Anakin woke up.
Padme did not listen to me: She will not go to Palpatine. I tried to be gentle with her, but she caused me to be weak. This cannot continue... Yet Anakin now felt the same weakness; desperate to hold on to the things he truly loved, despite the coldness and darkness he embraced the fateful day of yesterday where he sliced Windu's hand and pledged himself a Sith. Conflict surged within him... still... one moment he thought something - the next he thought another... it was tearing him apart... Padme, I'm sorry.
"Anakin…" He heard Ahsoka.
"Where is Padme?" He asked.
"She's gone for… some fresh air." Ahsoka replied, after pondering a bit; she knew it was best not to inform him of her call with Senator Organa.
"What? What fresh air? Where… are we… anyway?" He asked, rather confused.
"Eriadu. You had brought the ship to this planet."
"Are you all right?" Ahsoka said.
Anakin looked at her and thought.
"I don't know. I don't think I am."
"Anakin, you said you trusted me… those months ago… when you rescued me. Do you still?" Ahsoka asked as gently as she could.
Anakin considered her for a short period.
"Yes, I do. But…There's nothing you can do…. Ahsoka…" Anakin said her name.
"Why have you gone this way, Anakin?" She asked with quiet courage.
"I have pledged myself to Sidious. There is no going back from that." Anakin said, darkly.
"You killed… younglings." She tremored.
Anakin knew he had to answer.
"I had to." He said. "Sidious would not have hesitated in chasing them soon after... they had nowhere to go."
After more hesitation he said, "I gave them... a... Clean Death."
Ahsoka breathed in. She couldn't believe Anakin was talking so heartlessly. The murder of children. Some anger fluttered in her, but she knew at least that if he could not control it, she had to.
"I had no where to go to either, Anakin. I survived. You robbed them of that. Their chance to make their way. Make their way as I did."
Anakin did not respond to that.
"The Jedi are an evil and corrupt order, Ahsoka." He fiercely said. "The Clone Wars raged on because of their foolishness and short-sightedness. And they aren't any different from the Sith in craving power.
"They tried to assassinate the Chancellor. I reported Sidious - but I could not let that happen..."
He knew he could not conceal anything... of his mind, where tense strands of thought and emotion all merged and diverged together. Inflaming him.
His most intimate secret was out in the open before the three of them now- his relationship with Padme, which he kept hidden even from Ahsoka - no one could know - this was his life - what sustained him.
But he also never wish to lay any burden on Ahsoka; she did not need to know. She was close to Padme. They always bonded well. She was in his life, almost as much.
Anakin made up his mind and laid it bare. "I had to stop Windu. Sidious is my only hope - I can't let Padme die."
Ahsoka was speechless for a while. She then tried to reason with him.
"Anakin, these visions. I've seen them. Aurra Sing tried to harm Padme. It was a trap. Palpatine may not have this power. He is clearly using and instigating you."
Anakin had to accept what Ahsoka was saying; he had to consider it; but found himself unable to do it! What about his mother? Where the Jedi held him back. If it weren't for them... he could have gone sooner. And she wouldn't be dead. His visions were inescapable. And that's why he had to do all he could to stop them. He would not live otherwise.
"They came true for my mother." He said, straightly.
Ahsoka did not know what to say. After some time, she said. "You said you trusted me, Anakin. I don't know what to do myself. But we can find a way.
"The last thing you said to me before I went to Mandalore was there's always luck. 'Good thing I taught you otherwise." You told me.
"We can still find a way."
Anakin looked at her, in a newer light then he had always known his Padawan to be. Who often endeared him. 'Snips'. he listened on, to whatever she was saying - things that were impossible! A childish, naïve belief - that things could just end happily - that the Jedi and he could ever work besides each other and that Sidious could so easily be destroyed - if he would let a possible hope for she who he loved to ever fade away. Anakin once thought carefree - He would not anymore.
"Why did you suddenly collapse while flying the ship, Anakin?" Ahsoka asked. "You said, 'Don't take me to Obi-Wan. Not yet' What did you mean?"
"I've told you!" Anakin vehemently answered. "I don't remember saying that!
"I was flying and... I just felt the force weaken over me… I hadn't slept for weeks. I just couldn't stay up."
"Stay put, Anakin." That all Ahsoka said. "We have to find a way. Any way."
"I can't leave the Emperor. And I don't know if he knows where I am.
"And. You could be in danger too, Ahsoka. He cannot know I am with you. The longer I stay the more imperiled we all are."
"I know, Anakin," she said... "But... think of Padme for now. Just be there for her, for now... we will see what we can do next."
Ahsoka is right… Anakin knew. I haven't thought about how Padme is feeling right now. I have to. Anakin nodded soberly - feeling some further calm and clarity.
Ahsoka felt it too.