A/N : Hello everybody ! Sorry about the delay, but I've been really busy
lately. I still work in this stupid grocery (last week of torture starts
tomorrow) and then, I had to plan the scouts meetings, then I went to the
cinema (I know, not the best excuse) and worse of it all... I was BANNED
from the home computer!!!!! Which means I had to run to university each
time to get on the computer, but the damn building closes at 7 pm everyday,
and it's a mess... Anyway here is chapter 15, I hope you like it, it took
me forever to write some parts, but well, I think it's not that lame, deal
with me!!! Thanks for the bunch of reviews I've received!!!! You guys
rock!!!!
Precious Passion: Hello!!!!! What? You spent all day reading that? You've got to be kidding! Thanks! I'm glad I'm an author and that people read my story, talented or not. But I'm also very happy you say so! He he he... I write many other stories! I just don't post them yet! I've another HP story, a Gilmore Girls story, some Dark Angel shots, a HP story in project with my beta, some original stories blah blah blah! I hope you continue to read this! And that you enjoy my long chappie! I think it's the longer I've ever written in this fic.
Kismet2: I update, I update... Don't worry! I know I wasn't very present this summer (not that you care) but I promise that since October, I'll update more often!
Kaly: well, I loved your review. It made me smile. Thanks and welcome to my insane little world! I promise I'll do an email list (I see you're an anonymous reviewer)
Rubberduckie713: I hope it was the best chappie ever for you! I wrote it especially FOR YOU!!!! Hope you feel special... I think you should write your stories, even if you think your ideas are overused. Don't you think that Draco being abused and a cutter is overused? That the D/G pairing is very creative? My ideas are as overused as yours, I just try to add little things that make it special, like Hannah, or Arthur, or characters like Blaise. Write your stories, I beg you!!!!!
Miriam G: I'm no cheater! *Stick out tongue at you* Pasting it in Word was TOTALLY fair and legal! Nah! Well, I understand better why you're hated on this message board, but I guess they're just morons... they've got a real good level of conversation. People can be sooooo dense. I'm glad you gave the long version!!!!! Never try to give me the short version of anything, you hear me? You Upa song is just gonna be the summer's best song. You know, beaches full of people dancing and singing it, you, celebrity, shaking hands with.huh. let's say Britney... muahahahahaaha... Voldemort is there!!!!! I wrote his pov just fro you! And I just comment the fact that I haven't made him a moron!!!! Have fun!
Slothcrzy4dm: OMG... are you actually saying that I'm the first one who receives a review from you????? Cool!!!!! I hope you continue to read this! You say that to a stranger coz... I'll email you about that, if you don't mind. You discover in this chappie what Ginny saw in the pensieve. And Don't worry, I'm gonna continue!!!!!! It'll be a very very long story, coz I don't want to end it at all! Yeah, it's a bit like Draco and Ron had switch beliefs, it's pretty scary... You tend to ramble????? I LOVE YOU ALREADY!!!!! I'm a rambler too! My reviews can reach 3000 words, and it's pretty scary that my replies are soooo long. One day, they'll be longer than my chappie....
Shortnsassy: what? You don't know what colour your review button is? Mine is orange... or purple, with shades of red... Ahem, yeah, no comment! My writing is... amazing? Gee, you have to tell that to my English writing teacher! I've always only just sufficient marks. As for Arthur, it's only coz it's my teddy's name, but well, let's say it's coz her dad gave her the teddy and decided to name it after him, for the honors.
Twisted faith: *Breathe again* Amen, there's not too much fluff! That was one of my biggest fear! Draco is just not made for fluff and I'm always scared I might fall in that. Many many more chappies, I promise! I don't want to end this story, so you have time!
Ebony rose 1: hello again! I see I'm not the only one not to like Pansy. she's so stupid, it's unbelievable. I'm gonna do this emailing list today, normally. Depends if my mum kicks me out of the computer place...
Carshaa: glad you liked the chappie, hope you like this one too. I'm not normal. No scout is! Well, not in my group at least! All the other groups of the region were always treating us differently coz we're a Christian group, and once, we made a big camp with them and they were just awestruck at how insane we were. We're the worst one, havoc and mess everywhere... muahahahaha... Harry is nice. He was just a bit taken aback by the whole thing, but he's nice. I simply can't make him act evilly. Even Ron is different in this chappie. Well, still moronic, but Molly understands his true motives, even if he doesn't use the right ways... insane reviewer? Why do I always attract insane people? *sigh* well, hope you don't hate me too much for not having updated before! *sheepish smile*
Alexandria2: Me, empress of the smileys... sounds good.... ahem, yeah... no comment... Well, I hope I make you cry in this chappie, but it's not the most emotional... have a nice reading!
Disclaimer: *mute* ::nudged by lawyer:: *pout* :: glared at:: *sigh* Ok, I give up.... I don't own HP, blah blah blah... *pout*
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::
Chapter 15 :
*Voldemort's pov*
I'm surrounded by morons.
Malfoy is in front of me, all quivering and stuttering while he pathetically tries to explain me the situation with his son.
At least, the boy is more clever than the father. Hopefully for himself, Malfoy is useful. His stupidity often makes me want to kill him. Well, he follows my orders like a puppet dog, it can help.
The young Malfoy is another matter. He's smart. And he knows way too much about me. I can't afford to let him go, he would be a great asset for us, and dangerous, very dangerous, if he chose the other side.
I could kill him. It would be simpler. The threat would be erased. But he will be more useful to me alive. If I can make him follow me, he would become my heir. The one to continue my task when I'm gone. Because no one is immortal. And if my task dies with me, all this is in vain.
Malfoy is done with his lame explanation. I stare at him, he squirms under my gaze. It's distressing. I'm sure he's ready to lick my shoes if I asked him. A slave, a tool. He thinks he's got power and ambition. But his power is depending on mine. As for his ambition, it's nonexistent or nearly. His goal is to be the best Death Eater. Quite the easy way.
Draco Malfoy has chosen the hard path. The way that will make him fight all his life. For his freedom, his conscience, his individuality. Fight for his convictions.
This path will make him so much stronger than his father; than all my servants.
I think the most comical is Malfoy's responsibility in this. After all, he's the one who brought him up. Probably torture is not the best way to raise children.
The boy is my new prey. I want him. I'll get him. He's priceless. The plan is already forming in my head, nobody will be able to save him. I don't think anybody would care if he disappeared.
I'm still glaring at Lucius and the man is on the edge of breaking down. Weak. I finally decide to put an end to his torture.
"Just manage to have him home for the next holidays. Leave now."
"Yes Master," he replies while bowing. Pathetic.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
*Ginny's pov*
I've been trying to sleep for hours, but it simply doesn't seem to work. The memory is turning inside my head and I can't get it out. Even if I haven't spoken with Draco about it, I know I saw what happened when Hannah was killed.
I've still some difficulty to admit that what I saw actually happened. It's worse than a nightmare, and it's reality. I don't understand how a human being (well, technically at least) can act the way Lucius Malfoy acts. What makes Humans act so wickedly? Even if Lucius is a Death Eater, he could love at least his family. But no, he destroyed it. He destroyed his wife, and now, he tries to bring his son down. Some people just don't deserve to live, and Draco's father belongs to this category.
The sheets are all wrapped around me, I'm hot and sweaty. I need to get up, take a cool shower, go for a walk to clam me, but my brain doesn't want to work with my body.
Lucius' manic laughter plagues me. The image of Hannah's and the other girl's execution makes me want to throw up. Seeing Draco, first beaten, kicked, whipped, then crucioed, to be left helpless on the ground hurts me so much I want to scream at the top of my lungs.
His father took everything from him. He tried to empty his soul. I want to give it all back to him. I want happiness to invade him.
Pictures flow again through my mind. Draco's suffering whirls inside my stomach.
It stabs me. He'll never be happy. He'll always be haunted by his past. I know memories can be strong. They just don't vanish, you can't sink into oblivion with a flick of your wand. Darkness will be part of him forever. How could I have been so blind? He's not going to change into somebody bright, laughing, blissful. Myself, I'm not bright. Tom's presence is still lingering down in my core. He's part of me now. As he's part of Harry. You can't escape what you are.
Experiences build our personalities. The Chamber of Secrets left a dark cloud surrounding me. Lucius' left scars on Draco.
I knew that approaching Draco would mean being hurt. But I never expected that. Such pain to be shared.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
*Hannah's pov*
I'm happy Ginny found Draco. As usual, I saw everything. I always do.
I saw Ginny tell him how much she cared, I saw them chat and laugh together, ally against this stupid Parkinson girl. I'm so happy for them, and so sad for myself at the same time.
He doesn't need me anymore. The realisation hits me right in the face. He has Ginny now, and me, I'm a worthless little ghost. I'm dead. I can't really help him. I can't even snatch his knife when I want. My only weapon is words. And he's so stubborn.
I sigh loudly and I'm so deep in my thoughts that I don't hear Myrtle pop next to me. When I finally acknowledge her presence, she sighs heavily and rolls her eyes. I know it's her way for saying she wants to complain and wants attention.
"What?"
She looks ahead and sighs again.
"Harry hasn't come to see me in ages."
I really want to bang my head on something, but I only go through it, and it annoys me deeply. Myrtle is sweet and really nice when she wants, and when she's not moaning. But honestly, this evening, I don't want to listen about her little problems and her infatuation with Harry Potter. She understands quickly that something is wrong with me.
"Something annoys you?" She is again my nice friend. It's funny how she can switch modes.
"I feel useless. I had an aim for my ghostly life, but it has been reached, so now.... What can I do?"
"I understand. My aim was to annoy Olive, but when she left Hogwarts, I had nothing else to do. It took my quite a long time to figure out something that would pass the time."
"And apart from drooling over Harry, this includes?"
She turns to me with a mischievous grin.
"Pranks."
"Pranks?" I'm dumbfounded. But what pranks? And on who? I've never seen any of her pranks. And how can she pull them? Damn, she's a ghost, she can't grab material and...
"Yeah, I plan Peeves' pranks. He's the most stupid poltergeist I've ever seen. He's incapable of imagining a single prank. Do you join?"
I never was the prankster type. I was always well behaved and such. But what have I to lose now? I grin evilly and Myrtle screams in delight.
I guess I've found a new occupation and smile as a certain magenta duck pops in my head.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
*Ron's pov*
I'm waiting in Mum's office. It's early in the morning and I had to get up earlier just because she wants to speak to me. Somehow, I know what the topic will be and it annoys me more than everything, including detention with Snape. I don't want to speak about them. I want to erase them from my memory, from my life.
"Good morning Ron!" she says in her cheery voice. I hate when she uses that tone. We both know we're here to sort things out and that we're eventually going to yell at each other. Her voice is false.
I mutter a quick morning as she sits in front of the fire. When she speaks again, the false cheery tone has been dropped. I guess we come directly to the problem.
"What's with you, Ron?"
With me? Is she talking about ME? I can't believe it. I again take all the blame. Me. Hasn't Ginny a part of responsibility? She's the one who's bringing shame on us!
"You'd better ask your daughter this question," I drawl cynically.
"She's you sister, she-"
"No she isn't!" I cut sharply.
"You can't disown her for having friends," she replies, shaking her head and sighing.
"Friends? But what friends? Everybody thinks like me! She has no friend anymore. And why is that? Because of HIM!"
I spit out the last word. Never my hatred toward him overwhelmed me as it does now. He corrupted my sister, and he uses her. I'm sure of that, he wouldn't want her as a friend only. She's lower than him in his mind.
"Why do you care? It's her choice."
"And if it isn't? If he possesses her or something?"
I see a grin spread on her face and it only makes me angrier.
"So in fact, you're more worried than angry, right? You're way too protective, Ron."
"I hate him, ok? And when I say hate, it's not an understatement. In fact, the word is even too weak. Damn, every time I see him, I just want to smash his head against a wall and kick him till he's dying on the ground."
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
*Molly's pov*
Ron's eyes are glinting with anger and hatred. He's serious and that scares me to death. As his words sink, all I can see his Draco in my mind. How horrible I felt when I bumped into Severus carrying him. How fear buried me.
"Don't say such things, Ron. You know you don't mean them," I reply dryly.
"Oh no, I do mean them. He deserves it."
"No, he doesn't. Nobody does, and especially him. You don't know him; you should give him a chance."
"I already know him too much for my sake, thank you. And stop standing for him. After what his father has done to Ginny, after all the insults his family threw in our faces, you can't do such a thing."
"I can and I will. You can't judge him on his father's actions or on his family." Ron is really getting on my nerves. I hope desperately that he gets out of the dense mode, but he seems to like his attitude now. He's so sure he's right.
"Then let's judge him!" He's shouting now. "He's an arrogant prat, he's spoiled, rotten to the core. Supremacist ,stupid, wicked. The list could go on for hours and hours!"
"You're right, that's the way he was brought up. That's how his father wants him to be. But maybe that's not how HE wants to be!" I try to remain clam, but my voice still has raised.
"Then he should have rebelled. He should have stood for himself instead of playing the game!"
"There are people you can't just stand against! I wonder what you would have become in his place!" I'm yelling too.
"I wouldn't be like him!"
"That's what you think." My voice is again calm, and cold.
Ron gets up suddenly, red with anger, and slams the door behind him.
I close my eyes and breathe a good deal as I'm leaning back in my chair.
That was brilliant. I'm bitter.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
*Ginny's pov*
I spot Draco sitting in the cherry tree and I climb to sit with him. He looks exhausted and sad and is rubbing his arm against the trunk. I can see it's already red with burning.
"What's the matter?" I say, frowning.
He doesn't want to look at me and just fix his gaze on his arm while still rubbing it against the tree.
"Give me my knife back."
"No." I shake my head. I don't want him to cut himself again. He could find another knife or anything else to do it, but he seems attached to that specific tool. And he wants it back. No way.
"I need it, please?" He's pleading me. Whispering softly. He's begging me. To give him back something he uses to hurt himself. I feel bad.
"You don't need it, so don't even think of it!" My tone is firm. He has to understand how bad it is. How wrong it is.
"You don't understand," he simply states, scratching his arm again. I don't stop him, I don't exactly understand why.
"Explain it to me then."
Maybe if he doesn't come out with good reasons, he'll see how wrong he is. He hesitates. I assume he doesn't think he can share this with me. I press him to tell me. To let me know why I should let my friend be hurt like this. Draco finally starts to speak, still not looking at me. His voice is unsteady has he delivers his confession. It's breaking and sometimes a bit quivering. He's not sure I'm going to listen and understand, he's worried I will let him down because he's vulnerable.
"It's a release. It's the only I've found to deal with what is bottling up inside me. Nobody ever taught me other ways. My parents never asked me how I felt and I never shared it with anyone. And I need it to know that I'm alive. Everybody always considered me like an ice prince. I'm not that. I'm flesh and blood. I live. I'm not some statue, cold and with no heart. The burning of the forming wound tells me I've got flesh, and nerves. That I can feel. The crimson dripping from the wounds tells me I've got blood running inside my veins. And most of all, the physical pain makes me forget about the emotional one. My father always uses words before his feet, cane, or spells. And words hurt more than everything. "You're useless Draco, worthless. You're my biggest shame. You're not enough. You'll never be enough, whatever you can do." The beating that comes right after that makes me forget the words for a while. And physical wounds hurt, then heal, and the pain doesn't exist anymore. The words... they stab me, they rip me apart. The pain will be there forever. You won't prevent me from cutting again. You can't, it's part of me. People smoke or take drugs or alcohol to cope with their lives. I cut. And I'm going to continue. You can't stop me, so please, I beg you, don't make arguments about that become something that hurts too."
I sit motionless. The silence surrounds us when he's finished. It's a heavy and condemning silence. What am I supposed to do, to say? He's right of course, I'm not going to stop him.
I slowly retrieve the knife from my pocket where I had hastily shoved it before. The shiny blade mocks me. I've lost the battle against it again. I hate it.
I give him back the knife. The second I've done it, I feel a pang of guilt. I had forgotten the wounds the blade inflicts can't be healed by magic. That's why Draco wanted it so badly. To prevent people from making the pain vanish.
I watch him play with the blade in his palm. I know he wants to do it right now but waits for my sake. I leave, there's nothing I can do. I try to grin at him before going, I see his silver eyes saying thanks, but I still feel bad. When I turn my back and head for the castle, I know what he's doing.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
*Draco's pov*
I'm relieved. Ginny gave the knife back. And she didn't try to tell me how wrong I was about everything I said. She just listened, and understood.
Excitement runs through my veins in anticipation. I forget everything around me, all I see is the silver blade.
It's cold when I apply it on my skin and I grin at that. This familiar coldness makes me comfortable. I begin to rub the edge softly on my skin. I don't' want to cut straight away like I used to do, I take my time, feeling the flesh prickle and burn. The skin is scratched now, but the blood doesn't want to come. I press a little harder and the forming cut becomes red and watery, but there's no crimson. Not a single dot of blood.
I breathe harder, my mind is racing and my arm is sensitive and burning like hell now. Why can't I draw the blood out? Blood is my salvation, the only thing that can relieve me. If blood doesn't spurt, the pain stays inside.
I'm panicking, hyperventilating. It drives me crazy to cut into the flesh without blood showing. I rub the edge of the knife harder and harder on my arm, I don't breathe anymore. A dot of red appears finally on my arm. It's not enough. I eventually tighten my grip on the knife and dig profoundly in my arm. The blood rolls quickly everywhere. I've never cut that deeply and I feel dizzy. A wave of relief washes over me and I breathe again as I stare at the gash.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~' Your last line made me laugh out loud much longer than it should've. I guess that's what lack of sleep does. In any case, I love the opening, hehe. AHH HOLIDAY, CHRISTMAS!!! *starts twitching* Oh dear god no... *whimper* I cried during Draco's speech!!!!!! Omg... Awesome chapter!!!
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::
REVIEW!!!!!! Please! Please! Please! Even if you don't know what colour your review button is! *wink*
Precious Passion: Hello!!!!! What? You spent all day reading that? You've got to be kidding! Thanks! I'm glad I'm an author and that people read my story, talented or not. But I'm also very happy you say so! He he he... I write many other stories! I just don't post them yet! I've another HP story, a Gilmore Girls story, some Dark Angel shots, a HP story in project with my beta, some original stories blah blah blah! I hope you continue to read this! And that you enjoy my long chappie! I think it's the longer I've ever written in this fic.
Kismet2: I update, I update... Don't worry! I know I wasn't very present this summer (not that you care) but I promise that since October, I'll update more often!
Kaly: well, I loved your review. It made me smile. Thanks and welcome to my insane little world! I promise I'll do an email list (I see you're an anonymous reviewer)
Rubberduckie713: I hope it was the best chappie ever for you! I wrote it especially FOR YOU!!!! Hope you feel special... I think you should write your stories, even if you think your ideas are overused. Don't you think that Draco being abused and a cutter is overused? That the D/G pairing is very creative? My ideas are as overused as yours, I just try to add little things that make it special, like Hannah, or Arthur, or characters like Blaise. Write your stories, I beg you!!!!!
Miriam G: I'm no cheater! *Stick out tongue at you* Pasting it in Word was TOTALLY fair and legal! Nah! Well, I understand better why you're hated on this message board, but I guess they're just morons... they've got a real good level of conversation. People can be sooooo dense. I'm glad you gave the long version!!!!! Never try to give me the short version of anything, you hear me? You Upa song is just gonna be the summer's best song. You know, beaches full of people dancing and singing it, you, celebrity, shaking hands with.huh. let's say Britney... muahahahahaaha... Voldemort is there!!!!! I wrote his pov just fro you! And I just comment the fact that I haven't made him a moron!!!! Have fun!
Slothcrzy4dm: OMG... are you actually saying that I'm the first one who receives a review from you????? Cool!!!!! I hope you continue to read this! You say that to a stranger coz... I'll email you about that, if you don't mind. You discover in this chappie what Ginny saw in the pensieve. And Don't worry, I'm gonna continue!!!!!! It'll be a very very long story, coz I don't want to end it at all! Yeah, it's a bit like Draco and Ron had switch beliefs, it's pretty scary... You tend to ramble????? I LOVE YOU ALREADY!!!!! I'm a rambler too! My reviews can reach 3000 words, and it's pretty scary that my replies are soooo long. One day, they'll be longer than my chappie....
Shortnsassy: what? You don't know what colour your review button is? Mine is orange... or purple, with shades of red... Ahem, yeah, no comment! My writing is... amazing? Gee, you have to tell that to my English writing teacher! I've always only just sufficient marks. As for Arthur, it's only coz it's my teddy's name, but well, let's say it's coz her dad gave her the teddy and decided to name it after him, for the honors.
Twisted faith: *Breathe again* Amen, there's not too much fluff! That was one of my biggest fear! Draco is just not made for fluff and I'm always scared I might fall in that. Many many more chappies, I promise! I don't want to end this story, so you have time!
Ebony rose 1: hello again! I see I'm not the only one not to like Pansy. she's so stupid, it's unbelievable. I'm gonna do this emailing list today, normally. Depends if my mum kicks me out of the computer place...
Carshaa: glad you liked the chappie, hope you like this one too. I'm not normal. No scout is! Well, not in my group at least! All the other groups of the region were always treating us differently coz we're a Christian group, and once, we made a big camp with them and they were just awestruck at how insane we were. We're the worst one, havoc and mess everywhere... muahahahaha... Harry is nice. He was just a bit taken aback by the whole thing, but he's nice. I simply can't make him act evilly. Even Ron is different in this chappie. Well, still moronic, but Molly understands his true motives, even if he doesn't use the right ways... insane reviewer? Why do I always attract insane people? *sigh* well, hope you don't hate me too much for not having updated before! *sheepish smile*
Alexandria2: Me, empress of the smileys... sounds good.... ahem, yeah... no comment... Well, I hope I make you cry in this chappie, but it's not the most emotional... have a nice reading!
Disclaimer: *mute* ::nudged by lawyer:: *pout* :: glared at:: *sigh* Ok, I give up.... I don't own HP, blah blah blah... *pout*
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::
Chapter 15 :
*Voldemort's pov*
I'm surrounded by morons.
Malfoy is in front of me, all quivering and stuttering while he pathetically tries to explain me the situation with his son.
At least, the boy is more clever than the father. Hopefully for himself, Malfoy is useful. His stupidity often makes me want to kill him. Well, he follows my orders like a puppet dog, it can help.
The young Malfoy is another matter. He's smart. And he knows way too much about me. I can't afford to let him go, he would be a great asset for us, and dangerous, very dangerous, if he chose the other side.
I could kill him. It would be simpler. The threat would be erased. But he will be more useful to me alive. If I can make him follow me, he would become my heir. The one to continue my task when I'm gone. Because no one is immortal. And if my task dies with me, all this is in vain.
Malfoy is done with his lame explanation. I stare at him, he squirms under my gaze. It's distressing. I'm sure he's ready to lick my shoes if I asked him. A slave, a tool. He thinks he's got power and ambition. But his power is depending on mine. As for his ambition, it's nonexistent or nearly. His goal is to be the best Death Eater. Quite the easy way.
Draco Malfoy has chosen the hard path. The way that will make him fight all his life. For his freedom, his conscience, his individuality. Fight for his convictions.
This path will make him so much stronger than his father; than all my servants.
I think the most comical is Malfoy's responsibility in this. After all, he's the one who brought him up. Probably torture is not the best way to raise children.
The boy is my new prey. I want him. I'll get him. He's priceless. The plan is already forming in my head, nobody will be able to save him. I don't think anybody would care if he disappeared.
I'm still glaring at Lucius and the man is on the edge of breaking down. Weak. I finally decide to put an end to his torture.
"Just manage to have him home for the next holidays. Leave now."
"Yes Master," he replies while bowing. Pathetic.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
*Ginny's pov*
I've been trying to sleep for hours, but it simply doesn't seem to work. The memory is turning inside my head and I can't get it out. Even if I haven't spoken with Draco about it, I know I saw what happened when Hannah was killed.
I've still some difficulty to admit that what I saw actually happened. It's worse than a nightmare, and it's reality. I don't understand how a human being (well, technically at least) can act the way Lucius Malfoy acts. What makes Humans act so wickedly? Even if Lucius is a Death Eater, he could love at least his family. But no, he destroyed it. He destroyed his wife, and now, he tries to bring his son down. Some people just don't deserve to live, and Draco's father belongs to this category.
The sheets are all wrapped around me, I'm hot and sweaty. I need to get up, take a cool shower, go for a walk to clam me, but my brain doesn't want to work with my body.
Lucius' manic laughter plagues me. The image of Hannah's and the other girl's execution makes me want to throw up. Seeing Draco, first beaten, kicked, whipped, then crucioed, to be left helpless on the ground hurts me so much I want to scream at the top of my lungs.
His father took everything from him. He tried to empty his soul. I want to give it all back to him. I want happiness to invade him.
Pictures flow again through my mind. Draco's suffering whirls inside my stomach.
It stabs me. He'll never be happy. He'll always be haunted by his past. I know memories can be strong. They just don't vanish, you can't sink into oblivion with a flick of your wand. Darkness will be part of him forever. How could I have been so blind? He's not going to change into somebody bright, laughing, blissful. Myself, I'm not bright. Tom's presence is still lingering down in my core. He's part of me now. As he's part of Harry. You can't escape what you are.
Experiences build our personalities. The Chamber of Secrets left a dark cloud surrounding me. Lucius' left scars on Draco.
I knew that approaching Draco would mean being hurt. But I never expected that. Such pain to be shared.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
*Hannah's pov*
I'm happy Ginny found Draco. As usual, I saw everything. I always do.
I saw Ginny tell him how much she cared, I saw them chat and laugh together, ally against this stupid Parkinson girl. I'm so happy for them, and so sad for myself at the same time.
He doesn't need me anymore. The realisation hits me right in the face. He has Ginny now, and me, I'm a worthless little ghost. I'm dead. I can't really help him. I can't even snatch his knife when I want. My only weapon is words. And he's so stubborn.
I sigh loudly and I'm so deep in my thoughts that I don't hear Myrtle pop next to me. When I finally acknowledge her presence, she sighs heavily and rolls her eyes. I know it's her way for saying she wants to complain and wants attention.
"What?"
She looks ahead and sighs again.
"Harry hasn't come to see me in ages."
I really want to bang my head on something, but I only go through it, and it annoys me deeply. Myrtle is sweet and really nice when she wants, and when she's not moaning. But honestly, this evening, I don't want to listen about her little problems and her infatuation with Harry Potter. She understands quickly that something is wrong with me.
"Something annoys you?" She is again my nice friend. It's funny how she can switch modes.
"I feel useless. I had an aim for my ghostly life, but it has been reached, so now.... What can I do?"
"I understand. My aim was to annoy Olive, but when she left Hogwarts, I had nothing else to do. It took my quite a long time to figure out something that would pass the time."
"And apart from drooling over Harry, this includes?"
She turns to me with a mischievous grin.
"Pranks."
"Pranks?" I'm dumbfounded. But what pranks? And on who? I've never seen any of her pranks. And how can she pull them? Damn, she's a ghost, she can't grab material and...
"Yeah, I plan Peeves' pranks. He's the most stupid poltergeist I've ever seen. He's incapable of imagining a single prank. Do you join?"
I never was the prankster type. I was always well behaved and such. But what have I to lose now? I grin evilly and Myrtle screams in delight.
I guess I've found a new occupation and smile as a certain magenta duck pops in my head.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
*Ron's pov*
I'm waiting in Mum's office. It's early in the morning and I had to get up earlier just because she wants to speak to me. Somehow, I know what the topic will be and it annoys me more than everything, including detention with Snape. I don't want to speak about them. I want to erase them from my memory, from my life.
"Good morning Ron!" she says in her cheery voice. I hate when she uses that tone. We both know we're here to sort things out and that we're eventually going to yell at each other. Her voice is false.
I mutter a quick morning as she sits in front of the fire. When she speaks again, the false cheery tone has been dropped. I guess we come directly to the problem.
"What's with you, Ron?"
With me? Is she talking about ME? I can't believe it. I again take all the blame. Me. Hasn't Ginny a part of responsibility? She's the one who's bringing shame on us!
"You'd better ask your daughter this question," I drawl cynically.
"She's you sister, she-"
"No she isn't!" I cut sharply.
"You can't disown her for having friends," she replies, shaking her head and sighing.
"Friends? But what friends? Everybody thinks like me! She has no friend anymore. And why is that? Because of HIM!"
I spit out the last word. Never my hatred toward him overwhelmed me as it does now. He corrupted my sister, and he uses her. I'm sure of that, he wouldn't want her as a friend only. She's lower than him in his mind.
"Why do you care? It's her choice."
"And if it isn't? If he possesses her or something?"
I see a grin spread on her face and it only makes me angrier.
"So in fact, you're more worried than angry, right? You're way too protective, Ron."
"I hate him, ok? And when I say hate, it's not an understatement. In fact, the word is even too weak. Damn, every time I see him, I just want to smash his head against a wall and kick him till he's dying on the ground."
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
*Molly's pov*
Ron's eyes are glinting with anger and hatred. He's serious and that scares me to death. As his words sink, all I can see his Draco in my mind. How horrible I felt when I bumped into Severus carrying him. How fear buried me.
"Don't say such things, Ron. You know you don't mean them," I reply dryly.
"Oh no, I do mean them. He deserves it."
"No, he doesn't. Nobody does, and especially him. You don't know him; you should give him a chance."
"I already know him too much for my sake, thank you. And stop standing for him. After what his father has done to Ginny, after all the insults his family threw in our faces, you can't do such a thing."
"I can and I will. You can't judge him on his father's actions or on his family." Ron is really getting on my nerves. I hope desperately that he gets out of the dense mode, but he seems to like his attitude now. He's so sure he's right.
"Then let's judge him!" He's shouting now. "He's an arrogant prat, he's spoiled, rotten to the core. Supremacist ,stupid, wicked. The list could go on for hours and hours!"
"You're right, that's the way he was brought up. That's how his father wants him to be. But maybe that's not how HE wants to be!" I try to remain clam, but my voice still has raised.
"Then he should have rebelled. He should have stood for himself instead of playing the game!"
"There are people you can't just stand against! I wonder what you would have become in his place!" I'm yelling too.
"I wouldn't be like him!"
"That's what you think." My voice is again calm, and cold.
Ron gets up suddenly, red with anger, and slams the door behind him.
I close my eyes and breathe a good deal as I'm leaning back in my chair.
That was brilliant. I'm bitter.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
*Ginny's pov*
I spot Draco sitting in the cherry tree and I climb to sit with him. He looks exhausted and sad and is rubbing his arm against the trunk. I can see it's already red with burning.
"What's the matter?" I say, frowning.
He doesn't want to look at me and just fix his gaze on his arm while still rubbing it against the tree.
"Give me my knife back."
"No." I shake my head. I don't want him to cut himself again. He could find another knife or anything else to do it, but he seems attached to that specific tool. And he wants it back. No way.
"I need it, please?" He's pleading me. Whispering softly. He's begging me. To give him back something he uses to hurt himself. I feel bad.
"You don't need it, so don't even think of it!" My tone is firm. He has to understand how bad it is. How wrong it is.
"You don't understand," he simply states, scratching his arm again. I don't stop him, I don't exactly understand why.
"Explain it to me then."
Maybe if he doesn't come out with good reasons, he'll see how wrong he is. He hesitates. I assume he doesn't think he can share this with me. I press him to tell me. To let me know why I should let my friend be hurt like this. Draco finally starts to speak, still not looking at me. His voice is unsteady has he delivers his confession. It's breaking and sometimes a bit quivering. He's not sure I'm going to listen and understand, he's worried I will let him down because he's vulnerable.
"It's a release. It's the only I've found to deal with what is bottling up inside me. Nobody ever taught me other ways. My parents never asked me how I felt and I never shared it with anyone. And I need it to know that I'm alive. Everybody always considered me like an ice prince. I'm not that. I'm flesh and blood. I live. I'm not some statue, cold and with no heart. The burning of the forming wound tells me I've got flesh, and nerves. That I can feel. The crimson dripping from the wounds tells me I've got blood running inside my veins. And most of all, the physical pain makes me forget about the emotional one. My father always uses words before his feet, cane, or spells. And words hurt more than everything. "You're useless Draco, worthless. You're my biggest shame. You're not enough. You'll never be enough, whatever you can do." The beating that comes right after that makes me forget the words for a while. And physical wounds hurt, then heal, and the pain doesn't exist anymore. The words... they stab me, they rip me apart. The pain will be there forever. You won't prevent me from cutting again. You can't, it's part of me. People smoke or take drugs or alcohol to cope with their lives. I cut. And I'm going to continue. You can't stop me, so please, I beg you, don't make arguments about that become something that hurts too."
I sit motionless. The silence surrounds us when he's finished. It's a heavy and condemning silence. What am I supposed to do, to say? He's right of course, I'm not going to stop him.
I slowly retrieve the knife from my pocket where I had hastily shoved it before. The shiny blade mocks me. I've lost the battle against it again. I hate it.
I give him back the knife. The second I've done it, I feel a pang of guilt. I had forgotten the wounds the blade inflicts can't be healed by magic. That's why Draco wanted it so badly. To prevent people from making the pain vanish.
I watch him play with the blade in his palm. I know he wants to do it right now but waits for my sake. I leave, there's nothing I can do. I try to grin at him before going, I see his silver eyes saying thanks, but I still feel bad. When I turn my back and head for the castle, I know what he's doing.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
*Draco's pov*
I'm relieved. Ginny gave the knife back. And she didn't try to tell me how wrong I was about everything I said. She just listened, and understood.
Excitement runs through my veins in anticipation. I forget everything around me, all I see is the silver blade.
It's cold when I apply it on my skin and I grin at that. This familiar coldness makes me comfortable. I begin to rub the edge softly on my skin. I don't' want to cut straight away like I used to do, I take my time, feeling the flesh prickle and burn. The skin is scratched now, but the blood doesn't want to come. I press a little harder and the forming cut becomes red and watery, but there's no crimson. Not a single dot of blood.
I breathe harder, my mind is racing and my arm is sensitive and burning like hell now. Why can't I draw the blood out? Blood is my salvation, the only thing that can relieve me. If blood doesn't spurt, the pain stays inside.
I'm panicking, hyperventilating. It drives me crazy to cut into the flesh without blood showing. I rub the edge of the knife harder and harder on my arm, I don't breathe anymore. A dot of red appears finally on my arm. It's not enough. I eventually tighten my grip on the knife and dig profoundly in my arm. The blood rolls quickly everywhere. I've never cut that deeply and I feel dizzy. A wave of relief washes over me and I breathe again as I stare at the gash.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~' Your last line made me laugh out loud much longer than it should've. I guess that's what lack of sleep does. In any case, I love the opening, hehe. AHH HOLIDAY, CHRISTMAS!!! *starts twitching* Oh dear god no... *whimper* I cried during Draco's speech!!!!!! Omg... Awesome chapter!!!
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::
REVIEW!!!!!! Please! Please! Please! Even if you don't know what colour your review button is! *wink*