Sorry I've been taking forever with updates. School's started, so now I can work on stories only during the weekends.
You should see a new chapter for "Shino's Birthday" before, or on, next Sunday. Along with that should be the sequel to "Naruto: Sex-ed", which will be called "Neji the Hentai".
The line feature still isn't working. Sorry.
Disclaimer: Well... I don't own Naruto nor do I own any of its characters.
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Rock Lee's Guide to Wooing Haruno Sakura
When One is Lost
I can't believe how much fun yesterday was! Although I've been friends with Lee for almost a year now, I never truly realized he had such a great sense of humor. He's such a sweet guy, not to mention nice, sensitive, and outgoing. It's hard to believe I once looked down on him due to his… unique appearance. Although he did come off rather strongly, any girl would die for a guy with his thoughtfulness. Now that I think about it, I wish I had given him a chance way back when… but I was too busy swooning over that delicious Uchiha.
Speaking of Uchiha, I don't think I can ever love Sasuke again, not the way I used to. Amazing, huh? He betrayed our village, his friends, and everyone else whose respect he gained. Didn't he care about any of us? It was a tough loss; I can remember not wanting to talk to anyone for weeks. Not even Naruto, Lee, and Ino, who tried their best to console me. I was heartbroken! It took about a month for me to completely recover and admit that he won't come back of his own accord - Naruto's going to drag his vengeful ass back over here if he must! He said so himself, and I have complete confidence he will! My point is: I don't want to waste my time moping around over Sasuke anymore, and I'm glad I've moved on! Besides, now I have that spandex-clad goofball to worry about, now!
I'm so confused! All this started about a couple months ago. I noticed myself yearning to spend as much time with Lee as possible, and during that time we've grown very close. And then, of all the most outrageous things, I started flirting with him! I'm not sure why I did, and so I immediately denied any feelings that might come out of this new friendship. Besides, it's impossible! Lee and… me? It couldn't happen, and that's that.
But then, it gets stranger! For a while, I thought this 'crush' on Lee had faded away, but boy, I was wrong! I started feeling exactly how I used to whenever I was around Sasuke. Usually, I blush; contract a horrible case of butterflies, and then my insides would feel ready to burst! It's so weird, being like this around Lee!Of all the people!
It's like I'm stuck in the middle: do I want to give Lee a chance, or live in the past? Wait - I thought I already decided I would stop angsting over Sasuke! Gah! Well, what's life without trying something new? Yes! Today, I think I'm going to give Lee that chance! And that's that! But I don't want to let myself on; I know that Lee still feels the same, but now he's losing the guts to ask me out. Maybe I'll drop a few hints, and have him figure out the rest. Besides, it'll be pretty fun to watch Lee try and ask me out again! But how to let him on…?
After climbing out of bed, I thoroughly searched my closet. Laying my eyes on an outfit I purchased not too long ago, I grinned somewhat maniacally.
Oh yes, THIS will do the trick!
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Today is Phase Two of my brilliant plan! Well, perhaps that's exaggerating a bit, as Phase One wasn't quite brilliant. At least that left eyebrow grew back in record time!
But yes. Phase Two. It will be a remarkable, ingenious, and infallible sequel! I am sure of it! Now, what will happen in Phase Two? Hmm… - oh, it is Sakura! She's coming this way! Is she wearing something different…? She is! Oh wow…
"Hi, Lee!" she waved. "What's up?" She innocently cocked her head to the side. Is she trying to torture me? I tried opening my mouth several times, each attempt as vain as the next. My face probably resembled my headband's fiery crimson hue.
Agh! This won't turn out well… Watch the nosebleed, watch the nosebleed…
"What's the matter, Lee?" she asked, her emerald green eyes piercing my soul. I felt that familiar, peculiar heart-stopping sensation throughout my body. Almost immediately, my brain turned to mush, and I had difficulty processing my thoughts. Why me? As I gazed upon her, my eyes ever so slightly drifted downwards, and I had to stop myself. She can't catch me staring! I shouldn't be ogling her anyways!
But just look at her! She's taking more after Tsunade-sama than ever these days! My other half argued.
Unwillingly, I obeyed my spontaneous alter ego, and felt my face heat up again. Not good! I need get my head out of the gutter… I spend too much time with Naruto!
Sakura still stared at me, now with a concerned expression. "Lee?" She must think I'm a complete idiot now! I better gather myself, and quickly, too! This nosebleed isn't going to wait all day!
"I… well, I just…" Oh wait, an excuse! At this point, tying together words is hard enough! "I… remembered something! We-we'll talk later, Sakura! Goodbye!"
I'm not sure how Sakura will respond to me randomly sprinting away from her, but all I know is that I'm in dire need of a box of tissues and a nice, cold shower to drown myself in.
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Well, I can admit that, without a doubt, my chances with Sakura are ruined! What kind of a man runs away from the one he loves? If Gai-sensei had seen that display of utter cowardice, surely he would abandon me! And Sakura! She must think I'm some sort of coward, now! Now there's no way I can measure up to that Uchiha! But there must be something I can do! This is such a confusing mess!
And since when have I developed a perverse, split personality? That made matters ten times worse! What to do?
First, I must calm down. Panicking won't help, here. Now, first things first!
Why has Sakura changed her outfit, today? Perhaps it's due to the temperature… Yes! The temperature! Even I'll admit, it's been scorching. I mean, running the usual laps around the training grounds has been miserable! I bet Sakura's been hot, too…
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Glistening with millions of tiny beads of sweat, an exhausted Sakura jogged around Team Seven's practice area. Gasping for air, she ceased her run and planted herself on the grassy field. As she whipped out a water bottle from a pouch resting on her hip, the setting sun illuminated her features, highlighting her perfectly sculpted countenance. In the glare of the sunlight, her emerald green eyes sparkled with a brilliance that could rival Maito Gai's pearly white smile.
After uncapping the bottle, she tilted her head back, held the bottle several inches away from her face, and allowed the water to pour into her mouth of its own accord. Some of the excess liquid cascaded down her chin, mingling with the sweat from her previous run…
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This has got to stop! Maybe I should make a better acquaintance with Neji, instead of Naruto. I'm sure he doesn't think like this!
I repeatedly banged my head against one of the walls inside my room. Clean thoughts… clean thoughts… in with the good, out with the bad…
"What in the world is that horrid noise?" some distant, yet furious voice demanded. Not yet registering said speaker, I dejectedly turned to my doorway.
Mother. I blushed red in embarrassment.
"I was… um…" Although I'm not renowned for my lying abilities, I spoke the first excuse that came to mind. "It's training!" I exclaimed, nearly slapping my forehead in the process.
My mother crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "Well, I've heard worse come from you, Sir Lies A Lot." My face's tinge deepened, and she giggled. "Anyways, just wanted to let you know that dinner's in a few! I'm making your favorite!"
Yes, curry! Somehow, this day turned out all right!
"But," my mother shook her finger at me. "If I see any more fishy behavior, I'll insist that you tell me what on earth's going on." Finally, my mom left my room, latching my door.
Well, can't have that happen! I must keep my composure!
I took a seat at the foot of my bed. Now, back to Sakura! I still don't understand her outfit change! It may have to do with the weather; it may not. But, if I can't even form coherent sentences in front of her, then how will I be able to take the next step? Or maybe that'll come with time…
I should think about this later. Besides, I have dinner in a few minutes, and I must change into my dining ensemble! I don't want to be late!
After opening my closet, I searched for the appropriate attire. Unable to find it, I pushed all of my green jumpsuits away, and at last; I discovered it at the very back. Laying it down on my bedside, I returned to my closet.
I sure own a lot of those green suits! But, who doesn't love green? It is the perfect expression of youth, for it is the color of life!
Unfortunately, my beloved Sakura does not possess an affinity for such a strong, symbolic color! The first day I met her, she said the green spandex looked hideous! I still can't believe it… wait; maybe that's my solution! The reason Sakura changed her outfit was to indirectly persuade me to change mine! That's it!
"And then," I nearly shouted, unable to contain my happiness. "She will begin to harbor affections for me! And then, I will regain my confidence and I will be able to talk to her!" I swore I heard something, but paid no attention to it, as I thrust both of my fists into the air.
"And then, she will agree to go out with me!" I cried, ready to explode. Before turning away from my closet, I thought of one more comment to add.
"And then I will have no more inappropriate thoughts about Haruno Sakura!" I held my fist near my chest. "For I will be LIVING them!" Perhaps I really need to spend less time with Naruto.
Trembling with excitement, I headed back to my sleeping quarters to change out of the green spandex…
Note to self: Modulate volume of speech at all times.
My poor mother, her jaw agape and her eyes wide, stared at me with an unreadable expression. It was one of those times when I wish I could disappear. After a few uncomfortable moments, she closed, and reopened her mouth several times, as if wishing to tell me something. Deciding against it, she simply walked out of my room, leaving the door ajar.
Never could I recall dinner being this quiet.
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Today, on this fine, practice-free Saturday, I will be speaking with that Yamanaka Ino girl at the flower shop! From what Tenten's told me, Ino has the best sense of style out of all the girls she knows, so naturally I should consult her.
"Hello, Ino!" I waved, stopping by her flower stand. "How are you on this gorgeous day?" I leaned over the counter as I picked out some flowers I will purchase for Sakura.
"Hey, Lee! I'm fine, and let me guess: you're here to purchase some flowers for Forehead Girl? Today, I recommend the yellow hybrid lilies! They're a new cross my mother's been tending too, and they're beautiful!" Ino gestured to a group of pale yellow flowers on my right.
I grinned. "Thank you, Ino. I think I'll pick up a few of those. Actually, I wish to ask you a question…" I checked behind me to make sure Sakura was nowhere in sight.
"What's wrong, Lee? And don't worry about paying for the lilies; they're on the house!" I sighed in relief; I was on the verge of a panic attack when I could not find any spare change lingering in my pockets!
Not wanting to be heard, I spoke in a low tone. "Well, yesterday I was thinking, and I decided to change my wardrobe! I'm hoping it might convince Sakura to change her mind about me…" I winced, as an annoying loud squeal rang out. When I looked up, I saw Ino with her hands clapped together.
"Oh, that's so sweet! I wish my teammates were as thoughtful as you! But that's another story," Ino handed me the lilies - surely Sakura will love them!
"Now," she continued. "You've come to the right person, and I assume that Tenten recommended you here?" Ino asked. I was dumbfounded - how do girls know these things? I nodded. "Of course! Such a display of intelligence from a guy would be unheard of!"
That angered me, ever so slightly. However, as I've learned from Tenten, never provoke a woman!
"So, because you're such a nice guy, I'm going to help you! Meet me at the mall next to the fish market not to far from here by noon, okay?"
"Of course! I shall be right on time, Ino!" This was turning out perfectly. Soon enough, I will be going out with the girl of my dreams! Suddenly, I felt a gentle prod in my chest, pulling me out of my reverie. I assume Ino poked me as smiled devilishly while wielding a pink pen.
"You better be on time."
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I checked my watch. 11:55! I don't know how much longer I can take it! If I cannot restrain myself from checking on Ino within the next five minutes, then I will run 200 laps around Konoha! And then -
"Lee! You're early!" A familiar voice called out. Ino! After meeting up with me, we embarked on, what Ino called, a self-appointed mission.
As it turns out, shopping is a very big ordeal. In the span of, say, twenty minutes, Ino has dragged me through nearly every shopping store! Twice! Some of the shops had the most peculiar names, some of the strangest ones being, "Alvin Klein", "Japanese Eagle", or the worst of them all, "Hot Subject"! (1) How do people come up with such ridiculous titles? And then there were the outfits themselves!
Girls have the strangest taste in clothing! Many of the articles of clothing purchased were similar to what Uchiha Sasuke would wear as he would take his usual strut around Konoha. However, I pointedly refused to wear such… depressing colors as he did! To my surprise, Ino was very lenient on the colors, saying that I should choose colors that express my personality. As long as they weren't bright orange or racing green, I recall her adding. At the end of the day, we bid each other farewell at the entrance.
"Now, Lee. I trust that you can handle color coordination, all right? You can't mess up that badly!" I watched as Ino waved goodbye, wondering about her last statement.
Color coordination? What on earth does that mean? Didn't Ino say, "choose colors that reflect your personality"? How hard can that be? Now, to my home!
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I love Saturdays! The one day that all teachers and mentors, no matter what, have to declare a free day! What have I done so far today? Chat with Ino, Tenten, and Hinata; eat with Naruto at Ichiraku Ramen; and, of course, sleep in until ten o' clock! What else can I ask for? Hey! Lee's coming! I've been meaning to speak to him again, ever since he ran away this morning. Perhaps my new ensemble set him straight -
Oh… my… lord…
WHAT THE HELL IS HE WEARING?
He looks like… like… a - a Sasuke wannabe! What - what inspired him to dress like some sort of… I don't even know what to call him! Does he have no shame?
Lee… so loveable, and yet… so clueless.
"Hello, Sakura!" he calls out to me. He jogs over to where I've been lounging for the past five minutes. Having a better look at him, I force myself to stifle a mere giggle. He's trying SO hard. He's such a cute guy…
Eh?
"Sakura, do you read? Over!" a sudden, taunting voice interrupted my thoughts. I glance up; Lee's beaming face grins broadly at me. I shake my head - he can be such a goofball!
"Yeah, Lee. Read loud and clear. Over!" We both laugh at our jest, and then Lee asks me another question, one I hoped he wouldn't ask.
"So what do you think of my new outfit?"
My jaw dropped. So this is what it's all about. He thought that… I wanted him to… and he's asking me how he looks? My efforts failing, I burst out laughing, smacking my forehead in the process. I couldn't help it, but standing right in front of me was proof of a well-known fact:
Guys are idiots.
Apparently, Lee took my laughter the wrong way. His formerly bright expression deflated into something akin to when I first rejected him a year ago. Immediately, I stopped laughing and grabbed him by the shoulders.
"Lee, it's not that. It's just…" Now, I must choose my words carefully. Right now, he has the emotional sensitivity of a two-year old. Lee looked up to me with hope-filled eyes. "Well, Lee. You're wearing the right clothes, you're just… wearing them wrong."
"What do you mean?" he asked me, and his entire face looked very relieved. At least the hard part's over.
"For one thing: you're wearing your forearm braces on your shins," and he scratched the back of his head shyly. Smiling, I continued. "And, your other standout mistake is your collar. See, it's supposed to be up, not folded down. But that's a quick-fix!"
As I moved my hands from his shoulders to his collar, Lee shook his head; and for some reason, he blushed like something I've never seen. "No, I did that on purpose. With that collar up, I won't be able to see how pretty you are."
Now we were both blushing. And, sometime between his last comment, and me placing my hands on his collar, both us realized how close we really are. I could hear my heartbeat pounding, and it felt ready to burst out of me at any given moment! My entire body feels frozen solid, I've lost all ability to think and speak, and second after second, everything around me seems like a mere blur. I don't believe I've ever felt such a rush of emotion in all my life! What's going on?
This is it. I can't freak out, because there's no turning back now! I feel like some sort of unspoken magnetic force is drawing me to him. It's just going to happen, and -
"SAKURA?"
What the hell was that?
Trying to regain my cool, I noticed that Lee had toppled over just seconds ago, when some unknown voice interrupted… whatever was going on with us! Poor Lee. Shaken, I looked behind me to find none other than -
Naruto!
"Hey, Sakura! What were you and Fuzzy Brows doing? If I didn't know better, I'd have to say you two looked like you were ready to go at it!" That bastard! We… we weren't… "But I know you wouldn't do that, right? Cause I know you've got eyes for only me, babe!"
That Jiraiya's been having a BAD influence on him. And something bad is going to happen to him, that's for sure!
"Naruto…"
"Yeah, Sakura?"
"You have… five seconds…"
"Five seconds is all I need!" He thinks he is so clever! Wait until I get my hands on him!
"To get the hell out of here."
To think it only took two seconds! I don't think I've seen anyone move that fast since Lee against Gaara during last year's Chuunin Exams! Oh, wait!
Lee!
I can really say one thing to him. I need to go home and think before I make another move. Besides, the only thing I want to say is the only thing I have the guts to say, at the moment.
"W-we'll talk later, Lee! Bye!"
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Reviews much appreciated! Was it good, bad, or stupid? You tell me! I have two questions for you guys:
- I've been having trouble writing the 1st person POV. If anything sounds off, let me know!
- Are the characters... in character? Especially Lee. I have trouble balancing his personality. However, all the characters will be a little different, as they're a year older.
(1) The shop names are parodies for "Calvin Klein", "American Eagle", and "Hot Topic".