Solitary Man chpt 5
by: sifi
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"So why now?" Sam asked, "Why is the underworld so hot after Dean all of a sudden?"
John shook his head, "I don't know for sure but again, it goes back to this last case you guys worked, there was something about it… I think maybe something sensed… I don't know… a vulnerability? Something that could be used to take him down, to get him out of the way…"
"You mean so it could come after me?" Sam asked feeling his guts clench with apprehension.
"I mean so it could go after anyone it wants without having to worry about any of us on its back… be it you, Billyjoejimbob, or Suite Judy Blue Eyes…. your brothers' nature…." he stopped short and met Sam's eyes, "… Dean was about eight, you were four-ish… you guys were tossing a ball around on the sidewalk in front of the motel. There was another family staying there, one with a son about your age… I don't know where the parents were but the boy came outside and I guess he wanted to play too… he started across the parking lot…I was inside and I heard your brother tell you to freeze… by the time I got to the window it was… man it was like one of those T.V. moments… everything in slow motion and too fast to stop… I saw Dean run… then all I saw was car. I waited for it, wasn't even sure if I missed the 'thump'… I hadn't even gotten to the door and the car was speeding away, the driver laying on the horn, and on the other side of the lot… God only knows how the driver missed him… was Dean with this little kid hanging off his neck like a monkey…"
Sam leaned back and breathed a sigh of relief, as if he'd just seen the instance with his own eyes. He tilted the bottle to his lips, and saw it happen over again in his minds' eye. There was no doubt in his mind, Dean would run in front of a car to save someone if he could, Dad's right… it IS his nature…
Sam felt something warming in his chest as he looked at his dad, his face a swirl of disbelief and disappointment, "And you had Shep convince me to leave him! To walk away from him knowing that something was out there trying to break him down!" he tried to control his voice but he was close to careening out of control.
"Sam, I thought… I hoped Laura would be able to stay with him, keep him safe while you looked into this… you know he would've been safe with her…"
"Was she in on this too!" Sam yelled in the fierce bass that spoke of the depth of his emotion.
John shook his head quickly and looked into Sam's eyes, his own pleading, "No… she had no idea what I had Shep ask you to do…I had hoped she'd be able to stick around a bit though…"
"What drew her away?" Sam asked, his voice icy needles that shot deep.
John shook his head, "I don't know… she works on a different… level… she's beholden to a deity Sam… I should have told her though… I should have asked her if she could stay with him, if she would stay with him…"
"She would have," Sam nodded then spoke softly, "… but no one person is capable of serving two masters… if she'd been called she would've had to go… that was part of the price she had to pay to break the curse and free her brother…"
John looked intensely at Sam and felt his heart fill with pride. He's so full of promise and empathy…I wish I could take credit for it… he thought pressing his lips together, trying to rein in his emotions.
So much like Dean…Sam thought watching his father's face move through the emotional spectrum, If only he had Dean's faith…the faith that I betrayed… he felt tears sting in the corners of his eyes, Dean I'm so sorry…I never meant to hurt you… I just wanted to protect you…like you've always done for me… I just wanted to carry my own weight (boy you're gonna carry that weight a long time…) he heard from behind some dark recess, huh, great song… he thought in the back of his mind knowing his older brother would approve.
--
In his motel room, stretched out on the uncomfortably small single bed, his toes sticking over the edge Dean moaned, his mind purring, just waiting for him to press down on the accelerator and open himself up to all he kept so tightly locked away.
--
Sam shook his head, his fists clenching hard, itching to grab his dad and slam him up against the wall, or to put his own fist through the wall and hope he broke something just to feel the smallest amount of penance for what he'd done. He nodded his head, his eyes glassy as he bit his lip and pinned his father to the spot with his gaze, "…damn you to hell for putting Shep up to this… damn you both for convincing me to leave him alone, unprotected, unguarded…" the more he thought about it the angrier he got until he rose to his feet slamming his hands down onto the table top, the cast making an obscene amount of noise while pain shot through his palm and up into his elbow, "… and to hell with me for falling for it."
John nodded shame faced and rose to his feet, he slung his jacket on and stuffed his hands down deep into the pockets, "Sam…"
Sam shook his head, "Just leave dad… do what you do best."
John felt another brick in the cornerstone of his world slowly grinding into powder beneath Sam's anger, "Right now your brothers state of mind is the only thing protecting him, his confusion, his anger, his… hurt it all serves to give him focus Sam… that focus is protecting him more than your physical presence can…if you contact him, if you take that focus away from him he'll be vulnerable, open to attack…"
"So what am I supposed to do dad?" Sam stormed, "Leave him alone forever? Never see my brother again? Is that what you want?... hasn't the last year taught you anything? Are you really that… what is it? Stubborn or arrogant dad? Which one? Cause they both fit!" he leaned toward his father, nearly nose to nose, "When are you gonna understand? Get it through that thick head of yours? We are stronger together than we could ever be alone!"
"Find the pattern, find out what the vulnerability is… what made this woman special? Did he know her? Did he have an affair with her? Why would she matter that much to him?" he asked.
Slowly, in the timeline of his mind Sam watched a thick black line begin to connect the dots, many of which his own father didn't know existed.
She mattered so much to him because he couldn't help her, because she endured something he couldn't take away or make better, because she lived her life in a kind of fear he once got a glimpse of, but you don't know that do you? You, the master of pattern finding never saw what was right in front of your face did you? Hey, neither did I Dad, at least on that point we're even… "…nine hundred eighty seven pictures, sixty one different faces…" he heard Dean's voice, small and rhythmic from a dark hole in his mind. The way he must've heard it while they were in their cells, "…twelve burned... no evidence, never happened…"
When Sam opened his eyes again he was on his knees, his face pressed into his palms with John kneeling at his side.
"What is it? What's wrong?" he asked frightened by Sam's near collapse to the floor.
"Pain…" Sam breathed as the present time retreated and he found himself standing under the deep dark of late night summer sky. He was in a yard he didn't recognize and a young Dean was standing at his left, his face stony and empty, his eyes blank hard obsidian in the night. There was the sound of something being sprayed just before a light flared and yellow flame erupted before his eyes, blinding him temporarily. He shook his head blinking hard then looked into the flame. It was a single person grill on top of a picnic table and inside the flame, black smoky edges curled and turned to ash before his eyes. He watched the image of his teenage brother hitch his pack onto his shoulders and reached out to him. His hand touched Dean's shoulder and moved through it as the boy strode from the grill, the yard, and the house out into the night, alone.
John's heart skipped in his chest as Sam shook his head, his eyes far away and his mind in some other place while he backpedaled across the room, a tight grunt escaping from his throat every now and then. He could see his boy was shaking, he was pale and his fear was a palpable thing brought to life in the room with them.
He followed Sam, and when he could go no further, wedged between the bed and the nightstand John reached out to him.
"Nuho! Don't…" Sam's hands flailed batting his away while his head shook, trying to negate whatever it was he was seeing, "…don't touch me!" he shouted gasping and nearly clocking John with his cast.
"Sam!" John barked once he had a good grip on both of his hands. He knew the instant his son returned from wherever he'd been, he saw it in Sam's eyes, heard it in the deepening of his breath and felt it when he slid back against the wall, exhausted.
--
Dean walked into the Sedalia County morgue and shook hands with Dr. Davies.
"Detective Taylor… nice to meet you…" he motioned Dean through the door toward the hall. "Well, Miss Guinardi is certainly getting more than her fair share of visitors… which non-jurisdiction did you say you were from?" he asked.
"Bisbee Arizona… we had case similar to this a few weeks back, though…" he nodded his head knowingly, "…we've been keeping it quiet but we're running out of leads…"
"So… this guy's striking in a lot of different places then?" Dr. Davies asked leading him back to the refrigerator.
"Too many…" Dean nodded.
"Let me see, that makes four places now?"
"Four?" Dean asked.
Dr. Davies nodded his weathered head, "Yep, with the news this morning… we have this one here, yours in Bisbee… just a couple days ago another detective from upstate New York, and then this morning a woman in Chicago was found with post mortem scribing, they're not saying much about it either but either this guy gets around or there's more than one of 'em…"
Dean swallowed hard and rolled up onto the balls of his feet trying to get his blood flowing again, Chicago now too? New York had to be Sammy… at least I'm on the right track I think… "Say Dr. Davies, that detective from New York… about six five, dark hair… kind eyes…"
Dr. Davies nodded, "Yes, Detective Rodgers…. you know him?"
"Yeah…" Dean smiled tightly, "We go way back…he uh… didn't happen to say where he was going after leaving here did he?"
"Nahp," the older man shook his head, "…just had this look, kind of a lost look after I showed him the body… not that you ever really get used to something like this…" he shrugged and rolled the sheet back.
Dean felt his pores open and despite the temperature in the refrigerator, unleash a flood of sweat as he held tight to a tremor that was screaming to rock his whole body.
987 DW… not even subtle… but is it Eddy Jay? cause it can't be Aaron… I watched his spirit consumed… but who, or what else would know that number? Eddy Jay would, he was inside my head… I could've sworn those bullets worked! I saw the lightning just like when dad shot Luther… heh… vampires… and like when Sammy shot dad in the cabin… I saw it…and I saw him go down… so who's idea of a sick joke is this? the Demon? Another one of its kids… son of a bitch…Okay… he said Chicago… Meg… yeah Meg's dead that's for sure…God what if none of them are really dead?
"Detective?" Dr. Davies asked softly.
"Yeah… uh you said Chicago?" he asked and nodded with the Medical Examiner, "Cook County Morgue right?"
"Far as I know," he nodded.
Dean grasped the man's hand and shook it firmly, "Thanks doc…" and strode purposefully out into the parking lot.
I should just hop a plane… I might be able to cut Sam off in Chicago…if I could just get myself onto a plane…he tried to goad himself but it was no use, after their phantom traveler incident Dean was even more determined that humans were not meant to fly, besides, I'm only about nine hours away… seven if don't hit traffic…he cocked a half smile and slid Metallica's Ride The Lightning into the tape deck then cranked up the volume and pulled out onto road.
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tbc…
Please, I know it's a little slow but there are meat and potatoes to come.
Thanks.
sifi