I am so sorry, I haven't updated in… THREE WEEKS! That sucks… Well, I hope it was worth it for you, for this is the FINAL CHAPTER! Have fun
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The vampire swooped forward towards the ever ready director. The remaining troops of both sides mutually decided it was best for everyone if they started kicking the crap out of each other at that moment. Nemmie moved to the back of the room and decided to wait for her eyesight to return. Just the mention of the ignored reviews surged through reality and reversed Integra's attempt to destroy The Sue. Ignoring problems really did make them go away when your existence alone is... surreal.
Alucard endured the silver bullets piercing his ice cold skin as he skillfully marched on in the direction of his former master. She, in turn, shrank back away in spite of herself. All of a sudden, the count swung forth and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt as she continued to shoot him in the head. After all, it was moments before the gun ran out of ammo.
"Sir Integral!" Seras dashed towards her leader desperately. Unfortunately, one of Anderson's bayonets shot out of nowhere into her shoulder and she staggered to a stop. The priest rose up behind her, blades drawn, grinning like the lunatic he is.
Integra struggled to get out of her former servant's strong grip and noticed something..odd. She stopped and gazed at him. "Your eyes are purple…"
The vampire growled menacingly. Out of the blue, a smirk rose on the director's face and she freed her right hand. Just as Alucard readied his Jackal in attempt to kill her, Integra lunged forward and grabbed at his eyes. The glasses fell to the floor as the Hellsing ripped out one of the count's eyes, flipped it around, and forced it back in its socket. Integral smiled evilly.
It was the color of blood.
Integral hit the tiled floor hard, staring at the red-clad figure in front of her. The great Alucard clutched at his bloodied eyes while shouting several unnamed obscenities.
"What have you done with my servant!" A cry rose up from the midst of the crowd. The director only smiled in response and Walter slid from his spot to stand before her.
"Alucard will never belong to you no matter what you are or do."
"Yes, he--"
Without warning, an inhuman growl sounded clear for all to hear. "What have you done to me!" The count no longer covered his face. Both his eyes were shot with fury, his purple and red one. "This was strange at first, but now it's ridiculous! Nobody can control me like that…" Alucard misted over to stand between Integra and Nemandaria, pointing a gun at each. "This will not end well for either of you…"
Although the true Hellsing of the bunch scowled in concentration, Nemmie just smiled and waved her arm around. Her angelic features glowed in the lamp-light and her perfectly done and not bloodied whatsoever hair hung around her perfect shoulders in perfect little layers. "Shoot me, servant, I dare you. Shoot us both. Let us see who survives this time." And with that, she giggled and clutched the philosopher's stone on her neck. It glowed a crimson light that began floating towards the vampire.
"Never again, human. You will never be able to take control of me, never again!" Alucard showed no hesitation in blasting the stone into countless tiny shards that spread out across all the lands for demons and humans alike to find and waste them on petty selfish desires. Sounds familiar.
"Master! Your eyes! They shine red again!" Seras jumped for joy as high as she could with a bayonet stuck in her spine. The rest of the mindless zombies in the room froze in shock.
You've done nothing! The stone was an add-on, a cheat code! I am still a Sue, and I still have powers!" Nemmie yelled from her position in the center of the office. "I still have my ungodly strength!"
Seras had a second to glance up as the hysterical Sue launched at her with an extremely large broad sword in her hand. Unfortunately, that alone did nothing to prevent that sword from running itself through her chest. Nemandaria jumped back, panting, to look upon her misdemeanor. It was very dramatic, that moment the vampirina softly fell down onto the floor with a soft thud. Some of the readers wept, and all the emos cut themselves. There was angst a-plenty.
"Seras! NNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Pip cried out, his eyes changing to normal as he sprinted towards the fallen girl and knelt by her side. "Don't die…again….I… I love you!"
"I never thought I would get a chance to say this to anybody ever again, but…"
"But what….?"
"I love you too!"
It was such a fluffy moment you could roast it on top of a campfire and stick it between two gram crackers along with some chocolate. Integral just frowned and looked away. "Isn't this a cliché… Walter?"
The butler in question nodded and with the speed of light, tied up The Sue with his wires.
"Now," said Integra. "Behind that perfect girl's face is the face of the writer. I'm sure if we expose her, everything will be back to normal. Sort of. Captain? The honors?"
"I sure hope this idea of yours, sir, will actually work this time." Muttered Seras and Integra glared at her.
As Pip clambered over to the stand angrily at Nemmie's side, Alucard pointed both his guns at her, just in case. Bernadotte determinedly approached the Sue, first locating a slit of loose skin on her neck and then peeling off her face. The dismembered skin hung from his clenched fist like a discarded and overused rag. The occupants of the room stared not at it, but at the sight that skin was covering seconds before.
The director was at a loss of words. "Nemandaria is…"
"A guy?" offered Alucard complacently.
"Uh… that can't be. There are no male Mary Sue writers on FanFiction. Or is there…?"
The face was very much male, with a grisly red beard and curly hair. His eyes stared wildly about him, taking in all the carnage and distress.
"That can't be the writer. That's Chuck Norris." Spat out Seras, still bleeding on the tiles a few feet away. Everybody gaped at the Sue with frightened expressions.
Walter flinched. "Dear lord, this is a travesty on all that is Chuck! Pull it off, oh god, pull it off!"
Pip shrugged and peeled that mask off as well. Piercing blue eyes stared back at the audience. Long blonde hair fell to her waist in a single thick plait. The face looked in her mid to late twenties, and handsome rather than beautiful. There was a rawboned harshness to her face that contrasted strongly with her deep blue eyes and generous mouth. The crew gazed at the face, bewildered. Alucard coughed quietly. "Am I out of the loop, because I have no idea who that is?"
Walter looked around him at the other occupants of the office and then at his former war partner. "Actually, I don't think any of us do."
"Bloody hell, I think I do." The true Hellsing looked upon the Sue in recognition. "But it can't be. Captain Isobel Fisher of the Haven City Guard is too tremendously awesome to be the writer."
At that moment, Fisher smiled a cold, practiced grin and Seras spent no excess time in making an out o place remark. "She should use moisturizer."
Fisher and Integral glared at her. "Captain Bernadotte, the mask…"
"Right…" The Captain started pulling off that mask and the director sighed. The mask gave way under Pip's hand and soon the true mug of the villain behind the villain revealed itself.
"OH GODS!" The soldiers broke out of their frozen trance and immediately covered their eyes, not daring to look further. Many of the occupants of the room began to screech in horrible, shrill, inhuman voices. The more important characters stepped back and reached for their weapons. The Chuck Norris mask, still in Pip's hand, looked disgusted.
"That's just not right."
The Isobel Fisher mask tried it's best to look unimpressed. "I've seen worse, back in my day."
The resident Dracula looked almost as disgusted as any of the others, even though he himself is pretty much a corpse. He took notice of the soldier's reaction and smiled proudly at his Master. The sight of her broke the curse on the men. Well done, my master…
Minerva glared around her at the havoc in the office. Her many moles glared at the world from her nose and uni-brow. The fat on her nonexistent neck rippled and traveled through her body like a tidal wave of destruction. The Sue's perfectly formed body jerked and expanding as the fat reached it, growing with lard and excess deposits. Her butt grew to four times normal and Minerva was forced to crash onto the ground into a sitting position. She was now wearing tight fitting piggy pants and a stretched-to-the-point-of-no-return sweatshirt. The cast looked down on her with sickened eyes. "I was beautiful. I had it all…" She muttered with force. "I could have had the world if it wasn't for you meddling kids and your stupid dog!"
Scooby Doo smiled and howled his trademark name. The director closed her eyes and grinned. "You don't belong here, but I think I know a place you'll feel right at home in. I know a place where you can be useful." Her grin widened and Seras rose to her feet. The wound slowly knitted itself together as the Sue's magic faded from the world along with her shapely body.
"Should I be scared now?" The kitten mewed.
Integra glanced at the plump girl on the floor. Several of the tiles under her groaned and cracked under her hippo weight. "Walter, get the crane, let's move her out of here." Walter nodded and walked out the door. "Oh, and the two annoying priests, I want them out of…" A second look around revealed the absence of the aforementioned persons. "I guess they already left. Good. The shame of being under a fan girl's control was too much, I suppose. Makes me happy I was born a girl."
Edward, in the corner, gaped at the Hellsing. "You're… female?"
Integral shut her eyes and sighed deeply. Walter had returned and she beckoned to him. "Tell them to meet me in the backyard after they have picked up this… monstrosity. Everybody else that serves no importance what's so ever, you're dismissed. But anyone who feels slightly curious, follow me to the back yard grounds." It feels good to be giving orders again. Half the soldiers piled out of the room and eventually only she, Alucard, Pip, Seras, and Minerva were left. The Elrics had said goodbye and were off as suddenly as they'd come in the first place. Finally, everything seemed to come together and back to normal. The tension and feeling of dread dissipated from the air and everyone breathed easier. Well, everyone but Minerva. She was too busy wondering what Integra had planned for her.
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Half an hour later, the crew stood in the forest in the backyard. They circled an old, rusty, feudal well. Minerva dangled above their heads, held securely in a orca net hanging from a thirty foot metal crane. She was slowly being hoisted into the darkness below ground. If the girl wasn't gagged, she would have been screaming her fat incrusted lungs out. Seras stared at the scene with a sickened feel. "This looks a bit crude, don't you think? To be left to die in a well would make anyone claustrophobic, and it seems like cruel and unusual punishment no matter the crime. Why?"
Integra looked unconcerned. "I agree this method seems unconventional, but trust me, this will be paradise to her."
"How so?" Inquired her servant.
"If I'm correct, Minerva (or what ever her name is) here will be able to transform back into the Sue once she reaches the bottom of the well. We aren't affected by her magic anymore because we figured out her powers and un masked her literally here in our world. Just like a fan fiction, the readers realize who the author is and start avoiding all there pitiful attempts to write more obscenities. Problem solved."
Walter looked unsure. "Did you say, our world? The bottom of that well doesn't lead anywhere, does it?"
The director smiled sardonically and the count next to her grinned knowingly. "You know what, I don't think I even want to know why you have this well here, Otaku."
"Too much money and nothing to do with it. But that was then, this is now. The series started to suck after the first fifteen or so episodes and around the tenth chapter of the manga. InuYasha will never know what hit him." The pair chuckled quietly together as the others stepped back a pace not wanting to join in to the companion's shared blood thirst. They let the two laugh it out together as Minerva's big nose disappeared into the darkness.
And just like that, a great evil seeped into the Far East country of Japan. And evil so great that InuYasha's great mind couldn't figure out the simple curse and he and his friends were overrun with madness, effectively ending their adventures much to the public's content. Happiness and Joy spread our because of that one great evil, and as ironic as that was, everybody seemed to accept it. InuYasha only hindered mankind's progress. That peace and togetherness lasted for many years and eventually cured world hunger, pollution, and all the wars on earth.
Somewhere in England several years after the defeat of the Sue, Integral sat in her favorite lounging chair in the library, sipping her wine. "I guess it all turned out well after all."
The shadows stirred behind her and a red clad figure rose up to full height. "Yes, I guess it has."
Fin
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For all of you who thought Isobel Fisher was an original character, and dare I say it, a Mary-Sue of mine, shame on you. Go read Blue Moon Rising or Swords of Haven by Simon R. Green or something. hint hint
Yes, that is all; maybe I'll right a sequel someday. Or a prequel. Or something. But now you see my reason for writing this story, to criticize a couple ideas. For all you who write Mary-Sues about long lost Integra relatives, or pupils of Alucard, go to fiction press or something and make an original story. Don't drag good characters under. All that does is get people mad at you. Kind of like me… Every other fic on here I see is one featuring an original character.
Well, I should probably stop ranting now, feel free to review. No, don't just feel it, do it. Remember, negative comments are accepted and loved as well; I want to know what everybody felt for my first Hellsing fiction. Maybe I'll write a serious one soon. Thanks for being such a great audience. Have fun!
Oh, wait, I almost forgot. I would like to recognize a certain reader that gave me support when I had writers block and didn't feel like writing. She gave me a reason to. There is nothing more that warms the heart than the thought of someone stalking your story and reading each new chapter once it comes out, let alone reviewing every single one. Thank You CyhScaevola, it means a lot to me.
Oh! And another one! One of my best friends, Cynthia, I'm touched as well with you. Even though you're not a fan of Hellsing, you've given me many ideas and supported this story. Thanks for all your help! Thank you for the support!
Until next time,
GryphonWonder14