Summery: What happens when the boys of Orgy XIII get a hold of many a pound of candies and chips and cookies and ice cream and…yeah…
A/N: This is my beautiful crack-like fic that I came up with one night when my friend came over with mass amounts of junk foods. This is my first fic ever loaded onto fanfiction but not the first fic I've ever written. Be kind to me as any flames will be given to Axel so he can roast marshmallows for Roxas, however I do appreciate everyone's opinion cause I want to know how I can improve.
Warning: This contains edible underwear and strip go fish among other more graphic things. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: As much as I'd love to own Kingdom Hearts I sadly do not. If I did Axel, Roxas, Demyx, and Zexion would not be gone…they would be under my bed XD.
Music Listened To: RENT soundtrack (I know, it doesn't fit)
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Junk Food Run
Once upon a time there was a slightly mental Nobody named Xigbar, or Bigrax if you prefer. Well one day Xigbar was ordered by the Superior, Xemnas AKA-Mansex, to go pick up food stuffs from the store and mistakenly Xemnas gave number two 10,000 munny. The technical second in command looked from the large sum to the list in his hand, it only had three items: Milk, hair cement, and sugar. He stared at the list processing what kind of 'sugar' number one could have possibly meant. Suddenly it hit him, they were gonna have a party!
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Axel sat on the couch watching Finding Nemo with Roxas and Demyx. Roxas was sitting quite comfortably on the pyro's lap his arms wrapped around the younger Nobody's waist. The door into the TV room slammed open making the three on the couch jump. The turned slowly expecting to get in trouble for not training and instead there was Xigbar holding up at least seven bags of sweet and fatty foods.
"Look what I got!" He cried gleefully dumping the contents in front of the large movie screen. The three leaned over eyes filling with joy completely unable to speak. Cookies, cakes, chips, candies, and chocolates; donuts and ice cream; pastries of all sorts and some rather questionable looking fruit roll-ups lay before them. Axel leaned over and grabbed a pack of Pull n' Peel Twizzlers from the stash before turning to Demyx.
"Get the others." He said wide eyed before ripping the package open.
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Half an hour later all hell had broken loose down stairs as numbers two, six, eight, nine, ten, eleven and thirteen ripped through packages of the goodness. Axel was working on his seventh package of Twizzlers, braiding had never been so much fun when suddenly Roxas grabbed two of the completed braids off of the older teens lap. Axel gave him a sad pout but Roxas just continued to grin.
"Give me a donut!" The youngest shouted to Demyx who was playing an exciting round of strip go fish with Luxord, Marluxia, and Zexion. Without looking up from his cards he flung a glazed donut to the wide eyed blonde kid on the couch. Roxas tried his best to catch the pastry but in his slightly dazed state it fell straight past his fingers and onto his lap. Roxas bit his lip and frowned before picking it up to begin work. After about two minutes the braids of Twizzlers were securely wrapped around the donut. Xigbar looked up from his current activity of swimming through gummy worms. He cracked up when Roxas shoved the whole creation in his mouth looking rather like a chipmunk.
"That's funny!" Number two cried pointing at the chipmunk nobody. "I want some!" He ran over and before Roxas knew what was happening the sharpshooter was kissing him trying to get a bite of the youngest one's creation. Axel saw this and punched the other to save his Roxas.
"That's mine! No touchy!" He shouted grabbing the very confused kid protectively. Luxord looked up from his game and glared at the three by the couch.
"We're in the middle of a game here!" He shouted completely clothed along with numbers eleven and six while Demyx was sitting in his boxers only. Axel looked over at the games progress then dragged Roxas over.
"Deal us in!" The pyro cried grinning eagerly; he knew how bad Roxas was at card games. Luxord nodded and sent seven cards out of the deck to Roxas and Axel when Demyx suddenly understood.
"You've been cheating!" The young musician shouted leaping to his feet pointing an accusing finger at Luxord.
"I have not; now sit down so we can all watch you lose." He said calmly shuffling the cards in his hand a smirk played across his face. Demyx sighed and sat down once again, he had no evidence; at least not yet anyway.
"Roxas; have any…"He gulped. If he didn't get this one right everything was off. "…fours?" He squeezed his eyes shut then opened them when he felt a slight flutter of cards on his head. He cheered as he saw he had finally completed a set leaving the others groaning.
"So close…"Zexion muttered burying his head in his hands.
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"Let me help you with that…"Axel purred undoing the zipper and button on Roxas's pants as the Nobody lost yet another round. Despite Roxas's slight protests Axel wormed them off with the same evil smirk he had been wearing sense the pair had joined in. Luxord was grinning like a maniac as he swiped another gummy worm from where the cards previously were. In fact the cards were completely used up now, what exactly they had been playing with for the past hour was unsure. Whatever it was, it was making Zexion, Luxord and Axel rather happy as Demyx and Roxas were now cowering together in just boxers.
The group on the floor jumped when the door swung open as Marluxia came back in followed closely by Xaldin each carrying several bottles of Sake. Xigbar sat up spilling hundreds of candy wrappers onto the floor. He cheered and clambered over the back of couch. Grabbing a bottle of the sake he pulled the cork out and downed the whole thing. The next thing Xaldin saw was a red streak before the bags of rice wine had vanished. He chuckled as he watched as Axel passed the bottles around before forcing one down Roxas's throat.
Xaldin laughed then crossed the room pulling the half empty bottle out of the youngest member's mouth. Roxas sat up sputtering choking up the substance that burned his throat. He handed the bottle back to Axel who was pouting childishly.
"You need to let the kid breath…" Number three said patting Roxas on the back making him choke again before downing the half finished bottle. Axel snorted before leaning over to kiss the already tipsy Roxas making the boy faint. Axel pulled back and stared at the young nobody.
"Maybe you were right…" He said flashing a cheeky grin to Xaldin who only rolled his eyes. The small group of Nobodies looked about a little unsure of what to do now. It wasn't a matter of boredom; it was they didn't know what to do next, until axel jumped up. He set Roxas on the couch then dug around the piles of treats and wrappers until he found what he was looking for. He pulled up what looked light a fruit roll-up but unrolling it he revealed a pair of edible underwear.
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Sapphire eyes opened accompanied by a slight groan as Roxas came to after only an hour. He tried to reach a hand out for a gummy worm to restore his lost energy but his hand wouldn't move. He looked up and found that his wrists were bound by re-enforced licorice. He closed his eyes feeling he was dreaming until he heard a very familiar voice.
"So you're finally awake?" Axel asked crossing the room and number thirteen was completely horrified as he saw what the pyro was holding. It was a whip made from the same material that was binding him.
"Wha-what are you doing Axel?" He asked trying to shrink away.
"Awww, don't be scared, Roxas. We're just gonna play with you a bit." Demyx said leaning over the arm of the couch, his bangs tickling the younger teen's nose. This did not help the rather scared blonde. He tried to pull away from him as well but was stopped by a third, Zexion. The normally calm and logical Nobody was standing there grinning childishly.
"You want this Roxas?" He asked showing him a gummy worm. Roxas nodded and opened his mouth waiting for his sugar. After a few minutes of waiting he gave a questioning look to the schemer then growled when he saw it dangling on a strand of Twizzler above his head. "You'll have to work for it…" Axel's mouth dropped open as the silver haired member climbed onto the boy straddling his hips. They were never giving him sugar again. Roxas pouted, he didn't want to work for it; he just wanted it.
"Can't you just give it to me?" He asked trying to bite down on the treat just to have it yanked away again.
"That wouldn't be fun…" He whispered nipping at Roxas's ear. At this action Demyx made a move to stop everything but Axel stopped him. The hydro stared a little sadly at Axel and the flame knew what was up immediately. The young musician had liked Zexion for quite some time but he was rather afraid of him at the same time.
"Just watch and enjoy it…" He whispered still in disbelief. It was by far the strangest and yet hottest thing he had every seen so he wasn't in the least bit shocked when he heard whistles and cat calls coming from the older members still in the room. The noise only increased when Roxas finally caught the worm and a little more then he had expected as the end of the Twizzler was attached to Zexion's mouth. Demyx nearly fell over at the sight but the red head caught him. "My turn…" He whispered taping Zexion on the shoulder. The young nobody finally released Roxas and climbed off reluctantly. "Play with him if you're bored…"He said handing a half dazed number nine to the silver haired schemer before climbing onto on to Roxas in the same manner Zexion had done before.
"Axel…?"The young boy asked still very confused. This day was just started as a junk fest, how did it get like this? He eyed the whip in the pyro's hand nervously until the older teen cast it aside before nuzzling into his neck.
"Hmmm?"
"Wha-what are you doing…?" He asked biting into his lip.
"Playing…" His answer was slightly muffled as he kissed into the soft skin at the crook of his neck.
"Ah...e-everyone's watching…Axel…" He said in an attempt to get him to stop.
"Mmhmm…" He says very aware of all the eyes on the pair. Ignoring Roxas's slight complaints he continued kissing up the boy's neck. "Don't worry about it…"
"B-but…"
"XIGBAR!" This stopped Axel in his tracks. He looked up and around trying to find out what was going on. The first thing he saw was Demyx pinned to the wall by Zexion and in his current slightly drugged state of mind it seemed completely normal.
"XIGBAR!" The voice repeated, louder this time. Luxord's eye twitched as he recognized the voice. He grabbed Marluxia by the collar and stared at him with wide eyes.
"Xemnas…"He whispered. The flower just gave him a confused look. "XEMNAS IS COMING!" He said louder this time. Suddenly there was a mad scramble to remove all evidence of every game played up until that point. Axel jumped off of Roxas and snatched the whip up to devour the evidence.
"Axel…" Roxas whined from his place on the couch. The pyro turned then dropped the handle he was using for the whip.
"Oh, Roxas, I'm so sorry!" He said running over. Leaning over the boy he pulled on the restraints but they refused to budge. "Damn…why'd we make them so strong…?" He groaned pulling harder.
"XIGBAR! Where are you!" Xemnas was getting closer. Without giving it another thought Axel leaned over and started biting through the rope. Once he was through the first restraint the blonde haired kid sat up then gasped as he found what he was wearing.
"Axel…what's this?" he asked pulling at a pair of underwear that seemed to be made of a kind of fruit snack now resting around his hips. Axel looked at him and grinned.
"I'll show you later…" He said nipping at the blonde's ear before moving to the other bond. He was about halfway through when the door swung open.
"XIGBAR! Ah, there you are…" The sudden shout from their superior made him miss his mark and the flame wound up biting into Roxas's neck.
"Ah! Axel!" Roxas cried out in a mixture of pain and enjoyment. Number one froze halfway into the room. He narrowed his eyes and walked slowly over to the couch, each footstep bringing the sound of death. The first member leaned over the edge and shortly after he left the room without another word telling himself mentally to never send Xigbar shopping again.
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A/N: Well that was it, for now at least. Tell me what you think I'd love to hear some opinions. If you guys want I'll write a lemon for this particular story, one for Zemyx and AkuRoku both. Thanks for reading and sorry if you didn't like it!