On the drive home, Hotch worked to calm himself. He didn't want to take this anger home. It wasn't fair to Haley or Jack. He didn't want to be the husband or father that came into the house enraged, making everyone feel as if they needed to tiptoe around him to evade his wrath. Hotch had grown up in a house like that wanted things to be different in his household.
He had returned from Flagstaff earlier that day after traveling with the team. He was looking forward to seeing Haley and Jack after being away for a few days.
He was planning on waiting until Jack was in bed before talking to Haley about the suspension and the resultant consequences.
She had been pushing for his promotion for months expecting that not only would it be the next rung on the ladder but also would have him travelling less. But now the possibility for promotion was gone for now.
He knew she was going to have questions and react strongly when as he explained. He didn't think Jack needed to be awake for that dreaded conversation.
He would be home for two weeks and was planning to spend as much time as possible with them during that time but then he would be returning to the BAU.
He hoped.
He hoped since Strauss hadn't held back that she was going to do everything she could to prevent that.
And as much as he wanted to trust her right now Emily role in Strauss' plan was an enormous unknown.
As he considered the suspension it had been surprising though not unexpected given Strauss' feelings about his potential advancement. A promotion that now would not happen in the coming weeks as he had expected. A permanent stain on his record.
From the moment he walked into Strauss' office, he had a bad feeling about how the meeting was going to go. And as the meeting progressed, that did not change.
He knew the case hadn't gone well. She had jumped on the poor outcome and capitalized on it. And while most of the points that Strauss used to justify the suspension weren't made by him, he was the Unit Chief and therefore ultimately responsible.
Though when they were both back, he and Gideon were going to need to talk out what happened and whether Gideon's comment at the airstrip questioning their work was a weak moment or if his outlook had shifted.
He was also upset with himself at giving that profile of her. He stood by everything that he said however it hadn't helped in the context of that meeting. She wasn't questioning his skills as a profiler but of his leadership. If anything his skills as a profiler was one of the topics that she found threatening.
He sighed and shook his head as he stopped in the garage. Time to go in and see his family.
####
Day 1 of 14
When Hotch had gone inside, the house was empty. It was not unexpected as he knew from their conversations that as Jack had gotten older, Haley had been seeking out more activities outside of the house as well as taking advantage of the spring weather.
He didn't text her that he was home because hadn't wanted or expected her to change her plans for the day only because he was home early. He would have plenty of time to spend with them over the coming days.
After changing out of his suit and repacking most of his go-bag, he had made himself a late lunch before wandering around the house as he attempted to find something to do. Having free time was almost unheard of him as there was generally always paperwork he could do.
Not finding anything, he sat on the couch and turned on the TV. He flipped through a lot of unappealing daytime television before he got to a baseball game with the Nationals starting in an afternoon game. As he watched, he couldn't remember the last time he had been able to watch an afternoon game during the week.
The game was just ending when he heard Haley pull into the driveway. He met her at the door and when she saw him, she looked shocked. She was carrying a sleeping Jack on her shoulder.
She walked completely into the house and closed the door before saying, "Aaron, you're home. I didn't get a message you were back yet." as she took out her phone and looked at the screen.
Hotch explained, "we flew back earlier today. I didn't want you to change your plans because I was home." He walked up in front of her and smooth Jack's hair as he asked, "how has he been?"
Haley smiled and rubbed Jack's back as she answered, "good. Just a busy day. Can you take him? I still have a couple of things I need to get out of the car."
Hotch shook his head as he stepped back and over to the door as he replied, "I can go get them."
"NO" Haley blurted out forcefully surprising both of them. She paused and then said, "no Aaron, I've got it. I'll go. You haven't seen him in a few days. It's past his bedtime." She walked over to him and helped shift Jack into his arms without waking the sleeping toddler.
"OK, if you're sure." Hotch answered before walking to the stairs.
In Jack's room he could not hear the hushed voices outside the house working through a change in plans.
When Hotch walked back downstairs, Haley was in the living room rearranging items in her bags.
Once she was at a stopping point, he asked her to come sit with him. He then explained about his suspension and that he would be home for the next two weeks.
Initially Haley reacted favorably to the news that he would be home for two weeks particularly when he mentioned that he would not be called in like he had when it was vacation the previous year.
She then rattled off several activities that her and Jack had that she didn't want to miss or reschedule. He continued that he wasn't asking her to completely change her schedule though he did want to spend some time with her and Jack before he went back to work.
When the subject of him going back to work came up, she became somewhat annoyed. Her mood accelerated into agitation once he told her that he was no longer eligible for promotion soon. She ranted for several minutes about his job before storming upstairs to their bedroom.
Hotch waited a while before also going up to bed to give her some space having been expecting that reaction.
####
Day 2 of 14
Hotch found himself alone in the house again as Haley and Jack were out with friends. Not used to unscheduled time in his day, he was quickly getting bored. It didn't seem right to ask Haley to completely rearrange her and Jack's routine because he was suspended.
As he sat in the living room, he again looked at the text message that Emily had sent him the evening before. He hadn't seen it until this morning as he had put his phone away when he was talking to Haley. He was relieved to get the message and felt somewhat more certain that he would be able to return to the BAU in a couple of weeks.
However, he still was considering the question of how Emily fit into the situation. Had she backed out of spying on the team for Strauss? Or had she been an unwitting pawn until recently? Or had Strauss just been trying to get under his skin yesterday?
He thought he knew why Emily was in the BAU but as he thought back to what Strauss was saying and doing around when Emily was hired in the context of what was going on now, he was questioning everything again.
But for now he couldn't do anything. He could only trust that Emily was sincere in what she said in the text message and would keep the team safe. He planned on having a conversation with her as well to get answers to the questions this situation had brought forward.
But for now, he was home. He sighed and decided to go and find something to do in his home office- research, a cold case that he usually had little time to delve into, or… or…
As he sat at his desk, he opened the desk drawer and was greeted by a list. Pulling it out, he looked at the extensive list and suddenly realized it was the 'honey-do list' that Haley had started when he was supposed to have two weeks off the previous year. Unfortunately that vacation was reduced to 36 hours when Randall Gardner threatened the team.
As he reviewed the list, he could feel some of the tension leave him. He had been excited last year to work on it. Working through this list would hopefully smooth things over with Haley. After making some notes and a list for the hardware store, he headed out to his car.
A couple of hours later, he had just finished repairing a section of moulding when he look again at the list confused.
When he had returned from the hardware store, he had found several of the projects on the list already repaired. However, Haley never mentioned hiring a handyman and there wasn't a withdrawal from their account for the supplies.
But he shrugged, he wasn't going to ask and upset her further. She knew how cautious he was about people coming into the house, particular since Jack was born so he didn't expect it was she hired someone without letting him know. Most likely, her father was over and she used cash for the supplies.
Either way, he expected that he would get through most if not all of it before he returned to work. If he couldn't get everything done, he would talk to Haley about finding a handyman and after Garcia gave a green light, hire them to finish any remaining items. If all went well they keep them in mind for future projects.
But for now, the next task he was going to tackle was fixing the light in the hall coat closet. Opening the door, he tried the switch and immediately noticed that the light was indeed still not working. He noted that in order to reach the casing around the lightbulb, he needed to take everything out of the closet.
For the next few minutes, he relocated all of the containers and baskets before going on to the coats. The process for actually fixing the light then took less time than unloading the closet had.
As he was putting the last few coats back into the closet, he saw a jacket he didn't recognize as his. Holding it up, it was definitely a men's jacket. This observation was reinforced by the whiff of cologne he smelled on it. It was also not the cologne that he remembered Roy wearing though as he held up the jacket, the size was wrong for Roy as well. He didn't recall Haley mentioning Jessica having a boyfriend.
Before he could think anymore about it, he heard Jack crying as the door from the garage opened immediately followed by Haley calling his name. Quickly putting the jackets into the closet, he closed the door and called out to her that he was coming as he walked away.
####
Day 4 of 14
Hotch gathered needed supplies from the garage before stopping in the kitchen where Haley was cooking and Jack was having a snack in his highchair.
When he walked in Haley looked up and asked, "what are you working on now?"
Still holding the supplies, he said, "I'm going to work on the guest bathroom. After that I'm going to work on the trim in the dining room. Wish me luck." before he walked out of the kitchen.
He had no sooner walked into the guest ensuite and put everything down on the counter when Haley rushed in holding Jack. From her rapid breathing, he knew that she had run up the stairs after him.
Walking away from the supplies, he stopped in front of her, putting his hands on her arms before asking apprehensively, "what's wrong?"
Haley shook her head and responded as her eyes rapidly glanced around the room, "nothing is wrong, at least not in a bad way. I wanted to stop you before you started here. Jack is going down for a nap soon. I don't want you to be mid project and have to stop."
Hotch looked at her nervous demeanor not sure what to think. He had been starting now so that he would be done before the time that Haley had been putting Jack down for his nap in the days that he had been home.
But he also knew that depending on the specifics of the day, Haley would adjust his nap earlier or later. He just didn't remember her mentioning anything going on today.
Besides Jack's room was on the other side of the second floor of their house and this task wasn't noisy.
But if she thought Jack was almost ready for a nap, he wasn't in a position to argue. And he hated having to stop mid-project so he would just postpone this task. Hotch knew that if he continued working while Jack was down for his nap and he woke up for any reason, he would never hear the end of it.. There were plenty of other items on the list to work on today.
Before he could say anything, Haley remarked, "I did want to ask if you could take a look at the hose in the backyard. It seemed to be leaking when we were watering plants this morning."
Hotch's attention was peaked at the observation. They had just been discussing a few nights earlier that their water usage had been abnormally high for the last few months. He had inquired if she had noticed any drips or anything leaking.
Nodding, he answered, "let me go check on that now. Thanks for letting me know" before turning back to the supplies he had brought up to work on the bathroom.
Haley shook her head and answered, "I'll put this stuff away before I put Jack down for his nap. You go on and check on what is going on outside."
Hotch smiled at her, picked up his tools and headed back downstairs.
An hour later, Hotch was sure that this wasn't the leak that was causing the increase in water usage. While the spicket was off when he first went outside with no leaks evident the hose started leaking as soon as he turned it on. However even with it on, the leakage was only a small amount that stopped when the hose was completely tightened. To be sure he had taken the time to check each connection to assure there wasn't another area that Haley had been alluding to however everything else checked out.
After washing up in the mudroom, he was frustrated. He had to postpone one project for seemingly no reason as he could hear Jack still awake and in the playroom while he had just spent an hour on a wild goose chase.
The guest bathroom would need to wait because Jack would most certainly be taking his nap shortly. He sighed before returning to the garage to get what he needed for the dining room.
####
Day 7 of 14
Hotch was sitting at the desk in his home office looking over a cold case. This had been one of the few times he had done research since he had been home. Haley had taken Jack out for a playgroup. His impression was that it was the same group as the previous week.
As he reached a deadend on the file with the information he had, he stood up and stretched. Now that he was done with the distraction, he decided to go back to his chore list.
Since Haley had Jack out of the house, he decided to go back to the guest bathroom to work on what he was planning before Haley interrupted him a few days earlier.
Walking out of the office, he went down to the garage to get the tools that he would need. When he went into the bathroom, he noticed that the supplies weren't on the shelf that he expected. It was the only spot in the guest bedroom and ensuite that was out of Jack's reach.
As he walked back into the hallway, he opened the closet across the hall where they store all the supplies and linens for that guest room. After looking through the entire closet without finding what he needed, he returned to his home office to get his cell phone to send Haley a text asking where she had put the supplies.
After a few minutes, he noticed that she saw the message however there was no reply. After 20 minutes of waiting, he decided to go onto another task on his list, remembering from the previous week that as soon as they arrived home, Jack would be going down for the night. He had missed his window to get it completed while they were out and that frustrated him.
When Haley arrived home almost an hour after he sent the message with an asleep toddler, Hotch took him to put him in the crib. Haley joined them in Jack's room as he was putting on Jack's pajamas after changing his diaper.
After they walked out of the room after Jack was in his crib, Hotch asked Haley about the location of the supplies.
Confused about her sudden nervousness, he waits until she turns towards a linen closet by Jack's room. Once the door was open, she handed him a pile of towels while she pulled the supplies out of the back of the closet. It was a location where he wouldn't have found them.
After showing Hotch, she walked away heading back downstairs, leaving him baffled while still holding the pile of towels.
####
Day 9 of 14
Hotch was annoyed as he drove Haley, Jack and himself home after having dinner with Haley's parents. Having known Haley since high school, he had had many interactions with her family over the years. Unlike the family he grew up in, Haley's was very close.
Unfortunately as time went on he had found that there was very little that Haley didn't share with her mother. That extended to even details about him and their relationship that he wished would remain between them. On more than one occasion he had expressed to Haley his discomfort on intimate details of their marriage being shared however this was not an opinion that Haley shared and refused to adjust.
When they had arrived for dinner initially everything had been fine as Hotch and Roy supervised Jack while Haley went to help her mother and sister in the kitchen.
However, once they reached the table, conversation quickly changed to his suspension. After only offering some basic details that he was sure that Haley had already shared with them he explained that he was spending the time working on various repairs around the house and spending time with Jack and Haley.
At his answer, Roy then began to vent about his job which Hotch found frustrating. When he and Haley had reconnected after he moved back to Virginia after being assigned to Seattle, he was already an FBI agent assigned to the BAU. When he had gone to Roy to ask for his blessing before he proposed to Haley they had spoken about his work with the BAU and that he planned to continue as a profiler.
As Roy was venting, Haley's mother interrupted. She then brought up that since he was no longer eligible for promotion they wanted him to consider leaving the FBI and taking over their store now that they were looking towards retiring. That the change was more conducive to the family life that Haley wanted she said as she gave Haley a pointed look. However the request was obvious a surprise to Haley as well Hotch as she loudly protested.
The distraction as Haley debated the idea with her parents gave him time to think. He knew how important the store was to the Brook's family. It should be considered an honor for them to ask him. They had started the business shortly after they were married and had spent almost 40 years growing the business along with their family. From the time that he had known the family, he recalled that the store had given them the flexibility since they had a few employees.
He didn't foresee that he would be successful as a storekeeper. He did not share the same outgoing personality that had made Roy so outstanding in the role. If anything he felt his personality and tendency to be suspicious would make him less successful.
BUT, he really had no interest in business. Or owning a store with a cafe. His brother Sean maybe though he was enjoying working at the restaurant he had moved to NYC but running a store held no appeal for Hotch.
His focus in law school had been criminal law. He had only take the business law course required to graduate never as an elective because he knew that wouldn't be his focus.
Hotch had declined to follow in his own father's footsteps as a criminal defense attorney because he wanted to forge his own path. While the suspension had been a hiccup, he wasn't ready to give up his work at the FBI.
Before he could say anything, he was surprised how quickly Haley put a kibosh on the idea. When her mother first mentioned it his first thought had been that it was going to be a difficult discussion with Haley before he even got to speaking to her family. So he felt some measure of relief that she was squashing the idea immediately.
Was Haley finally accepted his role in the FBI? He shook his head as he considering her reaction to his suspension and the delay on a promotion because of it.
Or was she acknowledging how far outside his comfort zone and experience the change would be, leading to her to push her parents for a better solution for their life's work?
Or was there another reason?
####
Day 11 of 14
Hotch had just hung up the phone suddenly feeling better about his prospects with the team. Haley was out with friends and he had put Jack to bed a couple of hours earlier. As he was sitting at the desk in his home office, his cell phone had rung. He was pleasantly surprised to see 'JJ' pop up on the caller ID.
After checking in on him, JJ had filled him in on how the team was doing. She had told him about Strauss haunting the bullpen and keeping close tabs on Emily as Unit Chief. Hotch wasn't at all surprised to hear that Strauss was only having them work on consults. He was concerned that there Strauss wasn't allowing Emily to make contact about a case to see if they could be invited though JJ hadn't shared any of the particulars about the situation.
Hotch listened closely when JJ explained the various reactions his suspension and Emily's temporary position as team leader. As she explained, he felt his guilt rise that he was partially responsible that she was once against struggling with trust issues by some members of the team. He wasn't really surprised at how JJ described how everyone was coping. He knew that once he was back, he would need to talk to Emily and apologize for being short with her the day he was suspended.
While he had JJ on the phone, he asked her if she could have Garcia do a check on the house landline. Since he had been home, he had had more than a couple hangup calls and was beginning to become apprehensive. Fear for his family because of his job that had only increased after the Fisher King case last year. Randall Gardner using his personal demographic information to have someone walk up to his front door and deliver something to Haley had deeply shaken him.
He was hoping to have a better idea of who was making them either before he went back to work or within the first day or so after he got back. He needed to make sure his family wasn't in danger.
After taking down some of the times and dates Hotch remembered that the calls had come, JJ said she would talk to Garcia the following morning. If there was anything immediately worrisome, one of them would call him back as soon as possible.
With that taken care of, Hotch thanked JJ for the call and told her he would see the team in a few days.
####
Day 13 of 14
Hotch went into his home office and closed the door. Unable to keep still, he started to pace in the small space. He and Haley had just had an argument about his job. It had been brewing for days and as he had been preparing his go bag to go back the next day, the argument had flared up.
Haley had again repeated that she wanted him to be done with the BAU. She had shouted at him that he had several other offers outside of the FBI and he kept refusing them. That he kept insisting on staying at the place that kept him away from his family and constantly in danger. That she had been willing to pull extra at home as he waited for the last few months to be promoted but she didn't think she could or even wanted to do it for another year.
As she was talking, Hotch listened to what she was saying. He had no doubt that his long hours at the BAU made things difficult for her particularly with a young child. And he had already been planning to move away from the BAU in the coming months.
He sighed and offered a compromise. He wasn't prepared to take any of the positions outside of the FBI as none of them really interested him at this point. However when he went in the next morning, he would talk to Strauss about his options for a lateral transfer within the FBI.
He had had interest from other departments especially as Unit Chief for the last couple of years. A couple of those departments were worth giving a second look as the hours were generally better and had a comparable position in the FBI as the BAU so the promotion timetable would be similar.
Haley had initially been stunned that he had agreed to transfer however after a couple of questions she was again insisting that he look outside the FBI at positions he knew existed.
At that point he fired back that he was willing to compromise but he wasn't prepared to look outside the FBI unless nothing reasonable could be found. That he had 14 years of his career invested in the FBI and wasn't ready to just walk away. Not unless he had a well thought out plan in place.
At that point, Haley had grabbed her purse and walked out the front door, slamming it behind her. Hotch had then gone up to his office not quite sure what had just happened.
AN: The next chapter(s) will covered around In Name and Blood. I will be pulling the pieces together from the last few chapters. I'm excited about it and expect it to be very long so it may end up being split. I have been working on it and will post as soon as it is ready.