CHAPTER 6: BONSAI

Voldemort sprinted through the dark, cold room in his flannel pajamas, dodging Death Eaters and hurdling sleeping bags when suddenly he was hit smack in the back of the head by a bright purple pillow, falling forwards onto his face.

"Ow," he whined, pulling himself up off of the ground, and grabbing the pillow. He looked out to all of his Death Eaters, all wearing their pajamas, some lying in their sleeping bags chatting; Voldemort was especially fond of Lucius' sleeping bag, as it was The Little Mermaid.

Anywho, he looked at his Death Eaters and tried to figure out who had hit him. "Who hit me?" he hissed. All of the Death Eaters shivered.

Theodore Nott stepped forward. "It was I, Master," he said, bowing nice and low.

Voldemort's icy stare turned instantly into that of a seven year old boy on Christmas morning. He swung hard and hit Theodore, or Teddy, as Voldemort liked to call him, right in the ribs, knocking the wind out of him, so he fell to the floor.

"Pillow fight!" several Death Eaters yelled, and within seconds pillows were flying left and right, up and down, side to side, all around! Yes, indeed, Voldemort and his Death Eaters were acting like little Sorority girls, dressed in their pajamas and having a pillow fight, giggling madly. Well, they weren't exactly like sorority girls. Their pajamas were somewhat different. Well, except Lucius'; his were rather provocative.

Anyway, for a few minutes the Death Eaters and Voldy-poo hit each other mercilessly with pillows, then they all fell to the ground, panting, and of course, giggling.

Wow.

Who would've guessed that's what they did at Death Eater slumber parties?

Well, then again, who would've guessed they had Death Eater slumber parties?

So, our dear little friends spend the night talking, laughing, playing games; but alas, all good things must come to an end.

"AHEM!" Voldemort cleared his throat very loudly. "Now, to business!"

"Bonsai!" the Death Eaters roared. It was a new rule. Instead of saying "yes sir" or "yes my lord," or even "yes master," now all Death Eaters must say "Bonsai" when being spoken to or addressed by the Dark Lord.

"So, I will now, without further interruptions," Voldemort looked up at his forehead where "ANGER" was still vaguely visible, "Ahem... I will tell you of my plans to capture and kill Harry Potter!"

"Bonsai!"

"We're going to lure him out of Hogsmeade with an archery contest!" Lucius suddenly yelled.

Voldemort shot him a look of pure hatred and loathing, and all the Death Eaters gasped.

"I WAS SUPPOSED TO TELL THEM, YOU IMBECILE!" Voldemort screamed at him, spit flying everywhere. "Crucio!" he yelled, and Lucius was on his back, twitching and fidgeting as though he were being prodded everywhere by invisible sticks. That was, of course, exactly what was happening.

You see, the Cruciatus Curse has long since been changed into something much worser!

Worse.

Worser..?

Whatever. Anyway, it's been changed. To exactly what was said before.

PAY ATTENTION WILL YOU?

Voldemort took the curse off of Lucius and laughed his cold mirthless laugh, unfortunately he laughed a little too hard, causing him to begin to cough. He sat there, hunched over, and coughed for a few moments, then took a few wheezy breaths and sat up again.

"Ahem," he cleared his throat. "As my dear Lucius has just informed you, we will be luring Harry Potter out of Hogsmeade with an archery contest." A broad smile cracked the icy look that was upon his face. "And then, we'll kill him!" he exclaimed, and then laughed an evil, evil laugh as the Death Eaters chortled along.

"Bwaha! Bwaha! Bwaha!"

So what has our dear Harry been doing for almost two chapters, do you ask? Yes, he is still in this story.

Harry was sitting in the Gryffindor common room, thinking hard about how he was going to destroy the other Horcruxes of which Voldemort owned, and how he was going to kill him. He thought and thought and thought some more. Fortunately, Harry is slightly smarter than dear Snapey so he figured it out after only three thoughts.

A light bulb clicked on above his head and his face brightened as he stood up, punching his arm into the air, and, in turn, smacking his head on the light bulb. He quickly grabbed the light bulb and threw it into the fire. "I'VE GOT IT!" he yelled so loudly that a few first year girls sitting in the corner screamed.

"Got what, my Harry dearest?" Ron looked over at him from the couch.

"I know how to kill Voldemort!" he exclaimed.

Ron looked at him strangely.

"But..." He raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you already know that you had to destroy all of the Horcruxes to destroy him?"

"Yes, of course," Harry muttered, "But I know how to destroy the Horcruxes!"

Rom looked at him strangely.

"But..." He raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you already know how to destroy them?"

"Yes, of course," Harry muttered, "But I know what all of them are!"

Ron looked at him strangely.

"ENOUGH WITH THE LOOKS, RON!" Harry screamed at him, causing a group of second years in another corner to scream.

Ron gave him a strange look.

"Stop it!"

"Okay... Sorry, jeez," Ron mumbled. "So, what is your brilliant new plan?"

Harry gave an evil grin. "Well, I figured I'd just summon all the Horcruxes here and kill them off," he looked at Ron, "Would you like to help?"

Ron smiled. "Why, yes, yes I would. When are we going to do it?"

"The next Hogsmeade trip," Harry explained, rubbing his hands together mischievously. "That way not many people will be here at Hogwarts."