Beautiful Disaster Chapter 5, a stargate: atlantis fanfic

Chapter 5

Ronon scrounges through his pack, feeling for the glow rods Sheppard showed him how to use when they first went out on missions together. It took him what seemed like an hour to find the pack in the dark even though he dropped it in a specific spot so that he could find it easily. Unfortunately, they lost Dr. D'Angelos' back at the ruins.

His pack should hold four glow sticks, each having enough energy for twelve hours of light. Now that the cave is sealed and they are relatively safe from their hunters, he pulls out one of the sticks and cracks it at the center then shakes it vigorously. A muted green glow lights up the cavern.

"Wow," Alessa gasps. "That's beautiful." She's looking at the ceiling and Ronon's gaze follows. The light has ignited something in the rocks above, like a spattering of starlight in a night sky. He drops his eyes to study his charge. She has a wondrous, innocent look on her face. His heart breaks when she shifts and pain shoots through her features.

"Alessa?"

"I'm all right…just a twinge."

Ronon doesn't believe her. He moves to her side and lifts her shirt. The bandage has soaked through yet again, leaving an ever bigger stain seeping through her trousers. Digging through the bag, he searches for more bandages… nothing. He has no choice. "I need more cloth," he tells her softly.

Alessa gives him a warm smile, though perspiration on her upper lip and the tremble in her body tell him the smile is a comforting lie. She talks as he works, probably to keep her mind off his actions. "Guess McKay will win his bet after all," she sighs as Ronon cuts off her shirt, leaving only her undergarment to cover her.

"No." The swell of her breasts trapped beneath the thin material should send him into a fit of carnal lust, but her words have the opposite effect.

She coughs a chuckle, only to wince again. "Hey." She lifts his chin so she can look him in the eyes. "At least I didn't get you killed."

"You're not going to die, Alessa. I told you." He carefully unzips her pants and peels down the left side, exposing the wound.

Her hand falls away weakly. "You're a strong man, Ronon…but even you can't defeat death."

He grips her hand and pulls it to his lips. "Together…we can."

She stares at him with those dark eyes. "You could have made it to the gate without me." Her fingers curl around his. "You should have."

"I will not leave you."

Breath shudders through her body. "I don't know why you're so nice to me, Specialist Dex…but I do thank you." Her eyelids grow heavy and start to close.

Ronon picks up one of the cold soaked cloths and dabs her face with it. "Stay awake, Alessa. Stay with me."

"So…tired."

"Talk to me again."

She sighs. "'bout what?" Her words are slurred and eyes fully closed but he hasn't lost her yet.

"Why did you resign that day? Why did you want to leave Atlantis?"

She rolls her head toward him, toward the coolness of the cloth and opens her eyes. Her gaze is muted, glassy. "Nobody wanted me there."

"I did."

"Yeah…well…we've already established there's something wrong with you," she giggles only to cry out when he presses the cloth to her belly.

3 WEEKS AGO
Dr. Carson Beckett gave her the once over and declared her fit as a fiddle. He patted her knee, probably expecting her to hop off the gurney and rush from the infirmary. But she couldn't move. "I think I made a really bad decision today, Carson."

"How so, lass?"

She chuckled softly. "I got a marriage proposal…sort of anyway—"

"Really? You've been seeing someone, luv? You never mentioned—"

"I'm not seeing anyone. Besides my Duracell buddy."

"You're not going to tell me your little mechanical friend proposed, are ya? 'cause if that's the case, we'll be needing to get Dr. Heightmeyer down here."

She laughed, grateful for his easy going nature. Carson was one of the truest people she'd ever met, and a good friend. Pretty much the only man she felt comfortable around. "On the planet…you goofball. Today. Before all the crap started hitting the fan." She dropped her gaze to her hands as she twisted them together. "It's why the crap hit the fan."

Carson lifted her chin with a gentle finger. "Tell me what happened."

She shrugged. "I turned him down. My one chance at ever getting a guy to even look at me and I turned him down. Granted he was an alien…with really, really bad breath and horrible manners and really only wanted me because his current wife was being coveted by other tribes because she's so pretty…at least that's the gist I got."

"Hold on there—"

"He said he knew I'd bare him many off-spring because of my…lets just say he was less than pleasant about my Italian inheritance." She motioned to her hips.

"You are in perfect health, my dear. Don't even start on that issue again. I've told you a thousand times, you are not overweight."

"I'm pudgy."

"You're voluptuous."

"Meaty." He was about to retort when she waved a hand. "Though I do pride myself on the flat tummy and non-wobbly arms."

"There you go, be positive. And you do have fabulous legs, lass…of course, I'm saying that not only as your doctor, but as a member of the male gender. Nice gams."

She smiled, feeling a blush burn through her cheeks. "Anyway…after that he said the minute he met me the first time, he knew I would be perfect for him…because I'd never be coveted by any other tribe. No one would look upon my face that way." She flipped her hand again. "I'm paraphrasing of course." Useless, annoying tears slipped silently down her cheeks as she dropped her eyes from his.

"Bloody well hope you decked him but good." She shook her head. Carson wrapped an arm around her shoulders and guided her into his office. He sat her down on the comfy sofa away from prying eyes and handed her a tissue. As she wiped her eyes and blew her nose, he turned to his desk and pulled out a bottle and two glasses. "I keep this for emergencies," he told her as he poured some Scotch into the tumblers. "It's the good stuff, lass. Drink up." She hesitated, catching his bright blue, compassionate eyes. "Doctor's orders, luv." Then he smiled, those dimples getting the best of her.

"So, is that what started the melee? You turned him down?"

She sipped more scotch, shaking her head again. "I'm afraid I let my tongue get away from me. I was just so mad. I mean, I've accepted who I am…at least on Earth I had. I didn't have any expectations for anything other than a career…maybe a dog…a couple of cats…" she shrugged. "But this…man…really pissed me off. Who the hell was he to say that I'm nothing special to look at?"

"Exactly right…and you are…"

"Please, Carson." He was a love and a comfort, but he couldn't change the mind of a thirty-two year old woman who lived at least half that time with a plain sight reminder of a teenage disease; not to forget a lifetime of five beauty pageant winning sisters bracketing her in age and Alessa only being 'the smart one' to family and friends.

"So what did your wayward tongue say to the blind, bloody alien?"

"If I tell you…you can't tell Dr. Weir." He nodded consent. "I told him I wasn't a woman and couldn't give him off-spring."

"Lass…"

"Yeah, he didn't buy it either. So I…gave him…um… a detailed description of a hermaphrodite." She sucked in her lips and nodded.

Carson gaped. "You what?" He started laughing as she continued.

"Well, it's not exactly an easy translation…but their language was a derivative of Latin so I muddled through with a few other words." She raised her eyes to his again and grinned wickedly. "I told him it was probably bigger than his…then I asked him if he wanted to touch it."

He was nearly doubled over with laughter. "That was a risky maneuver…so he touched you? Found out you were lying through your teeth?"

"No, well…yeah, that is when all hell broke loose, but he didn't try to verify my…um…claim."

"Thank Heaven."

"Apparently, he'd brought warriors to take me by force if I was unwilling or if Lorne's team resisted my abduction. He fell into the others screaming that I was something akin to a devil and that I should be killed immediately." She shrugged again. The scotch had started to do its job and she felt a flush of relief and warmth wash over her. "So we ran."

Tears from laughter flashed in the medical doctor's eyes, making her feel a lot better about what she'd done so she laughed too. They both stopped abruptly when they heard Lorne call out from the front of the infirmary. Alessa sank into the sofa, clutching her glass in both hands. "I don't want to see them."

Carson patted her knee as he rose. "Not a problem, my dear. You stay here. Enjoy your medicine. I'll take care of the lads. They'll be right as rain and gone soon enough."

It didn't take long for the men to start ripping into her. No matter how hard Carson tried to stop them, they didn't want to listen. They overlapped each other, laughing as they spoke, not once noticing that she was actually in Carson's office staring right at them.

They talked about how all the men were afraid to be near her…though they were grateful to have something soft to land on when they fell in the gate room. They made fun of her glasses—assuming that might be the problem, but one of them drew another conclusion…something closer to the truth. She used the glasses to hide her face.

The splotchy, telltale discoloring on her cheeks and forehead forced on her from years of battling acne…something she'd been embarrassed about her whole life and had no luck in fading no matter what she tried. Not even make-up helped to cover the spots, so she hid as best she could. And yes, she was grateful her skin was smooth and pock free, but the reddish-brown hyper-pigmentation didn't make looking in the mirror any easier. The large framed glasses came in handy. In fact, she had twenty-twenty vision…she didn't need them for any other reason.

"And that annoying, fake Marilyn Monroe put-on of a voice. Who does she think she's kidding?" Radner said.

"That's enough!" Carson bellowed. She'd never heard the doctor so angry before. It even shocked her into attention.

"It's okay, Dr. Beckett," Alessa said, leaning against the door jam of his office, arms folded in front, eyes blurred with booze and tears. The Scotch had done its job…given her enough false bravado to make it through the next couple of minutes. All five men turned to her, four of them looking decidedly guilty and the fifth one having nothing but compassion for her. That made it hurt all the more. The pity stare. "I have something to say as well."

Swallowing her tears, Alessa walked ever so slowly toward them. She stopped in front of Major Lorne. He wouldn't meet her eyes. She hadn't heard his voice adding to the cruelty, but he hadn't put a stop to it either. Suppose it could be because of the gunshot wound…but his face burned red anyway. She cleared her throat and the sound made him look up. He must've seen the hurt in her face—she was never good at hiding her emotions—because he flinched. "Thank you…for saving my life today."

Lorne's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. He nodded almost imperceptibly.

She turned and took in each of the men, though the other three refused to look at her. "I thank all of you. And you can rest assured that none of you…or your comrades will ever have to do it again." She looked back at Lorne. His wide eyes narrowed as if she'd just threatened them. "You're free of my reign of terror and my annoying—" her throat tightened painfully but she couldn't help it. "—fake voice." Tears dripped from her eyes, she couldn't stop them by that point and she really didn't care anymore. She smiled at Lorne and he looked as if she just slapped him. Shaking her head, she moved quickly for the door. "Be safe, gentlemen…I wish you well."

Before the doors closed behind her, she heard Lorne: "Ow! Doc!"

"So sorry, lad…did that hurt ya?" Carson growled with fake concern.

Covering her mouth the keep back the sobs, Alessa ran to her quarters and let the door slide shut before she sank to the floor and cried.

O-o-O-o-O