Life

Flesh, bone and blood. The basis for most, if not all of life on the most understandable level of course. There are things that make it up beneath it, of course, but they aren't… alive. Carbon isn't alive. Oxygen isn't alive. But cells are. We are made out of things that are alive, which in turn are made out of things that aren't. What are we then? Are we a walking mass, a legion of barely sentient or outsight unaware beings, or just a bunch of minerals and proteins that are about to fall apart at any moment? We could be both, or neither, such is the mystery of life, and what it is made of and comes from.

The only thing we know for certain about life, is that we die. Sounds depressing, but it is true, and to many, that finality, that sense of running out of time and limit to the amount of things they can experience is enough motivation to end it prematurely, or to enjoy it to the fullest. It's bizarre how people react to life: how some treasure it, and others don't; specially when you consider that we all share the same world, same basic needs… Why are some lives more valuable than others, then? Is it just another sign of the never ending hypocrisy of sentient beings, who enjoy such wonderful gifts, yet bear terrible curses? Are we free to do what we want with our lives? Is there an inherent meaning, a grand design of fate? It's not unlikely… after all, we are only truly aware that we are alive when we realize what is inevitable.

Come next morning, Aiolos is still there, and it keeps happening every single day, again and again. He's still here. He's still staying in my apartment, where I've been slowly and surely wasting away for the past four years, and the only thing I can think of is the fact that I am illegally holding a pokémon with me, which barely nobody knows about, much less my neighbours, and I couldn't even feed him properly. Could he even eat chinese food? He didn't seem to be sick, and he'd been eating the stuff for the last six days. I am not going to lie and say I don't care about the poor thing, I'd feel terrible if I ended getting him sick or worse due to my carelessness… but again, what I supposed to do? I buy some pokesnacks people'll get suspicious, and then I'll have the cops up in my business. I'm already short on money as is…

All of these things and more are what go through my head as I lay shirtless on my couch. It's a sunday, ok? Leave me alone. Besides, I'm trying my hardest to make these entries as less sarcastic and scorny as I can. Reading back on the last one, I sounded like an insufferable snob, which I'm not, I'm just a clinically depressed young adult with absolutely no prospects in life that lives off of mexican food and chinese takeout. And now I have another mouth to feed, and a pokémon's no less… God what was I thinking.

I sit up from my position and sigh, putting my shirt and jacket on, looking at Aiolos. "Going for a walk to get lunch. Do you want something specifically?" He knew very well what we were eating, so he looked up, patting his legs together as he looked at me, smiling and raising a paw.

"Roll! Roll!"

"2 Spring Rolls?" I made the motion of him eating them like a sandwich, to which he nodded. "Gotcha." I smiled and left the house, locking the door behind me to make sure he didn't go anywhere I didn't know. Still, not even two steps down when I heard a door swinging open behind me.

"Hey, you! Kiddo!" I turned around, lo and behold, it's my neighbour, Brandon, a middle aged man, a real piece of work he is. Divorced his wife and moved to the appartment next door. He's not a bad guy, but he ain't exactly an upstanding citizen either. We mostly ignore eachother's existence… except for whenever he catches me about to leave my house.

"Oh, hey Brandon. The usual?"

"Yeah." Out from behind him walked a medium sized Mightyena, raising my head to greet her. "Just walk Nana around for a bit, will ya? Kinda busy with something. I'll give ya extra today if you take her to the park or something." I rose a hand nodded, giving him my promise as the Mightyena caught up to me on the stairs, and the man closed his door.

I didn't say anything until we were at the latter landing. "So, how's the week been?"

"Some more self pity, but at the very least he's trying to find a job and get his life back together... He's seen better days, all in all." The Mightyena answered shortly. She and I were good friends: I took her out for a walk and she can do anything she wants, I get paid and have a partner to talk to. "And what about you?"

"What about me?" I could feel her sly look, glancing up at my face. "Just the usual really, been a decent week at work, the other day the database crashed and they asked me to fix it, so I felt actually accomplished for once!"

"Mmmmhmmm?" She hummed, looking up at me smugly. "Well I don't know about you, but I can smell a new smell on you~ It smells… young and innocent, and full of spirit~" She was a real tease, and talking in hums and giggles.

"Nana, where are you going with this…" We reached the bottom floor and I opened the door for her, letting her outside as we walked together. I didn't have a leash or any of the sort, so we had to be careful and avoid running into the cops, or they could fine me and Brandon. "I don't want you to get any weird ideas, it's just… a new shampoo that I'm trying out." Smooth.

"And what's the name of this shampoo?"

"Umm… Jeau d'or." I just made that up. I suck at writing and imagining things, I told you.

"Oh, really? Well, we use the same shampoo and it doesn't smell like anything like that. In fact… it smells like tauros shit."

"First of all, ew."

"You know I didn't mean it literally. Now out with it." She insisted. I didn't want to spill the beans… but her being a pokémon, and a pretty smart one too, I decided to tell her.

"Right… so a week ago, while taking a walk, I ran across a Riolu being attacked out in the forest."

"Wait… you took in a wild pokémon?" I nodded. "Are you nuts?! You're not a trainer, and you don't even have a license to…"

"I know, I know… but I couldn't just leave him there, he was being attacked by a pack of Mightyena, this being the reason I didn't ask for your help earlier… and the poor thing is like, three years old."

"Three years… and what about its parents?" I shook my head. "I see… Well, it could be worse, he could be older, or bigger, a Riolu is much easier to handle and hide."

"What." I stopped and looked at her, as she kept walking for a bit. "You think I'm going to be taking care of the little squirt? You shitting me?"

"What, do you to give him away to some heartless trainer that will use him for those barbaric fights, or shove him in a daycare or to be experimented on? Aura handling pokémon are pretty sought after for those reasons."

"Yeah, well the alternative is him staying with a guy that couldn't even take proper care of a fucking goldfish!" I wasn't too keen on the idea of taking him in, I wanted her to know that before she thought of sicing the poor kid on me. "Besides, so far I've been feeding him chinese food, and I don't know if he can eat that or not."

"Well, you better step up your pokémon caring skills, because that Riolu is your responsability… And yes, he can eat chinese food, but if he's really that young you should find him something healthier to eat, like berries."

"So stay away from pokesnacks?"

"Yes, of course! Those are the pokémon equivalent of chocolates! They're absolutely terrible, and make us insanely fat."

"You don't think that's because you barely go out for a walk?" She glared at me, and I just crossed my arms behind my neck, smiling. "Zing!"

"Whatever… point is, we can't take care of another pokémon, Brandon only has license for one pokémon, me, and you…"

"I don't have the money to pay for a license, Nana."

"You have one, you went through secondary, right? You only need a degree that proves that, show it to them at the town hall and they'll give you your license for only one pokémon."

"And then what, I have to buy it specific food so it grows up alright, doesn't get sick, probably go to the doctor's every so often to check up on him, get a pokéball, which are already expensive enough for me and… you see where this is going?"

"To me it sounds like you really don't want to take care of him and don't give a damn about what happens to him." Her reply was cold, and fell silent after that, not pushing the issue any further. On one hand, I was glad she stopped, on the other, I did feel just the tiniest bit of remorse creeping up. "You humans… you are all the same."

"Oh not this again…"

"You don't care about us anymore, never have. We were always animals to you, nothing but pets with super powers that you could throw into fights and get some money out of us hurting each other. At least back then there used to be people who preferred to stand by our side and not treat us like animals." She went on a short rant to express her distaste for the situation, while I looked around, trying to avoid her gaze.

We were in the middle of the park, and if she wasn't driving the point across, then everything else I saw was: to our right, there was a fight going on, a Blaziken and a Marill were duking it out, throwing flames and jets of water, with a wide circle like arena around them, outside of which was everyone else was looking at the fight from a safe distance. All around us, there were many trainers with their pokémon, all of them with pokeballs around their belts, none of them talking or even considering to look at them, some didn't even have them out of their pokeballs in the first place. Humans talking with humans, pokémon sometimes talking with others of their kin, no interaction between the two races.

We stopped next to a bin and let her go off to do her things while I kept looking, turning to the ground. There were some pidgeys pecking the ground in front of me, eating tiny breadcrumbs that someone else had thrown them. "Do you lot ever consider that the hand that feeds you is the hand that enslaves you?" I suddenly cut in, interrupting their little feast and conversation. They looked at me, puzzled, and quickly flew away, sighing as I laid back and looked in front. There was a couple in front of me, no pokémon around them, but their kid did have one, a Growlithe, who he was petting and playing with. The young pup was none the wiser either, and I am not one to judge if he actually valued his companion's friendship… but he most likely wouldn't think of him as anything more than a pet, given I couldn't see its parents, most likely in their pokeballs.

Feeling sickened, I look up, and even there I can't escape the constant barrage of injustice that befalls the pokémon, staring right at a sign numbering certain rules to take place within the park:

1. Always have your pokéball and leash with you.
2. Clean up after your pokémon or pet after it is done.

3. Battles only take place within the designated areas.

4. No pokémon or animals allowed near the children.

All of these laws were accompanied by simple boxes with symbols in them to get the message across. If there was anything that could make your pokémon feel even more degraded, it was probably those four laws, as if they weren't able to discern where they can or can't do their business, or that they shouldn't attack human children or pokémon children… I closed my eyes and huffed, a knot in my throat as I think about Aiolos and what he must be doing now at home… alone…

"Uuuugh, this is the worst fucking thing…" I hold my head in my hands and rub my eyes, lowering them and spotting Nana in front of me. She hopped on the bench and sat besides me, quite a rare sight all things considered.

"I see that you're having just a bit of remorse."

"Oh shove it. You know why I keep insisting I don't want to take care of the little guy: I'm not a good caretaker. Can barely take care of myself, let alone someone else, specially so young. I mean, for crying out loud for the first five days I've been feeding him nothing but chinese food, and I didn't even know if he could eat that stuff."

"So that's the crux of the issue? You don't trust yourself enough to do it?" She knew exactly where to press me. "You don't think that you have what it takes to take after another life?"

"You're making it sound as if I'm about to become a father."

"In a sense, you are." She came out, surprising me. "You have to take care of him, educate him, feed him… It's like having a kid, or the closest thing to it. You could say it's very similar to taking in a pet, but unlike an animal, this one is very much sentient and can talk with you… which probably puts-" She stopped talking as a dog walked by, a german shepherd, sniffing and growling in her direction as he tugged on his owner's leash, but was eventually taken away, leaving her slightly flushed. "Things, into perspective."

"Yeah, I get that." I was holding back a laugh from seeing that interaction. "Only makes it even harder for me to accept: Do I look like a guy that would make a good dad?" I asked honestly, unsure of what her answer would be.

"Right now, when you got out to the street disheveled, without even combing your hair, and looking like you haven't seen the light of the sun in several days… no. But I've seen you in better moments, specially when things turn south."

"Eh, you don't mean that… Honestly, when I first came here, thought I'd have better chances in the big city, I'd have better chances to find a place to belong, or have a better life… guess it wasn't the case. The only thing I've found is a shitty job, mediocre people and pokémon here are worse off than they ever were back home. Been seriously considering going back and just forgetting about everything."

"Well, if you ever did, you could take Aiolos back with you."

"Now ain't that an idea… If I did that though, it's not like I'd have anyone waiting for me. All the friends I have back there I left behind for a reason. This was supposed to be my spiritual trip of sorts, try to find something new… Which I did, and it turned out to be worse. Going back now would mean taking away and leaving behind even more stuff, and going to the countryside… I'm not sure if that'll be better or worse for the poor kid. Seriously, you're better off taking care of him."

"Even if I'm a Mightyena, which are the species that attacked him in the first place?" I fell silent. "Did you at least try to look for his parents?" I shook my head in response. Something in my gut told me that an extensive search wouldn't have yielded any results. "Why? They could be around where you found him in the forest."

"Well… there's one detail I haven't mentioned yet." I looked around. "Let's go somewhere a bit more private." She was puzzled when I said this, but rose up anyways, and followed me. Not a lot of places you can take someone that would consider as even remotely private in a public park, but the small pond seemed to have no one around it, save for the original magikarp. I looked at her and simply moved my lips, telling her of what I had found on the back of his paw.

"What?!" Her reaction was instant, and I rushed to silence her. "Yes. He has that."

"But… he's a pokémon! How does that…"

"I don't know how it happened, or what it implies… but it's definitely something huge. That mark's always bad news, no matter where it is, and to see it on one of you guys… it's even more troubling."

"What could Yggdrasil want with a poor Riolu anyways?" I shrugged. Those guys were bad news, period. "Wait… is that why you wanted to sic him on us? So you can get rid of whatever connection he has with them?!"

"No no no, honestly, if they find him in your apartment or mine, doesn't matter, whole block is going to be questioned. We need to avoid drawing any attention from elementals… I'm going to start working on hiding that mark as best as I can, first and foremost."

"So you can cover your ass?"

"Yes, but also for his own sake." Her ears perked up.

"So you are going to take care of him?"

"For a bit, when he's old enough to fight, he'll be flying the coop."

"What? What do you mean "old enough to fight?" Pokémon don't just instantly learn how to fight, they're taught! Those discs you humans like to throw around are just glorified training videos that your force us to sit in front of for hours so we learn how to use them!"

"Wait… really?"

"Yeah! It's a rip-off!" She laughed, while I just sat back, looking shocked. "Either way, I don't see you as a trainer who would… you know, train him and teach him how to fight. I've never seen you life a finger."

"Well, I'll have you know I did martial arts for a while. I dropped out because I didn't really fit in with the others… never have after all." I leaned back, and crossed a leg on top of the other. "Funny."

"What is?"

"We've done this a hundred times almost, but it's always strange that we are a human and a pokémon, completely different, even opposed species, and just having a normal conversation."

"Well, that's the issue: it's weird, it really, really shouldn't be. Granted, I haven't met any other human who can understand and talk with pokémon like you can… but it's people like you that bring me hope." She sighed. "If only you weren't such a lazy asshole."

"Hey! Rude! True, but still rude!" I complained, earning a chuckle from the old canine. We talked for a few more minutes, then started to move before we got too many weird looks from passerbies. Since we were still outside, I decided to go buy food for myself and Aiolos, and had Nana tag along. "Might as well, y'know? You're already with me. More walking never hurt anyone."

"Yeah, I suppose that's true… and I can make sure you buy berries for Aiolos."

"Not gonna buy those, too expensive."

"Oh you WILL buy him berries. Last thing I want is for him to get fat, like you are!"

"I'm not fat!" I stood still and grabbed my slightly protruding belly… sure, I wasn't in tip top shape, but I wasn't exactly fat either! She wasn't convinced either, and growled as she swayed me from going to the chinese restaurant and pushing me to the restaurant.

"Get in there, and buy and cook him some proper food for once, you lazy human!" I wasn't about to start arguing with her: deep down, I knew she was right, nobody could live off of solely badly made chinese food, not even I did, so I decided to change the angle of the situation, and looked for healthier things: chicken was the easiest and healthiest meat, slices of swordfish, a few lemons, broccoli… some soy sauce and curry too. I got those berries that Nana insisted on so much… and before I knew it I was already way over budget. I returned the fish and left with what'd just bought, finding Nana curled up and standing watch near the entrance. "That's it?"

"Yeah, what do you think I am, some sort of millionare?"

"Wow, they really don't give you that much."

"It all gets sucked up by the rent. I'm probably going to have to ask for a longer shift…"

"That's not good, that means you will barely be there to watch over Aiolos." Nana's observation was exactly what I'd been wanting to avoid… ironically enough, I needed to work more time than before when I should instead spend more time at home.

"I'll figure something out." Was my answer, already regretting this decision on quite an alarming amount of levels. It was already an unpleasant experience, having to go to work in the afternoon, dealing with all their crap… but I needed double the money now, perhaps more. Regardless, we started to head back home, passing through the heart of the city, as always, crammed with people on the sidewalk and cars going up and down, beeping and loud blaring noises.

Among all of these we came across what looked like a congregation, and a quick peek into the mob would reveal a pokémon fight going down there, a Mr. Mime and a Larvitar fighting and tackling each other while they were cheered on by the humans around them. Not a single pokémon was watching this happening, and as me and Nana passed by I could feel her growing more and more uncomfortable. She didn't like fighting, she'd always been a companion pokémon. A pet, almost, but she'd been treated with some respect, which she couldn't complain about. As we walked by however, the sound of a siren blaring would stop the fight, and all of us would look at the road, where a cop was already rushing out of the car. The mob scattered in seconds, mostly made up of teenagers as the pokémon were engulfed in red lights and returned to their pokeballs.

Nana and I got a move on, since I didn't have her ball and it was illegal to have a pokémon without one, turning left in an alleyway and making our way to the older part of the city, where we lived. As we walked out, we passed in front of a temple, glancing up and seeing that same pattern that Aiolos had on the back of his paw: the star, and the ten circles. Yggdrasil. "What do you have in common with these people kiddo…" I muttered in a low voice, Nana glancing up and looking at the emblem as well.

We finally reached home and went up the stairs. First and foremost, I knocked on Brandon's door, and once he opened it he thanked me, gave me twenty bucks, and I said goodbye to Nana. Her response, which sounded like a bark to Brandon, was actually a "Don't forget to call me if there's any trouble", to which I smiled and walked over to my apartment, opening the door and slipping in.

Aiolos was on the couch, on his back, in a position not unlike the one I'd been in before I'd left, but unlike me, he was peacefully sleeping, and looked kinda cute while he was there. I took care to not wake him up as I slipped around and to the small kitchen. It'd been ages since I'd last used it, so I washed everything, then got to cooking. The little guy must've smelled the soy sauce or curry, because not long after I started, I felt something tugging on my trousers, looking down and finding him staring up at me with that cute innocent face of his. "Hey, little guy. I had a chance of plans, and I decided to cook us something today… a bit healthier, at least. I also bought you some berries." I pointed to the berry bag I'd placed on the counter. "So go nuts!"

Aiolos' face was one of pure glee when he heard there were berries, and quickly attempted to climb up the counter, gripping the handles of the cupboards… before he slipped and fell down on his butt, sobbing quietly. I rolled my eyes and lowered the bag to him. It was a mixture of berries, and they weren't fresh… but the little guy didn't care, he started eating them, specially the Oran Berries, which I guessed were his favorites. "Heeey, so you like Oran Berries eh?" I asked, reaching down to grab and eat one Pecha berry. Tasted just like a peach, but not as sweet, the Riolu smiling and clapping his paws together. And just for that smile, I would try to make sure to work that full shift and get all the money I could.

Because at the very least, he deserved a decent life.

O accursed one,

born of body and soul,