But as the nights dragged on Asami grew antsy and began questioning herself and her decisions. Sure, she felt Korra was her everything and worth the sacrifices in this moment, but would it always be like this? She muffled a deep sigh at this concerning thought that plagued her. The young Sato had never doubt her decisions in life until Korra.
Korra made Asami doubt the status quo and discover an entirely new Asami Sato that was lurking beneath the surface. Korra had opened her eyes to the depravity of her own family that she had grown numb to out of what? Was it duty or love? But the fact that Asami had been blind to such depravity in the past was not sitting well with the current Asami Sato.
In fact, this version of Asami was not so different she realized as she pondered the subject more whilst she tossed and turned these past few sleepless nights and stressful days as she cared for Korra. This Asami had been blind to Korra's lies, her drug use, her betrayal. The kind of backstabbing Korra did in order to so-called 'protect' her was a sort of self-serving depravity in itself, Asami knew it deep down and was slowly convincing herself.
Asami had always been an upfront and honest woman with Korra, even if it meant disclosing things she was ashamed of. Things she had done her best to cover up in the past, she had unearthed for Korra in the name of love. How was she repaid? Korra bold-faced lied and strung her along, and yet Asami loved her and was following her like a sheep. It was insanity, she was beginning to realize, thinking that she could just trust Korra. That things would suddenly be okay, that Korra would just stop lying, stop using out of love.
If Hiroshi Sato had taught his daughter anything it was that people did not just change because they loved you- it was the loss of love that invoked changed whether it was negative or positive. Asami had learned that through heartbreak was the only way people showed their true selves, and the thought of breaking Korra further and breaking her own heart in the process terrified the young CEO. However, she was beginning to feel it was the only way she would know where Korra stood. That night, her ideation was solidified in a fit of paranoia...
Asami had been naïve to assume that Korra had no drugs hidden in their home. Neither her or Kya had conducted a search of the Sato Estate- neither had thought Korra would do such a thing. Lin Beifong on the other hand had her suspicions- it was not personal with the avatar Lin just knew how addicts functioned being a police chief and having dealt with them throughout her career. But, Lin had a love for Korra as if she were family, and that had softened her, made her dubious to conduct a search or suggest one be done.
But that night with free time on her hands and suspiscions abound and skepticism over taking her heart Asami began to assail Korra's character. She was no longer looking at Korra through the rose colored lenses of jaded girlfriends, but through the eyes of loved one, betrayed by someone's addiction. She began to ponder how Korra had such free access to drugs in such a remote location or why she never displayed symptoms of withdrawal before.
As the night turned to the wee hours of the morning, Ms. Sato settled- with much dread- on the conclusion that her girlfriend had a stash of drugs in her home, a home she had so willingly opened up to Korra and claimed as both of theirs. Asami felt angry, betrayed, sad, and so many things she couldn't defined as she stifled a heartbreaking sob into her pillow, unable to will herself to look for Korra's stash. Yet, she was unable to sit there and not know if she was wrong either as she silently cried to herself, hoping not to wake Korra- yet secretly want to confront her for answers, not wanting to find them herself.
This unenlightened feeling about the current predicament between herself and Korra did not sit well with Asami Sato, who had long a go shed the persona of that anxious girl who was not good enough for anyone. Yet, there she was in the early morning hours crying to herself out of fear, fear that Korra did see that 'they' were worth fighting for. Worth getting clean for, to give their love a fighting chance at a happily ever after, at a bright future. Everything had been pn the up and up earlier that the day, and then with a moment of clarity, a moment's reprieve from Korra's spell Asami was reduced to a shadow of herself- the little girl anxious of life, destroyed and broken down by design just as Hiroshi had wanted her.
That thought seemed so ironic now, Hiroshi wanting a weakened, obedient, complaint daughter- when now his daughter was everything he had envisioned her to be embracing the dominant, powerplay qualities of a CEO and leader only to revert to his broken disappoint child who was clearly not the male heir he desired nor the complaint daughter he expected.
Asami was proud she had grown into the powerful woman she was, even if it meant becoming everything she had hated in Hiroshi because she embraced the qualities she hated in her father and turned them into a pluse. But now, she was seeing the negative broken girl Hiroshi despised, and Asami knew she needed to take charge and uncover the truth of what Korra was truly up to, whether or not the truth would break her heart was irrelevant. Asami Sato was not raised to be a fool, but she knew a thing or two about living with a broken heart.
After much internal debate, Asami found the inner strength within to gather herself mentally and physically as she slowly slid out of bed and began her search for Korra's 'stash'. Unsure where such a thing would be kept, Asami took a few moments to clear her mind and think back to when she was in hear early teen years and desperate to hide anything to do with her true sexuality and personal life from the prying eyes of her father's staff.
Jade eyes began searching in the darkness of the walk-in closet Asami had christened as Korra's, as she thumbed through stacks of neatly piled clothes, her worst fear was confirmed. In between neatly stacked clothes were packets of fine white powder, herbs both ground and whole, syringes new and old, and vials of liquid. It was clear to the now heartbroken and devastated CEO that her girlfriend had more of a problem than she or Kya were letting on.
Wordlessly, Asami left the drugs in place and walked to her own closet, covering herself with a thick fleece robe, finding her silk camisole top and shorts suddenly too revealing to be near Korra. The thought of Korra near her at the moment repulsed her as she tried to get a grip on her thoughts, she headed toward the reading nook in her room and collapsed into a comfortable chair allowing silent tears to fall as the thoughts and feelings bombarded her.
How could she have been so dense? She was not sure, but it was obvious Korra had not lessened her drug habit upon getting together, because if that was less Asami was certain Korra would have already been comatose from overdose if she were still alive. She did not know what hurt more, the bold face lying about the extent of her drug use or the fact that Korra was not even trying to get clean which was evidenced by the freshly used needles in the closet.
Asami had never mentioned to Korra what a limb she had gone out on for her. She had put her name on the line for the avatar to not be forced into rehabilitation, for her secret to be kept, and legal ramifications to be excluded for all she had done. And yet, Korra still was using behind Asami's back making her a fool for everyone to see. Asami was done being fool, she was not sure if she had it in herself to tell Korra to leave, but she knew deep down she was done protecting Korra. No matter how much she loved the avatar, Asami knew it was time to start showing love for herself and not let herself be used.
To say Asami was conflicted about how to proceed with the knowledge she had about Korra's behavior was an understatement, but she did know that she had to change something. It was abundantly clear by Korra's actions that the avatar did not hjave enough faith in their relationship to believe that getting clean was worth it. The disrespect Asami felt was palpable, reminding her of all of the times she felt like a small child publicly belittled by Hiroshi for his own personal gain.
Korra's actions were dredging up a host of emotions and memories for Asami- none of which were pleasant and all of which were overwhelming and draining. The influx of emotions made Asami want to curl and bawl, she felt small and unimportant- all of the self-esteem and confidence she had built through the years had evaporated leaving her as the broken girl who missed Yasuko more than anything. And miss Yasuko, she did- more than anything in the universe. There was nothing Asami would not give to speak to her departed mother and seek guidance about life, more specifically about what to do with Korra and her broken her heart.
As crazy as it seemed to Asami, after everything they had been through and she had discovered- she still did not want to quit on Korra. She believed they were meant for each other- soulmates if you will. It seemed a bit insane to her now, though, given the new found evidence of Korra's betrayal, but Asami still loved her with everything she had.
She still believed in the genuine good in Korra, and the amazing person that resided behind the addiction. If she could just help Korra rediscover herself, they could have their happily ever after. She was certain. She knew, she couldn't force Korra to change, but Asami saw glimpses of the old Korra lurking under the surfaces. And, in spite of all the lies and betrayal, she still believed the avatar when she told her that she loved her. Asami could still see the glint of truth and the glimmer of love in Korra's eyes when they spoke and she stared into her own jade eyes.
She hugged her robe to herself, finding comfort in the fluffy material as she cried silently to herself- Asami was torn up as the tears flowed freely she carefully stifled any sound. She loved Korra with every fiber of her being- nothing had changed that and she was certain nothing could. However, she felt suffocated, duped by the deceit.
Asami would do anything for Korra, and she had. Yet, Korra was not willing to even try to get sober for her or at the bare minimum have an open and honest conversation about what was going. The CEO felt like she was losing the love her life bit by bit. Korra was becoming less and less like herself, losing herself to this addiction and leaving Asami in the dust and leaving her with this broken version of Korra that was a total stranger. The thoughts rolled around in Asami's mind depressing her even further as she silently bawled herself to sleep, eyes puffy, red, and raw. The crying had been unproductive, not even cathartic as she was more upset than before and had not reached conclusion as how to address her current predicament.