Disclaimer: See previous chapters.


Tsukushi-Chapter 3




Her husband was buried. Her mansion was gone. The entire service staff that answered to her every whim was dispatched along with the rest of her wealth. Most people would think that a million dollars would last a normal person a few years, but with the life that Kana had adjusted herself to, the money flowed through her hands like water. She still flaunted about the town without a care in the world as if she still owned it, but everyone knew better.

They talked behind her back. Now, all the women that had once welcomed her into their inner circles as one of the wives' cast her out like a leper. It wasn't completely unfounded that they did so, considering the precarious relationships they had to begin with. She had always been somewhat of a threat since day one when she entered their world. She was young, beautiful, and seductive in her charms. Very few men could resist falling prey to her honeyed words and lingering glances. Word was out fast. Shinimori Kana was a free woman, and no man was safe.

The original bitch was back in action.

On the other hand, Tsukushi settled into her now more peaceful life as a normal person. She no longer had the luxury of riding the limo to school, the elaborate bento boxes with her favorite sushi, or the freedom to buy the latest of anything lately. Those things didn't really bother her that much. She was even happy to see all her lessons stop when money got tight. Now things were beginning to hit on hard times. Her mother was a bit more aggressive about deciding how much allowance she be given. Any extra money left for treats such as buying a new book or clothes was left up to the small sums Susumu dropped off to her once in awhile.

Once again, Tsukushi watched her mother get back in action. It had been a long nine-year break from the dating scene. Her mother was no longer as youthful as she once was and the stigma as a double widow followed her wherever she went. Finding men willing to take on the forty something woman was proving to be a bit more difficult than she expected. The signs of her fleeting beauty were becoming more and more apparent with each wrinkle and line on her face.

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It had been a few months already, but the growing frustration and strain in Kana's entire being was building into one giant mass of tension. Her search for a new provider was proving to be a bit more strenuous than she realized. Sure, there were plenty of men out there. All of those years as Shinimori's wife weren't put to waste as she had made quite a few connections and half flirtations with the opposite gender. It was crunch time, and she was ready to make good on her promises.

Tsukushi always questioned her mother's faithfulness. She was almost positively sure that her mother would never have strayed from her deceased stepfather. The man kept her too fat and content in her luxury. Tsukushi had long figured out that her mother may have been one to let her hands and eyes stray, but nothing would stop her from screwing up what she liked to refer to as a good thing'.

And so, Kana went out with a vengeance night after night. For a woman in her forties, the entire dating scene had changed a great deal. She smiled and walked away politely when the man whose arm she once occupied would wander off at sight of the first young thing about a decade or two younger. Although she argued in her own rationale that men would choose experience over the cheap novelty of youth and innocence, she was sadly mistaken. Sophistication and charm would always lose out to fucking a pretty little thing with double D's and an empty head to match.

The problem was only worsened by the talk surrounding her. There were the lingering stares or the way they always managed to approach her slightly brushing against her arm or leg. Too bad, for her they weren't directed towards her, but towards Tsukushi.

There is always that dilemma when mother has to step down to daughter to take her place at the pedestal, but kana refused to give it up. Well, at least not without a fight.

Jealousy is like a disease living in your system, festering and thriving in the confines of oneself. No one has the right to say that they hold no jealousy. It lies deep within us all locked away in a place where the world cannot see waiting for that moment where madness will prevail and all sanity collapses into a miasma of hatred.

Kana was in a downward spiral, and she was drowning in her own pool of pity and self-deprecation. What better release than to take out her problems on the only one in the world who would ever truly love her, ironically being her greatest admirer and enemy.

What happened to Arima-san?

Apparently he never had any intentions to leave his wife, she snorted. Well, that's just another one to chalk up to the dead end list. She flippantly waved her hand letting the statement slip from her lips as if she were discussing the weather.

Tsukushi stood awkwardly in the doorway of her mother's bedroom watching in some kind of eerie stupor at her primping ritual in front of the vanity. She looked straight ahead into the mirror seeing her own reflection standing behind her mother's. There were such stark differences between the two of them that Tsukushi could only stare in wonder at how they could be related. They were like night and day contrasting in all respects from looks, personality, and general opinion.

It was her deepest secret, though, that Tsukushi wished for her mother's understanding or some middle ground. Although she didn't agree with everything Kana had done or would do, Tsukushi found herself stuck in a rare moment stuck in that place where she wished for a moment she could resemble the woman sitting in that chair in front of the mirror. She yearned for a shred of that brief time when it was her and her mother, and she could look up to that woman truly adoring her without reservation.

Kana rose from her seat letting her long gown sweep to the ground. She turned her head at a few various angles inspecting her hair to make sure not a single stray lock and fallen out of the tight chignon she had bundled her hair into. A single diamond tennis bracelet graced her wrist, a gift given to her about two years ago for her birthday from her late husband. Her lips had been painted a dark crimson, and her eyes smeared with smoky black kohl.

It was a stark difference to see the two. One was the seductress, and the other a naïve girl.

She spun around and smiled to herself in satisfaction. How do I look?

Beautiful, Mama, Tsukushi eagerly responded.

The older woman stopped in mid and smiled lightly. Come here, she instructed with a soft-spoken voice tinted with a certain feminine air. She patted her daughter on the shoulder instructing her to sit down on the chair. Her hands skimmed over the various bottles, jars, sticks, and random cosmetics lying about. She pulled her head to look forward, and leaned over Tsukushi's shoulder whispering, You have my complexion. A wistful look appeared on her face, as she gently brushed the back of her hand against Tsukushi's cheek. You're a very pretty girl, do you know that?

Tsukushi dumbly nodded her head almost hesitating with her answer. A few lingering doubts floated in her mind slowing her response.

Long slender finger threaded through her long strands plucking and weaving them into an intricate braiding. Such a pretty, pretty girl, her voice rasped.

Tsukushi blushed at the random compliment that came without any warning. It was rare that her mother ever really complimented her for anything if at all. She stared into the mirror seeing a foreign image before her. Her mother seemed to be lost in thought, as she silently ran the brush through her hair. The length and force of her stroked slowly came down harder and faster. The hairs were pulled taut against her scalp being wrapped around the hairs of the brush.

Tactfully, she reached up to stop eh harsh jerking movements of her mother's hands. Her voice was so weak and small. Mama, please stop. It hurts.

The fog that had clouded Kana's mind cleared way to some coherency of her surroundings. The realization of where she was and what she was doing shone in the small startled look in her dark brown eyes. The brush fell to the ground with a dull thud. Her face fell with it, staring at the object with no recognition on her face as if wondering what it was. You don't know pain, she hissed. You don't know hurt like I have. A flicker of madness shone in her face when she lifted her eyes to meet the mirror. What do you see?

I see me. I see you, Tsukushi murmured to the dead air.

I see what once was and what I can never have again. Do you know what people see when they look at you and me? They see the mother and the daughter. They used to ask if you were my sister, but not anymore. Now they ask about my beautiful daughter. You do it on purpose, you know.

I don't understand what you're talking about. I didn't do anything.

That only makes them want you more. They used to want me for that very same reason. All men will tell you there's nothing like breaking in a fresh one. I bet you love it when they look at you with that look in their eyes following you wherever you go.

They don't see me. They see you, Mama, Tsukushi confessed frightened by the maddened look in her mother's eyes. She cringed waiting for the next blow knowing well now that her mother's shift in moods held no real predictability all relying on some sort of internal clock within her.

You're a smart little slut, aren't you? I see it in your eyes, in the way you walk, and in the way you talk. You should be wary of men. Once they get tired of your pretty little face they'll toss you aside like the next day's trash. Your innocence won't save you forever.

Tsukushi sunk further into the chair feeling her mother's fingernails dig deeper into her shoulders leaving burning red marks in the flesh. She remained speechless letting her own terror consume her.

Now get out of my sight!

She dumbly nodded and took the order obediently scurrying form her room. A few seconds later, the sound of a door slamming could be heard from within Kana's room. She rigidly picked up the brush from the ground, and stared at her own reflection contemplating her appearance. A dazzling smile formed on her lips growing wider and stretching across her face, and she fingered the small hairs tucking them back into their place where they belonged. By the chime of the old grandfather clock in the main hall, she realized that the night was fast approaching. The party being thrown by the Takeda corporation would be starting. Swiftly her purse was pulled from the table, and she stalked out the door locking her daughter behind to wallow over what had been said. The same sardonic smirk she wore remained intact.

Nothing made for a better high than destroying your child's happiness.

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The vicious cycle continued for months. Men walked in and out of their lives in a revolving door of affairs, sex, and money. All staying power was rendered unattainable. The well was running dry, and so was Kana's patience. Her recent slew of erratic bursts of anger was running rampant focusing on the only person around to accept the abuse.

For a while, Kana was losing all hope and began centering her attentions on her innocent daughter. There was that small amount of defeat in her willing to accept the fact that her prime had passed. However, there was always hope for her daughter, who was just breaching that time in her life where her assets could be fully utilized.

It was only when a certain man had taken a certain liking for the woman did her efforts to sell of her daughter diminish. That second chance to get back into the game was more than enough to lure her back into the game. He was her last chance, her last ace to shuffle herself back into the deck.

Determination, a Victoria's Secret enhancing bra, some botox, and a new wardrobe later, she was back in.



Yes, Mama, Tsukushi quickly answered, walking out of her bedroom. She finished up tying her hair with a pink ribbon to match the short sundress she wore of matching color.

Her mother let her critical eyes roam over her daughter's appearance, making sure that every single detail was perfect. Are you ready?



Good. I don't want any screw ups with Renjou-san, her shrill voice screeched. God knows how hard it was to get him to take some time for our two families to meet.

I already know what, Mama. You've told me before.

It's top enough to tell you one sometimes, she snapped. Her nails dug into the small clutch purse in her hand. A chance like this doesn't come along often. Renjou-san is a family man, so we must appear to him as a perfect addition to his family. He even specially requested that you come along on our date. His son will be there, too. It wouldn't be too bad for yourself if you made a nice playmate out of the young man. There is no blood tie if I were to marry his father.

The thought slightly unnerved Tsukushi. It didn't matter if his son was to be her stepbrother. It was like insinuating she should have relations with Susumu outside of the brother-sister bond they shared.

Knowing that whatever she said would not be the right answer, she nodded her head. Better judgment taught her that in situations such as this it is best to just go with the flow. All that mattered was her mother's happy. If she was happy then everyone else could be happy.

The most disturbing part of their entire relationship was Tsukushi's unwavering love for the woman. She loved her no matter what just because she was her mother. No one could tell her otherwise nro would she ever disagree with her affirmation.

There's no use in arguing with her when she gets that man hungry look in her eyes. I've learned long ago to just ignore what she says.

Come, Tsukushi. We don't; want to be late.

Yes, Mama.

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She shifted uncomfortably in her seat watching her mother make polite small talk with her current boyfriend. Tsukushi stared out into the restaurant in boredom, picking at her salad with a fork. She droned out the words of conversation around her, only nodding her head once in awhile or giving a brief answer when conversation was directed towards her.

In all fairness, she was bored out of her mind. There were only so much of her mother's flirtatious topics she could stomach. Also, there was that strange boy across the table who hadn't once yet stopped staring at her with something much less than good intentions in his eyes. She diverted her gaze from him at all costs, hoping he would stop soon, but gave up on that idea about an hour ago.

So, I hear from you mother that you play the piano, Tsukushi?

Huh? Oh, yes, she answered coming out of her haze. I've played for a few years now.

he asked. He adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose, and looked towards his son. Mito started lessons just about a year ago. Perhaps you could help him when he practices sometime.

A swift kick to her shin underneath the table and a glare from her mother told her to answer with the right answer she wanted to hear. I would like that. Right, Mito-kun?

I would love a private lesson some time, the boy responded.

She continued smiling that empty smile, and thanked god when their parents decided to continue their conversation abut other topics away from their children. So, she continued picking at the next course of their meal. Her body jolted when a hand crawled onto her thigh, touching her bare skin. She wanted to jump up and scream, but bit the inside of her mouth to keep from screaming. She moved her leg a bit trying to shake the offending hand away, but her sudden movements seemed to only spur on further movement of his hand upwards. Her eyes darted downwards, connecting the hand to the boy inconspicuously taking a bite of his steak.

She panicked, trying to think of anything to stop his northward moving hand. Her eyebrow twitched, and she could taste the salty, sweet flow of blood in her mouth. Desperately, she searched for something, if anything, to use to stop his wandering hands. Out of sheer anger, she grabbed her salad fork and jabbed it into his hand.



What is it?!

He held his hand to his chest and quickly shook his head. I just had a shock of static electricity, is all, he lied.

Tsukushi slipped the fork back onto the table, and picked up her dinner fork, happily munching away at her salmon. She shot Mito a knowing smile across the table. For the rest of the night, his wandering hands seemed to now remain at his side.

Perhaps the night wasn't at a total loss.

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Money was really becoming tight around the house now. Tsukushi sighed again as she pulled out her wallet, staring at the apparent lack of funds. She looked wistfully into the store window one last time, saying goodbye to her chances of ever getting that cute dress in the window she had been pining over. Her hand pressed up against the cold, cool glass, leaving an impression.

Maybe some other time.

Wearily, she tugged the strap of her bag higher onto her shoulder, and walked down the busy street of the shopping district, watching the people walk by. The days had started to become much hotter now, and school was almost out. Graduation would be coming soon, and her final year in the private academy would be finished. With their quickly diminishing funds, she was only so lucky that she had decided to apply to some local public high schools. However, by some miracle, she had also scored well enough on her entrance exams to get into Eitoku. The choice was easily made when her mother found the letter of acceptance.

You have to go there!

Why? I never liked hanging around those rich, snotty kids much anyway. I'd be happier going to the public school.

Her mother slammed the letter down on the table. Are you an idiot?! If you go to Eitoku you could meet some respectable young man. Now is the time to start looking for prospective husbands. It would be perfect to find a high school sweetheart, date through college, and then you can marry. Our problems would be solved. It doesn't hurt either if your boyfriend has a gold card.

I'm only fifteen. Why would I be thinking of a husband now?

This discussion is going nowhere. Sometimes, I wonder how you could be my daughter. For all that intelligence your teachers brag about, you really don't understand what the real world is about. You are going to Eitoku and that is final. She finished the last of her tirade with a red face from all the yelling. Not even waiting for a retort, she got up and walked to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Tsukushi kicked the rock in front of her foot into the street, and stared up into the sky watching the passing clouds.

I thought life would get a bit easier without the money. I guess not.

It was rather too obvious with her mother's intentions on the school she was being sent to. Eitoku screamed of the elite, the best of the best, and also for the well known undisclosed matchmaking pool. It was a meat market where girls were sent running in herds to fight for the dominant alpha male. He had to have the six C's: cash, credit card, car, career, certificate, and condo. If he lacked any of it, he was rendered useless to your needs.

There are certain needs a man has. It's our job to fulfill them, Tsukushi, she mumbled in disgust recalling one of her mother's many lectures.

Maybe it was the close confines spaces of the apartment, but never in her life had she ever recalled her mother taking such a hands-on approach to raising her. It was always the same night after night. Her mother would walk into the room demanding full attention as she went off one some rant about the importance of one's grooming and refinement, of associating with the right people, and of course, being whoever the hell they wanted you to be.

Tsukushi wanted no part in those things, but when did she ever have a choice to begin with?

She dug her hands into the pockets of her blazer, and she blew her overgrown bangs out of her eyes. Her feet ached from the last few hours of standing she had done. The small headache of knowing of all the homework to be done later did nothing to ease the pain. That was the price she had to pay, though. She was lucky enough to find a part time job to help cover her expenses. While all the other girls in her class left school in their limos to go to their lessons, she walked that half hour from the school to the little bakery where she managed to get a part time job. Of course, her mother knew nothing about it. If she did, she either would have made her quit or taken the little money she earned.

Let's see. If I work overtime for the next three weeks, and maybe talk that nice salesgirl into putting the dress on lay away while I can scrounge up enough money. Maybe I could ask Yuuki to borrow just a bit. Naw, I shouldn't do that, she mumbled to herself. The little inner monologue that she believed was taking place in the privacy of her mind was in fact being spoken aloud.

Seen something you like, a deep, smooth voice whispered from behind her.

The sound of his voice so close to her ear made her shiver with some unknown temerity she previously had not felt. It seemed almost as if the sun had disappeared from the sky, leaving behind a still coldness. Unconsciously, her arms wrapped around her chest in a futile attempt to ward off the strange chill that resembled something close to uneasiness. Turning around, she came face to face with the familiar face of the man she had seen so often accompanying her mother. In the middle of the street during mid afternoon, his face was illuminated underneath the liquid gold of the sun's rays. His eyeglasses reflected a bit of a glare from the light. His lips curved into an unreadable smile while the tan flesh of his chest became slightly exposed from the hunched over position he took to see her at eye level. Being a good head taller and maybe a bit more, he had to bow a bit to meet her gaze.

Tsukushi's face scrunched up for a second, studying her mother's current boyfriend standing so close to her proximity. The faint scent of his cologne, resembling some type of musk, filtered through her nose. What a coincidence meeting you here, Renjou-san, she politely greeted bowing slightly as a show of respect to her elder. Although at the moment, his disposition seemed to be much different from the corporate CEO in conservative business suit she had met before. Now, with his jacket slung over his shoulder, his shirt pulled out, untucked, and unbuttoned at the top, he could have passed for a few years younger and not the forty something man he really was. He was a man that had aged very well over the years.

I couldn't help but notice you standing here in front of this store window, he replied. I happened to take the rest of the afternoon off from the office, and was on my way out to get a cup of coffee. Would you like to join me?

She pondered over his question for a moment, and decided to refuse his offer, seeing as how she would be expected home soon. I'm sorry, but Mama is probably expecting me home soon. I should get going.

However, before she could dart off, a hand firmly seized her wrist, pulling her back. She stumbled backwards a few steps falling against a hard chest. Immediately her face flushed realizing the awkward position they were in. She pushed herself away from him, and placed her hand over her beating heart. Her eyes looked up to meet his, which were blazed with a hint of annoyance and persistence.

Come on, Tsukushi-chan. A little drink won't hurt much. I'll even drive you home afterwards to explain to your mother that I was the reason for your tardiness. Please?

She felt something heavy in the pit of her stomach as she graciously smiled at his offer. I don't know.

Please come. I was just discussing with your mother the other day the idea of perhaps getting to know you better. Your mother agreed with me that we should. He flashed his pearly white teeth, reassuring her of the validity of his words.

She shuffled her feet against the pavement before finally surrendering. If Mama thought it would be a good idea, it couldn't hurt. How about we go to that café over there. She pointed to the small outdoor café a few doors down the street and began trudging towards its general direction. She could sense another figure fall into place beside her. Her eyes stayed on the ground, focusing on the strange way his shadow seemed to envelope hers from behind as they walked.

They seated themselves in a small table on the sidewalk overlooking the passing traffic. At that time of day, the city seemed to have come to a snail's pace, with few pedestrians or cars.

Nervously, she fidgeted with the edge of her overly short skirt. Even though she had spent much time with the man before, it seemed like a completely different scenario without the stares of his son on her or the mindless banter of her mother. She silently wished her mother were there to fill the awkward silence.

I won't bite, he laughed with a deep hearty chuckle that seemed to rise from his chest. I don't think I'm that hideous. Or is it the fact you're embarrassed to be seen with such an old man?

Oh no! she gushed rather quickly, hoping she hadn't insulted the man. She knew at some level that one false step, could send her mother on a tirade about losing another man. She forced herself to lift her chin up and meet his eyes. I've never been much for making small talk, she confessed.

Oh, for a moment I was worried that I was becoming one of those men girls your age were ashamed to be seen with.

Not at all! Umm There are a ton of women who are falling over themselves at you. You really are quite handsome, devastatingly even. Her hand cupped her mouth, stopping herself from spouting any more idiotic rambling. Oh forget it. I'm really bad at small talk, she exhaled, exasperated with herself. She could feel her face burning up in humiliation. Her head fell onto the table with a dull thud. How about I just get up and leave, after making an idiot of myself beyond belief?

A warm hand fell on her head patting it gently. It's okay. I didn't mean to make you so nervous. It's actually quite nice to be referred to as devastatingly handsome, he smirked. Don't worry. I'll keep that between you and me.

She raised her head and sighed.

He leaned back against his chair, and tapped his fingers lightly on the tablecloth. I should be the one getting tongue tied around you. From what I've heard from my son, you're quite the heartbreaker yourself.

I wouldn't say that, she mumbled.

Oh really? He raised an eyebrow in disbelief. According to my son and his friends, you're quite popular. Too bad they're too young and stupid to get the courage to tell you that. They all assume you already have a boyfriend. Do you have one?

She raised her hands, emphasizing her point in their waving action. No! I don't have a boyfriend. I'm not really interested in anyone at school. I don't seem to have much in common with them. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong there, like I'm out of place.

He nodded his head in understanding. Reaching forward and placing his hand over hers, he smiled reassuringly. Well, they do say girls mature faster than boys. What you need, is a man.

The last statement left his lips in barely a whisper when he leaned forward. His face was all but a few centimeters from hers. She shrunk back with wide eyes, shocked at what he was doing. His hand reached out, pushing back a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

Their intimate position was disturbed when the waitress came out with the tray holding their drinks. He flashed her a mischievous smile, causing the poor serving woman to laugh idiotically. She shook her head, trying to rouse herself from her frazzled state, and set to work placing their drinks on their table.

Slowly, Renjou-san retreated back into his seat and picked up his cup of coffee, taking a small sip. Tsukushi followed in suit, and poured some sugar into her iced tea before tipping the tall glass back and gulping down half the glass. The refreshing liquid did little to relieve the fiery burning sensation on her cheeks. She carefully watched him pick up the sugar spoon and toss in a few dashes of sugar into his own cup. His hand searched the table for his own spoon to stir the black liquid in his cup, but he found nothing.

I seem to be missing a spoon.

Let me ask the waitress to bring you a new one, she offered, searching the sidewalk café for the woman.

No, don't bother. He plucked the spoon from her glass and dipped it into his own cup to stir the liquid before taking another small sip in satisfaction of the mixture. I'll just use yours.

What is he doing?

Once again for what seemed like the hundredth time that day, she blushed. Her fingers reached up to touch her lips while her eyes remained fixated on the spoon on the table. There was just something so unsettling about his actions, but he seemed so lackadaisical about the entire thing. Her mind swirled in deep thought, trying to analyze his actions and the subtle sexual innuendo in what he had done, trying to find some relationship between the two, yet at the same time, wanting to ignore that foreboding feeling in the pit of her stomach.

It was an indirect kiss.

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The incident was quickly forgotten as summer rolled along. Her mind became more focused on getting through the formalities of graduation, which went by without a hitch. It was much to her shock when she received the coveted dress she had been admiring a few weeks before. It had been found in the small pile of graduation presents in her room. Now that junior high was over and done with, there was something to look forward to, which was the prospect of spending a nice relaxing summer vacation.

She smiled down at the postcard in her hands, staring at the colorful images on the glossy card. It was the latest postcard from Tama, who after her forced retirement, decided to spend some time traveling. It was only fair, considering how the woman spent all her youthful years running after other people's children in the house while their parents frolicked in better climates, away from screaming children and responsibility for their offspring. With the more than generous retirement benefits set up by Shinimori-san and her own savings, she could live out the rest of her days comfortably.

I wonder what Tama will bring me back from Australia?

For the first time ever, summer was a time for her to be left to her own devices. Money was even tighter than usual, with her mother's need for extravagance, but with her job at the dango shop and some help from Susumu, things were being taken care of. It didn't matter much to her mother the fact that their bank account was falling fast towards the zero mark, but with her boyfriend of a few months taking care of most of her expenses, she was more than willing to reciprocate the favor. That meant more alone time for Tsukushi in the empty apartment, and more time for her to sneak out and see her brother.



She stopped in mid step, and spun around to see her brother running to catch up to her. What's up, my imouto-chan?

She frowned at his formality of calling her by her title as little sister, not quite used to the foreign word out of his mouth. Nothing much, onii-chan.

Okay, we should remember not to use those titles ever again. It's too weird. He slung an arm around her shoulder pushing his weight down on her. Where are you going?

She shoved him aside, escaping his heavy weight and stuck out her tongue in childish fashion. The way her hair was tied up into two braided pigtails only added to the effect. I was on my way to the book store.

You read way too much. You should be focusing more on getting some sunlight. It's too nice a summer to let it go to waste. How about we go to the beach soon? I've been dying to go for a while now.

Sounds fun, but shouldn't you be more focused on the club? It's only been open a few months now. You should be focusing on trying to keep the place afloat.

Psh. You worry too much. I am the golden god. Anything I touch turns to gold. The club is doing fine anyway.

It astounds me how you can stand upright while balancing that fat head of yours, she dryly replied.

Very funny. Shouldn't you be at work or something? I ran by there but that girl you work with, Yuuki, told me you left already.

Oh yeah. I had to leave early since Mama insisted we go out to dinner as a family, with Renjou-san and his son again. I swear that guy creeps me out with his staring. Sometimes, I wish I could just slam his face into his plate.

Ah, so I see your mother's latest conquest has proved to be fruitful. I weep for the pitiful man.

I wouldn't be laughing if I were you. According to Mama, their relationship is progressing quite nicely. She says he might be the one, and something about me needing a good, male role model in life.

Hey, I am a good role model.

I know better than to say that in front of her.

Do you really mind if she decides to get remarried?

She leaned towards him, resting her head against his chest as they walked at a sluggish pace. I don't really know. I don't think she'll think about remarrying for a few more years. By that time, I'll probably be in university.

They continued their pace, not even realizing that they had walked the full distance to her apartment complex. The large, looming building with the suspicious doorman shooting weird looks at Susumu watched them carefully from his workstation.

Have a nice dinner. Susumu bent down and kissed his sister on the forehead. Call me when you want to come over. I wanted to get your opinion on some design ideas for the club. I already e-mailed you the layouts to your account. Call me later and tell me what you think. I'll be home all day with nothing to do since you're going out, he sighed, seemingly depressed at having nothing to do. Shizuka went off to do some kind of photo shoot with Junpei. The club is closed for some minor repairs for the next few days. What's a lonely guy to do on a Friday night?

Tsukushi slapped him on the back and laughed. I'm sure you'll find something to do. Go bother Thomas or something.

Thomas is not as fun as you, he whined.

I'm sure he would not love to hear that.

He knows no one is as fun as my baby sister. He feigned a dreamy look on his face, bordering on what people referred to as the crazed fan-girl face. Come on and ditch them tonight. We can make popcorn and watch all the chick flicks you want. Fun, fun fun!

As tempting as it sounds, and as creepy as you are right now, I don't think so. I'll call you later though. We can talk some more then.



Be a good boy and I'll make it up to you later. See ya, she laughed. She walked away into the building, laughing all the way.

My brother really is weird.

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Are you excited about going to Eitoku this fall? Mito asked as I stared off into space at the dance floor. He fiddled with his napkin in his lap.

I guess, I absently replied. School is school. It can't be much different.

Conversation between Mito and Tsukushi was lacking as usual. Yet behind the facade of pleasantries, lay something much more. Most girls would have considered Renjou Mito quite handsome for his age, with the money to go with the looks. It was obvious he had acquired better elements of his gene pool, carrying the uncanny resemblance to his father. A few more years and some courage, and he could have charmed the panties off any woman or girl.

However, the one girl that mattered at the moment could not care less about him. Even after the few dozen dinners they had gone through, no real connection had been established. The two had barely grazed the surface of a rapport. It didn't help his case much that he would innocently sneak brief touches under the table, too.

She sighed again, poking at her plate of food. His staring was really getting on her nerves. Will you stop that? she growled under her breath. She felt a snaking hand sliding up her leg.

He jumped back a bit, startled at her outburst. Stop what?

Trying to look down my dress. Or would you prefer your hand to meet my fork once again? I'm really sick of your shit. Get your fucking hands off me. Now!

He leaned over and whispered into her ear, The guys really are right. You're nothing, but a little bitch. I thought, with a mother who spreads her legs open for any man, you would learn something useful. Maybe if you let me continue what I was doing, I'll buy you a nice necklace like my father did your mother. She wouldn't stop screaming his name that night.

She grinded her teeth, biting and feeling the fueling anger bubble within. That thin ice he had been treading on shattered, pulling her into an abyss of frigid hate. Her cool, calm demeanor fell apart as each hateful word was spit out at her. Her hand gripped the fork tightly, turning the skin white, and leaving an indentation of the metal. The shiny metal piece slammed onto the table with an unceremonious clatter. A twisted smile crossed her pink, tinted lips as her fingers grazed his thigh, moving in tortuous slow teasing trails up and down. Is this what you want? She maintained a small distance from the place where he wanted her to touch the most.

Fuck, yeah, he groaned, closing his eyes. I knew you'd be just like your mother.

Tsukushi leaned over, resting her head on his shoulder. His body tensed beneath her touches that seemed to move closer, yet not close enough. That's the problem with boys like you. All of you think with your dick. She lifted her fingers away and using her nails, pinched down with a vice grip on him.

he squealed. His face seemed to pale at the pain coursing through his body, as her grip tightened.

A few heads turned in their direction, but they ignored them upon seeing the teenage couple. Tsukushi continued to smile, nodding at them to leave the incident alone.

This is the last time I'm going to tell you this. If you lay another hand on me ever again, I'll make sure that you never have feeling here again, and you should believe that as a fact. What my mother does is not my business. She's her own person just as I am. Her nails dug in harder and harder, and he gripped the sides of the chair, trying to fight the urge to scream. Have I made myself clear?

he squeaked. His face turned oddly faint.

She released him, and wiped her defiled hand on the table. I can't even be here, she muttered to herself. Tell them whatever, but I need to get away from you now, before I do something much worse to you. She pushed her chair back, and stood, grabbing her purse.

Stomping out of the elegant restaurant, she looked back to see her mother obliviously dancing, with a blissful smile on her face. She showed pure triumph in the way her eyes sparkled under the crystal chandeliers.

I'm nothing like you.

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She never made that call to Susumu that night, nor did she even bother looking at the design plans he had sent. All Tsukushi wanted to do when she returned home was crawl into a warm bath to scrub away the vile touches of Mito. What started out as a bad night had only turned worse when she realized she didn't even have enough money for a cab home. Instead of calling her brother for a ride home, which she knew he would have gladly obliged to do so, she chose not to. If he found out what the young man had proposed earlier, there would have been some bloodshed. So, she walked home, all twenty-seven blocks back home. It took her about an hour and a half in her heels, but even after all that time had lapsed, she was welcomed to an empty apartment.

Quietly, the door creaked open to the darkened apartment and its deathly silence. She slipped inside and locked the door behind her, rubbing her sore feet, cursing the person, who had to be a man, who invented heels. Silence greeted her less than grand entrance.

Empty.

Her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting of the city lights casting into their darkened apartment, illuminating the wall in a multitude of bright hues. They seemed to dance on the white walls like a spinning kaleidoscope, never really focusing into any one coherent picture. She dragged her body towards the bathroom, and fumbled with the knobs to fill the porcelain tub. Random bath salts from the large array of jars were sprinkled into the clear pool, causing effervescent foam to form on the surface. The only sound, except for the loud rush of water spouting into the tub, was the wrinkling of her clothing being slipped down to the floor.

Her mind had blanked out completely, pushing out any of her senses from the sound of the splashing water, the warm touch of it to her skin, or the sweet scent wafting in the air. For the time being, she was dead to the world. Somewhere on the ground, her purse rattled from the vibrations of her cell phone, as her voicemail box was being bombarded by more angry calls from her mother, for rudely leaving so early.

His words replayed over and over again in her head until a dull throb formed in her head.

Her voice echoed in the large bathroom, resounding the words repeatedly in her deathly low voice. I knew you'd be just like your mother.

The steam rose in the air, hazing her vision, clouding all coherent thought along with the misty atmosphere. Everything seemed to blur all at once into a deep void of nothingness. As her head sunk lower and lower down the side of the tub, she found herself being slowly submerged. Inch by inch, she fell deeper and deeper into the depths of pure constriction and isolation. The water was only a few degrees above a respectable bathing temperature, but the liquid seemed to scald her skin in a way, peeling away all impure thoughts, all the unsettling feelings and all emotions whatsoever.

I'm not her.

Her cheeks swelled and deflated. Air expunged from her lips, sending small bubbles of air while at the same time emptying her lungs out. Now she lay, holding herself beneath the water, waiting and holding.

Juts a little longer.

Time stopped all in itself. The overwhelming power filled her, letting her take the control she so desperately needed. It was pure foolishness or that so called teenage angst that propelled her to that dark place that resides within us all. It's that place in our souls, where our deepest fears, desires, truths, and lies all lay intertwined, like some sordid affair. It was dangerous territory to tread on, for one small tip of the scale, and all could be lost to that pulling force, that tug of war, for good and evil.

I won't be safe, though.

Her pale fingertips scratched at the sides of the tub, and instinct took over when she flew upwards. Rivulets of water dripped from her hair and down her face as her opened mouth greedily sucked in as much precious air as possible. Her chest heaved, as dry, wracking coughs reverberated through her body.

Not until she lets me go.

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That night, she slept fitfully. She barely recalled having the strength to pull her limp body from the tub to her bedroom. She shivered beneath the sheets, pulling her thin robe tighter around her neck to ward off the cold chill that developed in the night.

It was out of habit that she had stayed up late, waiting for the sound of keys jangling in the lock to the front door. For some odd reason, she could never allow herself to rest until her mother was safe at home. It must have been sometime around two or three in the morning when they stumbled through the front door. She remained completely still in her bed, afraid that the slightest sound from her room would draw their inebriated attention towards her. Her eyes remained screwed shut as beams of light shot through the bottom of her door from the hallway. She could hear her mother's giggles and slurred speech as she begged Renjou-san to not leave her alone for the night. From what she could gather, he had agreed and they retreated into her bedroom, where the muffled sounds of their lovemaking pulsed between the walls.

Her moans, and her nonexistent silent screams made her stomach turn. For the first time in her entire life, she saw what everyone else saw. And for that very same reason, she hated herself for even letting those thoughts invade her mind. Pieces began to form in her mind, wondering if what she had believed to be right had been wrong the entire time. Perhaps, all she had ever received from Shinimori-san was just some sort of rewards for her mother's services.

Everything I am, all that I know, she sold her body for.

Life is just one big business transaction. You put your services out there, and you get paid in full for it.

Tsukushi rolled over once again, and her heavy lidded eyes slowly opened. Through her bleariness, she could make out the faint shuffle of footsteps. With her guard slightly down, she closed her eyes once again, ignoring the sounds. She chose to bury her face deeper within her pillows to muffle out the strange creaking noises.

Slowly, her door opened by the tiniest crack. All the lights in the apartment remained off, so the encroachment upon her personal space went unnoticed. His steps were catlike in stealth, making him move like the waves of water, unnoticed and unheard. The tall frame stood beside the bed, and he looked down at the young girl lying peacefully in bed. Her robe had managed to slip off her shoulder slightly, revealing a teasing amount of her flesh to his hungry eyes. A long piece of fabric fell from his fisted hand, and he stepped forward.

Something pulled her out of her dream, but she didn't quite know what it was. One minute she was lost to the blissful world of sleep, and the next she could feel a painful tug of her head. Automatically her body reacted to the less than pleasant motion, and she shot up to try to push away whatever it was. The urge to scream rose in her throat, but no sound would come out. The thick taste of silk filled her mouth, and her eyes widened to find herself pinned to her own bed and her mother's lover hovering naked above her.

You're awake, he whispered. A delighted smirk crossed his lips. A sort of humorous comedy glared in his eyes at their current situation.

Tsukushi struggled to scream, to kick, to do anything to fight him off of her, but to no avail did anything she tried succeed. Her body violently thrashed beneath him, wriggling against his nude form. Her movements only spurred on further enjoyment from him, as his chuckle reached her ears. Her large doe eyes looked into his feral ones, trying to make some sort of reason out of it all. Once again, she madly thrashed against him, and this time she managed to push him off long enough to roll onto the ground. She scrambled onto her feet to make a run for the door, but was tackled to the soft carpet with a dull thud. She kicked, clawed, and punched at his heavy body, but felt his large hands grip her leg and pull her back toward the bed. She was picked off the ground, and thrown onto the bed in such haste that her head hit one of the ends of the bed.

A warm trail of blood flowed from the side of her mouth, where her lips had bust open. She could feel the coppery crimson liquid dripping down her chin, and a slight pounding, dull ache throbbed in her head from the bump forming on her head.

You never thanked me properly for the gift, he gently reprimanded her, tapping his finger on her nose in a playful manner. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. I thought a good girl like you would have been taught better manners when someone gives you a gift? What would your mother think of you? Just be a good girl and do what I say. You wouldn't want anything bad to happen to your mother if you don't. She wouldn't be very happy if I left her because you refused to obey me, now, would you? I know you want to make you Mama happy.

She looked at him with bewilderment clearly written all over her face.

What gift?

He smiled, and leaned his face downwards nipping and sucking at her skin from her jaw line to her shoulder. His knees closed, tightening the grip he had around her legs. Another scream was stifled when she felt something warm and hard brushing against her inner thigh. He took one of her hands and her robe opened, exposing her body to him and his hungry eyes. With one swift snatching movement, the tie from her robe was pulled off, and he began to wind it around one of her wrists, tightly cuffing her. The other end was pulled taut, stretching across her chest to meet her other wrist. Both hands became bound, allowing only free movement of her fingers.

I see you wore the dress just for me, he breathily whispered into her neck, as he trailed long, wet kisses down her throat. You have no idea how much it turned me on to see you in it. His rough, calloused hands stroked her soft, delicate skin, sending shivers through her body. Slowly, his fingers' grip dug deeper into her skin, leaving jagged red marks on the white canvas.

She whimpered like a wounded animal, and closed her eyes, forcing the tears to spill from her eyes. Tiny little muffled sounds emitted from her mouth behind the gag. All strength seemed to drain from her body at once. In a pitiful attempt to get her message out more clearly she repeated the same phrase over and over again, which came out sounding more like mournful shrieks.

Please, don't do this.

It'll all be over soon, and don't even think of your mother walking in on us. I've already taken care of her. After some satisfying exercise in the bed, she's a very deep sleeper, you know. His free hand played with the ends of the tie gagging her mouth. Such a pity that you have to wear this. I would have loved to hear you scream.

Someone help me.

His hand moved away from her breast, and moved downwards, crossing over her flat stomach and stopping near her waist. His index finger traced the contours of her pelvic bone, reaching towards a place where no one had ever touched her before. In one swift jerk, the digit inserted itself into her, and she muffled a small cry of pain. Her muscles clenched, wanting to force the foreign entity out of her body. She didn't quite know how to describe exactly what it felt like. In a way, she could only feel an uncomfortable stretching in her inner walls that bordered on tearing or a jerking sensation. She wanted to scream an earth-shattering cry when she realized he had torn right through the barrier of her proof of virginity.

Make it stop.

You're so tight, he moaned, closing his eyes, letting his finger caress her. Has anyone ever touched you like this before? You look like too much of a good girl to have ever let anyone touch you before. Tell me, has any man ever made you feel this way? His finger rubbed over an overly sensitive bundle of nerves, causing her to shudder. His voice became more and more demanding and fierce as he pushed another digit into her. They began to push in and out of her at a faster pace, twisting and turning, pushing and pulling. His heavy panting warmth breaths tickled her skin as he enveloped one of her nipples into his mouth, sucking on it. In a scolding tone, he asked her once more. Has anyone ever touched you like this before?!

Everything inside of her wanted to do anything to make him stop. That feeling of violation and disgust overrode any of her current consciousness, as she drowned in her own fear. Slowly, she shook her head, answering his question.

Why me?

he groaned into the silent night air. You are too innocent for your own good, my dear. I've watched you for a long time. We all have. I've always noticed you like the others, wondering what it would feel like, to be the first to touch you, to taste you. A pretty little face and a body like yours screams to be explored. It was worth it to go through your mother to get to you. I had to endure that old bitch for so long just to get here. I did this for you. Do you know what you do to me? Do you? his hand clutched her bound hands, bringing them down to his hardened arousal, letting her tiny hands cup him. He hissed in pleasure the second her virginal hands touched him. You do this to me.

It'll be over soon. Won't it?

Like this, he directed her, guiding her hands to massage him in a way that seemed to bring out more heavy pants from him. He moved her hand up and down, guiding it at a pace and grip he seemed to enjoy more and more with each passing moment. Soon, his pace became faster and faster, as if building up some great crescendo of music to some vague big finish.

She could feel herself slipping in and out of consciousness. The hit to her head seemed to be worsening as more time passed. The experience itself had forced her mind to retreat to another place, anywhere but there.

A warm, sticky substance coated her hands as he let out what sounded like one long, painful moan, and his body convulsed into a shuddering mess beside her. His chest heaved erratically up and down. A thin coat of sweat drenched his body. He rolled over to his side, looming over her body. His eyes fell on her soiled hands, and he grinned lasciviously. We're in for a long night of fun. I'm not finished yet. I'm going to make your first time something you'll never forget. First, let's have a little more fun. Don't worry, baby. We have all night to ourselves.

She lay there limply, with a glazed over look on her face, not quite hearing the words coming out of his mouth any longer. Every once in awhile, she could feel her body's reactions to his touches, but did nothing to stop him. Perhaps it was hope that he would tire soon of this game that forced her to lie there ever so still. Maybe it was the large bruise on her head that sent her mind into a spinning, spiraling haze that made her do so. Mostly, it was fear and shame of what she had let transpire thus far that kept her quiet.

His tongue darted out and licked her earlobe before taking the entire thing into his mouth sucking on it. The sharp tips of his teeth gently bit down. I want to watch you.

Watch what?

I want to watch you touch yourself. He picked her bound hands up and moved them to the place he wanted. He pulled out one of her fingers and positioned it in between the folds of her legs. Don't be shy. Go ahead. Just do like I did before, he urged her on.

Her own vomit rose up in her throat, but was painfully forced back down when her body realized the passageway of her mouth had been blocked. The tears now stung in her eyes, and she shook uncontrollably with sobs. Her fingers twitched, still covered in a thick coat of his semen and now some of the blood that had trailed down her thighs from his previous forceful entry.

he hissed. It was all worth it to get to you. Your mother has been used one too many times. Nothing can compare to the younger model. She's lucky I even fucked her for so long.

His hungry eyes remained on her hands, as she slowly and hesitantly worked themselves inside of her. He barely even noticed when the door to the bedroom creaked open.

What the fuck is going on?! a shrill scream bellowed into the tiny room.

Tsukushi immediately stopped and turned her head to look at her savior. Her face contorted into a slight smile of joy to be rescued.

It's not what it looks like! Renjou-san screamed as he scrambled up from the bed, clutching the sheet around his waist.

Her mother's grip tightened on the doorknob. All the color seemed to drain from her face, and she staggered forward. Her slight stumbling steps marred her normally graceful, sweeping gait. You've done it again, she spat out. Her voice slurred the words out. She stepped closer and closer revealing her darkened face and her enraged eyes. You have always taken what's mine! First, it was your father. Then it was Shinimori. Now, him too. I'm so fucking tired of having to take care of an ungrateful little bitch like you. Everything that has ever been wrong in my life has been your fault. She raised a shaky finger towards her lover who was standing shocked, by the side of the bed. You! Leave. Get out!

Not wasting another second, he obediently grabbed the sheet and ran out of the room, in search of some clothes. After a few loud fumbles to the ground and the rustle of clothes, the front door slammed shut.

Kana returned her gaze towards her bound daughter. She tore at the knot binding her tiny hands together, and violently yanked the gag from her mouth.

Tsukushi weakly whispered, searching for some comfort.

The back of kana's hand found its way to her face, knocking her over onto her side. Her body bounced up and down on the mattress from the force of the impact.

Don't call me that! I hate you. Every time I see you, it disgusts me. You had to steal him, didn't you? You take all of them away. I hear what they say about you. They all mock me as if I wasn't there, whispering behind my back about how beautiful my daughter is, how innocent she is. I see the looks they give you. They used to look at me the same way.



Get out of my house, she said in a low, warning tone. I want you out.

Tsukushi continued to stare at her, confused by her request.

You heard me! Get out! I will not have a worthless whore living under my roof! You probably thought it would be funny to seduce my boyfriend, huh?! When she saw Tsukushi making no movement to do as she was told so, she grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her off the bed and onto the ground.

She winced in pain, grabbing at the large bunch of hair her mother had tightened her grip on. Don't do this, Mama. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Don't do this.

She repeatedly spouted out apologies, begging her mother's forgiveness, but was met only by another strong tug on her hair, dragging her across the floor and out of the apartment. When they had reached the entrance, she released her hair and shoved her out of the door. Tsukushi stumbled into the hall and fell against the wall. She watched in horror as her mother gave her one last withering, disgusted look and slammed the door on her. Quickly, she ran forward and pounded her fists against the door, not caring how loud she was or if the neighbors heard. Mama! Let me inside! Mama! Please!

Later, she wouldn't remember how long she pounded, screamed, and begged outside the door. She screamed until she lost all of her voice. When the sound of one of the occupants' doors being opened down the hall was heard, panic captured her. She clutched at the collar of her thin robe, and ran barefoot towards the fire exit. She would not let anyone see her like that.

Don't see me

The brisk summer air hit her body at full force as she stumbled out of the back service exit of the apartment complex. She ran out into the alleyway, gasping for air, from her fast flight down the several sets of stairs. Clad in nothing but a bathrobe, she walked out into the street. As if under some type of spell, she walked. For how long, she didn't know. To where she was headed, she had no idea either. Realization of what had just occurred had yet to settle in completely, so she wandered the streets barefoot, in the middle of the night.

Her tired eyes looked up at the door, and she could see the door number begin to blur. She knew her own hand was raised to press on the doorbell. It fell onto the small button and pressed hard and long. Everything around her seemed to shake and spin in a winding, twisting motion. She never even felt it when her body fell to the ground.

---------------------------------------

She woke up feeling something warm and soft beneath her.

Where am I? I feel soft sheets and pillows. How did I get here?! The last thing I remember

Tsukushi's body jerked up abruptly, sending the blanket wrapped around her falling to her waist. Her eyes opened wide, as she took in her surroundings, feeling confused and disoriented as to where she was.

God, Tsukushi! You're awake! a voice yelled, gripping her hand.

She slowly turned her head to the side to see her brother's face intently staring at her own. Her gaze turned to look down to see herself dressed in one of his oversized dress shirts. How did I get here?

His eyebrows knitted, and his lips settled into a thin line. I found you lying on the ground outside my door. You scared me shitless You're lips were busted opened and bleeding. You had a nasty bump and bruises all over your face. There were scratches all over your body. Fuck, you were completely naked, except for the torn robe you had on!

Her hand reached up to clutch her head, as all of his yelling was giving her a headache. How long have I been sleeping?

You've been out for the last two days. I was beginning to worry that you might not wake up. Do you do you remember what happened?

The uncontrollable tears that streamed down her face and the heavy convulsion for her body answered his question. Her palms cupped her face as she bent over sobbing. He made me do things

Susumu quietly hushed her. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, and pulled her into an embrace letting her cry into his chest.

They remained like that for the rest of the day. For Tsukushi, the pain of her scars and the tears would not cease.

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She clutched his hand like a lifeline, to make sure he stayed by her side. The key in her hand trembled violently as she moved to put it into the lock.

Susumu whispered to her, kissing the top of her head. I'll be with you the entire time.

For Susumu, it took a lot of self-control to bring her back to the scene of the crime. Four days since Tsukushi had woken up had passed. They were four of the most unpleasant days of his life. After a very thorough check up with a doctor friend of his, and confirming Tsukushi's semi-intact virginity and safety, he still seethed with anger. It was the little consolation that the man had never fully consummated his act. It was the unbearable suffering of knowing there was nothing he could ever do to make the pain go away for her that angered him. He could never give her back her dignity or her innocence. That man had stripped those of her. What made it even worse was Tsukushi's refusal to bring the culprit forward. He wanted to rush out and kill the bastard, but Tsukushi's constant attachment to him made that rather difficult. She refused to be left alone without him now, fearing some invisible, horrible evil lurking in the shadows.

Her silence was even more deafening. After a few random, jumbled statements here and there, she confined herself to silence, refusing to speak further on the matter itself. In a way, it seemed as if she willed herself to pretend that nothing had happened at all. Denial was her method of coping.

Lets go. Tsukushi weakly smiled. She pushed open the door and walked into the apartment, on seeing the warm light of the summer afternoon filter into the large living room. Hesitantly, she padded through the seemingly empty home, heading straight for her bedroom.

Where do you think you are going? a voice asked from behind her.

She slowly turned around to see her mother standing in the doorway, looking suspiciously from her to her brother.

I'm taking Tsukushi, Susumu resolutely declared, pushing the girl behind him. He briefly turned around, and nudged Tsukushi. Go get your things. I'll be right outside waiting for you.

Uh huh, she nodded. Tsukushi didn't waste another minute and hurried into her room, closing the door behind her. What she found shocked her to no end. It was like any trace of the abomination that occurred had been wiped out of existence. Her sheets and comforter had been replaced. The spot on the corner post of her bed, where she recalled her blood coating, had been wiped clean. All the items that had been knocked off her nightstand now lay neatly organized on its surface.

It's as if nothing happened.

She shook herself out of those thoughts and ran into her closet to pull out a bag. She wasted no time and began to empty random drawers of their contents, pulling out anything of real value to her. While she occupied herself with ransacking her room for valuables, she could hear the low murmur of calm voices outside.

------------------------

I have everything I need, she announced as she walked out of her room. She turned to see Susumu ever so calmly sitting on the couch across from her mother.

Let me take that for you, Susumu offered, standing up right away. He tossed the oversized duffel bag over his shoulder and squeezed her arm in support. Lets go.

She timidly turned to her mother for any sign of redemption on her part, but saw that she had averted her face from her, refusing to even acknowledge her departure. I'm leaving now, Mama, she weakly called out.

No response came, and any lingering hope on her part for her mother to prove her wrong had died with that silence. She felt Susumu tug at her arm, and snapped out of her thoughts to follow him out the door. Her footsteps were heavy and slow, waiting for something, if anything, from the woman sitting so calmly in the living room. The final piece of her broken heart fell to the ground with a crash when she heard the sharp words directed at her as she walked out the door. They crushed any remaining ties of loyalty and childish blind love for the woman.

Never show your face to me again.

---------------------

That was the last time Tsukushi would see her mother for a few years. The woman would disappear from her life without a trace, without even a word of where she could be found. The idea of abandonment would long lie within her forcing her to resort to that place where the scared little girl cried out for her mother, but found no comfort when no one came. It was a void that would never be filled building up on the loss she suffered.

It was just added insult to the emotional scars that she would carry for the rest of her life. No longer would Tsukushi look at a man or anyone for that matter with a sense of free ease and trust. From careful observation, they would always catch that hint of distrust and fear. Even with her brother, she would guard herself hiding her innermost thoughts and emotions.

Tsukushi swore to herself that no one would ever prove worthy of her full trust, The child inside of her died that night leaving a shell of a person behind. The little girl that embodied all that was good in the world would never see the world through her rose colored lenses.

The last lesson her mother taught her would be the greatest one of them all.

Life is a bitch.







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A/N: I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I wrote this chapter. It took me way too long to do it, and I'm still slightly disturbed by it. Now I'm left wondering how to start off the next chapter of the Tsukushi arc. Bleh. For those wondering what I've been doing, I've been so diligently ignoring my school stuff during spring break while I clear out my desktop of all the unfinished fanfic chapters floating around. I'm going at a pace of about one chapter every two days.

I'm very much in a bitchy mood right now. Partly because I know I'll be paying for goofing off later when I have my finance exam next week. Could be the fact that I have that damn song in my head making me think back to the mid 90's when we all thought Hanson was MTV worthy. Lastly, there is the horror of knowing that I live in a country that would allow a guy like William Hung to sell an album with his famous rendition of She Bangs for $11.99. The shame