A/N: I've reached 60 reviews! yep, I'm so happy! I hope you like this
chappie, I'm very worried coz some parts came out easily and some others
seem screwed or something. REVIEW.
Mozartrox05: alors, t'as tout compris dans ma "review"? He he he, je suis horrible, non ? Sorry, but it will take a long long time till Draco realises somebody cares about him...Ah, everybody wants to buy him a teddy bear! Maybe I will give him one in the story... Bisous.
Btrfly: Don't worry. If you continue to read and review my story, I'm happy! Glad you like Ginny!!!
Vaness: Hey!It's been a long time! Glad to hear about you. I know, I should send emails, but I'm too lazy! Anyway, I would like to say to everybody that I update every Sunday. Well, normally!!!!!
CarminaBurana: He he he, of course I'll continue to write this!!!! I can't get it out of my head, so...Keep reading!
Rubberduckie713: Oh, I love your nickname!!!! Reminds me of a certain scene when Percy has got his hair all wild and funny. He he he, I laughed my head off at him! YEAH! Another insane one! I already like you. I really hope you will continue to read my story! I like to use a lot of povs, coz it makes the story livelier. And I can twist it really like I want! Hope you like that chappie.
Miriam G: Ta da.next chappie here!!! I still can't believe you forgot your test. It's so funny! That's exactly the sort of things that I would do...*sheepish smile*
Luscious Kinney: Whoa, another new reviewer!!!! Thanx thanx thanx! Yep, he's become human! He he he, I hope you have your tissue box ready for this chappie.
Fire'N'Ice: OMG, I printed the reviews to be able to reply without having to change windows and all, and yours takes one page and a half!!!!! You're officially the Goddess of the reviews, coz our dear Elven ice angel didn't review the chappie! Thanks for your *constructive* line by line comments.I see you really like my line about quidditch, as you keep using it over and over again! He he he...As you also want him to have a teddy bear, I think I'm gonna give him one!!! Later in the story...He he he. Yep, of course I had to use The Position!!!! And curling up in this chappie!!! Muahahaha, I know how to affect you!!!! Yep, soz about the Alice in Wonderland thing, but it was haunting me and I thought I would just share it with you.that's what friends are made for!!! I hope you'll cry a lot...Muahahaha! Ok, now, I want you to send me the next Anya chappie, please. I deserve it, with the effort I made to read the traitor one. (just printed chappie two, don't want to read it...) argh.only 10 pm.two hours till DA...How am I gonna live??? Say hi to your lil voices, mine has come back from Alec's mind, but is too shaken to speak right now, muahahaha.
He he he, really sorry about those long replies, but it's me, I can't help rambling... ok, now, that damn disclaimer...
I don't own HP blah blah blah, blah blah, blah. Pretty short, wasn't it???
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Chapter 9:
*Hannah's POV*
I didn't think my after death would be so difficult. It's horrible to watch Draco mutilate himself as he does every morning. It's tearing me apart to leave him alone with his pain. But I know that the only thing he holds to is seeing me again. That's why I can't let him know that I'm with him most of the time.
I would so much like to hug him and let him cry on my shoulder. Give him warmth.
No, I'm a ghost. I can't touch him, and I'm not warm. My "body" is like ice for someone alive. All I can do is make me invisible and follow him around. I'm so frightened he might attempt suicide again.
However, this morning was different. Ron Weasley's sister found him. Ginny, I think her name is. She knows a great deal, although I don't know how she found out. What I don't understand is this nonsense about Draco's mother. Ginny mentioned a letter, but I don't know what the content is. I never go into the great hall, it's too crowded. And I don't want to see my old house again. Watch them chatting and smiling during the whole breakfast. It would break me to see how they can live without me.
I want to talk to the Weasley girl, but I'm scared she might run away when she knows what happened to me. I'm scared she doesn't want to help Draco and that what she said this morning was true, that it was just a question of conscience for her.
........................
*Molly's POV*
I have Ginny's class now, and I can't help staring at her, trying to decipher the expression on her face. She is different this morning, she just stays still on her chair while the others are writing down all that I can say. I can't take it anymore, so I just ask her.
"Ginny, do you have a good reason not to write all this down?"
My daughter looks up at me, frightened. It's been a long time since she looked at me with that expression. I believe she tries to hide something under the table, but what is it?
"Ginny, put your hands on your desk, now."
She slowly lays her hands on the table. Her left hand is all bloodied. She's cut her palm very deeply, and the gash crosses all the surface of her palm. My eyes widen in horror.
"What is this? Why didn't you go to Mrs Pomfrey, why didn't you at least bandage it with your handkerchief or something? Damn, Ginny, it's dangerous to leave this wound like that!"
The whole class has turn on their seats to watch the scene. I breathe hard. I now I shouldn't have yelled at her, but honestly, why did she try to hide it? The bell rings at this moment, so I dismiss the class and grab my daughter by the arm. Now, to the hospital wing!
.......................
*Ginny's POV*
Mum is irate and I feel stupid. It's just a gash, I could have lied and said I had cut myself at breakfast or something, accidentally. I know the next hour will be terrific. Full interrogation, I expect.
Mrs Pomfrey has bandaged my arm but that's all she could do. She says that the blade which dug in my palm was magic. This means my wound can't be healed by magic. Dark Arts, she says..... And so, I'm in big trouble, because mum is not going to leave me alone! And I don't want to tell her what happened this morning.
"Ginny, Mrs Pomfrey says it's a magic blade. Can you explain that to me?"
"No."
She knows I lie, because I can't look at her in the eye.
"Ginny, if you don't tell me what happened, I feed you with Veritaserum!"
Oh oh.What do I do??? Veritaserum is quite painful, and I could just spill everything. After all, she is my mum. The person that loves me and would never judge me like that.
"I tried to snatch Draco's knife."
"Care to elaborate?"
Ok, Ginny, time to take a great deep breath...
"Ahem. I'm not sure you want to know." I finally whisper.
....................
*Draco's POV*
Tomorrow, the first quidditch match of the season is played. It's Ravenclaw against Hufflepuff. Even if I don't play, there's a knot in my stomach. Father will be there. He always is, to all matches. I'm scared to death, I don't know how to avoid him. I haven't seen him since my leaving for Hogwarts. I wasn't allowed to go home for Mother's funeral, Father forbade it.
Once again, I'm hidden in the alchemy section. The blood I spilled on the floor a few days ago has disappeared and the green carpet is as clean as ever, forgetful of what happened a few days ago. That's how will be the world after my death. Nobody will remember me, nor regret me.
I hear soft steps coming toward the section. Damn, that is really the last thing I want! Can't they leave me alone?
"Hey Drakie!!!!"
Ok, my nightmare is complete. Pansy. What do I do? Do I kill myself now or in three seconds?
"Pansy. In the library? What a surprise!" my tone is cynical, but how would she understand that subtle emotion?
"I know! I have some assignment on Nicholas Fla-whatsit to do, and I took hours to find the right section!"
I don't even answer. How is it possible for somebody to be that thick? I stare at the lake trough the dirty window. It's calm and smooth like a mirror. I hate mirrors. They only reflect what is on the outside, what is superficial. Like Pansy.
She is really getting on my nerves, so I leave the library and head for the dungeons. Like always, I find the darkest corner and sit curled up on the floor, rocking back and forth. I want to take that bloody knife out, but something refrains me. I don't need to cut right now, so I just sit and think. I think too much. I wish I couldn't think at all, it would help a great deal. Maybe I should exchange my brain with Crabbe.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Next morning, at dawn*
"Wake up, little moron."
The voice whispers the words, but I know who pronounces them. I know Lucius is staring at me, even glaring at me. I keep my eyes close, but a sharp slap comes across my face. Father pulls me to the floor and out of the dorm. I manage to get up and try to escape, but he grabs my arm and spins me around. Pain shoots through my arm. His hand has closed on my cuts and holds me tightly.
He drags me along in the dark halls, and I can hear nothing but the echo of our footsteps. He finally throws me in a classroom. I recognize it as Snape's. I've landed hard on the stone floor and it takes me too long to react and get up. A harsh kick lands in my stomach. I can't breathe anymore, I cough.
Lucius doesn't speak to me, he just keeps kicking again and again. I'm surprised he hasn't used his cane or a spell till now, but it might come soon. His foot once again crashes in my stomach. This time, I sense the blood filling my mouth and cough it on the floor. I see him smile in the half-light. I wish I black out, but it never happens, I'm of quite strong constitution.
He's finally decided to use his damn cane. It tears up my back. I'm so hurt. I curl up in a corner, burying my head in my arms, trying to block the lashes and the pain. Tears are prickling my eyes. I have cried frequently lately and I'm not able to hold them back like in the past. I sense them wetting my cheeks and rolling in my neck. I sob now.
I so wish everything ends soon. I nearly beg him to kill me. I want to die, I can't take that pain anymore. I know he won't stop till I scream, and I have an internal battle to know if I give up and give him what he wants or if I hold all back and wait for him to finish me off.
And I scream.
....................
*Snape's POV*
Damn, what is this?
I'm sitting in my bed, all sweaty and breathing hard. I've heard a distant sound but I don't know what it was. Like a yell or something. Oh well, it might have been in my head. But then, why do I feel so weird?
Oh yes, Lucius is coming today. I dread these meetings. I dread all my meetings with Death Eaters and Voldemort. I'm a spy, and it's a really heavy burden. I expect all my words and moves to betray me, and I can't help being nervous. I really wish Lucius doesn't come today, but I know he would never miss a quidditch match. I don't know what he likes in quidditch. Maybe he still waits for bloodshed.
....................
*Draco's POV* (you really thought I would leave him with Lucius till next chappie?)
Father has left. He hasn't used Cruciatus on me and I thank God and Merlin for that. I don't know why I thank God, I'm not sure some wizards are even Christians, but still. I've made it through. I feel do relieved, but so numb. I can't move anymore, and there's much blood on the floor, flowing between the paving stones.
I think I'm going to black out. How ironic; it is only now that all is finished that my body allows me to switch off....
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Ok, I believe I don't have the need to introduce Fire'N'Ice again!!! These are again her lil random comments.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Deep breaths, deep breaths, inhale, exhale... omg!!!! *tears flow* Draco!!!!!!!!! Damn you Lucius, damn you and your freaking cane! My mouth hung open this whole chapter and strangled screams came out when Draco was being beaten. Lucius is SO lucky he's a fictional character or I swear I'd forget I'm civilized for a bit! What an ASSHOLE! Okay, I had to get that all out. Of course, this was amazing!!! Do you see all the emotion you pulled out of me? Just wait until the review, line by line you will see the pain you have inflicted on me!!! Argh, damn your writing skills, why do they have to be good enough for me to cry? I wanted to jump in there in front of our Dragon and... I'm not sure what since I'm not magic and I'm pretty sure Lucius is quite a bit bigger than me, but I'd think of something!!! Okay, I'm off to send this back to you, answer the email and then pre-write my review... which is going to be VERY long and full of tears. Magnificent chapter!!!
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OK, now, if you have 30 seconds, you are obliged to REVIEW!!!! Come on, it's not that difficult to say what you think!!!
Mozartrox05: alors, t'as tout compris dans ma "review"? He he he, je suis horrible, non ? Sorry, but it will take a long long time till Draco realises somebody cares about him...Ah, everybody wants to buy him a teddy bear! Maybe I will give him one in the story... Bisous.
Btrfly: Don't worry. If you continue to read and review my story, I'm happy! Glad you like Ginny!!!
Vaness: Hey!It's been a long time! Glad to hear about you. I know, I should send emails, but I'm too lazy! Anyway, I would like to say to everybody that I update every Sunday. Well, normally!!!!!
CarminaBurana: He he he, of course I'll continue to write this!!!! I can't get it out of my head, so...Keep reading!
Rubberduckie713: Oh, I love your nickname!!!! Reminds me of a certain scene when Percy has got his hair all wild and funny. He he he, I laughed my head off at him! YEAH! Another insane one! I already like you. I really hope you will continue to read my story! I like to use a lot of povs, coz it makes the story livelier. And I can twist it really like I want! Hope you like that chappie.
Miriam G: Ta da.next chappie here!!! I still can't believe you forgot your test. It's so funny! That's exactly the sort of things that I would do...*sheepish smile*
Luscious Kinney: Whoa, another new reviewer!!!! Thanx thanx thanx! Yep, he's become human! He he he, I hope you have your tissue box ready for this chappie.
Fire'N'Ice: OMG, I printed the reviews to be able to reply without having to change windows and all, and yours takes one page and a half!!!!! You're officially the Goddess of the reviews, coz our dear Elven ice angel didn't review the chappie! Thanks for your *constructive* line by line comments.I see you really like my line about quidditch, as you keep using it over and over again! He he he...As you also want him to have a teddy bear, I think I'm gonna give him one!!! Later in the story...He he he. Yep, of course I had to use The Position!!!! And curling up in this chappie!!! Muahahaha, I know how to affect you!!!! Yep, soz about the Alice in Wonderland thing, but it was haunting me and I thought I would just share it with you.that's what friends are made for!!! I hope you'll cry a lot...Muahahaha! Ok, now, I want you to send me the next Anya chappie, please. I deserve it, with the effort I made to read the traitor one. (just printed chappie two, don't want to read it...) argh.only 10 pm.two hours till DA...How am I gonna live??? Say hi to your lil voices, mine has come back from Alec's mind, but is too shaken to speak right now, muahahaha.
He he he, really sorry about those long replies, but it's me, I can't help rambling... ok, now, that damn disclaimer...
I don't own HP blah blah blah, blah blah, blah. Pretty short, wasn't it???
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Chapter 9:
*Hannah's POV*
I didn't think my after death would be so difficult. It's horrible to watch Draco mutilate himself as he does every morning. It's tearing me apart to leave him alone with his pain. But I know that the only thing he holds to is seeing me again. That's why I can't let him know that I'm with him most of the time.
I would so much like to hug him and let him cry on my shoulder. Give him warmth.
No, I'm a ghost. I can't touch him, and I'm not warm. My "body" is like ice for someone alive. All I can do is make me invisible and follow him around. I'm so frightened he might attempt suicide again.
However, this morning was different. Ron Weasley's sister found him. Ginny, I think her name is. She knows a great deal, although I don't know how she found out. What I don't understand is this nonsense about Draco's mother. Ginny mentioned a letter, but I don't know what the content is. I never go into the great hall, it's too crowded. And I don't want to see my old house again. Watch them chatting and smiling during the whole breakfast. It would break me to see how they can live without me.
I want to talk to the Weasley girl, but I'm scared she might run away when she knows what happened to me. I'm scared she doesn't want to help Draco and that what she said this morning was true, that it was just a question of conscience for her.
........................
*Molly's POV*
I have Ginny's class now, and I can't help staring at her, trying to decipher the expression on her face. She is different this morning, she just stays still on her chair while the others are writing down all that I can say. I can't take it anymore, so I just ask her.
"Ginny, do you have a good reason not to write all this down?"
My daughter looks up at me, frightened. It's been a long time since she looked at me with that expression. I believe she tries to hide something under the table, but what is it?
"Ginny, put your hands on your desk, now."
She slowly lays her hands on the table. Her left hand is all bloodied. She's cut her palm very deeply, and the gash crosses all the surface of her palm. My eyes widen in horror.
"What is this? Why didn't you go to Mrs Pomfrey, why didn't you at least bandage it with your handkerchief or something? Damn, Ginny, it's dangerous to leave this wound like that!"
The whole class has turn on their seats to watch the scene. I breathe hard. I now I shouldn't have yelled at her, but honestly, why did she try to hide it? The bell rings at this moment, so I dismiss the class and grab my daughter by the arm. Now, to the hospital wing!
.......................
*Ginny's POV*
Mum is irate and I feel stupid. It's just a gash, I could have lied and said I had cut myself at breakfast or something, accidentally. I know the next hour will be terrific. Full interrogation, I expect.
Mrs Pomfrey has bandaged my arm but that's all she could do. She says that the blade which dug in my palm was magic. This means my wound can't be healed by magic. Dark Arts, she says..... And so, I'm in big trouble, because mum is not going to leave me alone! And I don't want to tell her what happened this morning.
"Ginny, Mrs Pomfrey says it's a magic blade. Can you explain that to me?"
"No."
She knows I lie, because I can't look at her in the eye.
"Ginny, if you don't tell me what happened, I feed you with Veritaserum!"
Oh oh.What do I do??? Veritaserum is quite painful, and I could just spill everything. After all, she is my mum. The person that loves me and would never judge me like that.
"I tried to snatch Draco's knife."
"Care to elaborate?"
Ok, Ginny, time to take a great deep breath...
"Ahem. I'm not sure you want to know." I finally whisper.
....................
*Draco's POV*
Tomorrow, the first quidditch match of the season is played. It's Ravenclaw against Hufflepuff. Even if I don't play, there's a knot in my stomach. Father will be there. He always is, to all matches. I'm scared to death, I don't know how to avoid him. I haven't seen him since my leaving for Hogwarts. I wasn't allowed to go home for Mother's funeral, Father forbade it.
Once again, I'm hidden in the alchemy section. The blood I spilled on the floor a few days ago has disappeared and the green carpet is as clean as ever, forgetful of what happened a few days ago. That's how will be the world after my death. Nobody will remember me, nor regret me.
I hear soft steps coming toward the section. Damn, that is really the last thing I want! Can't they leave me alone?
"Hey Drakie!!!!"
Ok, my nightmare is complete. Pansy. What do I do? Do I kill myself now or in three seconds?
"Pansy. In the library? What a surprise!" my tone is cynical, but how would she understand that subtle emotion?
"I know! I have some assignment on Nicholas Fla-whatsit to do, and I took hours to find the right section!"
I don't even answer. How is it possible for somebody to be that thick? I stare at the lake trough the dirty window. It's calm and smooth like a mirror. I hate mirrors. They only reflect what is on the outside, what is superficial. Like Pansy.
She is really getting on my nerves, so I leave the library and head for the dungeons. Like always, I find the darkest corner and sit curled up on the floor, rocking back and forth. I want to take that bloody knife out, but something refrains me. I don't need to cut right now, so I just sit and think. I think too much. I wish I couldn't think at all, it would help a great deal. Maybe I should exchange my brain with Crabbe.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Next morning, at dawn*
"Wake up, little moron."
The voice whispers the words, but I know who pronounces them. I know Lucius is staring at me, even glaring at me. I keep my eyes close, but a sharp slap comes across my face. Father pulls me to the floor and out of the dorm. I manage to get up and try to escape, but he grabs my arm and spins me around. Pain shoots through my arm. His hand has closed on my cuts and holds me tightly.
He drags me along in the dark halls, and I can hear nothing but the echo of our footsteps. He finally throws me in a classroom. I recognize it as Snape's. I've landed hard on the stone floor and it takes me too long to react and get up. A harsh kick lands in my stomach. I can't breathe anymore, I cough.
Lucius doesn't speak to me, he just keeps kicking again and again. I'm surprised he hasn't used his cane or a spell till now, but it might come soon. His foot once again crashes in my stomach. This time, I sense the blood filling my mouth and cough it on the floor. I see him smile in the half-light. I wish I black out, but it never happens, I'm of quite strong constitution.
He's finally decided to use his damn cane. It tears up my back. I'm so hurt. I curl up in a corner, burying my head in my arms, trying to block the lashes and the pain. Tears are prickling my eyes. I have cried frequently lately and I'm not able to hold them back like in the past. I sense them wetting my cheeks and rolling in my neck. I sob now.
I so wish everything ends soon. I nearly beg him to kill me. I want to die, I can't take that pain anymore. I know he won't stop till I scream, and I have an internal battle to know if I give up and give him what he wants or if I hold all back and wait for him to finish me off.
And I scream.
....................
*Snape's POV*
Damn, what is this?
I'm sitting in my bed, all sweaty and breathing hard. I've heard a distant sound but I don't know what it was. Like a yell or something. Oh well, it might have been in my head. But then, why do I feel so weird?
Oh yes, Lucius is coming today. I dread these meetings. I dread all my meetings with Death Eaters and Voldemort. I'm a spy, and it's a really heavy burden. I expect all my words and moves to betray me, and I can't help being nervous. I really wish Lucius doesn't come today, but I know he would never miss a quidditch match. I don't know what he likes in quidditch. Maybe he still waits for bloodshed.
....................
*Draco's POV* (you really thought I would leave him with Lucius till next chappie?)
Father has left. He hasn't used Cruciatus on me and I thank God and Merlin for that. I don't know why I thank God, I'm not sure some wizards are even Christians, but still. I've made it through. I feel do relieved, but so numb. I can't move anymore, and there's much blood on the floor, flowing between the paving stones.
I think I'm going to black out. How ironic; it is only now that all is finished that my body allows me to switch off....
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Ok, I believe I don't have the need to introduce Fire'N'Ice again!!! These are again her lil random comments.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Deep breaths, deep breaths, inhale, exhale... omg!!!! *tears flow* Draco!!!!!!!!! Damn you Lucius, damn you and your freaking cane! My mouth hung open this whole chapter and strangled screams came out when Draco was being beaten. Lucius is SO lucky he's a fictional character or I swear I'd forget I'm civilized for a bit! What an ASSHOLE! Okay, I had to get that all out. Of course, this was amazing!!! Do you see all the emotion you pulled out of me? Just wait until the review, line by line you will see the pain you have inflicted on me!!! Argh, damn your writing skills, why do they have to be good enough for me to cry? I wanted to jump in there in front of our Dragon and... I'm not sure what since I'm not magic and I'm pretty sure Lucius is quite a bit bigger than me, but I'd think of something!!! Okay, I'm off to send this back to you, answer the email and then pre-write my review... which is going to be VERY long and full of tears. Magnificent chapter!!!
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
OK, now, if you have 30 seconds, you are obliged to REVIEW!!!! Come on, it's not that difficult to say what you think!!!