Floating Through Memories

Summary: What Kira thought as he floated through space and what happened after. Oneshot Suicidal thoughts in the second Oneshot.

Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Seed. If I did Flay would have died a whole lot sooner.

A/N This is part two. Someone said that they would have liked me to continue. Well this is another short oneshot. This is all Kira and its right after he left his friends. I hope you like it.

Karone

They can't find me... I won't let them. I'm wasting away and I will not let them see me like this. They deserve the chance to move on with there lives. I don't want them to worry... About a stupid murderer. I never wanted this to happen. I just wanted to protect my friends!

But that was what everyone was doing... Protecting friends... Family... Their homes...

My friends... They don't understand me. They never could. I'm some freak of nature. I should have died at birth. What would have happened to them if I had not been born? Would they have died? What about the Archangel? I'm so confused.

I walk an unfamiliar path. I glance down an alleyway wishing that someone would jump out and end my life. I wish that car heading towards me would swerve and hit me on accident. I wish a building would collapse on my worthless life.

I glance at different possible deaths as I continue to walk away. I promised myself as I snuck off of the Archangel that I would try to find life on earth. If I am able to live life for one year then I would go back to my friends. Until that day I would not try to kill myself.

I just want to die... To fall asleep and never wake up. That's how I spent that one long year. Trying to fit in but finding I had changed too much... I can't live on...

How to die though? Should it be painful? Or painless? Should I let my friends find my body? Or should I make it disappear? Should I die by poison? By dagger? By gun? Should I light myself aflame?

I sit here in my apartment... I don't know what to do. Lacus? How are you fairing? Do you miss me? Athrun buddy ol' pal. Do you still think of me? Cagalli... I bet you want to kill me right now. Maybe I should go to you instead of trying to think of how I want to die.

Dear everyone,

If you have found this note then it means I'm gone. I promised myself if I could last one year... Build a life for myself and whatever it is to feel alive again then I would come back to you. As it were I decided I can't live anymore. It hurts too much. I'm so sorry...

I left my body for you to find. I don't care where you bury me as long as I'm near the ocean. I can still hear the waves crashing on the sand. What a wonderful sound...

If you can find it in your hearts to forgive me for cowardly taking my own life. I could not help it. I just don't have the will to live anymore. I love you all so very much but not even that can save me from the depression I have brought myself into... I will be watching over you all... always...

Love,

Kira Yamato

No longer a burden...

No longer has care...

A breath of an angel...

Flowing through your hair.

Kira watch's over you.

I have decided... I will take my life in a painless... non-bloody way. Poison. I drank to the last drop as my friends break the door down. They won't be able to save me. I'm too far gone. I can feel there grief as Athrun hold's onto my hand and says I'm not alone. I was never alone... I see that now...

I DON'T WANT TO DIE! And yet by my hand I have done so. I'm so sorry guys... I didn't see that all I needed was you. I'm sorry... I have ended my own life. I will watch over you now. Please forgive me...

"Athrun... forgive me." Darkness clouds my vision as he looks down at me.

"I forgive you Kira. Rest in peace my friend. We will be joining you soon..." Athrun whispers as I draw my last breath.

Darkness takes over and I die sadly... Cursing myself to oblivion that I had ended my own life.

The End

A/N There you go. Now you know why it took him a year to kill himself. Thank you for the reviews in the first half of the Oneshot.