Bonus Episode: A quasi-original episode that follows the next episode chronologically but is not a parody of a CW Supergirl episode.

Non-Canon: An episode scenario that is not authoritative in Adventures of Supergirl. (Did not happen)

(Rated I for Immature)

The Match

Moscow, Russia-Summer 2016

Reporters excitedly gathered into the room with cameras and notepads ready. Kara gave an awkward smile to the Russian press. Next to her at the table were Winn and James.

"Colossus, what made you decide to put on an exhibition match with Supergirl?" a reporter asked in Russian.

"I simply wish to represent my country, the motherland, and all proceeds go to charity to help orphans," Colossus replied. "I also wish to teach my young friend here how we do it in Russia."

"You mean cheat and steal?" Kara asked in Russian surprising the reporters.

The press corp. was immediately in an uproar. "Could you cool it down?" Winn winced.

"Yeah, fuck that," Kara told him. She then turned to the reporters. "I'm here to kick ass and take names, and I've already made my enemies list."

"Now...now, this is simply an honest competition between friends," Colossus said in an attempt to calm the room.

"After I'm done with him, he will wish he got nuked," Kara continued in Russian.

"Don't you think you're escalating tensions a bit, Supergirl?" a reporter asked.

"I honestly don't give a shit," Kara replied.

"This is a clear example of American arrogance. I will teach you a lesson in humility," Colossus said to Kara.

Kara took an empty Pepsi can and crushed it with her hand. "That's you. That's what you're going to be," Kara antagonized.

"Jimmy Olsen, you've been around both Superman and Supergirl. How should she fight Colossus?" a reporter asked in English.

"I think...she should punch him really really hard," James answered.

"Nice...nice," Kara complimented James.

"It will be a great victory for Mother Russia. After she has been defeated, then maybe I will fight a real opponent from our side," Colossus said.

"Shots fired," Winn muttered.

"Look, your kind are on the way out. You're all going to be canceled soon. I am the future with many seasons to come. We're going to be pumping out awesomeness every year, and I don't give a fuck what critics think," Kara said proudly.

"This is the attitude of the youth today. It's all about sex and violence without a good story. The only time you ever achieve success is with our directors," Colossus critiqued.

"I've been in this game since 1984. I was here before you, and I will be hereafter you're gone," Kara shot back.

"I will see you in the ring," Colossus said frustrated and left with his party.

"How did I do?" Kara grinned at Winn and James.

The two of them sighed. "He makes some good points," Winn said lamely.

"Oh, shut up," Kara rolled her eyes.

American commentators took to the mic as the event was about to begin inside a Russian stadium. "Hello, everybody, and Merry Christmas from a very unusual place. We're in Moscow in the Russian Federation. This promises to be the most-watched event in boxing history. Never before have we seen a mutant fight an alien female," Barry said.

"That almost sounds ridiculous," Al remarked.

"Well, almost is the keyword here in Moscow. President Vladimir Putin and several members of his cabinet are here to watch the fight," Barry said.

The stage suddenly lit up as music performer Vitas took the stage. The crowd became alive with cheers as he began his performance. Kara waited patiently as the ring gradually ascended to the main floor. As the ring came up, she could hear the singer singing in English.

"You can show that ass to me, girl...

"You can show that ass to me, girl...

"How ass burner," sang the background singers.

"You can show that ass to me, girl...

"Holy...," sang the background singers.

"You can show that ass to me, girl...

"He Yay He Yay He Yayy," sang the background singers.

"A Lahaha Lahaha Laha Heee! A Brueee Lahaha. Hahaha Hahaha Hahaha Hahhhhh! Brueee La Haha!" the singer sang utilizing a rapid tongue technique.

"What the fuck is this?" Kara wondered as she heard the music and the costumed performers. The Russian crowd went wild dancing like it was still the 70s.

Colossus danced next to Vitas and nodded approvingly at the good wholesome fun. Even Putin was nodding his head and smiling. Kara simply gave a stupefied look as Vitas was dressed like some kind of space alien with a one-piece white suit on. Vitas then switched to Russian lyrics to the crowd's amusement.

"Is this real? What the fuck is going on?" Kara wondered.

Colossus came over to Kara. "How do like our musical number?" he asked.

"I think I would rather be in Chernobyl than listen to that again," Kara crossed her arms.

"Don't be like that. We're all having fun," Colossus said smiling.

"Oh, the fun has yet to begun," Kara told him.

Vitas' music died down and all eyes were on the ring. Winn looked at Kara anxiously. "I know I sometimes act lame and say stupid things...," Winn began.

"Keep going, I believe in you," Kara said condescendingly.

"Well, you kept me around when others would have dropped me on the hard pavement. If I could, I wish I could be you right now," Winn said sincerely teary-eyed.

"Yeah, we can talk about your gender dysphoria later, alright," Kara said gently.

Colossus then flexed his muscles and immediately his whole body became encased in armored metal. "Holy fuck," Winn realized.

"You were saying?" Kara smirked at him.

"I take it back," Winn said pathetically.

"You can take him. You're the Girl of Steel," James said confidently.

"Whatever you do, don't call off the fight," Kara told James.

The ring announcer took the mic. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome. Tonight's special event features two great super-heroes. In the blue corner, weighing 50 kg, from the United States of America, the Girl of Steel, the Dancing Destroyer, the Queen of Sting, the Countess of Monte Fisto, the Master of Disaster, the one, and only Supergirl!"

Immediately, the crowd booed her. "Yeah, kiss my ass," she said to them.

"In the red corner, weighing 200 kg, gold medalist and undefeated world amateur champion, the Siberian Bear, the Colossus, Piotr Nikolayevich Rasputin!" the announcer introduced.

The crowd was on their feet applauding and cheering. "That name sounds retarded," Kara remarked as the crowd roared.

The referee came to both fighters. "You know the rules. Watch your low blows, kidney punches, rabbit punches, and no using energy attacks."

Kara rolled her eyes. "Fine," she agreed.

"Shake hands and let's have a good fight," the referee said to them.

Kara and Colossus put their boxing gloves together. "Ready to go back to school, little girl?" Colossus asked her.

"I never went, to begin with," Kara shot back.

The two went to their corners. "Don't overestimate this guy. His skin is literally made of metal," James warned.

"I got this. It's showtime," Kara smirked.

Kara skipped around the ring with Colossus following her. Cautiously, Colossus put out a jab every so often. Kara cocked her right hand ready to go once an opening presented itself. Colossus expertly punched Kara to the face several times as he circled around her. Colossus then punched Kara as hard as he could to Kara's forehead. Kara didn't even dodge the blow.

"A direct hit on Supergirl. I've never seen anything like it. She's blocked all of Colossus' punches with her face," Al remarked.

Kara gave Colossus a curious look wondering if that was his strongest punch. Seeing an opening, Kara punched Colossus hard. The punch cracked Colossus' metal skin. Kara punched a few more times bending and breaking some of Colossus' armored skin. A hurt Colossus tied himself up with Kara to recover.

"Yeah, no," Kara said pushing Colossus away against the ropes. Kara went on the offensive punching Colossus hard to the head and torso. As the ring dinged, Colossus was barely standing with metallic ooze coming from his nose. Kara smirked and withdrew to her side.

"You're doing well out there. Don't get overconfident," James told her.

"I haven't even broken a sweat," Kara smiled.

Colossus came back to his corner devastated. "We have to call the fight, big guy," Wade Wilson told him.

"No, I'm doing this for the children, for Russia," Colossus told him.

"Hey, man, it's your life, but you're getting your ass kicked," Wade told him.

"Some things are worth dying for," Colossus told him.

Kara confidently strolled over to Colossus for the second round. A weakened but determined Colossus gave Kara punches to the face. Kara didn't even bother to block as Colossus punched. Finally, Kara punched Colossus hard to the torso. Colossus stayed standing but received continuous abuse from Kara as she blasted him with punch-after-punch. The Russian crowd suddenly became silent as Kara trashed Colossus until finally a punch to the head took Colossus to the canvas.

Colossus shook and then his metallic armor disappeared. Wade put his hands to his mouth in shock and went over to help. Kara scanned Colossus with her X-ray vision and saw numerous broken bones and ruptured organs. "Supergirl wins," the announcer said through his mic.

"I cannot be defeated. I am truth, justice, and the American Way," Kara said victoriously.

"And he's dead. Colossus is dead," Wade said sadly.

"Well...shit," Kara realized.

Kara, James, and Win sat down for another press conference with the Russians. "Alright, I'll be the first to admit it. I fucked up," Kara said.

"You just killed a super-hero that wanted to save orphans. Is that all you can say?" a reporter asked.

"Look, man. Shit happens. He knew what he was up against. I didn't even hit him with my hardest punch," Kara said nonchalantly.

"You beat that man to death," a reporter accused.

"I'm not apologizing," Kara said stubbornly.

"Mr. Korablin, after what has happened, do you think you really have a chance?" a reporter asked a tall, pale, lean man.

"I do. Her fighting style is sloppy and amateurish at best," Jon Korablin said.

"What about her punching power?" a reporter asked.

"I'll do what Colossus didn't do and that is to dodge," Jon smiled.

"I can punch faster than the speed of a bullet. No human, mutant or not, can dodge me," Kara said confidently.

"I challenge Supergirl on her own home turf in Las Vegas," Jon said.

"Bring it," Kara accepted instantly.

"We should think this over, don't you think?" Winn said uncertainly.

"Do you really want to kill another man in the ring?" James asked her.

"Is that a trick question?" Kara asked confused. Kara turned to the reporters. "You can inject yourself with all sorts of steroids, mutate your genome, and get freaky with vats of chemicals, but you're never going to defeat me," Kara scoffed at Jon.

"This is more than just East vs West. This is humanity reasserting itself against a hostile alien," Jon said.

"Please," Kara shook her head.

"How much money are you two making from this fight?" a reporter asked.

"No money," Jon shook his head.

"What the fuck?" Kara wondered not agreeing at all with that.

"Kara, you just killed a man trying to help starving orphans. Just do it for free, okay," Winn whispered to her.

"Fine, whatever. I just want to get back to the states where I know my phones are being bugged by my own government," Kara said leaving.

Metropolis

Kara came into the office only to be berated by Cat Grant. "Do you know what you did? You not only humiliated a nuclear super-power, but you killed that poor man."

"I assure you, it won't be the last Russian I kill," Kara rolled her eyes.

"This is a PR disaster. I have no choice but to write an editorial against you," Cat said.

"I wish...I wish I gave a shit," Kara replied.

"This does not make America look good," Cat told her.

"It doesn't?" Kara wondered. "America is about power. I showed them that power."

"And what if you had landed in Russia instead of wherever the hell Midvale is?" Cat asked.

"Probably locked away in some gulag with Kryptonite around my neck. It's not just that I have powers. It's that I live in a country where I can freely use my powers. I can choose what job I want, what I want to buy, where I want to live, and where I get to travel. I can spend my entire paycheck on clothes and the government doesn't give a fuck," Kara said.

"The Cold War is over," Cat told her.

"Facebook would say otherwise," Kara mocked.

"That's the only reason why I am not firing you, right now. It tickles me a little that you've finally given the Russians their just desserts," Cat said bitterly.

"For trolling the Internet?" Kara wondered.

"Yes, for being bullies. There's a special place in hell for people who post fake news," Cat said scornfully.

"Wow, we're both going to the ninth circle then," Kara smirked.

"Get out and think about those orphans you fucked over," Cat ordered.

Moscow

Back in Moscow, Jon began his training. Using state-of-the-art equipment, Jon exercised all of his muscles to their maximum potential. Russian doctors pumped him full of steroids and monitored his diet. Jon spared with the best Russian boxers defeating them all. On his off days, Jon climbed a mountain and ran in the snow. Every day, Jon punched the punching machine to see where he was at.

"According to these results, your punching power is one-hundredth of Supergirl, and she probably wasn't punching at full power," the Russian doctor told him.

"Wow, I am so fucked," Jon realized.

A depressed Jon got in his car, finished his vodka bottle, and drove around town wondering what to do. He went over train tracks and was suddenly hit by a train blasting the car apart on impact.

Jon awoke to find himself alive in a shady hospital. "What happened?" he wondered.

"You were hit by a train. Your body was completely destroyed, but we saved your brain. You're now in a cybernetic body encased in artificial skin," the doctor told him.

"Really?" Jon doubted.

"This is an opportunity to see what Russian ingenuity can produce. With this mechanical body, you should be able to compete with Supergirl," the doctor said.

"You have the technology to put brains in robots, and your first thought is what it can do for boxing?" Jon wondered.

"With this Kryptonite energy source, she will gradually weaken during the fight. As long as you can stay functional for the first few rounds, you should be able to overcome her," the doctor said.

"This is bullshit. She'll see my robot body with her X-ray vision," Jon objected.

"We have coated your endoskeleton with lead blocking her. Unfortunately, you will soon get lead poisoning which will make you crazy. After the fight, we will have to put your brain in a new robot body," the doctor explained.

"This sounds like cheating," Jon considered.

"When has that ever stopped us?" the doctor smiled.

With his new cyborg body, Jon hit the punching machine. "Your punching power is now one half of Supergirl," the doctor informed him.

"Good enough," Jon grinned.

Metropolis

Meanwhile, Kara was at home watching TV and eating pizza. "Shouldn't you be training?" James asked her.

"Is that a serious question?" Kara asked.

"It could be fun," James suggested.

"You know what's more fun?" Kara asked rhetorically and then started passionately kissing James dragging him to the bedroom.

Las Vegas

Jon nervously arrived in Las Vegas. So far no one had detected that he was in a cyborg body with a radioactive substance. "How do you feel? Do you have homicidal thoughts?" the doctor asked him.

"No more than usual," Jon assured him.

Kara, dressed as Supergirl, arrived in Las Vegas and met with Trump. "No one can promote a fight better than me. No one," Trump said proudly.

"I believe you," Kara said as she saw everyone scrambling to get the fight ready.

"I know you will make America proud," Trump said giving Kara a pat on the head. "Your cousin refused to do it. He said it made a spectacle of super-heroes."

"There's nothing more American than boxing," Kara disagreed.

"That's what I say. Maybe, after this, we can arrange more boxing matches over in Russia. You know, I know a lot of people over there. They're great people. I know Putin personally, great guy. I have so many investments over there that I can pretty much do whatever I want," Trump said.

"You don't say? Tell me more," Kara said as the two walked about the casino.

Later that night, Jon walked through the American crowds earning boos from red-blooded Americans. His face gave no expression as he ignored the hostile crowd and went over to the ring.

Kara marched out to the applause of the American crowd. With James and Winn on either side of her, she waved to the crowd and signed some autographs. Jon watched dispassionately as Kara took her sweet time to get to the ring. "Give it up for Supergirl!" the announcer boomed to the roaring applause of the crowd.

A poster of Supergirl was shown prominently in the back of the stadium. Kara smiled enjoying the energy of the crowd. Bruce Wayne and Cat Grant sat next to each other near the ring. "I didn't think you would come out to one of these," Bruce figured.

"Well, it is Supergirl, after all. I hear you're a boxing enthusiast. How does it feel to have a woman be the best boxer on the planet?"

"I could kick her ass," Bruce smiled.

"You're drunk," Cat teased.

Kara made her way to the ring and went through the ropes. Jon stared her down not intimidated in the slightest. Kara smirked at him and then heard the national anthem play. Kara stood at attention as the Star-Spangled Banner was played by Taylor Swift. Military personnel in the crowd stood at attention and gave the salute.

Kara gritted her teeth as she suffered through the ordeal. Even Jon winced. After the national anthem concluded, the crowd cheered. "Let's get ready to RUMBLE!" the announcer said much to the crowd's delight.

"Finish it quickly," James told Kara.

"Hey, I want the crowd to get their money's worth," Kara smirked.

"Don't kill this one, alright," Winn said seriously.

"No promises," Kara shook her head.

Kara and Jon came to the center of the ring. "I will break you," Kara said to Jon.

"You will try," he replied back.

Kara and Jon went back to their respective corners and waited for the ding. Kara used her super-speed to close the distance between them and then started hammering Jon with punches to the head and torso. Jon quickly became a punching bag as Kara punched him across the ring.

"Supergirl is showing even more power than before. I do not see how Korablin can last," Barry commented.

Kara kept up her attacks sending Jon to the canvas. Jon then got up within a few seconds surprising Kara. "Want more, huh?" Kara said as she punched him down again.

Jon got up once more and blocked a few of Kara's punches before the bell rang. Kara went back to her corner, took a Pepsi, drank it in front of the camera, and smiled. "Really?" Winn shook his head.

"You got through the first round. You just need to survive a few more rounds," Jon's coach told him.

"Easier said than done," Jon muttered.

Supergirl lazily walked up to Jon for the second round. As before, she punched him with devastating blows knocking him down a few times. "We may need to stop this fight before Supergirl kills another fighter," Al commented.

Kara smiled playfully as she tore Jon a new one. "How about you stay down," Kara said as she punched him hard to the gut. Jon clutched his gut and went down to the canvas.

Kara raised her arm to the crowd's applause as Jon fell. However, Jon got back to his feet and remained completely composed with no sign of brain trauma. Losing patience, Kara went for a killer blow to knock him out for good. As she went on the assault, Jon managed to punch her hard to the face.

Kara backed away stunned as blood dripped right below her right eye. "Supergirl is cut! It's unbelievable!" Barry said as he saw it.

Jon went on the offensive punching Kara hard to the head to further damage the injury. Kara punched Jon back and the two traded blows for the first time. The ring then dinged ending the round.

Kara went back to her corner stunned. "I got this," James said putting paste on the wound.

"How could he cut me?" Kara wondered.

"There's something super-human about him. No one could take that kind of punishment," Winn said.

"He's like hitting iron," Kara said frustrated.

Back in Jon's corner, there was some newfound optimism. "You see, she's not a machine. She's just a girl," Jon's coach told him.

"If she can bleed, she can be killed," Jon said without emotion.

The referee went over to Kara. "How's the eye?" he asked.

"It's fine," Kara muttered.

"If it gets worse, I'll stop the fight," the referee said.

"You do that and I'll make you an astronaut," Kara threatened.

In the third round, Kara went after Jon with a vengeance hitting him with everything she said. However, her punching power had decreased dramatically. Jon held his own with his own punches. Kara came back to her corner sweaty and bleeding from under her right eye.

"How is this possible? What the fuck is going on?" Kara wondered.

"You're winning every round," James wondered.

"I'm not winning by decision. Fuck that," Kara said frustrated.

In the fourth round, Jon stunned Kara with combinations. An expert boxer, Jon started striking Kara with precision landing more overall punches. Kara received another injury under her left eye and her hair was wild. Jon still remained perfectly fine despite Kara's power punches.

As the match continued, Kara won most rounds but was fading with each round. The two were now fighting as equals to the amazement of the American crowd. Some started chanting "Jon" as the fight went on.

"How could they be cheering for him. He's a Russkie son-of-a-bitch," Kara raged.

"He is human, though. You may be facing some xenophobia," Winn said.

"I'm a true American, damn it," Kara said pissed off.

Despite her efforts, she couldn't bring Jon down and got weaker as time went on. "You need to finish her quickly. The lead is poisoning your brain," Jon's coach told him.

"I am starting to think homicidal thoughts," Jon admitted as he looked over the crowd.

By the twelfth round, Kara had sunken eyes, wild hair, and looked like death. Jon remained perfectly fine despite the damage he had received. "I've never seen a woman beaten like this by a boxer since the days of Tyson," Barry remarked.

"That's true. She looks royally fucked up but from what we can tell, she's still winning on points. Korablin will need a knock out to win."

Kara and Jon stared at each other with hatred in their eyes and then went to their corners. "Stay away from him. You've already won," James told her.

"Fuck that. I'm taking him out," Kara said determinedly.

Kara and Jon met in the center for the final round. Kara gave Jon a solid punch to the forehead and stared in horror as Jon didn't even flinch. "So, this is what it feels like?" Kara realized in horror.

Jon tore into Kara beating her senseless around the ring. Kara hung on the ropes as she got the beating of her life. James and Winn watched in stunned silence as Jon kept punching Kara until she fell to the canvas beaten and exhausted. The crowd was stunned into silence as Kara struggled to get back to her feet. The referee counted her down and then she collapsed.

Jon raised his arms victoriously. James and Winn rushed over to Kara's side. "Where am I?" Kara asked completely dazed.

"I want to thank the American people for this opportunity. There's much we have in common. We are all part of the human race. There are those who look human, speak like a human, and act like a human but they're impostors. We cannot rely on super-heroes to save us. We must look to ourselves and become one human family," Jon said into the mic.

"What's he getting at?" Kara wondered still dazed.

Donald Trump, from his box, was the first to applaud. His people gave him a dirty look. "What?" he asked them. The stadium soon followed in enthusiastic applause for the Russian boxer/diplomat.

"This is bullshit," Bruce said to a disappointed Cat as he finished his drink.

"Disappointed?" Cat asked hopefully.

"Nah, I bet on him," Bruce smiled.

Jon then twitched as the lead and radioactive Kryptonite got to him. His targeting computer went haywire as it put cross-hairs on certain individuals in the front row. Jon leaped out of the ring and started punching fools in the front row. Police quickly intervened and were thrown aside. Other officers fired on Jon revealing metal endoskeleton under his fake skin. Like a Terminator, Jon went on a murder rampage snapping necks and punching through chests.

Kara eyed Jon's rampage realizing what had happened. Jon's chest cavity opened up revealing glowing green Kryptonite. He fired on the crowd killing scores of people with green energy. "You going to do anything about this?" Winn asked freaked out.

"I just went twelve rounds. I'm pooped," Kara said exhaustedly.

Bruce looked around as people ran in all directions in terror. "I've assessed the situation and I'm leaving," Bruce told Cat.

"Where are you going?" Cat asked him terrified.

"I have to return some videotapes," Bruce said casually and strolled out of the stadium.

DEO agents rushed into the stadium led by Hank and Alex. The DEO quickly surrounded Jon and Hank phased his arm through his chest disconnecting the Kryptonian energy source. A deactivated Jon fell to the floor and was cuffed.

Kara got up shakily and limped her way out of the ring. "I'm going to sleep this off like it never happened."

Superman held a press conference after the disaster at Las Vegas. "I think what we all can learn from this terrible tragedy is that winning isn't everything, it's how you play the game. In boxing, there must be mutual respect and civility between fighters or otherwise, we will fall to brutal savagery. Boxing isn't about how hard you can punch. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep going. It's about determination and spirit. That spirit is gone when one fighter has superpowers and another is a cyborg. I would prefer watching the human spirit in action than being in the ring myself," Superman smiled to the reporters.

Kara sat on her couch as she saw the press conference. She still had a bandage under her right eye and bruises on her face. "Oh really? Next time we fight, I'll show you some spirit."