Hello and welcome to THE KONAHA TALENT SHOW CHAPTER 2! Whoa, and look how fast I updated! Probably the fastest I ever will…(Cricket: suuuure it is) here's a recap for those just tuning in, or those who forgot.
Recap:
Tsunade stared at the list of people who wanted to try out.
"Hell…no…
"Look at these competitors!" Tsunade said in a shaky voice showing the judges the list.
"Ooooo! Sasuke's on there! I bet he's going to do great!" gushed-
"Really? I think he'll choke on his bile when he sings!" said a cheerful squeaky voice, "I mean, he's a winner! So, let's start judging!"
"…." Tsunade said backing away from the judge.
"Ok, first competitor is…"
End of RecapNow let's start the story!
WARNING! MAJOR OOC-ness! I do not own Naruto
"Haku?" Tsunade shrieked, tremendously surprised, "Didn't you die?"
"If I did, there's no reason you would know. Besides, when I heard Konoha was having a talent show, I just HAD to come!"
"Ok! I'm going to do…. SEXY NO JUTSU!
And before Tsunade, Orochimaru, or Tohru (YAY! Fruits Baskets!) could stop Haku, he had already yelled HAREM NO JUTSU! And hundreds of beautiful women stood before the judges. And I don't mean beautiful women, I mean GORGEOUS. They were so pretty, that it made Tohru, and Tsunade lesbians (at the moment) and Orochimaru actually, for once, look at the opposite sex.
Damn! Why didn't I put the curse seal on HIM instead of Sasuke! WHY? WHY? WAAAAAAAAA! Whimpered Orochimaru. Ah, well. It's not to late. Orochimaru started placing his old "love-bite-no-jutsu" hand seals, but Tsunade distracted him.
"Y-y-ou will definitely be getting a call back Haku!" Tsunade stuttering, barely getting the words out of her mouth and covering the blood coming from her nose.
Haku marched out of the room with his nose in the air, incredibly pleased.
"O-ok, our next competitor is, GAARA?
Gaara shuffled into the room looking very sheepish.
As Gaara walked in, Orochimaru was picturing the 12 year old ripping off his shirt and doing a strip tease (the pedophile!) and also was thinking this-
"This job pays for itself!"
Tohru thought to herself, "Oh my GOD! He kinda looks like Kyo! And probably acts like him too! Note to self: must sleep with 'Gaara' some time this week."
Tsunade gushed "He's so CUTE! I wish he would be my pet panda!" then Thought, " Wait, a sec, why is he trying out for a talent show?
"I don't mean to be rude, but why do you want to be in the talent show?"
"Because…mufflemuflenmnndnnhb…."
"What? I didn't quite get you."
"mnbmnkkjjbmnbnbb"
"Huh?"
"I WANT TO BE LIKE KELLY CLARKSON! OK?"
"Yep, I was right! He's exactly like Kyo!"
"Oooo! Feisty one! Just like Kimimaro!
"Okay Gaara….Now what will you be singing?"
"mknknjhbn…"
"Oh, forget it! Just start singing!"
Gaara took a deep breath, lifted his head, and then slowly opened his mouth, and released a melody so breathtaking, that it can't be described by humans, and sang:
What is love? Oh baby don't hurt, don't hurt me no more, Oh baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.
What is love? Yeah, Oh I don't know why your not there, I give you my love, but you don't care. So what is right, what is wrong, give me a sign…
What is love? Oh ba-
"That is enough Gaara" Tsunade face faulted.
"Did I do good?" Gaara asked afraid she was going to reject him.
"Good? You didn't do good!"
"Calm down Tsunade-sama!" Orochimaru said gently patting her arm.
"You were STUNNING! You'll be the star of the show!" Tsunade cried with stars in her eyes.
"And then when he's rich and famous and comes to thank me and says 'How will I ever repay you?' And I'll say, 'you can be my pet panda FOREVER! MUHAHAHAHA!"
"Tsunade-sama? Your scaring me…" Gaara said a little bit over a whisper.
"Huh? Oh, sorry, I thought that was in a thought bubble…Anyway! Good job Gaara!"
"YAY! I can't wait to tell Temari and Kankuro!" smiled Gaara as he skipped out the door.
"Oh this should be a good one! Next competitor is… NARUTO!"
"Hmmm… not as sexy as the last 2 contestants…"
Naruto walked in wearing a banana suit and had that usual stupid grin on his face.
"Now, what will you be doing Naruto?" Tsunade held her bottom, because she knew she was about to laugh her ass off.
"You'll see…" Naruto beamed not noticing everyone was bursting with laughter on the inside.
It's peanut butter ramen time! Peanut butter ramen time! Peanut butter ramen time! Peanut butter ramen time!
Now Where he at? Where he at? Where he at? Where he at?
There he go! There he go! There he go! There he go!
Peanut butter ramen! Peanut butter Ramen! Peanut butter ramen! Peanut butter ramen!
Do the peanut butter ramen, peanut butter ramen, peanut butter ramen with a baseba-
"Snrx… Phhpptt….BUHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHA!"
No one could take it in anymore Naruto was just TOO funny. And he looked so adorable in that banana costume.
"Did I get in?" questioned Naruto not sure if they were laughing AT him or laughing WITH him.
"Hells yeah!" all the judges bellowed at once.
"WHEEEEEE!" Naruto shrieked, then ran around in circles in a childish manner, and inadvertently tripped, and fell out the broken window (remember how Shizune fell out a window in chapter 1?)
"Oh well, he probably fell on Shizune"
"Mm hm" nodded the other judges in agreement not caring that one of their performers could have been injured.
"Hey, haven't you noticed that every competitor we've had so far, has made it into the show?" Tohru inquired.
"Yeah, so?
"Well, don't you think we're being a little too lenient?"
"…Maybe… What does this have to do with anything!"
"I'm just saying that we shouldn't let EVERYONE in, or there will be no one to watch it."
"Hmmm… I think she's right Tsunade-sama."
"I GUESS we should be could be a little more strict…"
"Ok, so how about the next contestant we don't let in?"
"Why does it have to be THE NEXT CONTESTANT? Can't it be like, the 10th one?" Orochimaru whined.
"NO YOU IMPULSIVE PILE OF SHIT! I mean, no silly! Then that would be 4 people in a row that we just randomly let through !"
"Okaaaaaaay." Tsunade AGAIN edging away from the judge and whispering to Orochimaru, "This girl scares me! Tell me again why we chose HER instead of Jiraiya?
"I don't know. Why DID WE!" Orochimaru yells.
(Glares in some random direction)
"YEA! Why DID WE!"
(Glares in same direction)
Me: "I'm sorry! I thought you guys would be HAPPY that you didn't have a PERVERT for a judge!"
(Everyone gets blue lines, and stares in different directions)
Orochimaru says forcing a smile, "Anyhow let's get back to the
story!"
"Yeah, WITHOUT JIRAIYA!"
Me: "stupid motherf------…"
Tohru stared at the judges not hearing a word they had said, only seeing them glaring in random directions.
"Uhhhh…. Okaaaay. Next competitor is Hatake Kakshi."
Kakashi walked in being his usual laid back self, reading Icha Icha Paradise as usual. He looked up and realized he was in the judging room, and placed his book in his pocket where kunai's and weapons SHOULD have been.
"You!" screeched Tohru.
"Um, yeah, you…What's your name again?"
"TOHRU HONDA!"
"Oh yeah, you…" still not sure who the hell she was.
"Don't you remember me !"
"Yeah, aren't you the girl from the ramen shop?"
"NO!"
"Then I don't know who you are."
"I'm the girl from Fruits Baskets!"
Flashback…
Tohru was walking down the hall heading towards a certain man's room.
"Oh I can't wait to confess my love to Shigure!"
Tohru silently strolled up to Shigure's door and heard…moans! And the words 'Mmm…Kakashi' and then more moaning.
"Uh-uh…Shigure- san? Are you ok?"
The young girl burst through the door and saw a gray haired male, and her love doing the nasty on the floor. They both gave surprised looks up at Tohru.
"Sh-Shigure-san!"
"I'm sorry Tohru, but I'm gay"
But by then, Tohru had already fainted.
End of Flashback…
Everyone stared in awe and paralyzed at the news that Kakashi was gay. (Cricket-Pfffft. Yeah right. They were surprised)
"Oh yeah! I remember now."
"You stole my one and only love! (Except for Kyo.)
"Yeah, but that was a long time ago."
"No it WASN"T! It was last week!"
"Oops. I was thinking about the other time last month…"
Tohru's knee's weakened from the news and fell to the ground but hit her head on the table and was now laying on the ground unconscious.
"Oh well, she was scaring me anyway." Tsunade said plainly.
"So what will you be doing Kakashi?"
"I will be doing something NO ONE ON EARTH has seen me do."
"What is it?" Orochimaru asked hoping it was along the lines of making out with Orochimaru, or letting Orochimaru rub barbecue sauce all over Kakashi's body, you know, something HE'D expect.
"I'm going to take off my mask."
Yep! And there's the end of chapter 2! Again, thank you Cricket-mac-wocky for the grammar help (Cricket: Could you at least TRY to fix your grammar?). And I do not own those songs up. Here's the titles and artists of the songs.
What is love By: Haddaway
Peanut Butter Jelly Time By: The Buckwheat Boys
Please review! Reviews are the best reward you can give me! And there are still more talent show auditions to come! So please review!