Chapter Seven
Staring at the setting sun
No reason to come back again
The twilight world
In blue and white
The needle and the damage done
I don't want to feel this way forever
Understanding In A Car Crash (Thursday, Full Collapse)
Two years later, roughly a week before (what Anakin hoped was) Obi-Wan's thirteenth birthday, the Master-Padawan pair were given their first mission. Anakin felt a cool calm seep through his veins at the prospect of finally, after so long, escaping the stares – those never tiring stares, who couldn't seem to wear their welcome any thinner – and travel to some far away planet, where he'd finally be in his true element again: far, far away from the bookish world of supposed calm, within the Temple's smothering walls, and off for flight and battle. He could feel nervousness and excitement flowing across his and Obi-Wan's bond, but his Padawan's face was a mask of pure calmness.
"Thank you, Masters." The elder of the two bowed, not bothering to hide his relief with the assignment. He'd always been one to wear his emotions on his sleeve. It was a trait Qui-Gon had both adored and detested.
Obi-Wan stared out the window of the ship. He looked back over his shoulder at Anakin, as the planet they would be landing on came into view.
"What was your first mission with Master Jinn like?" He asked.
"Disastrous," Anakin openly admitted, grinning loosely. "Have you ever been captured as a prisoner of war, sent to a medical lab, and then been drugged and brainwashed, Padawan?"
Obi-Wan's eyes widened, and he quickly shook his head.
"No, Master, I cannot say I've had that…privilege," he replied.
"It's quite enjoyable, actually, until the drugs wear off," the blonde confessed, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "Being completely void of emotions was slightly…euphoric. Really irritating, once they're back though. Course…that unpleasantness might have been due, at least in part, to the gundarks and STAPs that were trying to kill us…"
"That sounds like…so much fun, Master…I'm sorry I asked."
Chuckling slightly, Anakin waved it off.
"That one was nothing," he admitted, eyebrows knitting together slightly. "There was that one, with the toxic gas…and the one with the bounty hungers…and the crime lords… That one where we got on the bad side of a whole crime family… The one where Siri had to wear that dress…that was kind of fun…until they started shooting each other…"
"Okay…okay! You can stop now! I get the idea…and if I don't, I definitely have something to look forward to," Obi-Wan murmured, waving his hands to make him stop.
Snickering without bar now, Anakin shook his head in amusement. Sometimes, he wondered if the slaughter hadn't been worth it, just to see tight ass Siri Tachi in that slutty dress of Valadon's. On those occasions, he'd quickly scold himself shortly thereafter.
"Such is the life of a Jedi," he whistled innocently. Qui-Gon had teased him about having to don fruity clothes of the gang leader, Slam, for weeks, after that mission. He still had nightmares about bright red boots and plush purple cloaks.
After the mission, on their way back to the Temple
Obi-Wan sat in the co-pilot's chair, his hand placed over his mouth in a contemplative gesture. He was slouched and almost looked asleep, if only his eyes hadn't been open, and staring sightlessly out the glass into space.
He had hoped that Anakin's stories had been just that. Stories. Sure, somewhere in his mind, he knew they were true, but he didn't want to believe that. Now, from experience, he knew. He'd learned something about his Master, on this mission. Anakin Skywalker was, out of all his magnificent talents, not a negotiator in the least. The angry look on the natives' faces was permanently burned into his retinas, Obi-Wan decided with a silent sigh.
"That…could have gone better…" Anakin declared finally, wincing slightly from his own seat at the controls.
Obi-Wan's eyes flickered over to him for a moment, and then back to the blackness of space.
"I think you should let me do the talking from now on, Master… Hopefully, our next mission won't end so badly, if we do it that way."
Snorting wryly, Anakin quirked an eyebrow, and shrugged. "You're the future diplomat," he murmured lightly.
Obi-Wan gave him a brief smile
"What will the Council say, Master?" He asked.
"Oh, I'll probably get chewed out for fucking up…again…" A light flush tinted the Knight's cheeks, as he considering being the butt of Mace Windu's lecture for yet another time.
"Something you're used to, Master?" Obi-Wan questioned, a slight chuckle in his voice. He brought his knees up to his chest, and crossed his arms in front of them, as he turned his chair to face Anakin.
"Fairly." The blonde shrugged. "Qui-Gon taught me some rather…unorthodox methods of completing missions that most of the Council don't…appreciate, I suppose you could say. One thing leads to another."
Obi-Wan laughed softly and tilted his head, so that it was supported by one of his arms. They settled back into a comfortable, but still awkward, silence, but Anakin knew Obi-Wan was watching him. In a desperate attempt to break the awkward silence settling between them, Anakin pulled a topic right out of the air, (though some might argue that he pulled it out of his ass.)
"So…when's your birthday?" He wondered after a moment.
Obi-Wan blinked in confusion at the random question he had just been asked, and then thought it through.
"Oh…it was two days ago."
Blanching slightly, Anakin offered him an odd little look.
"Oh…" He mumbled, fishing uncomfortably in his pockets for some sort of present. He'd received a similar encounter with Qui-Gon, on his own thirteenth birthday. He didn't want to put his Padawan in such a position; but after a moment, all he could retrieve from his tunic was the very same rock that his Master had once given to him. Contemplating the river stone for a moment, Anakin decided that this was what Qui-Gon would have wanted, and held the smooth thing out to Obi-Wan mutely.
The child stared at the rock for a moment, then reached out and took it. He turned it over and studied the texture and swirls of color. It was a very pretty rock, but he held it back out to Anakin.
"That's a very nice rock, Master. Isn't it the same one you were talking about, that one morning, that Master Jinn gave to you?"
"Yes," the blonde replied crisply. "It's Force sensitive. It's yours now."
"Mine, Master? No…I couldn't. Master Jinn gave it to you, and I know how much that means to you," Obi-Wan replied, shaking his head.
"You can," Anakin corrected darkly. "You will. I am your Master, and you will take the damn rock."
Obi-Wan pulled his hand and the rock back, and smiled down at it. Sure, every Padawan was supposed to get something amazing for their birthday, and now he and Anakin had both gotten rocks; the very same rock, in fact. But, it was enough, because it meant something special to his Master.
"Thank you, Master I will take very good care of it."
"You'd better," the Knight grumbled, somewhere between loathing and amusement. "I'll have your head, if you lose it." This part, he wasn't entirely serious about.
Obi-Wan nodded and placed the rock in his pocket. He didn't know if Anakin would actually go through with his threat, but he wasn't about to see if he would.
Anakin was silent for the rest of the trip, and the short journey to the Council's chambers. He wasn't looking forward to what Mace Windu had to say about his less than exemplary performance in foreign dialects…
After their meeting with the Council, back at their apartment
Obi-Wan sighed as he fell into his bed. Finally, they would be able to get some restful nights' sleep. Of course, now that his mind was going still, with nothing around him, previous events started to surface once again. Memories of this first failed mission came quickly, with sleep. He tossed and turned, as the night wore on, his dreams never granting him a reprieve. Some of the things he saw, especially the final one, had never happened…but it definitely felt like it had.
Obi-Wan took a step back, shaking his head.
"You can't mean that, Master…" He murmured. Anakin merely glared at him, coldly.
"I renounce you as my Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi. It was a mistake for me to ever agree to teach you in the first place. You are worthless, and have no talent or hope of being a Jedi. You are a waste of my time. You will never be half the Jedi my Master or I was. Now, get out of my sight," Anakin told him, turning away.
Obi-Wan sat up gasping, his eyes wide and his hands gripping the sheets of his bed in tight fists. No…Anakin would not leave him…he wasn't worthless…was he? Anakin would not…was he even still there, in their quarters, now?
Obi-Wan threw his covers back and quickly, but quietly, he went to Anakin's door. The door slid silently open, and he came across the floor, to the bed. He had to blink, before his eyes adjusted to the darkness, and he could see Anakin's form lying there. He raised shaking fingers up to touch Anakin, to see if he was actually real, but then he pulled away. What if his mind was just playing games with him, and the dream had been a memory? A slight whimper escaped his lips, and the slight sound met Anakin's Force-sensitive ears, causing the blonde Knight to sit up quickly. Immediately on guard, his eyes graced through the darkness, one hand retreating under his pillow to retrieve his light saber. As the blade ignited from the hilt, casting a pale blue glow through the room, the man's eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
"What the…?" He mumbled groggily, his mind still fogged from sleep.
Obi-Wan squeaked, and went to take a step back. He tripped over his feet, and landed hard on the floor.
"I…I-I'm sorry, Master…I didn't mean to wake you…" He whispered, tears coming to his eyes again.
The knowledge that his nighttime visitor was not, in fact, a threat worked its way through Ani's clouded mind at last, and he flipped his saber back off again. What the fuck was Obi-Wan doing in his bedroom at such an unholy hour as this?
"What do you need?" He wondered finally, rubbing the heel of one hand across his eyes, in a valiant attempt to make them focus. Small white dots danced across his vision, resulting from the pressure.
"I-I was just making sure you were still here…I dreamt that you renounced me as your Padawan. I know that we didn't work well together, on this mission, Master, but I will get better! I will train really hard, night and day, if I must! Just, please don't leave me…" He replied, his voice getting higher with growing hysteria the longer he went on.
The confusion in Anakin's eyes deepened, as he raised the blue spheres back to lock on Obi-Wan's shaded form.
"Leave you?" He echoed, raising an eyebrow. "Why would I…? You're the last thing he gave to me… the last piece of my Master that I have left… why would I leave you?" Tact was overrated, the Knight decided grumpily, as was the notion of hypocrisy. If not, he was certainly the biggest hypocrite in the galaxy…
Obi-Wan let out a stifled cry, and scrambled to his feet, throwing his arms around Anakin's neck as his tears fell.
"I'm sorry he made you promise! That you didn't get a true chance to be a Knight! But, I will do all I can to make it up to you. I swear I will!"
Silently, Anakin buried his face into the boy's neck, for a moment, before shifting on the mattress, and pulling his Padawan into the bed with him, at the same time.
"Alright, kid," he murmured tiredly. "Qui-Gon used to do this for me, when I had a nightmare." This, apparently, was supposed to translate to something to the effect of 'go to sleep, I'll still be here in the morning.'
Obi-Wan tucked his head under Anakin's chin, and held tighter, but not uncomfortably for Anakin. He could hear Anakin's heart, and let out a sigh, letting the silent and steady beat lull him to sleep.
The next morning, when the child woke again, Ani was, indeed, still there. He was sitting up now, the sheets pooling around his waist, hiding where the waistband to his sleep pants was, revealing only his bare chest. He was watching Obi-Wan with interest, and when he noticed the boy's eyes open, he quirked an eyebrow curiously.
"Now, would you like to explain what last night was about, kiddo?" He invited, mildly.
Obi-Wan buried his face into the pillow, so that what he said next came out very muffled.
"Do I have to?"
"You don't have to," the blonde admitted, both eyebrows shooting up now. "But, unless you think you want some sort of therapy with Yoda, I'd recommend it."
Obi-Wan quickly shook his head, and took a shaky breath as he sat up. His hands fisted around the sheets, and he stared down at them.
"Like I said last night…I had a dream that you renounced me as your Padawan. Y-you told me that I was worthless, a waste of your time, and that I would never be half the Jedi you or Master Jinn were. Then, you turned your back on me…" He finished quietly, still not looking at Anakin. The Knight licked his lips mutely for a moment, unsure of what to say.
"Obi-Wan…" He murmured finally. "I can honestly tell you, I could never do that in good conscious."
"I'm glad to know that, Master…because it made me feel like bantha fodder," the boy told him, and raised his head up to give him a small smile.
"Don't worry, Padawan," he murmured. "You've done far too much for me to abandon you now."
Obi-Wan gave him a true smile now, and nodded. He got out of the bed, and went to the door, pausing only to look back.
"It's too late to train, without many people being there, Master. The same goes for the dining hall, and I'm sure you're probably hungry. I can…try to cook something…I have been watching the cooks for a while, at least I was before we went on our mission." Obi-Wan offered slowly.
An odd little shadow of doubt played across Anakin's face, but after a moment of hesitation, he nodded slightly.
"Just…try not to burn the place down," he mumbled the advice, drawing a laugh from his protégé. "Again."
"I will do my best, Master." With that, he left to change and head into the kitchen. He cooked them a simple meal, but it was much better than the last time. In fact, it could have almost been considered better than the mess hall's… No, it was better. It had a bit more flavor, and he hadn't almost burned down the kitchen, this time.
"It's…good…" Anakin stared down at his plate in mild alarm. He was officially impressed now.
"Really? Alright!" Obi-Wan cheered with a grin, and then he also tried the food. He smiled in agreement. They ate in silence, after that, and then spoke of the mission for a bit. They went over things they could have done to be better, and should do to perhaps make the next one successful. Soon enough, it was time for Obi-Wan to go to class.
"I will see you later, Master!" He waved slightly, and picked up his bag to head out the door.
Anakin followed him to the door, and watched him leave, smiling faintly. What would he do without that boy?
One year later
Anakin's hands were hot as they trailed expertly down his skin. Obi-Wan found himself writhing and wriggling with pleasure, little mewl's escaping his throat. Anakin's hands were wonderful... but his mouth... Force... Obi-Wan bit his lip to keep from flat out moaning.
"Ma-master…" He stammered. Anakin came up and gave him a bruising kiss.
"Is this what you want?" Anakin questioned. Obi-Wan could only nod. Yes he wanted this, more than anything he wanted this. Anakin smiled at him and the disappeared from his direct line of vision. Obi-Wan gasped as Anakin deep throated him.
"Master!" Obi-Wan gasped as he sat up and tried to catch his breath. He immediately felt his face warm with a deep blush as he realized what the dream had been. Looking down he saw he hadn't created a mess yet but was damn near close to it. He took a deep breath and tried to will his erection away... it didn't work. Sighing Obi-Wan got out of bed and quietly as he could went to the 'fresher. He turned on the shower cold and stripped down. He sucked in a breath as the icy water hit his skin. He imagined those images from his dream being the beads of water that were rolling off his skin. That didn't work either.
'Of all the times for the Force to deny helping me!' He cursed. As much as he hated it, this was starting to become painful.
A few minutes later he stepped from the shower, satisfied but also feeling a bit disgusted with himself. He was not supposed to have dreams about Anakin! And definitely not that kind! Pulling his sleep clothes on after drying he stepped out of the 'fresher and looked back towards his room. Obi-Wan shook his head and went to the common room turning on the holonet, he turned the volume down so he would not wake Anakin and then settled into a corner of the couch curled into a ball.
The Next Morning
When Anakin came from his room the next morning he was puzzled when he didn't see Obi-Wan still in his bed, it was rather early. His Padawan should have still been deeply asleep. He could feel him though, through their bond and he wasn't far.
Continuing to the common room he had to smile at the picture his Padawan made, all curled up and sleeping soundly on the couch. The fleeting question of why his Padawan was sleeping on the couch crossed his mind but he didn't think much of it as he crept over.
Anakin leaned down next to Obi-Wan's ear, a smirk gracing his lips.
"You're going to be late Padawan," he whispered. Obi-Wan shifted but then his eyes flew open as the voice registered in his mind and he sat up quickly not realizing Anakin was still there.
"Sith!" He cursed as they knocked heads. Straightening back up, rubbing his forehead Anakin vowed then and there never to joke with Obi-Wan like that again. "I'm sorry Master! Reallyreallysorry!" Obi-Wan exclaimed quickly as he got up and hurried to his room to get ready, Anakin didn't miss the blush that decorated his face.
Obi-Wan quickly gathered his things and ran out of the apartment so he wouldn't be late to his class, but also to get away from Anakin without speaking to him.
That afternoon, he returned feeling around the apartment cautiously hoping Anakin would either be out or locked up in his room, as he sometimes still did. He didn't feel Anakin and let out a breath of relief. Smiling slightly he started for his room to do his homework and then… whatever… anything that would keep him away from Anakin.
"Welcome home Padawan." Obi-Wan jumped at the voice and turned quickly, a blush rising before he could stop it as he saw Anakin standing in the kitchen leaning against the counter.
"M-Master…" He greeted, his eyes catching Anakin's for a moment before he looked away. Anakin 'hmmed' as he sipped at his coffee.
"You haven't been this jumpy around me since I first took you as my Padawan. Care to explain this sudden slip in your personality?" Anakin questioned.
"No Master, I do not," Obi-Wan replied. Well that really got his curiosity going.
"I think you should." Obi-Wan swallowed… why did this have to happen to him?
"I had a dream last night Master," he told him finally. Anakin's eyes raised to meet his. Obi-Wan had had a dream and hadn't come to him? Obi-Wan always came to him with his dreams, what made this one so special?
"You had… a dream? What happened in it? Why did you not come to me?" Anakin questioned. A small smile graced Obi-Wan's lips.
"It was not like my normal dreams Master. It wasn't scary at all, it was quite good actually," Obi-Wan explained.
Anakin gave him a confused look, Obi-Wan very rarely had good dreams, much like himself. Why had this one been so different?