Solitary Man – sn fic – Chpt 1.
By sifi
Disclaimer: Course I don't own 'em… that would be illegal… technically speaking, not to mention immoral...
Love: You do the math…
--
Sam looked across the room and watched his brother wrap himself around the woman sleeping contentedly in his arms and pressed "End" on the phone as he strove to work the color back up from the pit of his belly and into his face.
His fingers fumbled with the covers as he tossed them off, took one step that brought him halfway to the table, grasped the laptop, and brought his leg back into bed with the rest of him.
He smiled shaking his head as he looked at them again. Dean certainly needed the rest after what they finished only three days ago, and he certainly deserved it, but he found himself surprised that Laura wasn't more easily awoken.
This can't be… hasn't he been through enough! How? How…is it possible?… he wondered feeling a squeeze in his heart as the information Shep had just relayed to him slapped a piton into one of the convolutions of his brain and stuck there, almost like one of those damned chunks of crystal had done in his back. I wonder if she'll help me… I'm sure she will if I tell them both I need a little R&R after that last gig and want to head to New York to see Sarah… yeah… but damn, Dean's good…he might know I'm lying, he might be too preoccupied to know it though if she decides to hang around a little longer, which she might do if I'm not around… Don't forget Sammy boy… her allegiance is to him, her heart belongs to him, if he thinks you're lying she will help him and you don't want to try and evade them both… Well, it wouldn't be a complete lie, I could drop in on Sarah, say hello, passing through town, go to dinner…kiss the girl…oh sweet kisses, but no, not this time. Seeing Sarah will have to wait for another time. Gotta get my butt to Missouri and see it for myself…Yet you still want to use her as an alibi for your lie… I don't have to involve her…Dean'll kill me if I screw this up and he finds out… heh, he might have to resurrect me to do it though… he heard the back of his mind, called the conscience, funny, it had Dean's voice most of the time, it yelled at him and he could've sworn he almost felt it smack him. Man you are really a piece of work! He shook his head and stuck a wad of duct tape over the voice.
--
"Call if you need anything, we'll meet you there in a week?" Dean confirmed shaking his brothers' hand.
"We?" Sam asked and looked smiling at Laura.
"He means he…" she grinned and reached up, hugging Sam hard and kissing his cheek, "Thanks for calling…" she whispered into his ear.
"Thanks for coming," he said softly back and let her go. He watched her step back into the protective half circle of his brothers' arm and realized she fit there.
"See you in a week," he waved just before he headed down the jetway.
That was a helluva lot easier than I thought it would be. I hope to God Shep e-mailed me those files, I'm gonna need to know what I have to buy to get this taken care of. And if I fail… he's in the best hands possible… what more could I ask for?
--
"What?" Laura asked curiously as they walked through the airport back to the parking lot.
"It's funny, I was thinking about sending him to New York for a few days… a few days before you got here… I'm glad he's going though, he deserves the break," he smiled gently while opening the car door for her.
"Yeah maybe get his mind off hunting for a while… considering what you were telling me about that last gig and what that bastard did to the both of you… he needs to heal too," she nodded sliding partially into her own thoughts as he pulled out onto the main road and angled Metallicar back toward the motel.
"You don't want to come with me? We could caravan…" he asked making sure he didn't have to look into her eyes if she was going to answer in a way he didn't want to hear.
She shrugged, "I'll ride with you as long as I can… I can go get the car anytime, I just never know where or when I'm going to wind up getting 'assigned' y'know?"
Dean chuckled and looked at her, he'd momentarily forgotten he was talking to another graduated hunter, this one bound to an Ancient Pagan deity to do his bidding until he released her from servitude. His eyes fell on the golden torque that circled her neck and he nodded, "Yeah, that whole 'where to next' yeah I get it… so breakfast or the road till lunch?"
"Breakfast… then desert," she smiled wryly.
"Done deal," he grinned pushing his baby's accelerator down just a little more.
--
"Sir I don't understand, you just purchased this ticket," the agent questioned looking hard at the slip of paper in her hand and wondering if she'd made a mistake.
Sam nodded, "I know… I just got a call though and have to rearrange things," he smiled wanly and judging by the sympathetic look he got from her she read his expression as 'something tragic' which in effect it was.
"Certainly sir," she smiled softly, "the next flight to St. Louis International Airport leaves in forty-five minutes… and there are still seats open…"
"Great! Thanks," he smiled tightly and nodded while robotically going through the rest of the motions to ensure he was on that plane. He even managed to arrange a rental car on the other end before they called his seat grouping.
--
The wait for the flight seemed interminably longer than the flight itself and Sam could barely focus on any one thing, his mind kept running in circles, If Dean finds out about this he's gonna kill me… how did it happen? Maybe… no, I wonder how long it'll take till he finds out I took the battery out of his cell? God he's soooo gonna kill me…he has to understand… I know he's still hurting but he's healing… it's time I stepped up to the plate and watched his back… besides, on a positive note, it's probably nothing! Then I really can catch a flight to New York and drop in on Sarah! Dean and maybe Laura will meet us there and we'll go on a couple double dates, get our own rooms with our girls… huh, our girls? mmmm… yeah, unfortunately I know this Something… he sighed and smiled wistfully while he waited for the arrival of his rental car.
--
"Nice to see you again Mr. Rodgers," the clerk smiled and Sam suddenly had the urge to break out a beige cardigan. He nodded smiling.
"Single or double?" she asked.
"Single," he winced, the sound of the word so wrong.
He stepped into the room stunned by the sight of a single bed. A ghost-like image of Dean heading to the bathroom first, like he always did when they got into a new place, strolled through his visual path, Huh, kinda like marking his territory…Sam thought to himself and smiled then opened the large canister of salt he'd just bought. He tossed the bag onto the bed and fortified the room I wonder if I'll ever be able to stay anywhere without salting the doors and windows, he couldn't remember ever being in a place where he didn't salt something. Even the window and door sashes at Stanford had borne regular saltings, unbeknownst to Jess of course.
Once the room was fortified he unrolled his suit and changed clothes then sat down at the table with the computer looking for directions to the morgue.
--
Laura slid off of Dean and pressed her mouth to his whimpering, "Talk about timing… son of a bitch!" she cursed.
"Short…cake…hmmm desert jokes…" he sighed watching her dress in the afternoon light, "I wish you could stay a little longer," he smiled.
"So do I Dean believe me," she grinned.
"Any idea where you're off to?" he asked.
"Nah, I won't know which direction to go until I hit the road…"
"What's it feel like?" he asked.
She smiled, closed her eyes and turned her beaming face upward, "It's like following the sun with your face… without the sunburn,"
I could see you with a little sunburn on your nose, betcha you'd look really cute. He thought and cocked half a smile at her.
"Whatever you're thinking… you just keep on thinking it… I want to take a mental picture of that expression…" she grinned sitting on the bed and drawing her gymshoes on.
Standing in the doorway barefoot in his jeans he raised his hand as she approached the main road. He saw her shadow wave as she hesitated a moment then made an easy left turn and disappeared around a bend.
Well okay that sucks out loud…it's gonna be a long drive to New York. He checked his watch and shrugged. Sam should be touching down in another couple hours, wonder if he'll remember to call tonight or if it'll hit him in the morning. He smiled a little sadly and leaped into his bed with the remote in hand.
About eleven o'clock, after gorging himself on one of the largest grilled chicken spinach salads he'd ever eaten, and downing half a six pack he reached over and out of habit grabbed his cell, flipping it open and doing a quick double take when the menu didn't come up. Huh… I thought I charged it yesterday, he thought and plugged it in. His brows furrowed when the telltale beep never came and the light didn't flash. Huh…he heard his mind grunt and felt something start to happen deep inside, something that was salad and beer related.
He flipped the phone over, opened the battery compartment and breathed out hard knowing there had to be some kind of an explanation. Maybe the plate fell off and it fell out and Sammy or Laura put it back on without noticing the battery was gone, it's probably on the floor by the nightstand…
An hour later, after thoroughly tearing the room apart and searching his beloved Metallicar just as thoroughly, sliding his hands between her seats, checking under the floor mats, the glove box, the ash tray for the tiny device he grunted and paced the room, horribly sober and trying to quell that awakening sensation of 'something not quite right'. Okay… I'll buy a new one in the morning it's not like they don't sell 'em pretty much everywere.
In the meantime he picked up the room phone and dialed Sarah the old fashioned way, needing to hear his brothers' voice in a way that almost physically hurt him. If you're in the middle of something guys I'm sorry, really, but… something isn't right here, he finally caved to the feeling.
--
"…thanks… I will… you too," he acknowledged distractedly, his bag already half packed as he hung up and hitched a breath.
He abandoned you… he left your sorry ass Dean… probably couldn't take the whining anymore…No! Sam wouldn't do that, not after everything we've been through, not after this past year… he came back in Burkittsville, he said it was him and me… together. He wouldn't just pick up and leave… maybe the plane got re-routed for some reason…he clutched at the ray of hope and sat with the phone once more.
Another half hour wasted…he cursed himself. The flight had landed safely almost three hours ago and no one by the name Sam Freeman was listed for that particular flight.
What the hell! What's going on! he demanded inside, shouting above that tiny voice in the back of his brain that kept laughing and clutching its belly, insisting that Sam had run away, that he'd abandoned him. I don't believe that! he shouted back and kicked that little bastard across his brain, If he wanted out all he had to do was say the word, there's something more going on and so help me God I'm gonna find out what it is, and Sammy, little bro, so help me man if you don't have a freakin' SHINEY explanation I'm gonna bitch smack you so hard your grandkids are gonna feel it! he promised grabbing his belongings and tossing them into the car. The least he could do was erase a few miles between Oklahoma and New York while he waited for a store to open so he could buy a new battery.
--
tbc?
What cha think?
P's Q's
sifi