When Aaron Hotchner woke up the next morning or err a few hours after he had finally been able to lie down he was initially confused with sleeping on the couch in his home office. As he sat up and looked around his office, the events of the evening before quickly came back to him.
He sighed and ran his hands over face as he sat there. The sleep he had gotten had done little to reduce his fatigue. But it was a new day and he needed to get up and head into the office. After showering in the hall bathroom near Jack's room and dressing, he, as a lawyer, considered what he wanted to do at the house before he left the house that morning not knowing when Haley planned on returning and for what purpose.
Given the reckless display he had walked in on the previous night, it didn't seem as if Haley cared what he knew. Knowing that, he didn't know what she would try next so he decided to do what he could legal to protect himself. He moved all of his work attire into the closet in his office and over packed his go bag. He also secured certain documents and legal paperwork in a lockbox in his office. Walking around the house, he collected a few items that didn't have much monetary value but were personally valuable to him and placed them in his office as well. He then left the house after locking the door to his office.
At the BAU after getting a needed cup of coffee, he started working on unpacking his office at least enough so he could move around easily. Thankful that Emily had caught up on the team paperwork before his return, the only outstanding items for him to address that morning were consults that he needed to delegate to the team as well as finish the case file from Milwaukee. So unless something came up that gave him plenty of time to finish unpacking his office and call Haley to set up a time to talk.
As the morning progressed, the team became increasingly nervous when Reid was uncharacteristically late. Their feelings of being on edge only increased with the knowledge that at the airstrip the evening before he had mentioned his plans of going to Gideon's cabin to find the elder profiler. Now both now unaccounted for by the team. Fortunately, before Morgan could paced a hole in the carpet, Reid arrived looking out of sorts and mumbled an apology before sitting at his desk, just staring at the files on it.
His quiet and distracted demeanor quickly concerned all of them as it was reminiscent of the first weeks after they returned from Georgia. He gave little in the way of explanation about why he was late and what he had found.
Just after lunch Hotch had called him into his office to talk. He was hopeful that Spencer would open up more in a private 1:1 meeting about what he had found at the cabin. It had taken some time for Spencer to explain all that found at the cabin. As he did, he shared the letter that Gideon had left as well as gave Hotch Gideon's badge and gun that had been left with the note.
After Spencer left his office and went down to his desk, Hotch tried to get back into his paperwork. However he couldn't get what he just learned about Gideon. He had worked with Gideon for a long time. Much longer than anyone else on the team.
He knew Boston had been a turning point for Gideon with the guilt he felt over the deaths and injuries of other agents. But he had worked his way back only to be put off balance by the violation of his safe place by Randall Gardner as well as Elle being shot in her home on the same case. Gideon had stumbled a little when Reid was kidnapped however he seemed better as did Reid over time.
Just a few weeks ago, Hotch was considering that Gideon may be ready to resume being Unit Chief when Hotch was still considering applying for a promotion. But walking into the gruesome murder scene in his apartment, another safe space compromised by his work, had deeply affected Gideon.
As Hotch had read the letter he left for Spencer, it was clear that Gideon had been more affected than any of them had realized. Then at some point during the case in Flagstaff, the final fragile strands holding him to the BAU had broken.
Hotch shook his head as he thought of his old friend. He had agreed to the promotion as Unit Chief and to observe Gideon two years earlier to support him so he could remain doing the work he was so skilled at. Hotch had tried to be a stronger support for Gideon and the team to lean on when needed but ultimately it hadn't been enough in the end. All any of them could hope for now was that he would find the peace he was looking for and that he would contact them to let all of them know he was OK.
Looking up from his musings, Hotch could see that Spencer still wasn't engaging with the work in front of him as he just stared at his desk. He considered what his thoughts had been a few days earlier about how the team would react to Strauss' plan to remove him and Gideon from the BAU along with Emily's resignation.
For now Hotch knew he was most certainly staying in his current position. He hadn't been completely sure before he got home last night but after what he found there, he wasn't going to allow Haley to dictate the path of his career any longer. He was also certain that Emily was serious about staying as well considering she asked as she was being treated for an injury sustained in the field.
How each would react and how it would shape the future of the team. Hotch hoped that Gideon leaving like this wasn't what would break Reid. After everything that the younger man had been through he didn't want him to walk away too. For the team to lose him now that his mentor had left unexpectedly.
He groaned as he felt the buzz of his phone in his pocket. Pulling it out, he smiled slightly. This was another reason he knew she was staying. It was the second text message he had received from Emily that day reporting that she was fine and bored out of her mind at home.
As he considered the situation an idea came to him. Hotch picked up his phone to call his injured agent.
Spencer and Emily had been friendly since she started with the team and had become close friends as well when Emily had helped Spencer with his addiction after Georgia. She had seen Spencer at his worst. Right now Hotch was hoping that that experience would help her get through to him. Get him talking. Encourage him to open up to the rest of them. Make sure he knew that the rest of them were still there for him.
Emily had quickly answered the phone but immediately halted her diatribe about being fine when she heard the tone of his voice. He then explained what Spencer had learned at Gideon's cabin and how he was behaving in the office today. They agreed after some debate that Emily would come to the office with the goal of having Spencer leave with her for the rest of the day.
About a half hour later Hotch noticed Emily tentatively walk into the bullpen and up to his office. As she walked into his office, Hotch was relieved to see that she wasn't as pale as the last time he had seen her. Except for the gauze bandage on her forehead, she didn't appear to have any lasting effects from her unfortunate encounter with the 2x4.
They talked for a few minutes before he handed her her credentials back. He ignored her grumbling when he informed her she would get her gun back the next day when she was cleared for desk duty. Even if the team was called out on a case for the foreseeable future, she wasn't going to be going into the field.
Before she left his office, he did let her know that if she and/or Reid needed the time tomorrow to just to let him know. She nodded and promised to keep him in the loop before slipping out of his office.
He watched from his window as Emily went down into the bullpen and started to engage with Spencer. After a few minutes, he noticed Spencer nod before gathering his jacket and bag then leaving with Emily.
After they left, Hotch called the rest of the team into the conference room and explained what he now knew about Gideon. Emotions ran high in the room at the ongoing upheaval in the BAU.
While Hotch and Emily had ultimately reversed course and were staying, from all appearances, Gideon was just gone. When they got off the plane from Flagstaff, he had only mentioned taking some time off not that none of them would see or hear him from him again. However at that time it must not have been Gideon's plan since Reid had mentioned that they were supposed to play chess in his office a few days earlier but Gideon hadn't showed.
Other than that the rest of them hadn't heard from him and Emily hadn't mentioned seeing him either in that time frame so Hotch was assuming that Gideon could really be anywhere considering when Spencer had spoken to him on the phone.
Once the meeting ended and the team went back to their workspaces to process the news about Gideon's sudden departure, Hotch took Gideon's gun and badge that Reid had left with him and went to talk to Strauss.
As he walked back to the bullpen after meeting with her, he remained surprised by Strauss' reaction to the news. She had been empathetic about Gideon's departure. Given they were now a team member down and Emily was not medically cleared for the field, Strauss informed him that she was putting the team on stand down.
As he sat back down at his desk, he shook his head as he looked at the clock. It was now late afternoon and he had yet to call Haley. Taking out his phone since delaying the inevitable wasn't going to help anyone, he dialed her number.
####
The rest of the team was already in the office when Emily and Reid arrived together the next day.
He didn't appear to be as withdrawn as the day before, though he was still quiet. The rest of the team had closed ranks and worked to support Spencer as they all processed their own feelings.
Given the team's current state and his own personal distraction, Hotch was grateful about their current stand down. After assigning consults, Hotch worked in his office except for case briefing.
He was trying to mental prepare himself for his talk with Haley later that afternoon. After he had called and they had set it up the day before he was annoyed that she insisted on it being in the middle of his workday. Of most people's workday.
After the meeting was set up, he formed his plan. He determined quickly that it would be best to not mention that he knew anything about Thomas Hannon or her relationship with him or his suspicions about what he found at the house. It was too soon and he wanted the results from the evidence collection in his hands first.
For now he was going to meet with her and see what her intentions were. In the long run, he felt that approach would be most beneficial for him as they went forward. The only topic he wasn't going to compromise on was him getting to spend adequate time with Jack particularly since the team was on stand down.
####
When it came time to leave to go meet Haley, Hotch gathered his briefcase and walked down into the bullpen. He dismissed the rest of the team as well since it had been a difficult week all around. They all looked at him curiously for a few seconds before deciding not to ask too many questions and enjoy an early end to the workday.
He arrived first at the place they had agreed to meet. Haley had wanted to meet to be at her sister's initially before trying to push it to be at their house. Something of how she was suggesting locations rubbed him wrong. After vetoing both, he suggested their current location. It was quiet, semi private and as he was not sure what the bad feeling was had video surveillance.
When Haley arrived, they both sat down.
####
They had been talking for a few minutes when Haley stood up and yelled at him, "no Aaron. Nothing will change. I'm tired of your job taking over our lives."
Hotch took a deep breath as he worked hard to hold onto his patience. He looked over at her and reminded her calmly, "I had my transfer paper in and spoken to the Section Chief about other positions. You know that. The position she suggested had the hours you said you wanted."
Haley looked over him and huffed before venting, "yes, you did. But then the BAU called. Then they called again and again. And then you left to go help them with the case. It is never going to end. It doesn't matter where you are or what you are doing. They are going to keep trying to pull you back in."
Hotch sighed and shook his head before answering, "I told you before I left it was a preexisting case and my transfer hadn't gone through. It was a unique situation. Gideon had disappeared and wasn't reachable. Prentiss had quit. There were only 2 profilers there. They needed more eyes before anymore women were killed. I was back home less than 38 hours later and you were already gone."
Haley rolled her eyes at him before challenging, "what will be unique situation next time, Aaron? They are never going to take their claws out of you and you are never going to let them."
Hotch could feel himself tense up as he replied, "that's not fair Haley. You knew what was involved with the BAU when we got married. I explained it before we were even engaged."
Haley turned and glared at him as she yelled back bitterly, "no what's not fair is my husband never being home. That every time I plan something the phone rings."
Hotch took some deep breaths as he was starting to find it more difficult to keep his temper under control before responding, "that's the part that comes with being Unit Chief. I told you it was going to be longer hours and more work when they asked me to take over. You encouraged me to take the position."
"Yes, I did. As a stepping stone to the next level." Haley griped.
Hotch sighed as he answered, "And that was the plan. Advancement doesn't happen overnight. And it doesn't happen unless there is a position that opens up." He was careful how he responded as he wasn't ready for her to know that he had already committed to staying with the BAU. He still wanted to know what she was up to.
Haley's eyes narrowed as she spat, "but you're not going to advance, Aaron. You screwed up and got suspended."
Hotch shook his head as he had already explained the circumstances to her as he did again, "I did not screwed up. A case did not go as planned and as team leader I took the fall. I was suspended because the Section Chief sees me as competition for her own ambitions. That is why she suggested White Collar. There is little advancement out of there."
Haley looked at him carefully before asking, "has your transfer gone through yet or did you get sucked back into the BAU?"
####
Realizing that they weren't getting anywhere as they just rehashed the same arguments, Hotch looked over at her and asked directly, "Haley, what do you want? You've wanted me in both in a position so I can advance and also in one with a strict 40 hour work week. That doesn't exist."
Haley sat back and gave a slight smirk before she said slowly and calmly, "OK Aaron, this is what I want. If you want me back, this is what you need to do. Quit the FBI. Not just the BAU but the Bureau. And then you need to cut contact with everyone in both. You're a lawyer. Go back to practicing law. Your dad's firm has offered you a position several times now. Take it."
Hotch looked back at her working hard to conceal his shock. He couldn't believe Haley had just suggested what she did. In the years that they had known each other, he and Haley had spoken many times about why he had followed the path he did for his career. She knew as much as he did about how unthinkable what she had just asked was for him.
When he was a practicing lawyer, Hotch had worked as a prosecutor because he wanted to make his own name as a lawyer. He had no desire to be a defense attorney as he father had been. But he had found even the work in the prosecutor's office was too close to his father's legacy.
The FBI had given him the potential to create his own legacy and reputation. And in the 13 years since he joined the Bureau, he had gradually been doing just that. Involvement in the formation of hostage negotiation protocols and writing the book that the FBI as a whole used. Serving on an international task force. Finding the logic behind profiling and having his insight noticed by one of the godfathers of the BAU during an important case when he was assigned to Seattle. Having that same SSA offer him a position in the BAU and act as his mentor ever since.
All of his professional contacts he had made for the last 13 years were linked with the FBI and/or the BAU. To sever all those connections would hinder his work regardless of where he when next.
Even if they didn't always see eye to eye, the team was important to him. He couldn't just walk away and never have contact with them again.
The most striking red flag was Haley's insistence on joining his father's old firm. She knew from conversations they had had over the years that it was a no go for him regardless of how many times they asked.
He had been asked repeatedly about being Nathan Hotchner's son. And the last thing Hotch wanted was to be compared to his father. The father who had abused him. Who had had affairs. Who had spent his career as an attorney who pulled out all the stops to get his clients off.
He had resolved early in law school that he wanted to spend his career fighting for justice for victims and putting criminals away. While he agreed that the accused deserved representation he could not condone the tactics he had witnessed his father's old partners using during cross examination of witnesses. He didn't want to become that person. That isn't the type of person he wanted his son to see him become.
His son. Jack. Hotch had suffered for years in the hands of his father. Both physical and emotional abuse. It only ended when his father became ill with cancer and Hotch was sent off to boarding school.
The statistics of adults who were abused as children becoming abusers themselves worried Hotch everyday. He didn't want to become his father, either professionally or personally. He was terrified to walk closer to that path now that he had a child himself. Hotch loved his son with his whole heart. He never wanted to hurt him.
This fear combined with losing his BAU support system troubled him. If nothing else since joining the BAU, he could always count on his colleagues to call him out when needed even if he didn't like it at the time. Rossi. Gideon. Cooper. Katie. Ryan. The dynamic was different now with being team leader but at times JJ, Emily and Morgan had all challenged him. No he couldn't give that up. He wouldn't give it up.
But as he looked at Haley as he considered it, he could see that she knew that too. At one point he was willing to transfer away from the BAU but not the FBI. It would irrecoverably damage his career to completely break off contact with everyone from the FBI if that was even possible considering how many cases he had worked on over the years.
No this was nothing less than a poison pill. Haley clearly didn't want to work things out with him. As he had learned a couple days earlier, she had moved on without telling him. She keep wanting to have him jump through hoops for her to stay when in reality it was clear she had no intention of staying. She wanted out of the marriage but didn't want to take responsibility or blame for it.
He was pulled out of his thoughts as Haley said, "you don't need to answer Aaron. I can see what your answer is." as she stood up and walked away.
Hotch watched her walk away wishing that he had what evidence he needed to confront her. But now he knew what she wanted and what she was planning. Now it was time for him to get what he needed to in order before she made her next move. And based on how this went, he wouldn't be waiting long.