Chapter 14
When Severus finally emerged from the Dark Lord's chamber Lucius and Narcissa had already arrived and were huddled by the window worrying over their slumbering child. It had been a bit extreme to knock out Draco with the Draught of Living Death when both the draught and the antidote could be lethal and there were safer sleeping potions available, but that had been precisely the point: to show Lucius that Severus would not hesitate to endanger his son's life. It also sent the clear message that Severus was Draco's only hope, since only he could administer the antidote safely, a message that had effectively stopped Lucius from taking his son from Bellatrix and escaping Headquarters while Severus was busy with the Dark Lord.
Narcissa's eyes where pools of fear and pleading as she clutched Draco against her chest in obvious anguish and desperation, and while Lucius was more composed there was also entreaty in his grey eyes and Severus felt sure that Bellatrix's presence was the only reason why he hadn't dropped to his knees again to beg for mercy.
"What is going on, Snape?" demanded to know Bellatrix, looking between him and the Malfoys with a suspicious frown. "My sister would never willingly come to visit me, and you would never dare drug-"
"Lucius lost a giant and failed to protect his men in Yorkshire," cut her off Severus. "Until such time as our Lord feels ready to forgive his failure, he will be cut off from Headquarters and separated from his family. Lucius is grounded, basically," he sneered. "He won't even be allowed to know the new locking charm when I change it."
Bellatrix's suspicion was quickly replaced by evil excitement, a malicious smirk appearing on her face as she fixed her crazy eyes on Lucius.
"Not so cocky now, are you?" she mocked him, as usual deriving much too much pleasure from the disgrace and degradation of a fellow Death Eater. "You screwed up so badly that a half-blood can get away with drugging you precious pureblood heir! And you thought Snape was your friend? He was who decided your punishment, the Dark Lord didn't even know that Cissy and the brat were coming to stay here!"
Lucius pressed his lips in a tight line and scowled at Bellatrix, but when his eyes met Severus' there was only gratefulness in them. It was humiliating for a high-ranked Death Eater to be cut off from Headquarters and to be deprived of his woman as punishment for his failure, but he could recover from that, while if Bellatrix and Rosier knew that Lucius was actually being punished for disloyalty they would never trust nor respect him again.
"Only the high command is authorized to know about this," warned Severus, fixing a stern look on Bellatrix, "to everyone else Narcissa is just visiting with Draco while Lucius is busy elsewhere."
Bellatrix nodded in understanding and compliance, still sneering derisively at her brother-in-law. It really was odd and extremely satisfying to have her obeying his commands without question nor insults, it almost made Severus want to fuck her hard to see just how docile and submissive he could render her. The thought of chaining and collaring the nasty bitch, forcing her to swallow his filthy cum or planting a half-blood bastard in her arrogant pureblood womb made his cock drip and pulse with evil anticipation.
Severus looked away and firmly pushed his dark fantasies from his mind. He was beginning to understand Bellatrix's appeal to the Dark Lord, but it would be dangerous to so much as be caught staring lasciviously at the witch, not the least because his master might decide to share her with him and Severus would be unable to refuse.
"I will escort you out, Lucius," he said, wondering if it would count as cheating if he jerked off imagining himself fucking another woman. "Say your farewells."
Lucius must have already said a very thorough farewell to Narcissa, because he just pressed a light kiss to her forehead before gently stroking Draco's head and stepping away from his family. Severus instructed Bellatrix to leave the door open so Nagini could get in and advised Narcissa to take Draco to another room just in case before ushering Lucius out of the Dark Lord's private rooms and leading the way to their master's study.
"My son..." said Lucius imploringly as soon as they were out of Bellatrix's hearing.
"Draco will be fine," assured him Severus, "I know what I'm doing. Did you bring the elf?"
"Yes," said Lucius immediately. "I left it in the lobby. But I hope you know it's not really necessary, Severus, I would never-"
"I would have never thought you would consider to betray me, and yet here we are," interrupted Severus harshly. "I want to trust you, Lucius, but right now I can't."
They continued walking in silence, not speaking again until they reached the study and had to coordinate to let the bloody snake out. Fortunately the vicious beast had calmed down and was more interested in looking for its master than on killing them, although she hissed threateningly at Severus as she slithered past them —no doubt because like an idiot he still hadn't washed the blood from his hair. Once Nagini was out of sight, Severus motioned for Lucius to get in and closed the door of the Dark Lord's study before ordering him to summon the elf.
"Your master is going to give you freedom, Dobby," informed it Severus, twirling his wand between his fingers. "Once you are free, you will bind yourself to me, is that clear?"
The creature's huge green eyes widened in terror and hope.
"Dobby is a house-elf, sir," it squeaked, wringing its hands nervously. "The only freedom a house-elf has is the freedom to choose his master. If Dobby is free Dobby can choose where to go and whom to serve."
"Your only choice is between binding yourself to me or dying, elf," threatened Severus. "I assure you I can slice your throat before you even think of apparating away."
"The magic of the bond demands free will," protested the terrified elf. "House-elves must bind themselves willingly to a master,"
"Then you better be willing," snapped Lucius, his eyes and tone sharp as steel. "You will bind yourself to this wizard, Dobby. It is my last will as your master."
"You are free to choose, elf," said Severus just as sharply. "Serve me and live, or defy me and die."
It wasn't much of a choice, but a choice it was, and the elf should know that not everyone had the option of dying or could choose to live. It also ought to have realized by now that Severus was a fair master, a much kinder one than his current one judging by the visceral fear that Lucius' mere presence inspired on the creature. Just as it must be aware that Severus was on the way to becoming one of the most powerful and influential wizards in Britain so it would actually be an honour for an elf to serve him. He certainly would not continue living in a decrepit Muggle house once the Dark Lord took over everything, his master would probably restore him as the Prince heir, let him pick a manor or two, and fill his Gringotts vault with more gold than his descendants could spend in ten generations.
The transference of property went smoothly. Lucius pulled out from a pocket a pair of very elegant socks —black with emerald embroidery— that he clearly had selected with Severus' taste in mind, to suck-up to him, and solemnly handed them to the elf. The creature held the socks with trembling hands and stared at them for a long moment before looking up at them with tearful green eyes, its reluctance to lose its freedom again easy to see without need of Legilimency. Fear won at the end, however, so they proceeded to perform the bonding ritual and a few minutes later Severus was the owner of a very unwilling, and yet apparently willing enough house-elf.
"You may wear the socks," he said graciously when it was done. "Now go wait in the lobby, do not move from there nor speak to anyone."
Severus was eager to take the elf back to Spinner's End —it made him anxious to know that Lily was there alone, even though she must be still asleep—, but he could tell that Lucius wanted to say something so he waited for his friend to gather his thoughts and his courage.
"That story you told Bellatrix..." he began finally, "was it the Dark Lord's idea, or yours? Does he know...?"
"He knows enough," said Severus. "And no doubt he will see the details in your mind soon enough."
Lucius took a deep, shaky breath.
"Is he...?" he swallowed, "Is he going to punish me? Evan told me about Karkaroff..."
"The Dark Lord hasn't decided what to do with you yet," said Severus. "You should be thankful that he will take some time to think about it while he recovers. I advise you to use the time to reflect as well." He paused for a moment before adding in a softer tone, "You are one of his favourites, Lucius, I know that he wants to forgive your lapse as much as I do, but he needs to be able to trust you. We can't afford traitors, especially not one so high up."
Lucius ran a hand through his unkempt hair.
"I want to be loyal," he said in anguish, "but I can't help to have doubts sometimes, Severus. I won't betray you nor the Dark Lord, I swear, but... I don't know how to control my thoughts. How do you... how do you do it?"
"It is not about controlling your thoughts," half-lied Severus, "it is about trusting your master. You need to trust that he will protect you."
"He sacrificed me to the Order," pointed out Lucius miserably.
"He made a strategic decision," corrected him Severus. "Our Lord is fighting a war, and we are his soldiers. It is not our place to question his decisions, we just have to obey and trust that even if he has to sacrifice us we will remain under his protection. The Dark Lord would have broken you out of prison as soon as possible if you had been captured, Lucius, and your family would have been taken care of in the meantime; at your release you would have been compensated for your sacrifice and rewarded for your loyal silence, and your criminal record would have been erased the instant our Lord took over the Ministry." His fellow Death Eater was hanging on his every word and looking at him as if he were a muggle child desperately wanting to believe that magic was real, so Severus pressed on in his most seductive tone, "No one wants to spend a single day in Azkaban, but isn't a world where we are free to embrace our power and put Muggles in their place without fear of persecution something worth making some sacrifices for? Don't you want Draco to receive an uncensored education and be safe and respected in Hogwarts when he's old enough to attend? That's what we're fighting for, in case you have forgotten."
Lucius sighed wistfully and ran a hand through his hair again.
"It's not the cause I have trouble believing in," he admitted. "It sounds great, and the sacrifice worth it, but... Don't you ever have doubts, Severus? Things have gotten much more dangerous and... unstable in the last few years. Don't you fear what might happen if we lost our master, or if... if we weren't safe under his protection anymore?"
"We will never lose our master," said Severus with certainty. "He truly cannot die, Lucius. And there is no safer place to be than under his protection. Things feel dangerous and unstable because we are at war, but you can be sure that the Dark Lord will win the war very soon." There was still doubt in those unusually vulnerable grey eyes, so Severus stepped closer and placed a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. "If you can't trust the Dark Lord, at least for now trust me, Lucius. Trust that I will protect you and your family if you stay by my side, and that you will land on your feet right next to me if you follow my lead."
After escorting a very conflicted Lucius out of Headquarters and changing the locking charm, Severus went back to administer the dangerous antidote to Draco. Even though he had calculated everything precisely it was a relief when the toddler began to breathe normally again and his little body warmed up, and even more when he began to cry. Narcissa shed tears as well as she rocked the child to calm it down, and when she looked at him Severus could see that she was willing to do anything to show her gratefulness and protect her baby.
He hesitated. His master had already given him permission to fuck Narcissa if he needed to back up an alibi, and while that wasn't urgent —Moody had recognized him in Devon, so the affair story would not hold— after Lucius' near betrayal the Dark Lord would definitely expect Severus to retaliate. He didn't have time to fuck her properly now, but perhaps he could make her suck his cock... Would that count as cheating? A blowjob would be nice, and it was highly unlikely he would be getting one from Lily anytime soon —he would not trust her teeth, and just like kissing he wanted her to do that because she wanted, not because she was forced or coerced. Draco was right there, though, awake, and Severus didn't want to knock him out again nor traumatize him any further making him watch his mother giving oral pleasure to a man that wasn't even his father so he ended up escaping Narcissa's new chambers before she could say or do something too provoking.
He stopped on his way out to give Bellatrix detailed and strict instructions to follow regarding their master's health in his absence as well as to teach her the new locking charm, and then conferred with Rosier for some time and scanned a few more minds before apparating back to Spinner's End with his new elf in tow. He had to give Dobby all its previous instructions all over again, feeling much better now that the creature belonged to him and therefore could not be used by Lucius to get to Lily —his wards were good, but there were very few things that could stand in the way of an elf when its master summoned it so just in case Severus had temporarily kicked Dobby out of the house—, and he additionally gave it permission to choose a new pillowcase to wear with instructions to keep itself clean and presentable —perhaps if Lily saw that he took care of his elf she would eventually forgive the fact that he owned one.
He checked on Lily before leaving, and as he had anticipated he found her still soundly asleep, her face for once peaceful and tearless. Severus felt tempted to wake her up with his cock again, perhaps burrowing under the covers with her and taking her from behind spoon style, but he didn't have time to fuck her the way he would like and it would be completely unjustifiable to bother her now so he forced himself to leave her alone and opted for jerking off in the shower instead —which turned out to be a very disturbing experience, since images of Bellatrix and Narcissa and even the Dark Lord kept invading his mind.
When he was finally clean —and feeling dirtier than ever—, he gave Dobby the final instruction of letting Lily out of the bedroom twice a day so she could use the bathroom and take a supervised shower if she wanted —she had earned herself a reward— and flooed back to Hogwarts, finding with relief that there wasn't a team of Aurors nor a mistrustful Headmaster waiting for him in his personal quarters. The fact that Lily was still safely imprisoned in Spinner's End had already suggested that Dumbledore didn't think he had changed sides, but Severus was feeling extremely paranoid and had half-expected to be arrested the instant he stepped out of the fireplace.
As he looked around his sitting room and inhaled the cold air of the dungeons, Severus felt as if he had returned to an almost forgotten world he no longer belonged to after having been gone for years instead of merely nine hours. So much had happened since he had last been here. He could remember hoping for a night without drama nor violence, intending to simply fuck Lily a time or two and come back to sleep, thinking that he would get his wish as he explored her naked, restrained body... and then his Dark Mark had burned. Everything that had come after that swirled around inside his head, vivid images of himself torturing Bellatrix, resting his head on his master's knee, dealing with Fridwulfa, duelling Flamel and Moody, desperately trying to quench his master's bleeding, slapping Bellatrix, wrestling with the damned snake, assaulting Lily in her sleep, feeling her warm fingers touching his back, coercing her to praise the Dark Lord as he fucked her, watching Lucius beg on a muggle carpet, taking Draco away from Narcissa, casting the Imperius Curse on a baby, slapping Bellatrix again, undressing the Dark Lord, feeling his master's heart under his hand...
Hogwarts had become his home over the last year, a place where he felt safe, in control, and where he was always looking forward to return despite all the annoying dunderheads, but he felt unsettled and anxious now, an almost irresistible pull urging him to turn around and floo back to his master's side, where he truly belonged. Where he was wanted and valued and protected.
I know it's hard for you to be away from me for so long during the school year...
He had thought the Dark Lord an arrogant fool when he had said that to him last night before the raids, but it sounded so true now. Severus had been away from his master for less than an hour, and he already wanted to go back and stay with him. He felt lost and adrift without the Dark Lord guiding his every step, afraid and vulnerable out of his powerful reach, forlorn and cold deprived of his reassuring touch. The threat over Lily's life had clearly confused him, made him doubt his Lord and distance himself emotionally from him over the last year, but now that she was safe and under his protection things were going back to normal, and Severus realized that he had missed that closeness with his master. He had tried to fill the emptiness with the old man, but the bastard had only used him and kept him at a distance, made him feel ashamed of himself instead of accepted the way he was. Severus had gradually convinced himself that the Headmaster cared about him, but he had been a fool and deep down he had known it all along. He had never forgotten the utter contempt in Dumbledore's voice that night in the hilltop, after all, when he had admitted to have asked the Dark Lord to spare Lily in exchange for the son.
You disgust me.
Severus had been so desperate and afraid, so confused and lost... It had been so hard to gather the nerve to betray his master and meet with Albus Dumbledore, to swallow his pride and resentment and fall to his knees before the enemy begging for help... He had hoped for some understanding and compassion, but the old man had been cold as ice and had looked down at him as if he were the worst scum humanity had to offer. As if it were unforgivably wrong not to care if Lily's jerk of a husband died, even after everything Potter had done to him, or to prioritize the woman he loved over a child that was nothing to him.
That coming from the cold-hearted bastard that had coaxed him to accept Lily as a reward and that no doubt would have also prioritized Severus' cover over Lucius' child if the choice had been his to make.
Conflict raged inside him. Severus had missed his master and wanted things between them to go back to how they used to be, but it wasn't as simple as that. He also missed how things had been only a week ago, before the events of Halloween. He hadn't had Lily then, and he had felt empty and alone in his new life as a spy and traitor, but he had also felt... cleaner. More decent. He had felt that he was finally doing the right thing, making up for his past mistakes and crimes, growing a conscience and improving himself as a person. He had had hope for his soul and entertained the illusion that he could wipe the slate clean and make a fresh start in life, that with more options and the mess inside him sorted out he would be able to make better choices and become the man he could have been if he hadn't been born with everything set against him.
He felt that he had even less options now than he had had at seventeen, though, and clearly he was still a mess, his internal wounds still raw, the soul-deep damage far from fixed. Severus had thought he was doing better in the light side and that he no longer needed his master, but plainly he had been deceiving himself. Under Dumbledore's influence he had been repressing his pain and denying his darkness, but everything was still there, and distancing himself from the Dark Lord seemed to have actually undone all the emotional progress he had made with him. He was back to square one now, feeling completely dependent of his master and melting at the slightest touch.
As he strolled through quiet dungeons that smelled like past, Severus was assaulted by a strong feeling of déjà-vu, flashbacks of the thousand times he had walked these halls overwhelming his conflicted mind. He felt as if the last year had not happened and he was back here for the first time since he had graduated, again hiding a Dark Mark under his left sleeve and reporting to the Dark Lord everything that transpired inside the castle, anxiously waiting for the end of term so he could go back to his newfound mentor. Severus was certain that he would have killed himself at some point during seventh year if his master had not been waiting for him, that's how much he had needed him and how much he owed him. He could remember walking these same corridors the day when he had first seen Lily and Potter kissing, drowning in despair after the initial rage had worn off, wanting the pain to be over and wondering if she would even care if he died. It hadn't been the Dark Lord's promise that he would get his revenge and everything he wanted what had kept him from jumping from the Astronomy Tower that day, but the promise of comfort.
And his master had comforted him.
It was Severus' habit to always check on his House before reporting to the Headmaster when he returned to the castle, but he didn't know how long it would take to sort out whatever trouble might have arisen in the last nine hours so he skipped the visit to the Slytherin Common Room this time. He also guiltily shrugged off one of his Prefects in the Entrance Hall after ascertaining that whatever she had to report wasn't deadly urgent, and avoided all the students and colleagues he came across on his way to the seventh floor, noticing with relief that nobody looked at him with more fear or resentment than usual so he must not have been named as a Death Eater in the morning Prophet.
Dumbledore must be waiting for him impatiently, but Severus stopped when he reached the ugly gargoyle and stood there for some time before giving the ridiculous password, trying to clear his confusion or at least organize the chaos inside him. Had he changed his allegiance again? Was he a traitor to the light side now? He had been entertaining treacherous thoughts since he had left his master, but was he seriously considering to betray Albus Dumbledore? What about Lily? She would never forgive him if he rejoined the dark side for real, but it was highly unlikely she would ever forgive him if he stayed in the light side anyway. If the Dark Lord lost the war Severus would lose her for sure, and he didn't think he could survive the pain of being abandoned by Lily again, especially if he lost his master as well. It was actually a relief to know that the Dark Lord couldn't die or would resurrect every time he lost his body.
Severus still wasn't entirely sure of his allegiance when the gargoyle moved aside and he climbed onto the spiral staircase to let himself be transported to the Headmaster's office, but at least he had managed to fortify his conflicted mind against any mental attacks. And perhaps it was better if he wasn't sure, since it would be easier to pretend he wasn't a traitor if that was a real possibility.
"Come in," said Dumbledore's muffled voice in response to his knock.
He took a deep breath and pushed the door open.
"Why so nervous, Snape?" rasped a voice that instinctively sent him into fight-or-flight mode. "Afraid you might be arrested?"
Severus cursed internally. That damned eye! He wasn't used to have to worry too much about the device, since the Dark Lord had charmed all their masks and robes to make them anti-Moody, but he really should have remembered and been more careful in case the bloody Auror was around. Moody must have seen him dawdling by the gargoyle before coming up, and he clearly had seen his nervous expression right before he had knocked at the door.
Standing warily in the doorway and gripping his wand tightly inside his pocket, Severus quickly assessed the situation he had walked into. Moody was the closest threat, and also the most hostile judging by his murderous scowl and the wand he was pointing at him. He wasn't by far the most dangerous threat, though, not when Albus Dumbledore and Nicholas Flamel were present in the same room. Neither of those two powerful wizards was holding a wand, but Severus was certain that they both could draw faster than him so their apparent innocuousness didn't mean anything.
"Put your wand down, Alastor," commanded the Headmaster.
"I don't bloody care if he's a spy, Dumbledore," growled Moody, disregarding the command. "Snape killed people, a lot of people. He was in charge in Devon last night, so all those deaths are on him!"
Well, apparently the secret was out. Dumbledore must have had to inform the damned Auror about Severus' status as a spy to keep him from bringing the entire Ministry down on him. Feeling slightly reassured by the thought that the old man did not doubt his allegiance yet and would not allow Moody to arrest nor kill him, Severus removed his empty hand from his wand pocket and cautiously stepped into the office. He cast a glance at Flamel to assess his level of hostility as he closed the door behind him, noticing that unlike Moody the ancient alchemist didn't seem to hold a grudge after having duelled as enemies hours before and was just looking at him with curiosity.
"Killing people is in my job description, Moody," he drawled finally. "If you want to blame someone, blame my employer. And I don't mean just the Dark Lord," he added. "I would not have been in Devon last night if Dumbledore had allowed me to defect. Everything I do as a Death Eater is on him."
"I have already explained to you that Severus needs to continue acting as a true Death Eater to preserve his cover, Alastor," said Dumbledore from behind his desk. "I assure you it is a hard sacrifice for him on a personal level, but he has agreed to do it because we need someone on the inside and no one else can do what he does. Without his warning we would not have been able to save any lives in Yorkshire last night."
"What about Norfolk and Sussex, mmm?" insisted Moody, although he lowered his wand. "Snape didn't warn you about those raids, did he? And I bet we wouldn't have heard about Devon either if not for Flamel."
"One raid thwarted by the Order can be attributed to bad luck, four on the same night smells of rat," said Severus in the tone he used to explain to his moronic students that sticking their fingers inside a boiling cauldron could be dangerous. "And why would I invite you to crash a raid I will be involved in? I do not wish to kill any Order members."
"You tried damn hard to kill me last night!"
"You think I was trying hard?" mocked him Severus. "You would be dead if I had truly wanted to kill you, Moody. At the very least you would be missing a few more body parts." He ignored the Auror's angry response and turned to address the Headmaster instead. "The Dark Lord instructed me to only warn you about Yorkshire, I could not afford to have the Order interfering with the other raids —it is actually fortunate that he doesn't think I had anything to do with Flamel showing up in Devon. You were not supposed to know that I had been involved in any raid —the Dark Lord had even provided me with an alibi for last night—, but since I was recognized my new story is that I was sent to Devon at the last minute only to help handle the giant. The Dark Lord hopes you will protect me from the Ministry."
"Alastor doesn't think anyone else recognized your voice nor heard him call your name," reassured him Dumbledore. "And Nicholas heard Voldemort command you to take the giant to safety, so I could easily believe that story, especially since you didn't kill any Aurors. For all I know you didn't kill anyone last night."
"He's a double spy?" exclaimed Moody suddenly, his face contorted in furious disbelief. "What the hell are you thinking, Dumbledore? You-Know-Who is obviously playing you, letting you think you have a spy on his side when he actually has a spy right next to you!"
"That is what we need Voldemort to think," said Dumbledore calmly. "Fortunately he is completely fooled about Severus' true allegiance."
"You are are the one fooled! I saw Snape arranging his face before entering the office, he's now wearing a mask as usual, and underneath it there's a nasty Death Eater who wants all of us dead. Not that it's necessary to see his true face to know where his loyalties truly lie, just listen to the reverence in his voice when he says Dark Lord," spat Moody with the utmost contempt. "Only Death Eaters and supporters of You-Know-Who call him that, Dumbledore, you can't trust this scum!"
"I do trust him," said the Headmaster. "And I will vouch for him if I have to. I am willing to testify that Severus was here at Hogwarts last night during the raids, so don't waste your time trying to open an investigation on him. He is a member of the Order of the Phoenix too, Alastor," he continued in a stern, authoritative tone, "and one of our most valuable assets. The outcome of this war might depend on Severus Snape, so he must be protected and kept out of Azkaban. You will not tell anyone that he is a Death Eater, and you will warn me if the Ministry starts investigating him officially, is that clear?"
Having been afraid that Dumbledore would send him to Azkaban —be it for real or to preserve his cover—, Severus should feel relieved at Dumbledore's proclamation of trust and reassured by his promise of protection, but he just felt cold and used.
You disgust me.
The old man thought him scum too, but he was useful scum, an asset that must be protected for as long as his services as a nasty Death Eater with access to the inner circle were required. Dumbledore would not have any more use for him if the Dark Lord was defeated, though, nor any reason to stand in the way of Moody when the vicious Auror tried to chuck him into Azkaban at the end of the war. Severus knew that the Dark Lord also used him, but it wasn't the same. His master always rewarded usefulness, for one, be it with treats, privileges, caresses or simple praise, so it felt good to be used by him. And Severus knew that he would still be valued and protected if he lost his usefulness as a spy, in fact the Dark Lord had given him the option of not returning to Hogwarts today if he didn't feel safe coming back, and there had been reluctance to let him go in those protective red eyes. It had been hard to leave knowing that he could choose to stay, but he had known that his master wanted him to find out about Flamel's curse, and Severus couldn't risk Dumbledore ratting him out, so he had forced himself to go.
His Occlumency mask was firmly in place, but inside him emotions were running wild, his resentment and mistrust at the Headmaster pushing him even closer to his master and making him wish he had stayed by his side. Severus didn't want to be here nor be used by someone who thought him scum. If he was going to lie, torture, kill and rape, he would rather do it for someone who would be proud of him instead of disgusted. He wondered if he would stand a chance of murdering Albus Dumbledore. Not in this company, of course, and probably not in a one-on-one duel, but maybe with poison... Killing the cold-hearted bastard would solve all his problems, since he was the only one who knew and had proof that Severus had betrayed the Dark Lord for real at some point, and the only one on this side who knew about Lily. His master would be more than pleased if Severus removed the old fool from the board, and the war would be all but won after that.
"We were just wondering about Voldemort's health, Severus," said Dumbledore when he had managed to extract from Moody the promise that he would not endanger their only spy, "perhaps you can satisfy our curiosity."
"The Dark Lord is fine," said Severus without missing a beat, resisting the urge to crucio the provoking bastard for refusing to address the Dark Lord by his proper title. "He was hit with a debilitating curse of some kind, but the effects are being neutralized with an Anti-Curse Elixir. The Healer says he will be fully recovered in only a few days." He glanced at Flamel, considering to ask for the counter-curse, but the centenarian didn't seem very reachable standing quietly by the window and watching them as if they were characters in a mildly interesting play, so he turned again to Dumbledore. "May I ask what happened after I left? The Dark Lord hasn't been very forthcoming, all I know is that Flamel was the one to curse him."
"There was a duel," reported the Headmaster. "Voldemort kept the three of us at bay for some time, but he panicked and opted for escaping the scene at any cost when the Ministry people began to raise anti-Apparition wards around us. He deliberately opened himself to be cursed by Nicholas —who must have looked like the safest, less humiliating choice to him— while he tried to distract Alastor and me long enough to disapparate."
Severus nodded, feeling awed at the knowledge that his master was powerful enough to keep at bay Dumbledore, Flamel and Moody together, and level-headed enough to be able to think strategically even through his panic. It must have been terrifying to sense an anti-Apparition trap closing around him while he was too occupied duelling these three powerful wizards, but he still had been able to decide and control which opponent was allowed to hit him. Flamel certainly had been a much safer choice than Moody, who had been firing deadly curses almost exclusively, and the Dark Lord no doubt would prefer to die —or lose his body— rather than let Dumbledore graze him with the mildest hex. It had been risky to expose himself to an unidentified curse, but Severus would have probably made the same choice if he had still been alive and standing by that point. Flamel was undoubtedly powerful and dangerous, but he had been clearly aiming to incapacitate rather than kill, and being bested by a wizard six centuries more experienced was about as humiliating as it would be to be bested by Merlin himself. Of course his master believed himself better than Merlin, so he must be mortified, but in Severus' opinion he had nothing to be ashamed of. It was actually even more impressive that the Dark Lord had managed to apparate away in time and that he hadn't left a limb behind in his panic and physical weakness. His splinching had been serious because of the critical location, but it would technically classify as minor; it could even be said that it hadn't been a proper splinching since the severed tissue had travelled with him.
"Snape hasn't said anything about the injury," said Moody, looking at Severus suspiciously. "We found blood where You-Know-Who had been standing, Snape, what do you have to say about that?"
All right, his master had left a little blood behind. Still impressive.
"I was not aware of any injuries besides the debilitating curse," he lied. "The Dark Lord didn't allow anyone but his mistress and the Healer to attend him when he returned, I was only called later to discuss my cover and by then he looked fine if still weak."
"Voldemort must have splinched himself apparating," mused Dumbledore. "Most of his followers believe him more than human and might have a crisis of faith if they saw him bleed so it doesn't surprize me that he concealed the fact that he was injured. He probably tried to hide that he was cursed as well."
"He failed," said Severus. "Everyone saw him return in a debilitated state, and several Death Eaters were witness of his duel with Flamel so rumours are already spreading through the ranks. There will likely be unrest until everyone sees the Dark Lord back to normal, which is why he wants to recover faster." He hesitated. "I was instructed to find out everything I could about the curse Flamel used and ideally its counter-curse."
Dumbledore looked inquiringly at Flamel, who gave a silent nod of assent.
"You can't be serious!" burst Moody in undignified disbelief. "The first time anyone manages to hit the bastard with anything and you'll send him the bloody counter-curse? We're supposed to be trying to finish him, in case you have forgotten! Instead of helping him get stronger we should take the opportunity to strike! Snape clearly knows where he's hiding, and he can get us through the wards, we can have half the Ministry there before midday and ambush them while You-Know-Who is weak and his minions are disorientated."
"A plan doomed to fail at each step of the way," drawled Severus. "Don't you think if it were viable to attack the Dark Lord's center of operations Dumbledore would have already done it? All it can be achieved with such course of action is to blow up my cover."
"Severus can't give us access, Alastor," said Dumbledore, "and Voldemort's Headquarters are better fortified and organized than Hogwarts so by the time we managed to breach the wards it would most likely be empty. We had our opportunity in Devon, and Voldemort escaped, now we will have to wait for another opportunity to arise. In the meantime Severus' position as a double spy must be maintained, and for that he must be able to take useful information to Voldemort. Nicholas has already told us that the counter-curse isn't really necessary, Voldemort will make a full recovery with a standard curse neutralizer, so we gain nothing by denying him the information."
"We gain time! He will recover faster with the counter-curse!"
"It makes little difference to us if he recovers today or on Wednesday," said Severus with irritation. Moody was giving him a headache with his obtuse yelling. "He will be pleased if I obtain this information for him, though."
"That's all you care about, don't you, Snape? You just want to please your master in the hopes that he will give you a pat on the head or toss you a treat," said Moody scornfully before turning on Dumbledore. "Is this how this double spying thing works? Whatever You-Know-Who wants he just has to send his lapdog to ask for it and you give it to him? Why do you even play this game instead of simply using Snape to end it? I'd bet my other eye that he brews all the potions for You-Know-Who, if he's really on our side why doesn't he just poison the bastard and be done with it? Snape could easily slip something into the next dose of Anti-Curse Elixir, why am I the only one suggesting the obvious?"
"My apologies, Headmaster, I didn't realize how easy it would be to kill the Dark Lord," drawled Severus, fighting the urge to curse the bloody Auror to shut him up. "It is obvious now that Moody suggests it, though. Of course the potions I brew are not inspected nor tested, and Healers rarely verify the quality and safety of what they administer. The Dark Lord never checks what he ingests either, no one would ever use the word 'paranoid' to describe him. I can poison him tonight and end the war by tomorrow morning at the most, would that be fast enough? If not I can just hit him with the Killing Curse, that should be easy to do, and that way it would all be over before midnight. The Prophet can announce it in the next-"
"That is enough, Severus," said the Headmaster with a sigh. "This is the reason why you were not informed of Severus' position, Alastor. You cannot make, understand or accept the sort of decisions that handling such a high risk spy requires. There is also no trust between you and Severus, so you could never work together."
"You shouldn't trust him either, Dumbledore! He's a bloody Death Eater! They are rotten, the lot of them, and Snape is not just one more of the lot, he's obviously high in the pecking order. How do you think You-Know-Who chooses his commanding officers? Blind loyalty is the first requirement, you can be sure, and ruthlessness..."
Dumbledore and Moody continued arguing about his trustworthiness or lack thereof, but Severus only paid half-attention to them and didn't interject anything else, not wanting to make the old man suspicious by seeming anxious or reacting too defensively to the Auror's accurate accusations. It was fortunate that the Headmaster didn't seem to have realized yet that Severus often was at his most honest when being sarcastic, because he certainly had had plenty opportunities to kill the Dark Lord in the last six hours. Most of them while he was conscious, unbelievable as that was. His master had not even glanced at any of the healing potions Severus had given him to drink, and he had let him cast magic on him while his infamous wand was safely resting on the night table —he had put it away to resist the temptation of killing his favourite subject if he caused him pain touching the wound. Of course now Severus knew that the Dark Lord would not have truly died if he had killed him, but he hadn't known that at the time —like everyone else, the sight of the Dark Lord bleeding and convulsing had convinced him that he was mortal after all— so Moody was right to mistrust him. The damned Auror was even right about Severus hoping for a pat on the head from his master.
Trying to appear bored and unconcerned, Severus let his eyes wander, his interest immediately being captured by the medieval wizard present in the room. Flamel looked indeed as if he hadn't updated his wardrobe since the 14th century, his robes not a modern imitation of the middle ages' fashion but actual middle ages' robes, and also as if he hadn't aged a single day since his oldest illustration in the history books. It had been very easy to recognize him in the battlefield, but Severus was still having trouble processing that the legendary Nicholas Flamel was standing only a few feet from him. It was mind-blowing to think that he was breathing the same air than a wizard that had seen the world before the Statute of Secret, someone who had lived through the witch-hunts and who had been there when wizardkind had decided to go into hiding. If someone had reason to hate Muggles as a race, it must be him, who had witnessed with his own eyes everything that those bastards had done over the last six centuries, and yet he had intervened to protect a Muggle town last night.
Even harder than wrapping his head around Flamel's long existence was to assimilate the fact that Severus had duelled —if briefly— a powerful six-hundred-year old wizard and held his own. It was one of his greatest achievements so far, the kind of thing he would tell his great-great-grandchildren on his deathbed —assuming he lived that long and didn't die childless and alone. It was strange and depressing to think that Flamel would still look exactly the same when Severus laid all wrinkled and white-haired waiting for death to claim him a hundred or more years from now.
Another depressing thought crossed his mind.
Would the Dark Lord still look the same —or have an ever younger body— the day Severus died of old age? And Lily...
Suddenly Severus was considering the anachronic wizard in front of him with different eyes, coveting the Philosopher's Stone he must have well hidden somewhere. He knew that Flamel lived with his wife, both over six hundred years old, so Severus would be able to keep Lily with him if he had access to the Elixir of Life, and then he would get to live forever with the woman he loved and no one would ever take his place by his master's side. Severus had always lived sort of in the moment, not daring to make plans for the future —partly because his survival had always been uncertain and partly because he hadn't wanted to make plans without Lily—, but now that Lily was his and he felt more secure he was starting to look ahead. He had been thinking about being a father, having a family, building a legacy, dying surrounded by great-great grandchildren... Lily would also die in that scenario, though, probably before him due to the power difference, and he couldn't bear that idea, just like he couldn't bear the idea of his master recruiting another Severus to replace him. He also didn't want to grow so old as Dumbledore, not if that meant he would have trouble holding an erection or performing in bed as well as he did now. Of course it wouldn't be so easy to get his hands on a Philosopher's Stone, it wasn't something he could just brew following a recipe, and there was only one in existence as far as he knew so Severus would almost certainly have to steal Flamel's. He wasn't powerful enough yet to take the centenarian wizard down, but perhaps the wife would be more accessible, and no doubt the alchemist would be willing to negotiate if Severus held her hostage...
Lost in his dark thoughts, Severus didn't notice at first that his target had turned his attention to him, so he found himself snared by the ancient gaze before he could look away. He had felt closely watched by Flamel the entire time he had been here, but this was the first time their eyes met at close distance so only now Severus realized that he was in the presence of another powerful Legilimens. Confident as he was in his own mental abilities, he wasn't sure he could withstand the mental attack of a wizard who had had six hundred years more practice than him, so he was relieved when Flamel didn't even try to get into his mind. The man was just looking at him with a very serious, thoughtful expression, as if trying decide how to classify Severus in some mental taxonomy of his own devising.
"Severus."
He wrenched his eyes from Flamel, his heart still beating rather fast and feeling in his gut that he should put as much distance as possible from that wizard urgently.
"Yes, Headmaster?"
"I would like you to shake hands," said Dumbledore gesturing at Moody.
"Keep dreaming, Dumbledore," spat the Auror, looking at Severus with loathing. "My last partner bled to death after being hit with a curse that I've only seen Snape and You-Know-Who use. I won't shake the hand that cast that curse."
"I'm not exactly thrilled to shake the hand that brutalized Wilkes," said Severus coldly. "We are both nasty murderers, Moody, stop thinking yourself morally superior."
"I am not asking you to forgive nor trust each other," intervened Dumbledore before Moody could retort, "only to acknowledge that you are both on the same side now. Shake hands."
The Auror still resisted, but after several tense seconds under Dumbledore's inflexible scrutiny he finally capitulated and proceeded to try and crush Severus' fingers, the scorn and hatred twisting his face even more intense than Bellatrix's when they had shaken hands last night after Severus had tortured and humiliated her. It was extremely satisfying to see Alastor Moody forced to shake the hand that Severus had indeed used to kill his former partner and that he fully intended to use to kill him as well at the first opportunity. The Dark Lord was never going to stop laughing when he showed him this, he thought with mirth as he watched the bloody Auror limp his way out of the office after throwing Severus one last mistrustful look.
"I would have thought you of all people would have been able to spot at first sight someone corrupted by darkness, Albus," drawled Flamel when it could no longer be heard the dull clunk of Moody's wooden leg, fixing his intense eyes on Severus again. "You must be going blind if you cannot see that this man is completely lost."