CHAPTER 3: THE MEETING

Millions and billions of galaxies away - okay so three miles and two blocks to the left - Voldemort stood in the middle of a circle of people, a grim expression on his face.

"Crabbe, Goyle, Nott... I cannot say I am very pleased with you right now. You did not follow my orders directly."

"Terribly sorry master..."

"It won't happen again, my Lord..."

"YOU'RE BLOODY RIGHT IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN!" Voldemort screamed at them, spit flying from his mouth. "I will not tolerate your lack of hard work any longer; do you hear me? This is the last straw!"

"Yes, sir..." The three stooges – I mean Death Eaters, mumbled.

"Ahh... Lucius, my slippery friend; answer me this: why is it that I call you that again?" Voldemort said, a confused look coming over his face.

Lucius stared for a moment, then opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again once he realized he has absolutely no idea why the Dark Lord calls him "slippery." Perhaps it's a rather sick nickname for the time he slipped and fell on his buttocks after ignoring the sign that said, "Slippery when wet" at the supermarket.

Perhaps.

"Doesn't matter," Voldemort decided, shrugging, after a few moments, and continued his march around the circle.

"Snape," he practically whispered the name, "Your work has pleased me greatly, you will be rewarded. With Dumbledore out of my way I can now have all the slumber parties I want and not feel bad about not inviting him, because he couldn't come anyway, because he's DEAD!" Voldemort shouted the last word, threw his head back and gave a high, malicious sounding laugh; and then immediately stopped, shifting his eyes a bit. "Ahem."

"Yes, my Lord," Snape says, curtsying.

"Today, my dear friends," those last words made him shudder, "Sorry about that, ahem, today my dear followers you will be tested! Whoever comes out on top will be greatly rewarded; therefore winning himself the sleeping bag next to me during the next Death Eater slumber party, and the one who comes up last, will get the sleeping bag on my other side, just incase I decide to kill during the night." Voldemort stopped and a wide grin spread across his face as he clapped his hands together. "Okay, so, who's ready to start?"

All of the Death Eaters put their hands to the middle of the circle and chanted: "Two, four, six, eight, who do we love to hate? Harry! Harry! Harry," and then they were off to their positions.

Voldemort spoke softly, "Normally, we would test to see how long you can stand to hold the Cruciatus Curse, correct? But today, I have decided that we shall be using a different sort of torture; something muggle women have to deal with, so whoever loses I will greatly look down upon."

All the Death Eaters shifted a little in their seats.

"Anywho, lets get started, shall we?" Voldemort said, turning on some opera music. "Come out torturers!"

At once fourteen baby strollers rolled out of the shadows and parked themselves next to each Death Eater's chair. "Let the torture begin!" Voldemort shouted, and immediately fourteen babies stood up in their strollers and began to repeatedly hit the Death Eaters over the head with their rattles, all the while Voldemort was laughing his cold, shrill laugh.

Almost immediately Crabbe and Goyle screamed like girls and ran away from the babies. Who would've guessed they'd lose first? After about five minutes' time Nott came out after them, a large bump on his head; apparently his baby had had some sort of grudge on him.

Lucius sat with his fists clenched, biting his lip; Macnair sat with his hands clasped together, his eyes closed; Snape sat turned away from the baby, so it was hitting the back of his head, and was chewing bubble gum and reading "Cosmo." On the other side of the room Draco, Pansy Parkinson, Frederick Nott, Blaise Zabini, and the only slightly smaller Crabbe and Goyle were all sitting with their arms crossed, looking mutinous.

Mutiny... This idea struck Malfoy suddenly like a brick to the head. Or perhaps that was the baby rattle..? Anywho, the thought struck him and he immediately began to think about what it would be like to be worshipped like Lord Voldemort. How wonderful it would be to have people fawn over you and kiss the hems of your robes; how awesome would it be to have people love you, even though you tortured them? I mean, Draco loved Voldemort with all his heart and soul even though Voldemort tortured him.

On the other side of London, back at Hogwarts, Ginny, Harry, Hermione and Ron were all sitting in the Gryffindor common room. Harry and Ron were playing wizard's chess and Hermione and Ginny were deep in conversation.

"So, you and Harry are back together?" Hermione asked, prepping her hair in a mirror.

Ginny smirked and popped a bubble with her gum. "Of course, darling, but I've got my eye on someone else," and she raised her eyebrows a few times.

Hermione looked awestruck and scooted closer to the redhead, "Who?"

Ginny glanced around nervously to be sure Harry and Ron weren't listening and leaned in close to Hermione, "Draco Malfoy," she whispered.

Hermione stood up so fast that Ginny fell over, and Hermione kicked her a few times before shouting, "No! He's mine you ugly little brat!"

"Hermione!" Harry yelled as he grabbed her arms from behind and pulled her away from Ginny, who was whimpering on the ground.

"Let go of me!" Hermione screamed, elbowing Harry in the ribs and running at Ginny again, who had just stood up with Ron's help.

"Hermione," Ron screeched as he tried to pull the two girls off of each other, "Why are you trying to kill Ginny?"

"Because – she's – trying – to – steal – my – man!" Hermione spat each word when she had time in between the hair pulling, slapping, punching, and kicking that was going on between her and Ginny. At the last word Hermione kicked Ginny so hard in the shins that she fell over, and Hermione backed up, wiping blood from her mouth.

Ron looked confused, "Why would my sister try to take me away from you? You're her best friend."

Hermione looked skeptically at Ron and started to laugh. "You... th-think you're a-a.. MAN?" she howled as she fell over onto the ground laughing, clutching a stitch in her side.

Ron looked at her strangely.

"You're no man, Ronald Weasley! And besides, you're in love with Harry anyways," Ron started to blush, "I know I've just been your cover-up, and I know Harry's using Ginny as a cover-up; I saw you two snogging in Transfiguration yesterday!" Harry and Ron looked at each other, it was hard to tell who was blushing more.

"Then who are you talking about?" Ron asked.

"Draco Malfoy!" Hermione and Ginny exclaimed at the same time, causing them to shoot each other loathing looks and storm in opposite directions... The war had begun.