and all its characters are the properties of Masashi Kishimoto. No profit is made off of this fan-fiction story. Any additional original characters located in this story are designated at such and belong to the author, Jae (Dirtyangel).

A/N: Hey, all! I've been holding onto this chapter for a long time, and honestly, it's time for me to finally let it go. If you haven't done so, please check out the one-shot that precedes this: Marginal.

This chapter is unbeta'd, so I apologize ahead of time for any typos. As always, thank you for the favs/follows/reviews. I hope you enjoy!

—.&.&.—

XI.

Family

Naruto sat at the edge of the bed, watching the slow rise and fall of his son's chest. He took in the boy's sleeping face, unable to shake the disquieting notion that Kanaye was still so young. For a single, irrational moment the concept frightened him. What could he do to shield this young life from the unsavory realities of his own? Could Kanaye come to understand why Naruto wanted to send him away, or would he begin to resent him and think of it only as abandonment?

The looming possibility that Kanaye could hate him made Naruto sick to his stomach. All the determination that had fueled him while in Tsunade's office was gone now, leaving him in the uncomfortable company of his uncertainty. His situation was evolving. Rather than locking him up, Tsunade wanted to reintegrate him. This did nothing to change the fact that he was still confined to Konoha, but at least the choice of having his son here or not was entirely in his hands. That was what he had wanted, the option to keep Kanaye safe from all that was happening. But having the ability to choose didn't make Naruto any more prepared to decide.

One hand gently brushed across Kanaye's forehead to clear his hair from his eyes. The boy wrinkled his nose reflexively and made a small whining sound in his sleep; he curled further into the security of the covers.

Naruto needed to be sure that he was making the right decision, indisputably. However, the man he was—the man he was choosing to be—was horribly ineffective at making the right call. He lacked the confidence to make his decision without second-guessing himself. Naruto found it frustrating, because he knew it never used to be like this.

"I can't keep this up, Kaiya," he whispered under his breath, bringing his hand back to his lap. "I can't continue to be this 'someone else' anymore."

He thought back on the words his late wife had said to him the first year they'd met: "You can be someone else if the past is too painful."

They'd been offered to him like a panacea, helping him to ward off the fear he'd found himself with those many years ago. He'd taken their sentiment deep within himself and hollowed out what was wrong—all the things that made him afraid: being a jinchuuriki; being a missing-nin; being … him. He had shed it all and became someone else.

Someone who didn't have the same troubles, someone who was simpler.

His eyes fell away from Kanaye and settled on the rumpled bed sheets. That person didn't make the kind of decisions he needed to make. That person didn't have a place in Konoha, and he should have known that the moment he'd chosen to set foot in the village. But acknowledging the truth left him disappointed. He could no longer ignore the way he'd taken Kaiya's well-meaning words and used them as an excuse to run from himself. The reality of it sickened him.

God, he was beginning to see why Kurama had been so disgusted with him.

Huffing out a long sigh, Naruto looked up to stare at the window. Through the partially drawn curtains a single beam of moonlight filtered in. His eyes absently followed its path across the room to where the light caught the bottom edge of his bed. A few inches from its feathered outline sat the folded stack of his new Konoha uniform and the headband on top of it. The metal plate of his forehead protector glowed with the faintest reflective light, as if swelling with some triumphant pride.

The fact that Tsunade had safeguarded it for so long weighed on him. He hated the position he was being forced into, but he couldn't help feeling guilty. Everything about being back filled him with guilt. Though, the worst part of it was Sasuke.

Sasuke—his new team leader.

This filled Naruto with new levels of frustration. Another integral part of his situation was the probationary period he'd have to spend under the critical eye of the other ninja. He didn't know how things would turn out considering the obvious dislike Sasuke had for him. Sasuke's anger threw him off, and it upset him that he couldn't understand it. The other man had been his best friend—his other half. Of all the people that could have misunderstood his leaving, why was it him?

"This is all messed up," Naruto mumbled to himself.

This wasn't how he'd imagined things would have played out. After he'd left, everything was supposed to be all right; the others wouldn't have had to worry about him anymore and could move on with happier lives. Instead, there was this: a muted reflection of the future he'd fantasized about. Lives had progressed but they carried the burden of a nervousness that seemed to revolve around him. It was disheartening, and he couldn't bring himself to accept it.

He wanted to fix it. He needed to fix it. Somewhere in the hazy fog of his memory he had believed that his presence here wouldn't have benefitted everyone. Naruto couldn't remember why specifically; he just knew. But it didn't help him understand things any better. He was going to make things right, and in order to do that, he needed some guidance.

Instinctively, he looked inward. His thoughts fixed on the place deep within his mind where he knew Kurama occupied. Naruto pictured the metaphysical walls of the tunnels that led to Kurama's cage. When they manifested, the section didn't have the industrial piping and grunge that it usually embodied. Instead, it was a dimly lit stone corridor with torches dispersed intermittently along each wall.

He regarded his surroundings curiously before calling out.

"Kurama."

His voice echoed off the walls and ricocheted down the hallway. To his left, one of the torch lights flickered. Then he felt a heavy presence suddenly hovering behind him. Naruto spun around to find an amused Kurama leaning casually against the wall. It was in its humanoid form.

"Hmm, you're seeking me out now?" Kurama asked, tone cavalier, "Surely, something must be wrong."

The blond gave it a flat look and frowned slightly. "You know, I really didn't come for the asshole treatment," he said, frank. Then his expression evened out, "I came because I wanted a friend's advice."

Kurama looked at him strangely before straightening its posture and taking two steps away from the wall. The soft glow of the corridor's torchlight emphasized the red flame patterns at the hem of its robe.

"F-rien-d?" Each syllable slowly rolled off Kurama's tongue as if it were an alien language. "If that's how you describe our relationship, brat, then you have a very strange definition of friendship," it finished.

Naruto grimaced at this point. It was true that most of their past interactions could only be described as divisive, and Kurama had had no qualms about showing its desire to undermine Naruto's control of its power. But he found the Kyuubi to be an incredibly fickle creature. Where it had once openly attempted to weaken the seal of its prison, it was now more collaborative and even supportive. And though they still bickered and insulted one another, Naruto felt his statement did ring true; they were friends.

Kurama had consoled him—in its own shrewd way—when his wife had died, and it constantly reminded him of how he needed to be a stronger man for his son. Most of all, he remembered how it had enigmatically told him that understanding who he was would help him move past his fear.

These were the things that made Naruto trust Kurama, and that was why he wanted its counsel.

"Whatever you may think, I still see you as a comrade. You've been with me all my life," Naruto affirmed. "Why would I overlook that?"

Kurama's face faltered. A genuine look of surprise invaded its expression, but the moment was brief. Its countenance quickly shifted into an annoyed frown, and it turned away from him.

"You are just as annoying as he is," it grumbled.

"Who?" Naruto asked, puzzled.

Kurama ignored his question and began walking further down the corridor.

"If you want that advice, then follow me," it threw over its shoulder.

—.o.—

When they emerged from the corridor, Naruto found himself in an unexpected setting: the kitchen of his old apartment in Konoha.

It looked exactly like it should have, dishes in the sink and random cups of instant ramen lying about on every available surface. A scattered pile of mail sat at one end of the kitchen table. Underneath it the covers of a few raunchy magazines peeked out. One of them was blatantly a gay pictorial.

A lopsided grin snuck its way onto Naruto's face when he saw this, and he chuckled. He remembered when Jiraiya gave him those magazines for his fourteenth birthday. He'd been both excited and embarrassed to receive them. It was the first time Jiraiya had openly addressed the topic of his sexuality outside the context of playful teasing. The old man had claimed he wanted to make sure Naruto had all the tools he needed in order to become a healthy and virile young man. He'd also claimed that he'd thrown in that extra piece of reading material just in case the blond had more "exotic" tastes.

Thinking back on it as an adult, Naruto wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing Jiraiya never raised any children of his own. The sannin's reassuringly supportive—and at times, comically inappropriate—manner had always been applied when Naruto needed it the most.

"Why here?" He looked back at Kurama, his smile settling comfortably on his lips.

Kurama had pulled out one of the table's chairs and sat down. It then propped its feet up onto the seat of another chair. Naruto raised a curious eyebrow. It was an interesting sight, witnessing the fox adopt such human mannerisms.

Kurama folded its arms. "A familiar setting could help your thought process."

Taking a seat in the table's remaining chair, Naruto nodded in mild agreement.

"That's actually not a bad idea."

"Of course it's not," Kurama scoffed. "You forget I'm centuries older than you, brat. I'm better at this than you are."

Naruto's smile fell away instantly. Obviously the fox couldn't help itself, he thought.

"Again, you're being an asshole," he said with a frown.

"Whatever." Kurama shrugged.

Rolling his eyes but deciding to let Kurama's attitude pass, the blond refocused on the reason they'd come here.

"I'm pretty sure you're aware of what's going on," he began. "They're not locking me up, but they're giving me six months to prove why they shouldn't." Naruto couldn't keep himself from scowling, "I've been demoted, of all things. And if I'm going to stay,I have to start from scratch."

"They're bringing you back under control. None of this is surprising," Kurama said off-handedly. It tilted its head thoughtfully and considered him as it spoke again, "But you say 'if I'm going to stay.' You should already know whether you're going to stay here or not. That's the first thing that matters."

"Well, it's not like I have much of a choice," Naruto said.

"You've always had a choice, brat. Telling them where you've been for the last decade and you wanting to stay are two different things. Must I remind you whose vessel you are? You are a very powerful individual, Naruto. No one can make you do anything you don't want to do without expending a lot of effort. As much as I abhor being imprisoned, quite a few people had to die in order to do so. If you truly don't want to be in Konoha, that's what may need to happen."

Naruto grimaced at the grisly reference to the event that had bound him and Kurama together. The serious expression the fox gave him made him uncomfortable. What Kurama spoke of was much too close to the biting accusations and epithets the villagers had thrown at him during his youth. Naruto would never be that person. He began to shake his head, denying the case Kurama was making.

"No," he said emphatically, "I have no intention of killing anyone."

"Then wouldn't that mean you want to stay?" Kurama countered.

Naruto hesitated with his response, not sure if he wanted to concede Kurama's point. Weary of what would come next, he answered: "Y-yes … to some degree, I guess. But—"

"If that's so, then why would you ever want to stay anywhere without your boy?"

Kurama's accusation cut him off with the brutality of a razor's edge. It was flippant with its subtlety, but Naruto still felt ambushed by it. His brow furrowed into a heavy frown as he became indignant at Kurama's implication.

"Don't even go there," Naruto asserted, angrily, "I know what you're implying, and that's not it. I would never make such a decision so carelessly!" Kurama had to know how desperately he was trying to keep his son safe. His indecision concerning Kanaye wasn't about finding some excuse to get rid of the boy.

"Kanaye is just a child, and I'm trying to do what's best for him. He doesn't know about the shinobi world, or all its dangers—and why should he? What's the point of exposing him to the ugly truth of that kind of survival?"

For all the intensity of his words, Naruto's tirade was met with the opposing presence of Kurama's grin. The creature's shoulders began to shake as it let loose a guttural laugh. The noise rang through the kitchen in rhythmic waves, ferrying in an air of condescension and vicious humor. It made Naruto bristle further.

"What the hell are you laughing about?" he demanded.

The fox's laughter melted into a devious smirk and it looked at him, a playful glint in its eyes. "I'm laughing at you, brat."

At Naruto's affronted expression, it continued, "Isn't it ironic to hear you speak like that, considering the annoying way you used to go on when you were younger? 'I'll show 'em my way of the ninja,' you'd said. 'I'll be the greatest nin they ever saw!'" Kuruma's eyes twinkled with a hint of cruelty, "'Don't underestimate me! I don't quit, and I don't run … No matter what, I'll be Hokage one day!'"

Ice water slowly gathered in Naruto's veins as his past declarations were flung back at him. Not for the first time, he felt a deeply rooted shame spread through his chest and anchor itself firmly in his gut. It was followed by a consuming numbness that seemed to seize control of his entire body.

Being forced to acknowledge how different his life had turned out from what he'd thought it would be was difficult. And Kurama's steady stream of reproof made the truth a bitter and undesirable thing to face. Naruto knew that he'd screwed up, but how could he have ever anticipated the events that happened to him after those naïve days?

"Don't you fucking dare, Kurama," Naruto warned, refusing to become a useless victim to the Kyuubi's words. "You won't make this all about me. That is not what I came here for."

"And why wouldn't it be about you," Kurama asked, sweetly. "Most things here begin and end with you, don't they?"

It placed a pensive finger against its chin and tapped absently, as if lost in thought. "I'll offer you this: maybe the reason you fear letting Kanaye stay here in Konoha is because you're worried that what happened to you will happen to him? He shares that same youthful vigor for life you once had. Are you up for the challenge of keeping those kinds of convictions from being snuffed out again? Or are you afraid he might end up like you—someone who runs away from his shortcomings?"

Naruto flinched back from that final jab. He looked off to the side, away from Kurama's mocking stare. He didn't know what to say. Regardless of how much he resented the things Kurama said, a part of him couldn't find the confidence to disagree with them. He sighed heavily, pulling his mouth into a grim expression.

Kurama smiled at his conceding silence. Then it shrugged its shoulders dismissively and threw its hands up in a nonchalant manner. "But if you'd rather a less introspective outlook, sending Kanaye back to your farming village could be a gambit. He could continue to live a quiet and sheltered life there, or with you becoming an active ninja again, it could make him an easy target for your enemies."

Naruto raised his eyes back to Kurama's face. "You could have led with that piece of advice first."

Kurama smirked.

A few more contemplative moments went by before Naruto decided to speak again.

"Earlier, when I was with Jiraiya, you didn't want me telling him the truth—why?" he asked.

Naruto felt compelled to confront Kurama on this. Much of the fox's criticisms were about him not meeting problems head on, and yet it had threatened him into keeping up his charade.

The mirth occupying Kurama's expression slipped away into an irritated frown. It rolled its eyes at him and made a disgusted sound.

"It would be nice if you used your brain more often, brat," it said, folding its arms.

"I'm serious," Naruto insisted. "I didn't understand. If there was ever a time to speak about what happened, it would have been then. Jiraiya was the best person for that."

An abrupt screech filled the kitchen as Kurama callously kicked the other chair away from it. It planted its feet firmly on the ground and glowered at him.

"Use. Your. Damn. Brain, Naruto," it fumed. "What exactly would you have told him? That you don't remember anything about after you left, or how you don't know how you ended up in that village you've been living in? Would you have told him about the coma you were in for three months prior to waking up there? Or that you had tampered with the seal of the creature they'd locked inside you?"

Kurama clucked its tongue in annoyance, "In the time you've been pretending you weren't a shinobi, I never forgot. You must think about what is happening to you, Naruto. You are a missing-nin, and in the eyes of some, you are considered a compromised piece of equipment. You're in possession of something very powerful. You've been lucky that those who've dealt with you so far still hold so much sentimentality for you. It's been distracting them from this fact, but it makes you no less suspicious.

"The time for naïve trust is gone. You must think carefully about the things you say and the things you do. Because it is not that woman, your Hokage, you need to worry about. It is the people she has to convince. They are the one's who want to tighten your leash."

Naruto stared back at the Kyuubi, worried. He considered the basis of its reasoning; could he have trusted Jiraiya to understand his circumstances? Admittedly, when he'd initially evaded all the questions thrown at him, Naruto had only been thinking of keeping his distance. Keeping himself separate meant that it would've been easier to leave, but Kurama's words were imparting a new logic on him.

"I … hadn't thought of that," he said artlessly.

"Of course you didn't," Kurama snapped. "All too often you think with your emotions and not with your head, brat."

Anger flared up in Naruto. "Then why don't you help enlighten me some more?" he retaliated. He was tired of playing Kurama's verbal whipping boy. "Why don't you tell me exactly why I can't remember anything from after I left, and how exactly I'd ended up half-dead and in a coma in the first place."

"Ha!" Kurama barked, bitterly. "Now you're suddenly interested in knowing? A decade of avoiding the truth and now you want to know everything?"

"Yes, it's about time you stopped hiding things from me!" Naruto snarled.

Silence.

All at once the air around them stilled, and Kurama fixed him with a humorless stare.

"Hiding," it said, voice taking on an ominous pitch. To his credit, Naruto ignored the prickling sensation that ran down his spine at Kurama's tone and continued to glare.

"Hiding," Kurama repeated angrily. "I am not hiding anything that you did not want hidden from yourself," it spat. "I have upheld my end of our bargain. Do not blame me for your own desperation."

Naruto blinked, suddenly blindsided.

"What?" he asked, voice barely over a whisper, "What are you talking about?"

Kurama leveled him with an irritated scowl and folded its arms. "What do you think I'm talking about, Naruto?" Its question hung between them defiantly, making Naruto pause.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to take Kurama's bait and continue down the path their conversation was turning. A sinking feeling began to crawl its way down into the pit of his stomach. How exactly did Kurama expect him to respond to that? Suddenly, he found himself looking around the kitchen. The scene before them seemed innocuous and nothing unusual stood out. Yet, a thought occurred to Naruto that had him belabored with more dread: when was the last time he could imagine the details of his old apartment so clearly?

Naruto's eyes jerked back to Kurama. "You can't be serious?"

Even as he spoke, Naruto's mind began to race. He tried to think back to the time he'd left Konoha and the day he'd written his letter, but the memory was fleeting. It tapered off like an unfinished sentence, and conjuring further images about specific things became difficult. All he had was the implied feeling of knowing something happened, before his thoughts abruptly fell off into nothing. This chasm of emptiness in his memory, which represented the year and half of his life after leaving, was already familiar. It had been one of the first things he'd noticed once he'd woken up from his coma. The overwhelming feeling of panic that had seized him back then, when he'd become aware of it, had almost suffocated him. But Kurama had stepped in to calm him down and informed him about their deal—telling Naruto of how, in exchange for saving his life, he'd agreed to free some of the fox's essence.

Naruto swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. Why hadn't he pushed Kurama on the details of his memory loss before? Had he been so caught up with trying to cope with his partial amnesia that he'd ignored such a glaring factor?

"So that's the reason why I can't remember anything, because I asked you not to let me?"

Kurama considered him for a moment. Its unnaturally red eyes stared back at him, unblinking.

"Perhaps," it said, leaning back in its chair—arms still folded, "There may be hope for you yet."

Taking in a deep, calming breath, Naruto exhaled. He stamped down the roiling mass of uneasiness gathering in his gut. He couldn't afford to panic over this new revelation—not when there were so many other things already threatening to overwhelm him. He needed to hold fast to his shaky resolve.

"But why would I ask you to do this?" Naruto questioned, voice sounding more subdued than he felt.

"I'm not the one you should be asking that question," Kurama answered.

Naruto closed his eyes, grimacing in frustration. He clenched his fists while taking in another deep breath.

"Should I even bother continuing this conversation?" he grounded out, shooting an irritated glare in Kurama's direction.

His ire grew when he saw the slow grin creeping its way along the fox's face. Kurama propped an elbow on the edge of the table, then rested its chin on the back of its hand.

"You could, but expect no hand holding from me," it offered.

The urge to punch the creature in its smug mouth sparked bright and strong in Naruto's chest. He shot up from his chair and flung a gesturing arm out toward the kitchen they occupied.

"Fine, if you insist on being an asshole!" he yelled. "At least tell me if this is your doing," he waved toward the room again. "Are you helping me remember this?"

"I'm not doing anything, brat. In fact, I'm actively doing nothing," Kurama looked up at him with an amused expression.

Naruto's lips pressed into a grim line. His brow felt as if it'd been permanently knitted into a scowl ever since he'd begun his questioning. Yet, he thought, perhaps Kurama had a point. Maybe he did need to start depending on his own ingenuity again if he wanted to get any real answers. The gravity of his situation was revealing just how important it was for him to shed his mantle of being a simple farmer.

He brought his arm back to his side and said, "I don't even know if I fully believe you."

Kurama snorted, giving him a flat look, "Trust is such a precarious venture, isn't it, Naruto?"

Naruto frowned, then after a moment, sighed; he let some of the tension in his stance loosen.

"Yeah, I guess it is," he replied.

Absently, his gaze drifted toward the entrance door just beyond the kitchen threshold. He stared at it; an odd feeling suddenly washing over him. Something urged him to go to it, as if it was imperative that he did so. Naruto sent Kurama a weary glance, but the fox's expression hadn't changed. He looked back at the door, still hesitant. When the feeling persisted, Naruto resigned himself to moving toward the entrance.

As he drew closer, each step he took began to feel strangely weighted. Once he reached the doorway, he stop. Something kept him from continuing forward.

Standing there, unable to proceed, Naruto started to tremble. He couldn't explain why, but he suddenly felt scared. The longer he stood there the more this feeling of terror grew. He braced himself against the frame of the threshold in an attempt to calm down; a light sweat had already broken out on his skin.

"W-why can't I—" he peered over his shoulder. Kurama was gone.

This startled him out of his paralysis. Stumbling as he turned around, Naruto stepped back into the kitchen.

"Kuruma?" he called out, eyes searching the area. Unlike before, there was no indication that he'd been heard. Outside of the familiar disorder of his old apartment, there was no sign of anyone else being there.

The longer Naruto waited for a reply, the angrier he became. An irritated growl rumbled in the back of his throat—all his previous fear forgotten.

The Kyuubi was such a capricious little shit.

Abruptly, the sound of clumsy movement behind him caught Naruto's attention. He whirled around just in time to catch a glimpse of shaggy blond hair disappearing into the hallway adjacent to the kitchen entrance. He ran over to the doorway, intent on catching this newcomer before they fled deeper into the apartment. But when he reached it, Naruto froze in his tracks.

Halfway down the hall, two forms stumbled their way through the passage, pawing at one another with frenzied, impassioned hands. They had the stature and wiry muscles of teenage boys, and Naruto immediately recognized the messy crop of blond hair as belonging to his younger self. His seventeen year-old double shifted to the side and forced his partner up against the wall. The other boy huffed out a short laugh before meeting younger Naruto halfway for another deep kiss. There was no mistaking his dark hair and pale complexion.

Naruto's heart skipped a beat when he identified seventeen year-old Sasuke. The same flutter of surprise twisted itself into the cold burn of something sad and vaguely nostalgic.

Only when the tingling feeling that fringed this pain became sharper, did he realize he'd been holding his breath. Then his trance broke, and Naruto gulped down a lung full of much-needed air.

It wasn't long before younger Sasuke pushed both teens away from the wall. Simultaneously, the other blond used their momentum to direct them toward the open bedroom door at the end of the hall. Their breathy groans trailed behind them as they disappeared into the room, like a siren's song, enticing Naruto to take an unconscious step forward.

He stopped himself. Was this a lost memory, or some weirdly redolent dream? Maybe Kurama was playing a cruel joke on him just because it could.

Naruto didn't know. Any explanation he might find laid at the end of a hallway he hadn't been able to visualize in over a decade.

Caught between indecision and curiosity, he finally decided to let himself move ahead. The hall seemed to shrink as he stepped into it, and the simmering feeling of familiarity grew.

Soon he reached the bedroom door.

"You getting cold feet?" a voice whispered.

He peered into the room and found Sasuke seated at the edge of the bed, alone. The other male sat leaning back on his elbows, legs hanging over the edge, and a smirk on his face. He stared ahead intently, as if seeing something only he could. Then his eyes slid shut, and he sucked in a deep breath between his clenched teeth. When he exhaled it came out in a quivering moan.

Naruto watched, enthralled. His gaze followed the natural line that led from Sasuke's lips, down along his Adam's apple, to his bare chest. His mouth went a little dry when he took notice of the unzipped front of Sasuke's pants. Seeing Sasuke like this—remembering Sasuke like this...

"... We both know how much you want me."

Naruto was hovering over him, feeling immensely turned on by the way Sasuke kept goading him. Sasuke's hand had made its way up his arm and was moving down his chest.

"Naruto …"

Sasuke was arching back underneath him, groaning for him to go faster. He'd reached back and gripped Naruto's thigh the same time Naruto pulled his hips back further.

"Don't be an idiot, dobe."

They were on the couch in Sasuke's apartment; Naruto's head in his lap. He knew Sasuke was struggling not to smile. He could hear it in his soft baritone. Naruto was beaming up at him, regardless. It was okay if they sat like this for a while. It wasn't like they did this often.

"It figures you'd like it like this ..."

His head was still pounding from the brawl they'd just had. Naruto was dizzy and couldn't remember what they'd been fighting about, but he didn't care. Yes, Sasuke was a dick; and he deserved to be punched again. But Naruto didn't want him to stop touching him. Sasuke's breath was heavy and warm again his skin. Naruto held him tighter, moaning.

"My problem is you! … You never just go away ..."

Naruto felt as if his heart would shatter in his chest. Why was Sasuke saying these things to him? Didn't that bastard know how much he cared about him—how much he loved him?

Naruto blinked, letting his memories encase him in their bittersweet embrace. His feet moved on their own volition, taking him across the bedroom to stand in front of the young man sitting on the bed. Sasuke's smirk remained in place, but his eyes shifted their focus to Naruto's face. Slowly, his expression changed. He sat up off his elbows and peered up at Naruto with a worried look in his eyes.

"Why?" Sasuke spoke directly to him.

"What do you mean 'why'?" the words slipped past Naruto's lips without a thought. He'd spoken them before, in another time, to answer the same question.

"Why do you feel this way about me? Why now?"

A sad smile forced its way onto Naruto's face as he reached up to gently touch Sasuke's cheek. The familiarity of it struck something deep within him.

"I don't know," he whispered, "Why not?"

—.o.—

Naruto jolted awake to the feeling of something landing on top of his head. His hand shot up to grab at the thing—only to encounter a small foot. Confused, and a little groggy, he blinked a few times before shifting his head out of the way to look up. At some point in the night he'd fallen asleep and slipped from sitting on the edge of Kanaye's bed to being slumped over on the floor. This had left him vulnerable to his son's occasional habit of acrobatics in his sleep (as well as serious stiffness in Naruto's lower back and shoulders).

He snorted in amusement, carefully getting to his feet and maneuvering Kanaye so he lay fully on the bed. Somehow the boy had managed to roll himself halfway down the mattress at an angle. The sheets were left hanging haphazardly off to one side while Kanaye clutched a pillow in an outstretched fist like it was a lifeline; all the while snoring away with a dreamy smile on his face. The scene was ridiculous but endearing, and it amazed Naruto how much his son seemed to mirror his younger self. He had no idea how genetics had mastered such a thing.

However, thoughts of his childhood and his son soon had Naruto's mind backtracking to the conversation with Kurama.

Why would he want to stay anywhere without his boy?

Kurama's question circled around his head for a few long moments as Naruto reconsidered it. Why would he live anywhere apart from his son? Sickness had taken Kanaye's mother from them, and though they still had Kaiya's parents to maintain their little family, Naruto was his father. Wasn't it important to continue being that for him? Naruto of all people knew how it felt to be without that foundation of parental love.

He sighed and stretched his stiff shoulders and back. Absently, he noted how quiet Kurama was choosing to be. This was fine with him. He'd rather not deal with the creature for a while. It had already given him enough to think about.

Looking away from Kanaye, he glanced over at the small digital clock resting on the nightstand between their beds; it was early morning, just before sunrise. Then he turned to look over at his unslept in bed. In the dim light of the room, his uniform and forehead protector continued their silent vigil near the edge of the mattress.

Naruto walked over to them and picked up the headband. His thumb brushed the dulled surface of its metal plate. He could hear Sasuke's sarcastic voice sniping at him about being unable to lose it, even after he'd left it behind.

Sasuke.

His thumb stilled, and he held the forehead protector properly in both hands. It seemed that he'd left behind more than he'd thought.

The memories of his last few months in the village were still incomplete, but the better half of that year—which encapsulated all that time spent with Sasuke—was clearer now. And knowing how intimate their friendship had turned back then had Naruto's mind reeling.

Could that be why Sasuke was so angry? It would explain a lot if it was. But Naruto recalled their last fight before he'd left, and the cruel things Sasuke had said to him. The other ninja had wanted him gone. Why would he hold it against Naruto that he left?

This had Naruto's thoughts pivoting back to Kurama's admission that Naruto had wanted to forget these things.

But why?

The pain of Sasuke's rejection had broken his heart, but Naruto couldn't fathom why he would want to forget anything beyond that. How desperate could he have been to want something like that?

The truth about his and Kurama's deal left Naruto with so many questions. He wasn't sure if the fragmented nightmares and ominous dreams he'd been experiencing were also related to his memory loss.

Frowning, Naruto thought about all the things involving his amnesia that he'd avoided or ignored. It was obvious that if he'd looked a little deeper, he would have noticed something was amiss sooner. He'd never asked Kurama how exactly he'd managed to free only part of it. The seal on Kurama's cage was a complex construct of chakra, and Naruto's grasp on fuuinjutsu was far from advanced enough to manipulate something like that. He would have only been able to disrupt it, which could have been enough to force a clumsy removal.

Reflexively, Naruto turned his attention back to Kurama. However, he felt the fox's presence slink away deeper into his subconscious. A hint of amusement whispered after it, and Naruto grimaced in annoyance. Kurama seemed bent on forcing him to figure things out on his own. It was aggravating. The least it could do was answer one question.

Naruto wanted to know if Kurama could hide his memories on request, couldn't it give them back to him just as easily?

Again, it felt as if Kurama was smirking at him. Naruto's frown deepened.

He'd told the Kyuubi that he considered it a friend, and truthfully, he knew he meant that. Perhaps there was a reason he needed to find things out for himself. Whatever that reason was, he had to trust it was for the best ... maybe.

He refocused on his forehead protector. He would face this problem head on this time—no more running. The words Kaiya had given him had helped Naruto get through the past decade, but it was time for him to take back who he was if he wanted to fix himself, salvage the things that had been important to him, and protect his family.

He was Uzumaki Naruto, and he would always be number one at surprising—even if that meant himself.

—.&.o.&.—