Emily stood in the back of the full elevator as it headed up to the BAU. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she attempts to calm her.
She wasn't sure how she felt about being back here after overhearing a conversation between JJ and Penelope on Friday evening.
But it was Monday morning and the BAU is where she needed to be. Where she was expected to be. The comments she had heard were upsetting but she wasn't going to avoid JJ and Garcia. Letting them know they had that power over her. She did not walk away from the hard stuff.
Though she wasn't sure what to make of the email exchange with Garcia the previous day. After emailing to ask about the information she need to complete the consult, Garcia had emailed back within 5 minutes with the search parameters she had used.
After Emily had sent back a 'thank you' message, Garcia had replied with a request for lunch one day during the upcoming week. The request had been unexpected and Emily didn't know how to process the invitation. Was it a sincere request or a way to extract more information for gossip sessions with JJ?
After considering the request for most of the afternoon, Emily had emailed her back asking if they could have coffee together one day instead. It was a compromise that felt right at the moment remembering the promise she had made to herself the previous Friday about being more open with the team.
A short coffee would be more limited in time than lunch but would give Emily an opportunity to profile Garcia's intentions. If she was, in fact, sincere then they could plan another longer outing later in the week as Garcia had initially requested. If not, well then she had been to enough official events over the years to be able to make it seem like she was saying a lot without really revealing anything new, especially when it would only be for 15-20 minutes.
Emily had been hoping that the weekend would give her enough distance from the BAU but she wasn't sure it had been enough time. And it could have been except for the disastrous date she had on Saturday night that had left her shaken.
One of the areas that psych had focused on after the case with Doyle was if she was dating. Given her less than stellar history with choice in men, it hadn't been high on her list as she tried to reclaim her life.
When that area turned out to be the last bridge to cross, she had agreed to a date with a guy she keep bumping into in the coffee shop. Overall it hadn't been a negative experience. He had been one of the few men she had dated who weren't alpha males and had been willing to let her take the lead on the relationship. However after a few weeks, it became increasingly clear that they wanted different things out of a relationship. He had wanted them to work towards becoming serious while at this point Emily just wanted to be able socialize with a man without panicking. After talking it out, they chose to part ways.
However by that time, psych had already cleared her for full duty.
She had dated a couple of men after that though neither had gotten past the second date. When she arrived in DC, she recognized that it would be harder to find the type of guy she was interested in dating. DC had a higher amount of alpha males per capita and she wasn't ready to be with someone who expected that level of control.
Aaron's unexpected reemergence in her life had initially put her off kilter with dating. It brought back all of her worries about why he left and never contacted her again. But weeks later, after being asked out by Peter several times, she agreed. Aaron had moved on and she was trying to do the same. But after this past weekend, Peter was gone from her life.
When Saturday afternoon had come around, Emily knew she should have cancelled even if it resulted in him deciding not to reschedule with her again after they had already rescheduled twice. She wasn't in the head space for a date. But she had unfortunately ignored that voice and at first, she thought that maybe this date had been exactly what she needed.
That was until she had made a reference during their conversation about Kilgore Trout. At that point their conversation came to a stall as he looked at her blankly. He then mocking her subtly about a reference he clearly hadn't gotten which had made her feel worse.
After seemly noticing her discomfort, he changed the discussion back to a topic she had made clear she didn't wish to talk about - her family. And the evening had just gone downhill from there ending abruptly after he had back her up against a wall while holding her hands and tried again to kiss her which had resulted in a near panic attack. He had backed off as soon as he noticed her reaction however it still felt as if she had regressed from the experience.
As the doors opened, Emily stepped off the elevator and headed into her desk. She silently gave a sigh of relief that no one else seemed to be in the bullpen. She needed a few minutes to settle in before needing to interact with the others.
After dropping her bag on her chair, she pushed her workout bag under the desk. She draped her coat over the back of the chair before heading over to get a cup of coffee. As she turned the corner and walked into the break room, she nearly collided with Hotch who was also there for coffee.
"Good morning, sir." Emily said quietly.
"Prentiss." Hotch said to her nodding before returning his attention to his coffee. He wasn't sure the best way to bring up what happened on Friday.
Emily picked up a mug off the shelf and moved over to the pot as she said, "I need to bring you a file. I had to verify a search parameter with Garcia and well I couldn't get the information Friday afternoon. She emailed me the information yesterday. Sorry for the delay."
"Is that the Nashville consult?" Hotch said looking back over at her, noting her nervousness.
"No, I dropped that one off with my other files on Friday. Or at least I thought I did. This is the Miami consult." Emily replied as she appeared deep in thought.
"I'll check when I get to my office about Nashville. I haven't finished signing off what you, Morgan and Reid handed in on Friday. That's why I'm here so early. Just bring up the Miami one as soon as you can." Hotch said as he moved away from the counter and walked towards the door.
"OK, sure. Just let me get some coffee and I'll bring it right up." Emily said before turning back to her coffee.
"Good. Also in the future..." Hotch waited until she turned back around before continuing, "if you are going to hold onto a consult to gather additional information, please leave me a note so I know. It's not always possible to get information right away when you need to talk to someone else but then I know where it is and what the delay is if it is needed in the interim."
Emily nodded as she said, "I will be sure to do that in the future."
"Good. Are you OK this morning, Emily?" Hotch asked having noticed her nervous demeanor during their conversation.
"I'm fine, sir. Why do you ask?" Shaking her head, Emily answered.
Hotch internally rolled his eyes wondering why they were back to him being sir. And not once but twice this morning. He had been trying to encourage her to use Hotch instead as sir just didn't sound right coming from her given their previous relationship. "You just seem a little stressed this morning."
Emily shook her head and gave a small smile that didn't fool either of them before answering, "no, I'm fine. It's just Monday morning."
"Ok. I'll be in my office." Hotch says as he walked towards his office. He had given her an opening if she wanted to talk about what had happened on Friday and she hadn't taken it. At this point he couldn't do anything else.
####
Leaving Garcia's lair, Morgan was walking back towards the bullpen feeling bad all weekend about how he had left things with her Friday evening.
He felt better after their talk. It had been encouraging to hear that what he had said on Friday had really made an impact on her. As they were talking, he had needed to give her a hug when she had gotten teary about how bad she felt about what they had said about Emily.
Garcia had also mentioned excitedly that she had asked Emily to have lunch one day to talk and apologize to her. Garcia then sighed and told him somewhat muted that Emily had requested coffee one day instead.
Morgan frowned at what Emily's response had been. However after a couple of minutes, it struck him what Emily had done. She was willing to give Garcia another chance while trying to protect herself. Knowing that Garcia's intentions were to improve her relationship with Emily, he was sure that the coffee would be a good start for the women.
He was just glad that after what Emily had overheard on Friday that she was willing to give Garcia a chance this quickly. It was encouraging and showed him he had been right on Friday. That Emily did want to be part of the team.
As he entered the bullpen, Morgan saw the object of his musings in the break room pouring herself a cup of coffee. Or at least trying to as he saw her spill more on the counter than what she had manage to get into her cup as he approached.
When she mentioned not wanting to talk about her personal life because she didn't know who to trust, Morgan chuckled a bit at the statement. After what had happened with Hotch and JJ in Georgia, Reid's attitude since they'd returned from Georgia, the conversation he knew she overheard between Garcia and JJ the previous week and Hotch's overall attitude towards her since her first day, he wasn't surprised Emily didn't know who to trust.
And as someone with his own trust issues, Morgan knew telling Emily that she could trust him wouldn't work. Who to trust was something she was going to need to figure out on her own. And she had been with them long enough now to know the team dynamics so if it was JJ and Garcia's conversation was what was bothering her so much, she wasn't going to complain about it, especially not to him.
So he was surprised when after moving less than ten feet away, she called out to him and revealed that she felt she had messed up a date. It was clear from the look in her eyes that there was more bothering her than what she had said but Morgan already knew there was more. But what was important was that she was opening up.
When Emily mentioned about being able to hide she was a nerd, he tried hard hold back the laugh bubbling to the surface. He had been certain she was a nerd by the middle of her second week after he overheard a conversation she was having with Reid on statistical analysis. A discussion where she was holding her own with him.
Morgan hadn't stayed long enough to be noticed because there was no way he was being pulled into a discussion on one of Spencer's favorite topics. But if Emily needed to believe that no one knew then in interest of not bursting her bubble and have her close back up, he would let it go. For now.
When she hesitantly mentioned what she had said on the date, his attention peaked in recognition of Kilgor Trout . When he answered to her reference, it had been stunning how quickly she became animated about Vonnegut and his works. It was a pleasant surprise from the Prentiss who had most been calm and composed while not revealing much about herself since she joined the team.
Hotch's interruption about needing them in the conference room was well timed as it did not allow the conversation to become awkward if they came to a lull. Now that she had opened up, Morgan did want her to shut down again.
####
Hotch walked grimly back towards the bullpen after leaving JJ's office. The team has a new case. Three teenage girls and just last night a couple.
As he is ready to enter the bullpen, Chief Strauss stops him. He didn't have time for this. This case couldn't wait for her endless drivel about how important this case is. He knew that. That is why he wanted to get the briefing started so they could leave.
As he listens to Strauss, he notices as Emily spilled coffee in the break room for the second time that morning. He watched as her and Derek briefly talked before Derek moved away to head to his desk and then stopping when she said something.
And finishing with Strauss, he walked into the bullpen and towards them to let them know they had a case. As he did he noticed that they are discussing something quite animatedly. What could they be talking about? Morgan was frequently a jovial person but Emily. She was still warming up to the team.
Since joining the team, most conversations revolved around work and in their field, there was usually nothing to smile about let alone a beautiful laugh that she just gave in response to what he just said. Unfortunately in just a couple of minutes he was going to have to pop their happy bubble with this case.
As he walked closer and overhearing a few words of their discussion, Hotch rolled his eyes knowing exactly what they were talking about- Vonnegut. He found out years ago that Vonnegut was Emily's favorite author. And while Hotch had also read all the books and enjoyed Vonnegut's work, he did not have the same passion for them that Emily did. Much to her chagrin. However, it seems like she had met her match with Derek.
While he was silently happy that she found a connection with someone on the team. He did need to grumble to himself-why did it need to be about this topic? Now they would both be talking about it.
####
At the end of Detective Wear's funeral, the team walks back toward the SUVs. Reaching the vehicles, they turn and see Derek standing in the same place with Emily standing next to him as they talk.
Hotch looks over at JJ and catches her eyes. She holds his glance briefly before looking back over at Derek and Emily. Then turning back to Hotch she sighs and nods to him before walking over to door and climbing into the SUV.
Hotch watched her go hoping that after this and the talk they had Monday morning when he had verbalized his support for the work Emily was doing, JJ would make peace with her being on the team.
####
On the jet on the way home, Hotch is sitting diagonally from Emily. As he looked up from the paperwork in the front of him, he noticed the Vonnegut book she was reading. Before he could turn back to his paperwork, Emily looked up, surprised to see him looking at her.
Before he can turn back to his paperwork, she asked, "Do you like Vonnegut? If you'd like you can read it after Derek." As she waited for his answer, he could see the small smirk on her face along with the look she was giving him remembering that Vonnegut wasn't his favorite author
Hotch shook his head before said, "that won't be necessary. I've read that book." As he said that, they could both see the recognition on the face of the other. This was the last book they had read together during their relationship and had had several discussion about.
And then just as quickly Emily nodded to him as they looked away from each other as Hotch resumed his paperwork while Emily returned to her book annoyed with herself that she had brought up the memory for both of them.