CHAPTER 10: GRATUITOUS SNOG SCENES

With only four days until the dance, everyone at Hogwarts was bustling around at top speed trying to be ready in time.

Hermione sat in her Head Girls room that she shared with the Head Boy. Because we all know that in good Draco/Hermione fics they are the Heads and forced to share a room and mingle with each other, right?

Right.

So Hermione was sitting in her room at her vanity, taking countless hours to do her hair and make-up, when she was disturbed by a faint knocking on her door.

She gave an exasperated sigh. "What?" she called from where she sat.

"Can I come in?"

Hermione's eyes widened as she recognized Draco's voice. She smiled at herself in the mirror. "No."

"Why not?" Draco's voice sounded astounded.

"Because," Hermione said while putting in these like oh-so-gorgeous diamond earrings, "It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding!"

There was a brief silence before Hermione heard Draco answer, "But… we're not getting married, Hermione. It's just a school dance."

Hermione's eyes widened as she looked at the white wedding dress and veil she was wearing. She stumbled for words. "We – err – I, uhh – I KNOW THAT!" she screamed and ripped the dress off of her body.

On the other side of the door Draco looked slightly taken aback as he heard bangs and yells coming from Hermione's room. He raised an eyebrow and then shrugged and walked out of the common room he shared with her and into the halls.

He made his way to the Grand Staircase, getting whistles along the way. Which makes complete sense seeing as Draco is smokin' hot and he's wearing these awesome black dress robes.

After climbing to the seventh floor and finding Gryffindor Tower he mumbled the password ("Fall Out Boy") to the fat lady. He walked into the Gryffindor common room and looked around for his favorite redhead. However, all he saw was his least favorite redhead, Ron, helping Harry secure purple butterfly clips in his hair. Though Draco did have to admit that they both looked smashing…

Draco shook the thoughts of them out of his head. "Where's Ginny?" he said as he walked up to them.

Ron stared blankly at Draco, his mouth open slightly and his eyes wide.

Harry shrugged. "Getting ready I suppose," he said and smacked his bubblegum.

Ron still stared blankly.

Draco was starting to get slightly uncomfortable so he turned and made his way to the girls' dormitories. Yes, Draco can walk up the stairs without them turning into a slide. Why? Because he's Malfoy, Draco Malfoy, that's why.

Draco walked up the stairs, opening each door as he passed and looking into the room to see if he could find Ginny. The first room contained no one. The second had two girls making out whom Draco thought he recognized vaguely as Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil. Draco shuddered slightly and continued up the stairs. The next room had a girl getting dressed who promptly screamed and threw a boot at him when he opened the door.

Finally, the fourth door he opened found Ginny sitting at a vanity and checking herself once more in the mirror. The dance was only two hours away now (keep up, gosh) and Ginny was making last minute corrections with her tiny black dress that dropped so low in the front and rode so high in the back Draco thought he would die.

Luckily, he didn't. What he did do was tackle her off of the chair onto the ground.

Ginny screamed in surprise but then laughed when she saw that it was Draco on top of her and not one of the seventh year perverts.

Yes that makes complete sense if you think of door number two.

Draco kissed her hard on the lips, but Ginny broke the kiss as she pushed him off of her.

"Does this mean you've chosen me?" So maybe she's smarter than I gave her credit for…

Draco's eyes danced around the room. Not literally. I mean, how could his eyes just pop out and dance around the room? And what sort of dance would they do, anyway? A waltz? The foxtrot?

Ahem. What I meant was that he looked around frantically for something to distract her.

"Is that dress black?" he said, looking pointedly at her body draped in the black dress.

Ginny looked down and thought for a moment. "Why yes, yes it is," she grinned.

Okay so maybe she isn't smarter than I gave her credit for.

Draco smirked and sauntered over to her.

(INSERT GRATUITOUS SNOG SCENE HERE)

Ron looked at Harry as he fixed his tie in the mirror. "You look lovely, darling."

Harry grinned. "Why thank you, love."

Ron glanced around to make sure they were alone before taking a few steps toward him.

"You know..." he said, "I thought you were very brave during that archery contest the other day." He looked down as he said this, as though making an unwelcome confession.

Harry spun around to look at Ron. "Why thank you, love."

"Really. I think the way you handled Voldemort was fantastic."

"Why thank you, love."

"Is that all you can say?"

"Why thank you love," Harry said with a look on his face that proved it was, in fact, all he could say.

"What happened?"

"Why thank you love, why thank you love. Why thank you love!" Harry explained.

Ron gasped. "He didn't!"

Harry nodded.

Ron's face grew red with anger. "Well I'll teach that jerk to harm my boyfriend!" he yelled. "I will avenge you!" he said to Harry before turning to the door and running out.

"Why thank you, love," Harry mumbled as he turned back to the mirror and continued fixing his tie.

Ron was down the staircase and to the exit of the common room when he noticed everyone in it was giggling madly and pointing at him.

"What?" he screamed. They just continued to laugh and point.

Ron looked down to survey himself and found the reason they were laughing: In his hurry to avenge Harry he had forgotten to put his pants on. His ears grew red as he ran back through the common room and up the stairs to the seventh year boys' dormitory.

Harry was standing there holding up Ron's pink dress pants with a knowing look on his face.

"Thanks," Ron muttered as he pulled on his pants and tucked in his purple shirt.

"Why thank you, love."

Ron walked up to Harry and kissed him on the cheek. "Now, I shall avenge you!" With that he made to turn to leave, but Harry grabbed him by the waist and spun him back.

"What -" Ron started but was cut off as Harry's lips met his in a forceful kiss.

(INSERT GRATUITOUS SNOG SCENE HERE)

Meanwhile, Hermione was attempting and failing to zip up her tiny skin-tight red dress in her bathroom when she heard a faint knock on the door of her bedroom.

"Yes?" she called, but got no answer.

"Hello?" Again, she got no answer.

Hermione let out a sigh of frustration and walked out of the bathroom, but stopped short when she saw Professor Snape in her room, leaning casually against the wall.

"Can I help you?" Hermione said to her professor, well aware that her dress was very small and somewhat falling off of her because she hadn't gotten it zipped.

Snape looked up at her with seductive eyes. "I believe you can."

Now, if you're thinking that this ship was so totally not in this fic before you would, of course, be totally wrong. It was there all along. Learn to read between the lines.

Oh, and yes, Snape has seductive eyes.

Hermione smiled. "And what is that?"

The professor took a few steps towards her and ran his hands down her arms. He then said something that is much too mature for you to read and pushed her onto her own bed.

(INSERT GRATUITOUS SNOG SCENE HERE)

Ron stumbled down the stairs, his hair in disarray and his clothes somewhat wrinkled and a goofy smile on his face.

"I… will… avenge you…" he muttered as he walked through the common room and out of the portrait hole.

He didn't have to walk far before he saw who he was looking for walking just ahead of him down the Grand Staircase. The sleek blonde hair gave Draco Malfoy away at once.

"Hey, Draco!" Ron yelled, anger starting to color his tone.

Draco spun around and eyed Ron skeptically. "Yes?"

"What did you do to Harry?" Ron demanded.

Draco laughed a little. "Oh just a little spell."

Ron smiled sarcastically. "Obviously. Will you take it off, please?"

Draco seemed to consider this, then shook his head. "No, I don't think I will."

"You little -" but that was all Ron could get out before Draco surprised him by shoving him into a wall and kissing him hard.

Ron broke off and gasped for air. "What are you doing?" he hissed.

Draco just smiled. "I saw how you wee looking at me earlier in the common room."

Ron looked down, embarrassed.

Draco laughed and brought his hand up under Ron's chin to pull his face up to his own again. "Don't fight it," he said.

And Ron didn't.

(INSERT GRATUITOUS SNOG SCENE HERE)

James and Lily Potter stood in the Room of Requirement. James slowly zipped up Lily's red dress that matched her hair.

"This really does look lovely on you," James said, running his hand down her shoulder.

Lily laughed. "It'd look better on you."

James looked taken aback, but then broke into a grin. "You think so? Let me try it on!"

Lily raised an eyebrow at him. "I was just kidding."

James laughed a bit of an off laugh and then said, "So was I. Of course. Pfft. I don't wear dresses…"

He coughed a bit.

Lily snorted and leaned up to peck him on the lips.

James grabbed her head to keep her there and deepened the kiss.

(INSERT GRATUITOUS SNOG SCENE HERE)

I suppose I should tell you that there is now only a half hour to the dance.

And I suppose I should also tell you what the ex Death Eaters and Voldemort are doing.

Well at this very moment Voldemort is having a nice chat with Professor Sprout about the Venomous Tentacula. He is wearing lovely dark crimson dress robes that go so well with his eyes.

(INSERT GRATUITOUS SNOG SCENE HERE)

Okay that one was totally a joke. I mean, come on! Voldemort and Professor Sprout?

… Actually…

Ahem. Right.

The ex Death Eaters are wandering around the castle, looking at all the valuables.

Crabbe and Goyle and their fathers excluded – they would be eating in the Great Hall.

Suddenly, the food disappeared from their plates – not without a groan from them – as the tables disappeared from in front of them and the benches below them. A stage appeared where the long head table used to be and a table full of food appeared at the other end of the Great Hall.

Professor McGonagall pushed open the doors to the Great Hall – a swarm of people behind her – turned to the crowd and said, "Let the dance begin!"