Love Him in My Absence

Chapter 5: A Taste for the Art

Hermione doubted her sanity and instinct for self-preservation when she arrived at Professor Snape's house. It was Saturday morning, and she had no reason or right to knock on his door. She worked Monday through Friday, not weekends. However, after the smashing success of the previous night, she couldn't bring herself to stay away. Her zeal for potions was renewed, and she spent her Friday evening after work modifying the ingredients of the lust potion Snape had taught her. If he was still in such a generous mood, then she was certainly going to take advantage of it.

As she did every morning, Hermione rapped lightly on the door before reaching for the doorknob. The telltale flicker of the ward recognized and admitted her. She was surprised that it worked today, suspecting Snape may have created a ward that only allowed her entrance on workdays.

The cottage was just as quiet as it was every day. She went immediately to the lab and saw Snape in his usual spot bent over a book. He didn't bother to look up, but he did acknowledge her. "Have you lost your mind, Miss Granger? It's Saturday."

Hermione cleared her throat and clasped her hands together in front of herself. "I am aware of that, sir. I just thought… I mean, I thought that..."

"Thought that what, Miss Granger?" he said as he finally lifted his gaze to look at her. He looked exhausted, with dark circles bruising the skin below his eyes.

She tossed her head back to throw her worrisome hair out of the way. "I thought that you might like some help, Professor."

"Help?"

Hermione nodded. "Yes. You see, I love potion making, but my laboratory at home is lacking. Your lab is... well, it's rather wonderful, and I don't mind spending my free time here. I'm not expecting payment for any hours I work on the weekends." Snape raised a brow as she continued, "I would never presume to conduct my own personal research here, just potions you deem appropriate - ones for the Terminus Est line, perhaps?"

Hermione held her breath as he stared at her for a long moment. It wasn't until then that she realized he wasn't wearing his normal attire. It was surprising it had taken her this long to see that his frock coat was absent, and he was only wearing a pair of black trousers with a white, button-up dress shirt. His voice finally jolted her out of her thoughts. "Get a small cauldron and repeat the potion from last night."

Yes! Hermione thought. She tried desperately to suppress her triumphant grin and do as she was told. It took her several minutes to recall and gather all of the correct ingredients. This was her chance to impress Professor Snape, and she most certainly did not want to blow it by forgetting an important part of the potion.

The sunlight slanted through the narrow windows near the ceiling. She could see the dust in the air dance along the beams of light and finally settle on the floor. When she turned her attention back to the work at hand, she found that Snape was watching her. His undivided attention made her nervous so she darted her eyes around the room again, finally landing on his open journal. There were multiple columns of ingredients listed, but his handwriting was far too small to decipher from where she was standing.

"What are you working on, Professor?" she blurted out without thinking. Her intention was only to end the uncomfortable silence.

"That's really none of your business, Miss Granger," he replied, sliding the journal further away from her and returning to the textbook in front of him.

Hermione mumbled a soft apology and set to work on the potion. She fumbled a bit at first because Snape had started the potion the previous day, not her. However, after she got past the rough spot, she recalled the steps with exceeding ease. It wasn't all that hard to do, but it did require precision and perfect timing. Most people didn't have the knack for potion making that she did, which was why most people didn't make their own potions.

She stirred the brew and watched Snape out of the corner of her eye. He was compiling a list of ingredients. If it weren't for the textbook, she would have thought it was a shopping list. The book made her think he was researching ingredients for a possible new potion designed by him. Hermione had been dabbling in this herself, and she itched to ask him about his work again.

"Forgive me, Professor, but can you really not tell me what you are working on? It looks so interesting," she finally said.

Snape answered without even looking up from the page. "It is a personal project of mine, Miss Granger, and is therefore of no concern to you."

His voice hadn't been too angry or annoyed, so Hermione dared to push him a bit further after allowing a few seconds of silence to pass. "A new potion, perhaps?"

"Perhaps," Snape said.

"My heart really is in research and development. That's actually why I was looking for a position as an assistant in a private potions lab. The Ministry's potions department is respectable, but it is wrapped up in regulation of existing potions." Hermione looked up to determine if Snape was annoyed or even listening. His head was down as if he was reading the text, but he had not stopped her from talking. She decided to continue. He would have no qualms about telling her to shut her mouth when he'd had enough of her chatter, of that she was sure.

"My laboratory at home is rather small. Actually, it isn't really a lab  it's more like my kitchen. I've taken to eating on the sofa because my dining table is covered with notes and cauldrons." Hermione stopped and took a breath before continuing. "I want you to know that I really do appreciate this job. I absolutely refuse to use my real name when applying for positions, and that makes it much harder to break into any field where I have no post-graduate experience, especially potions."

Snape gave no indication that he was listening except for his continued silence and the fact that he had yet to turn another page of the text. Surely he had finished with the paragraph on the properties of lizard tails.

Hermione braced herself and asked again. "Can you really not tell me what it is you are working on, Professor?"

He slowly raised his head to look at her again before carefully placing his quill in the inkwell. "It's a restorative potion, a healing potion, if you will."

"What does it do?" she asked.

"Nothing as of yet. My intention was to administer it to long-term coma patients who have fallen into a vegetative state. It is meant to reactivate their brains."

Hermione was surprised. She had expected some dubious potion of questionable ethical value that he could sell to wizards with too much money and too much time on their hands. The last thing she expected was a healing potion to return coma victims to a functioning state. "Much luck, sir?"

Snape smirked wryly and shook his head before returning to his work. "Not at all, Miss Granger."

"You know, I read this article not but a few months back in Potions Master that speculated as to the use of a herb called gotu kola in restoring the functions of a damaged brain."

"And who wrote that article?" Snape asked in a low voice.

Hermione frowned as she tried to recall the name. She tossed in the next ingredient and stirred the potion twice before sitting the rod aside for the moment. "I believe his name was William Malrubius."

Snape lifted an eyebrow in her direction before returning to his work. The gesture was curious to Hermione, but she wasn't sure exactly what it meant. He certainly was being amiable today. Maybe she had finally broken through the exterior and was now getting to know the real Snape. Maybe he was actually thinking of her as Hermione Granger and not Harry Potter's friend.

She puzzled over his reaction to the article as she continued brewing the potion. It wasn't until she was adding the last ingredient that it hit her. She nearly laughed aloud. Snape had more than one pseudonym, apparently. Not only was he S. Jonas, but he was also William Malrubius in his more academic endeavors.

Hermione cleared her throat to gain his attention again. "I believe this batch is finished... Mr. Malrubius." She couldn't help but grin at him.

Snape caught her eyes for a brief moment, and she thought that she saw her humor mirrored in his eyes. "Indeed," he said.

In an effort not to push him too far, she bottled the potion in silence and carefully labeled each bottle. Once she began placing them in a small box, she could hold her tongue no longer.

"Have you considered using wormwood or wormwood extract to boost the healing powers of gotu kola?"

The soft scratch of Snape's quill didn't miss a beat. "I have," he said. "However, I have discovered that a small amount of ginseng works much better. The acidity in wormwood is counterproductive, and it actually decreases the strength of the gotu kola."

"Then you just need to counteract that acidity with something to give the wormwood balance so it can work as the activator in the potion," Hermione said. The potion bottles were boxed up, and she slipped onto a stool beside her. "Perhaps milkweed? I've had a great deal of luck with it in my own work. It seems to provide the counter needed."

Snape finally raised his eyes and looked at her. He seemed interested and slightly surprised. Hermione had expected to see annoyance on his face, but it was nowhere to be found. "Milkweed would indeed have that effect on the wormwood, but when mixed with gotu kola, it can be extremely volatile. It would do the patient more harm than good."

Hermione frowned. She desperately wanted to show him that she was worth his time, and that she had the intelligence necessary to understand his work, but he seemed to cut her off at every pass. At least he wasn't being a prat about it. For Snape, he was being downright nice. "I'm afraid I don't know all that much about gotu kola. It's a relatively new herb to the market. The vast majority of my knowledge on the herb actually came from your article."

"At least someone is reading my academic papers," he said, placing the quill back in the inkwell and folding his hands in front of him. He was offering her his full, undivided attention. "Potions isn't exactly one of the more glamorous professions, and the only wizards who read Potions Master are ones who are set in their ways and don't want to hear about any new research." He paused for a moment before continuing. "The field has become very stagnant in the last few years."

"But, Professor, you seem to have the knowledge and the experience to trail blaze in the development field. Why don't you spend more time doing so?"

Snape raised a brow. "I thought that's what I was doing. I did hire you to do my grunt work."

"Oh," Hermione said softly.

"As I was saying, the potions field has become rather stagnant, especially in Europe. Most masters spend their time refining existing potions, not investigating new avenues of development, therefore they have no interest in those of us who do have a taste for the research, the..."

"Art," Hermione said, finishing his sentence.

Snape gave a single nod. "Yes, the art of creating something out of virtually nothing. Of course, the ingredients are something, but they would amount to nothing if not combined correctly in the proper order and quantity. Unfortunately, most masters are content to go through the motions."

Hermione was astounded. She had never expected a discussion like this with Snape, of all people. He had never given her any indication of his passion for the subject of research. She considered him a very by-the-book individual  one who prided himself on efficiency and quality, not imagination and ingenuity. Then again, she couldn't see any reason why he shouldn't be all of those things. Viewing him as just her Hogwarts professor was looking at him through very one-dimensional glasses. He was much more than her professor, and she was really beginning to understand that now.

Hermione didn't feel like it was late, but the clock on the shelf above the door told her that it was nearly four o'clock in the afternoon. She had been talking with Professor Snape for hours. Their discussion was regulated to potions, but that didn't mean it was any less enjoyable to her. Snape noted her eyes on the clock and nodded toward the door. "I suggest you run off and enjoy the remainder of your weekend, Miss Granger."

She smiled at him. "I'm so sorry for monopolizing your time like this, Professor. I know you're working on this personal project of yours, and I shouldn't have invaded and distracted you, but I find your research fascinating, and I would love to assist you, even it was done during weekends."

"I would have not been distracted if I had not wanted to be distracted. Even I understand the concept of taking a step back to look at the bigger picture."

"The bigger picture?" Hermione asked.

"What I would like to accomplish beyond this one potion." He looked as if he was going to say something else, but he abruptly stopped himself and stood from his seat.

"And about my assisting you in your research after hours?" she asked.

"I'll take it under advisement. Go on," he told her. "I've other things to do today. I don't have endless hours to entertain you with conversation."

His words may have been harsh, but they didn't come out as such. She thanked him again before retrieving her bag and leaving the house. She was brimming with happiness as she closed her eyes and Apparated back to her flat.

Author's Note: Snarkyroxy was the amazing beta for this fic. Jessica and Allyness also helped out a great deal. Just a reminder - this fic is completed, and it is fifteen chapters in all. I'll be uploaded two chapters a week for everyone to read. I love reviews or comments of all kind. I'd also love an e-mail if you'd like to chat about anything HP.