Contented
In Solitude
What happiness, who can enjoy alone,
Or all enjoying, what contentment find?
John Milton—'Paradise Lost'
July 31, 2001—Oceanside, Georgia, United States
An obnoxious sound filled the bedroom, disturbing the slumbering figure on the bed. Emerald eyes fluttered then squinted against the sunlight pouring in through the open curtains as the young man fumbled on his bedside table for the ringing phone. "'Ello?"
"Happy birthday, sleepyhead!" a cheerful voice answered the drowsy question. "Let me guess, I just woke you up?"
Harry laughed softly as he flopped back onto the bed. "Course you did, Robin. What time is it, anyway?" He squinted at the clock and groaned when he saw that it was close to ten.
"Time for you to get your lazy butt out of bed and get ready for the best birthday you've ever had! There is a certain young lady here who is anxious to see you." Robin teased lightly.
Harry smiled, "Oh, is she indeed? Well, give me thirty minutes to get ready, then come on over, 'kay?"
"Sure, sweetie. See you soon."
Harry hung up the phone, grabbed his glasses and put them on. Standing up, he stretched and groaned as several places in his back cracked. "Damn, must be getting old!" he mocked to himself as he headed into the bathroom.
Twenty-five minutes later, freshly showered and shaved, he was finishing the buttons on his shirt when a muted knock was heard at the door. Quickly tucking his shirt into the band of his jeans, he went to the door and opened it.
"Daddy, 'appy birfday!" A tiny child launched herself at Harry, who barely caught her in time. "Robbie and me 'ave sometin' for you."
Hugging his daughter close, he said, "Dria, I missed you baby. Give daddy a kiss?"
After receiving a few sloppy baby kisses, he placed Dria in her playpen in the living room and turned to the young woman standing in the doorway. "Thanks Robin, for watching Dria last night. I'm not sure I would have made it without your help." Gesturing towards the living room, he asked, "Do you want some breakfast? I was about to cook up some eggs and toast."
"Eggs sound good—scrambled, please. Mike will be over in a minute, if you wouldn't mind making a bit extra." Robin Davenport, a tall, willowy blond, moved towards the couch.
"No problem. So, what's the plan for today?" Harry began moving around his kitchen, pulling eggs, milk and butter from the refrigerator. He quickly mixed up the eggs, added some seasoning and poured the mixture into a frying pan. As the eggs cooked, he fixed some toast and put some milk into a sippy cup for Dria. Placing the food onto the table, he went to fetch the baby.
"Just the barbeque this afternoon." Robin got up and began setting the table for the meal. "By the way, how did the show go last night?"
"Great. I sold one piece and had several people interested in others. The owner of the gallery was quite enthusiastic about the turnout." Harry smiled at his friend as he placed the baby in her high chair. He handed her a spoon, a plate of eggs and her sippy cup, then dropped a kiss on the top of her head.
Robin smiled happily, "How wonderful, Harry! I'm not surprised, though. Your artwork is truly amazing. The imagination you put into it is truly incredible."
Harry grinned at his friend's fervor. Little did she know that his sketches and paintings weren't from his imagination—but were based on the world in which he had grown up. Wizards and witches, castles and flying brooms inhabited his canvases, appealing to the muggle public as fantasy works of art.
After Harry had fled Hogwarts and Britain, he found himself in New York City, where there was a large wizarding population. Three months pregnant, he had sought out the best mediwizard possible. Fortunately, he was young and in excellent physical condition, due to his years of Quidditch playing, as well as the additional training he had received in the fight against Voldemort, so there had been no complications during the pregnancy.
After staying in a hotel for a couple of weeks, he had found a small studio apartment in the city. Not wanting word of his whereabouts to get back to Hogwarts, he kept mostly to himself. He lived off his savings until his daughter was born and spent most of his free time immersed in his art.
Upon the arrival of his daughter, Harry had packed up his small family and moved to a relatively unpopulated beach town in the southeastern United States. There he purchased a two-bedroom condo, with a wonderful view of the ocean, all the modern conveniences that muggle technology could provide, and a large sun-filled room that served as his studio.
Robin Davenport and Michael Fitzsimmons, his new neighbors, came over the day he moved in and introduced themselves. The young couple quickly became a daily fixture in the lives of both Harry and baby Dria. Both loved to watch Dria, and as Harry's career as an artist blossomed, he found himself leaving her with them at least once a month. Last night was a perfect example.
A last minute phone call a week earlier from a local gallery had had Harry scrambling to collect his artwork together. The previous evening Harry had attended the show, where he was one of the featured artists. As he had told Robin, he had sold one piece outright, and had lined up enough commissions to keep himself busy for several months.
A knock on the door brought him from his thoughts. "That must be your boyfriend. He always shows up when the food is ready!" Harry laughed as he made his way to the door. "Good morning, Mike. You're just in time. Breakfast is on the table."
"Morning, Harry. Ready for the party this afternoon?" The tall stocky man smiled at Harry, then walked over to Robin and gave her a quick kiss. He turned to the toddler, who was busy smearing eggs into her hair. "Morning, Miss Dria. Don't you look a sight?"
"Hi, 'ikey. I eatin' eggers."
"Yes, I can see that." Mike smiled at the little girl as he pulled out an empty chair and sat down at the dining room table.
"I'm looking forward to the barbeque. It's been a stressful week getting ready for the show. I'm going to enjoy a little down time." Harry calmly began cleaning up the mess Dria had made. "So, who is coming?"
"Mike's sister Marie and her family, Robert, Thom and Julia from the gallery and best of all, my big brother Joshua. He's been in Europe for the past year and I'm anxious to have him home for a while," Robin gushed. "He got back in town yesterday and promised me he would come today."
Smiling at the excited young woman, Harry replied, "I'm looking forward to meeting him then, since you think he's so great. If you don't mind me asking, what was he doing in Europe for so long?"
"He works for the U.S. government as some sort of diplomat. I'm not sure what he does though—he's not allowed to talk about it. He says we wouldn't believe him even if he did tell us." Robin started giggling, "Mom, Dad and I figure he's some sort of undercover agent—like James Bond. Too bad he doesn't have all the cool gadgets though." She gave Harry a sideways look and added, "There is one way he's not like Bond—he's not interested in the ladies."
Harry held up a hand and warned, "Robin, please remember—no matchmaking." In the year and a half they had known each other, Robin had introduced him to probably a dozen different men. She was continuously disappointed when Harry showed no interest in any of them.
The blond woman grinned unrepentantly and retorted, "Hey, you can't blame a girl for trying. I don't understand why a guy as wonderful as you would want to be alone. One of these days…" The friends laughed as Harry shook his head in mock exasperation.
"You keep trying, sweetie."
The three adults continued to discuss the afternoon get-together until they were finished eating. Harry stood up and began clearing the table, then noticed Dria was yawning widely. He looked at Robin in surprise when she started laughing.
"Poor little one! She was so excited about making your birthday present last night that she didn't get to sleep until late. Then the silly thing woke up at the crack of dawn, ready to come over and give you your gift. I had a difficult time convincing her to wait until this afternoon."
"Well, I guess a quick clean up and a nap are in order. We will see you down at the beach pavilion around three, okay?" Harry picked Dria up and headed for the bathroom. "Later, guys."
Harry heard the front door close as he started to remove Dria's clothes. "Goodness, baby girl, did you get any food in your tummy, or just all over you? Alright, into the bath with you."
"Bubbles daddy, peaz?" Dria giggled as Harry added some bubble bath to the water. She began splashing both hands into the frothy bubbles until Harry began washing her hair. "Yucky, daddy!" She tried to duck her father's hand, but he held her still in the tub.
"Sorry, baby. I've gotta do it. We don't want dried eggs in your beautiful curls, now do we?" Harry quickly rinsed her hair, then reached for a towel. "Time to get out and take a nap before the party, sweet pea." He removed her from the tub, wrapped her small body in the towel and reached over to drain the bathwater.
The young wizard carried Dria over to the changing table, dried her off and dressed her in a diaper and a tee shirt. He gently placed her in her crib, where she began rubbing her eyes and yawning. "Night, night, daddy."
He pulled a blanket up over her and whispered, "Sweet dreams, baby girl. I love you." Harry turned off the lights and switched on the radio. As a lullaby softly played, he watched as Dria popped her thumb in her mouth and quickly fell asleep. Gazing down at his daughter, he felt his heart clench. As Dria grew from a baby into a toddler, she looked more and more like her father. Her other father—the same man who had broken Harry's heart. The Hogwarts Potion Master, Severus Snape.
He quietly left the nursery and walked into the living room where he flopped onto the couch. He reached towards a side table, opened the drawer and removed a photo album, which he began flipping through. Soon he was caught up in thoughts of the past.
When Snape refused to continue Harry's training after the pensieve incident in Harry's fifth year, Albus Dumbledore had taken over teaching Harry Occlumency during his sixth and seventh year. However, as Death Eater activities increased during the fall of Harry's seventh year, he had insisted to both Harry and Severus that it was imperative that Snape once again begin training the young Gryffindor. After several heated discussions, Snape had reluctantly agreed, teaching not only Occlumency, but also the Dark Arts, as well as some martial arts. It was during the physical training that Harry and Snape's relationship began to change.
In the spring, the training had become extremely intense and as the days progressed, Harry became more and more aware of the Potion Master's physical presence. He quickly became frustrated with the conflicted emotions he had about the professor. One day, after a particularly brutal duel, Harry's patience had run out.
"My goodness, Mr. Potter, is this the best you can do? I have no idea how anyone expects you to defeat the Dark Lord. You're too busy dealing with your adoring public to be serious about your role in the war. How like your father you are. He was always obsessed with his popularity, as well.
"Goddamnit, Snape. When will you realize my name is Harry, not James? You have no reason to hate me, although I admit you have sufficient reason to hate my father."
Snape snarled at Harry, "Come on, Potter. Like father, like son. Arrogant, attention-seeking little pricks…"
Harry stopped thinking and just acted. Balling his right hand into a fist, he took a swing at Snape's jaw. However, the punch failed to make contact when Snape caught his hand and jerked Harry's smaller body flush with his own.
Shocked green eyes looked up into obsidian ones. Harry quickly realized that Snape was as affected by him as he was Snape—the physical evidence was irrefutable. His breath caught as he took in the blaze of lust on Snape's face, then he completely forgot to breathe as his mouth was captured in a devouring kiss.
"Harry…" Severus groaned as he pulled the young Gryffindor into a fierce embrace. "Merlin, you're so… I want…" Severus didn't complete his sentence; he just attacked Harry's slender body. Hands roamed down a muscular back, sliding under the green-eyed wizard's tee shirt and suddenly jerked it over his head.
Harry stood there, momentarily confused by what had just happened. He blinked up at the other man, then realizing what the kiss meant, slowly began to smile. He stepped closer to the warm body in front of him. Slowly unbuttoning the dull black buttons on Severus' dueling robes, he pressed wet kisses on each delicious inch of skin as it was revealed.
Severus pulled back slightly and breathlessly asked, "Harry, are you sure?"
Harry reached up, nipping at Severus' earlobe as he whispered, "Oh yeah. Can we move this to somewhere a bit more private?" The only response he received was to be pulled from the room and along dark passageways to the Potion Master's private chambers.
As soon as the door was closed behind them, Severus found himself pinned to the wall. Talented fingers skimmed lightly over his chest as a warm mouth latched onto a nipple. His body arched into the sensation as Harry suckled him.
Harry peeked up at Severus through his eyelashes and said, "Relax, Severus and enjoy. I've wanted to do this for so long." He slowly lowered himself to his knees, dropping wispy kisses against the taut stomach until Severus groaned. Holding the man's hips to steady him, he slowly dragged his tongue in circles around it as he fumbled at the buttons on Severus' trousers. He drew in a deep breath as Severus' fully erect cock appeared, then suddenly took it deep into his mouth. He pulled back slowly, running his tongue along the bottom of the full member until he reached the mushroom-shaped head. His tongue swirled in lazy circles around the slit, lapping up the beads of pre-cum as he reached up and began to caress Severus' balls.
Severus was grateful for the wall behind his back—he wasn't sure his knees would continue to support him. His senses were on overload—he was amazed at the sensations the young man's clever mouth was drawing from him. He looked down and watched as Harry's head bobbed up and down along his erection. Gasping when Harry increased the pressure the head, he reached down and entwined his fingers in the raven locks and moaned, "Merlin, Harry. I'm gonna… HARRY!"
Harry held the jerking hips below his hands firmly as Severus found his release, swallowing all of the other man's essence. Finally he slid the softened cock from his mouth and stood up, capturing the narrow lips with his own and whispered, "I want you to fuck me."
The Potions Master growled and swept the young man up in his arm, heading for the bedroom. Dropping him onto the soft mattress, he frantically removed his clothes, then reached over and undid Harry's jeans, pulling them down his slim hips and tossed them to the side. He slowly crawled up the slim body and pressed down, aligning their erections together, and captured Harry's full pouty lips with his own.
Harry moaned softly. He wanted more—he wanted everything this man could offer. He gasped out, "Severus, fuck… please—more… fuck me…"
"Gladly." Severus began kissing Harry, caressing the smooth silky skin. Their frenzied kisses soon progressed to more, as they each frantically pulled the other, trying to get as close as possible. Skin rubbed against skin as Severus entered Harry, both men were gasping with need.
His head moving from side to side, Harry was almost incoherent with lust. As Severus pumped his hips harder and harder, he felt his world spin out of control. His last clear thought as he reached his orgasm was how perfect this was, how perfect Severus was.
Their relationship had rapidly progressed from there. Harry began Auror training in London immediately after graduation, and had apparated back to Hogwarts every evening to be with Severus.
On Harry's eighteenth birthday, Severus had taken him to a restaurant in muggle London. After dinner, they had gone dancing at a local club then apparated home. As they walked towards Hogwarts, Severus had stopped and pulled Harry close to him.
"Harry, love, I hope you have had a good birthday so far." Severus smiled down at the younger man.
"Never have had a better one, Sev. I've had a really great time today. Thank you for everything." Harry's eyes glowed as he looked up into the face of the man he loved.
"I haven't given you your present yet. I was going to wait, but…" Severus appeared nervous as he pulled a small package from a pocket in his robe.
Harry gently kissed the hesitant face of his lover as he took the box from Severus' outstretched hand. He opened it then looked up in surprise. "Severus, does this mean…"
"Harry, the past months that we have been together have been the happiest of my life. Would you please honor me and consent to becoming my husband?"
"Oh, yes, Severus. I love you so much. This time has meant the world to me as well. Yes, I'll marry you." Laughing with joy, Harry flung himself into the arms of the other man, who caught him, swinging him around and fervently kissed him.
The two wizards kept the news of their engagement secret in deference to Severus' position as a spy for the Order of the Phoenix. They were quietly married that fall in the presence of a few close friends. Albus Dumbledore had performed the ceremony. Harry asked Ron and Hermione to stand as his witnesses, while Minerva McGonagall and Remus Lupin served as Severus'. The wedding had taken place at midnight in the garden of the small cottage Harry and Severus had purchased in the countryside near Hogsmeade.
For the first year of their marriage, Harry was happier than he ever been in his young life. He had finished his Auror training in record time and had gone to work for the Ministry of Magic in London. However, on his first wedding anniversary, his world came crashing down around his ears.
As he neared the end of the photo album, Harry could no longer contain his tears. Curling up on the couch, he quietly cried until exhaustion pulled him under and he slept.
July 31, 2001—Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Severus Snape apparated near Hogwarts and wearily made his way towards the castle. As he neared the entrance, the front doors flew open and Hagrid stepped out.
"Gracious, Severus, ye look a right mess. Do ye be needin' to see Poppy?" The half-giant groundskeeper looked on in concern as Snape slowly walked up the front steps.
"No thank you, Rubeus. I will attend to my injuries myself. They're not as serious as they appear. Do you know where Albus is? I have some information he might find useful."
"Last I saw, he was in Minerva's office." Hagrid looked at the Potions Master hopefully, "Ye say ye have information—is it about 'arry? Ye know, today's 'is birth…" His voice died out as he caught sight of the menacing glare the other man was sending his way.
"I'm fully aware of what today is, Hagrid, you don't have to remind me. The information I have does not pertain to my missing husband, so if you will please excuse me?" Severus walked stiffly through the open doors and made his way to his rooms deep in the Slytherin dungeons.
After entering his chambers, he crossed the sitting room and opened the door to his bedroom. Severus began removing his robes as he walked towards the bed. He looked longingly at the soft pillows propped up against the headboard, but decided he needed to heal himself and take a shower before he could rest.
Snape grimaced at the sight of his ruined white linen shirt, torn and streaked with dried blood. Standing in front of the mirror, he realized, "Damn, this is going to stick to the wound." Removing his other clothing, he stepped over to the shower and adjusted the water to a temperature he could tolerate.
Severus moved under the water, feeling the tension in his body leave as the warmth invaded his muscles. He unbuttoned his shirt and slowly peeled it away from the knife wound, then tossed it into the sink to be discarded later. As he relaxed in the pulsing water, his thoughts wandered to his missing lover and the last birthday they had celebrated together.
On the morning of Harry's nineteenth birthday, they had eaten breakfast together, then Harry prepared to go to work. He came back into the kitchen, grabbed an apple and kissed Severus on top of the head. "See you tonight, Sev. Remember, we're supposed to go to the Burrow this evening for dinner."
"I have a few errands to run today, but I should be back in plenty of time." Severus laughed up at the younger man. "You had better get going, or you'll be late—again."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm going. Love you." With a wave, Harry hurried outside, where he apparated to the Ministry.
Severus cleaned up the breakfast dishes, then made his way into the glass-enclosed porch where their owls were currently roosting. "Good morning, ladies. Time for you two to be off." He opened the window, then spoke to Hedwig, who blinked sleepily up at him. "You're to go to the Burrow, Hedwig. Remember, don't return here for three days." The snowy owl gave a soft hoot, then spread her wings and took off out the window.
"Circe, I have a note for you to deliver to Kingsley Shacklebolt, then I want you to go to Hogwarts and find Hagrid. Stay there until I come for you." Snape attached a note to the outstretched leg, then watched his small black owl as she flew away.
Snape continued to watch the owl until she was no more than a speck in the sky, then he turned and went back into the cottage. Entering their bedroom, he went to the wardrobe and pulled out a pair of jeans and a black silk shirt. After changing, he retrieved the luggage from the bottom of the wardrobe where he had hidden it the previous evening, shrank it and stowed it away in his pocket. He left the cottage, making sure that the wards were set properly and apparated away.
Harry had spent a busy morning at the office. He was neck deep in paperwork, which he hated. Scowling down at the folder in front of him, he didn't hear the door to his office open. He jumped in surprise when arms snaked around his waist. Looking up, he was astonished to see his husband smirking down at him.
"Really, Harry. That poor piece of paper hasn't done anything to deserve the look you were giving it."
"Sev, is everything okay? I didn't expect to see you until tonight."
"Hmm, can't a man show up to take his husband out to lunch without something being wrong? Now, hurry up. I've made reservations, and I don't want to be late."
"Where are you taking me?" Harry asked excitedly as he cleared his desk and picked up his outer robe. "And why are you dressed in muggle clothes?"
"Ah, patience, young one. You need to change into these." Severus handed Harry the muggle clothes he had brought from the cottage. "Hurry up. I made arrangements for a portkey, so we need to get moving."
Harry hurried out of his office and found a nearby bathroom, where he quickly changed. He was surprised by his mate's actions. Severus was not normally open with his affections, so today's appearance was a bit out of character.
Harry looked in the mirror as he gathered his things and smiled. He husband had brought a dark green silk tee shirt and black leather pants for him to wear. The shirt brought out the sparkle in his eyes while the skintight pants showed off his other 'assets'. He quickly left the bathroom, anxious to see Severus' reaction to his appearance. He wasn't disappointed.
"Gods, Harry, I'm not sure I'm going to let you out in public looking like that. You look like a walking advertisement for sex!" Severus' eyes darkened to an intense black as he eyed his young spouse. "I think I should take you home and never let you out of the bedroom again."
Harry smirked at the Potions Master as he evaded the hands that were reaching for him. "Uh uh, Sev. You promised me food, now pay up before I die of hunger."
"Here, then, let's go." Severus pulled what looked like an old lady's glove from his pocket. "Take hold of this, then I'll activate the portkey." As Harry drew nearer and touched the glove, Severus wrapped his free arm around the lithe body of his lover and touched his wand to the glove. Harry felt the familiar pull in his stomach as his office suddenly disappeared.
Severus looked on in amusement as Harry stumbled when they reappeared at their destination. "Really, Harry, one would think you would be more coordinated, considering your Quidditch playing and your Auror training."
Harry stuck his tongue out at his spouse, saying, "Quiet, you git. Those stupid portkeys always make me dizzy—it has nothing to do with my coordination. Now, where the hell are we?" He looked around in amazement at the scenery around them.
"Hmm, I thought you would enjoy a few days away from everything. This is my cousin's cabin; he's letting us use it for the next three days. Your boss and the Weasleys have been notified that we're to be left alone and they're expecting us back then. Happy Birthday, love." Severus gently took Harry's arm and drew him up close to his body. "I'm looking forward to your undivided attention—no work, no friends, no interruptions whatsoever."
"Whatever shall we do for three whole days?" Harry gave the other man an evil grin, then broke away and began rapidly striding up the path towards the cabin. He turned around and continued to walk backwards as he called out, "Come on, lover. Get your skinny arse in here!" Laughing at the look on Severus' face, he whirled and ran into the cabin.
Severus laughed as he chased after Harry, finally catching him in the doorway of the bedroom. He scooped the younger man up in his arms, dropping him on the bed and began to tickle him.
"Take that back, you little beast. I do not have a skinny ass."
Harry was laughing so hard he could barely get out, "You're right, it's not skinny, it's scrawny!"
Severus pinned the smaller man down on the bed with the full weight of his body, holding Harry's wrists above his head with one hand. He slowly ran his hand down the side of the writhing body below him, growling softly, "I'm sure I can convince you otherwise."
Harry felt he was slowly losing his mind as Severus licked and nipped his way down Harry's supple neck. He arched upwards into the hard body above him when Severus bit down on his nipple, panting, "Goddess, Sev… that feels sooo… don't stop…"
"So tell me, love, what you think of my ass now?" Severus smirked down into the passion-filled face of his spouse as he tweaked his abused nipple.
"Umm, I don't… maybe it's not… so scrawny after all." As Severus reached down and released Harry's straining erection from his jeans he gasped, "On second thought, it's probably… no, definitely… perfect. FUCK"
"Your wish is my command, my impatient little snakeling." The two men began the dance of love they had come to know so well, each reveling in the sensations the other extracted from them. Gasping out their completion, the two lovers collapsed together, wrapped securely in the other's arms.
The pair spent the following days relaxing. Harry had convinced Severus to swim with him in the pond and they whiled away the afternoons lounging on the small beach near the cabin. In the evenings, they curled up in front of the fireplace, whispering plans for their future together.
They had reluctantly returned to their regular lives at the end of their idyllic stay, unaware that in only three months, they would be viciously torn apart, their lives together destroyed.
As the water turned cold, Severus' thoughts returned to the present. He turned off the water, dried himself off and applied a healing salve to his wound. He quickly dressed in his usual black robes, knowing he needed to speak with the Headmaster as soon as possible. Leaving his rooms, he resolved to put thoughts of Harry aside for now, realizing there were more immediate problems that needed solving.
July 31, 2001—Oceanside, Georgia, United States
Harry woke up with a start. Sitting up, he slid his glasses back up his nose and frantically looked at the clock. He relaxed a bit when he realized he had only been asleep for an hour or so—Dria hadn't woke up yet and they hadn't missed the party after all.
He slowly picked up the photo album from where it had fallen on the floor and ran his fingers gently over the front. So many memories were contained within the covers—both good and bad. He was finally beginning to let go of his pain—he knew it was time to move on with his life. As he placed the album back into the side table drawer, a glint of silver caught his eye.
Harry leaned back on the couch, undecided for a few moments, before he resolutely removed his wedding ring. He laid the ring on his knee as he reached up and unclasped a chain from around his neck.
Furiously blinking away the tears that threatened to spill again, he gazed down at the pendant in his hands. The platinum snake pendant had been the last present Severus had given him—on his nineteenth birthday. Harry smiled sadly as he remembered Severus comparing the emerald stones in the snake's eyes to Harry's own eyes, saying that the precious gems could only attempt to be as bright as the sparkles contained in the green orbs of his spouse.
Harry realized that while he was ready to stop wearing his wedding ring on his hand, he wasn't completely ready to put away the reminders of his husband. The emerald snake eyes glittered up at him as he slid his wedding ring onto the chain. Quickly reaching up before he could change his mind, he replaced the necklace around his throat.
He would get through this, one step at a time.
Even if they were only baby steps.