A/N: Hello everybody! Gee, do you really want to know how much ashamed I am
not to have posted this before? I have an excuse for once, though! I was
away, lost in the mountains, in France. Ok, I have to admit htat we had
computers there, and even an internet connection, but it was supposed to be
only for archaeological research, hmmpf..... anyway, I hope you like this
chapter! A few among you asked to be emailed wheneverI updated. I tried to
type up a list with all your emails and to send you all something, but it
didn't work, and as I'm no computer genius, I really don't know what to do
and what didn't work. Anybody with an idea is welcome.
Now..... On with the replies.....
SicDreamsInc: HEY! Your bunch of reviews was quite a surprise! I opened my inbox and woosh, they were 16 fanfic alerts, I thought it was an error and that they had sent me too many emails for one review..... Can you imagine my delight when I saw it was a different one each time? I love Draco too, I really don't know why I have this thing going for bad boys, but well..... *sigh* I'm a totally D/G shipper, I can't see it another way, lol. *snort* Honestly, after what Rowling made in the fifth book, I've no hope at all that she sees how much of a wonderful character she's screwing. She just makes Draco acts stupidly, and I think he's not. I must say that Harry can pretty get on my nerves. Perfect Harry Potter, drives me crazy. And in the OotP, he's so selfish and annoying..... And any guy who wants to go out with Cho Chang is a moron. Flippin' cow. Ahem, don't mind me..... Do you really understand French? Oh so rare people..... So I can write my next review to you in French, right? Muahahahaha. Well, Lucius, in the end.....Muahahaha, it's for me to know and for you to WAIT! He he he..... I see that as you read the chapters, your reviews became less long. I hope it's coz I got you at loss of words, lol. Anyway..... still waiting for your email here! Hope you like this chapter! And update your story, bloody hell!
Happigolucki616: first, to go to my house and kill me, my dear, you would have to know where it is, and since I live in like up the arse of the planet, you would have quite a problem to find me, lol. Such ennthusiasm for my little story..... are you sure you're not on drugs? Joking, thanks for your review, it got right to my heart! I think I've come across your story once! The title lit something in my head. Anyway, I'm gonna check it tomorrow, when I'm finally finished with all my bloody exams!
Rokamerika123: I believe you've already changed your name, right? Don't know where I saw that, but I did. Anyway, French school? Damn, do people really go there? Parents are insane..... French is beautiful, but damn, it's sucha complicated language to learn. I live in the French part of Switzerland, in a town called Neuchâtel, next to a lake called..... Lake of Neuchâtel. I know, Swiss people are really creative, lol.
Miriam G: Jesus, your reviews get longer and longer, not that I complain. Yours always lift my spirits and each time I see you posted one I wonder what rambling you're gonna grace me with. Yeah, I love Snape, he's so cynical, it's really amusing to write. What? Some people actually do their homework? Hard realisation there, damn. I can so imagine the look on Lupin's face when you cracked up! Must have been damn funny. Of course you weren't flirting..... what reality your mum lives in, I do wonder..... *winks at your mum*. Oh oh.....Friends have a skill to embarass you in front of your crush. I know that, my friends have this same nasty habit, grrrr..... Ok, now, I want to know what happened since you last reviewed (Yeah, I know, it's been a long time, I think I've already apologized though.). Or you can tell him [Ya tibia liubliu] approximatively the pronunciation for I love you in Russian, he he he.
Rubberduckie713: Have you really? Damn, I've to check it if it's posted yet! I know, Pansy will just be humiliated throughout the whole story, you can continue to count.
Drxd: I keep updating, I keep updating. Even if it's not very frequently, I admit it. *sigh*
DeathEater4life: Of course, Draco IS perfect! Lol. I continue to write, and I continue to bury you under stupid rambling, and don't give a fucking damn if it annoys you. Continue to review, and I shall maybe continue to write replies. Sev is the king of cynism, Ron is more than a dick, he's absolutely freaking stupid, at least in this story. And Harry lives in his little bubble, wrappedin his little glory. No, I'm not bitter, what makes you think I am?
Shortnsassy: Nice to see that the raising of children is as efficient as ever. I'm bribed too, if it's any consolation sad world..... *sigh* More is coming, a whole chapter right after the mountain of insane ranting about hte beauty fo life. Don't mind me, I'm out of it.
Slothcrzy4dm: be careful with what you say, I'm NOT crazy, in any ordinary way. I'm just the Almighty empress of the Smileys and queen of the lunatics. That's totally different. Anyway, Molly reflects a lot on this..... the poor woman is certainly gonna burn her brain cells if she continues that way. Ron is more than a bastard, and you're gonna love him even mroe in this chapter, lol. I know, Hermione has strange values, and as Ron says in Philosopher's Stone, she really needs to sort out her priorities. Ah! I'm gonna make you LOVE Snape in the end, I'm sure of it, he he he..... If you want another fic that would make you love Snape, you should check Fire'N'Ice, it's really excellent. I was able to take care of the leprechaun all right. Henry (the leprechaun) has accidentally been knocked out with a big firestone. *innocent smirk*
Vu: thanks for the review, I hope you continue to read that! Here is my update, sorry for the delay!
Lady Narcissa Malfoy: Gee, I know that I'm a goddess, hmmpf. Bow down in front of me! Muahahahaha. Oh, I love your line about elephant tranquilizer darts to fire the melodramatic Weasley clan. Can I use it in my fic? All copyright to you, of course, but it made me laugh my head off, and I crave to place it in the mouth of one of the characters! Sorry for not having replied to your last review! I guess you posted it right when I was posting my next chapter. Anyway, of course you can borrow Arthur, and I advise you to keep it, because this story will not really improve on the happy side. I'm glad you think ti's a real story with a plot. I don't want to rush things, I hate when they're rushed, it's just so unnatural, it's pretty annoying. And I guess that as long as they aren't together, I can continue the story, and I really don't want to end it. I hope you're going to continue to read it, and to love it. And sorry, but I like to make you cry, it means I'm not so bad in the angst register.
Carshaa: I know I know, I'm not very efficient with posting for now, but it's gonna change from next week, coz uni starts again, which means courses, but also plenty fo time, and most of all, a quite regular schedule, which has been lacking these past weeks.
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Ok people! I hope you love this chapter, I hope you like Colin and Sophia, I hope you review, I hope you bury me under insane rambling, I hope you worship me..... Ok, cross out the last one, I can't ask too much for the same chapter.
Disclaimer: MINE!!!!!!!!! She screams, holding the books and all. The judge finally decides to bang her head against the computer to make her wake up from her delusional reality. Fuckin' headache now. *sigh* Don't sue me for being insane.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Molly's pov* And here I am, confronting my son again. Of course, I see things quite differently now, so it might help, but I'm still so confused, that we may start a fight again. Why are things so complicated? How is it possible our family suddenly blew up like it did?
Ron looks at me with an air of annoyance on his face. He doesn't understand. For him, everything is white or black, there's no shade of grey. All is nice, or evil, it's simple, but also utopian. In fact, he still thinks the same way as a six year-old kid, and it depresses me.
"What do you want now, Mum. I think we've sorted it out, right? We're both stubborn and there's no solution, period. I'm losing my time and I've some divination homework to do, if you don't mind." He's already on the edge of leaving, and when I speak again, he's nearly out of my office.
"I understand you. But I also understand your sister. It hurts to see us all drift away. Like you, I'm worried about Ginny. Not because of Draco himself, but because of something I know and I can't tell you, though it would make you understand things pretty much. Ginny would tell you, if you gave her a chance. You judged her so quickly, you didn't even give her time to explain. Listen to her, and then judge, not the other way round. Promise me you'll try to talk with her, please." I stare intently at him while he ponders my words. If only I could convince him!
"I can't promise you that, but I'll try." He mutters finally.
For him, it's a defeat, for me, it's just a step toward peace. Now I just pray they talk and not throw things at each other. The "speaking to Mum" session went ok with Ron, I breathe again. But it won't last. I fear my next confrontation with Ginny. Arthur is right, Lucius is dangerous, yet all this is counteracted by Severus' words. He's right too, Draco is just beginning to live again, and my motives are selfish. I don't think Ginny really cares about the potential danger Lucius represents. And there's Narcissa. I can't forget my lost friend. Draco is her only child, her son, and he has to be saved, for her sake. I will always blame myself because I wasn't able to help Narcissa, so if Ginny can't help Draco, I don't think I would be able to look at myself again. And Ginny would be angry at me, and at herself.
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*Ron's pov*
How she made me agree to speak with Ginny again is simply unbelievable. But now, I'm practically obliged to do it, even if I don't really want to. When I step in the common room, I spot her pretty easily, she's alone in a corner, reading a book. This image reminds me of the times after the Chamber of Secrets, when she was cast aside because everybody thought she was a freak. She suffered so much back then. But she fought, and she won their trust and friendship. I was so proud of her at that time, how she managed to turn Fate and braved the wickedness and ignorance of the others. That's why I don't understand this attachment to Malfoy. It has destroyed everything she took so much time to build, and it seems like she doesn't give a damn. Like he's more important than even us, her family.
I walk toward her, and I can hear the noise of the common room decrease. They all want to know if I'm gonna yell at her again. I see the tiredness in her eyes when she looks up at me. I see pain and hurt, it drives me crazy, so I can't even raise my voice, and just asks her in a whisper to follow me. She nods and gets up, we head for a empty classroom to talk.
She seats herself on the window sill and looks outside while swinging her legs. I take place on a desk, facing her. I just stare at her blankly, I wait till she looks at me. Which she does after one or two minutes.
"What do you want Ron?"
"Mum asked me to talk with you, to sort of understand you blah blah blah, so here we are."
"Nice." her tone is sarcastic, and she frowns while raising her eyebrows.
"Listen, I'm worried for you, ok? Malfoy is a bastard, he's such a-"
"He's also my friend."
"But why? Why him? You don't need him, you had plenty of friends before, you were happy, weren't you? Why screw everything for such a git?"
"I don't think it's any of your business. You should trust me, and that's all. Did I ever judge you on your friends? I never told you that you had befriended Harry to gain a little spotlight. I never told you that Hermione was your friend because her brains were useful."
"You know it's not true!" I'm slowly losing my control, and I'm on the edge of slapping her. She has no right to judge me!
"Yes, I know it's not true. And you should know that I'm not possessed, that I'm not under a spell, and that I'm perfectly able to choose my friends."
"Seems like you've lost your mind, my dear! Do you realise what you've lost? And what did you gain with this whole story? Nothing!" I spit at her.
I can see I've hit a nerve, she's slowly losing her temper too.
"How do you that I haven't gained anything with him, huh? You're in my head now? You're living my life? I don't think so. I'm sick of lying, I'm sick of being perfect Ginny, the girl that fights everything and is always happy. And on top of everything, I'm sick of being useless."
"What does it mean, sick of lying? You're not lying! It was all an accident, and now, it's all forgotten, it's just a memory! You can move on, and have a sunny life!"
"You're so immature Ron. You live in a bubble and don't understand anything. The Chamber of Secrets has marked me forever, and it's not just a mere memory. Nightmares plague me, and I've hidden it all, cause I didn't want to lose my friends. But Draco doesn't judge me, because his past is not bright either. Our stories have not much in common, but in a way, we're similar. Always hiding, and always suffering in silence. But you, what do you know about that? You always had the simple way!"
"You don't know my life either! But it doesn't matter in fact, I don't want to see you again. Not only aren't you my sister anymore, but you don't exist at all anymore, you're not worth my attention. You can go with him all you want, I don't give a damn. You can go and become a Death Eater if you want, I'll have no pity for you if I meet you on a battle field. Forget me, and forget the rest of the family too. You don't belong there anymore, you don't belong to Gryffindor anymore. You're dead."
I turn and leave. I don't want to see the tears welling in her eyes anymore. I feel stupid for not having known about her nightmares, I feel like she betrayed me, because she prefers to talk to the enemy than to me. I don't hate her. I can't even do that. No, I'll just mourn her death, and that's all.
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*Ginny's pov*
I thought I was done with the insults and the stabs, I guess I was wrong. Each time, it hurts more. I'm bitting my lip, I don't want to cry in front of him. I hold my breath and look at him, trying to hide the distress in my eyes. I bit my lip so hard that I actually draw blood. The pain eases my feelings a little. I guess I've just experimented with self-injury, though it wasn't predetermined.
Ron is leaving, I breathe again. I free my tears and they fall on my lap endlessly. The night is settling down, but I don't want to light the candles that are in the room. I just want to stay in the dark and let the shadows wrap me in their coldness.
I cry for hours, curled up on the window sill. My lip has stopped bleeding, but the pain is still present, and it calms me. I'm scared, do I turn to self-injury too? My head hurts, my body is sore, I'm cold. I'm miserable, I want to die. Alone.
"Ginny?"
Who found me? I don't want to be found, I don't want to fight again! My fingers turn to fists while the figure is approaching. Draco. It's only Draco, my friend, my ally. He sensed something was wrong and came. I'm not alone. The realisation makes me cry again, but they're tears of relief this time. I feel his arms around me and realise how cold I was. I tell him everything in a shaky voice. My sadness comes back, I can't help it. I'm so bitter. He says nothing, he just holds me tighter and rocks me till I calm down.
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*Draco's pov*
I can't believe we're already Monday morning and that we're also in the middle of November. Next Saturday is the first Slytherin match, but I don't think I'm on the team anymore. I know they've started to train a long time ago, but I've never gone to a simple training, and I'm sure the new captain found somebody to replace me. I don't give a damn, but my dear father's reaction worries me. I can foreshadow where I'm gonna spend Saturday night. Damn hospital wing.
But I don't want to think about that for now. I've got potions first place, and Gryffindors to face. Slytherin have left me alone, especially Pansy, it's pretty nice. But Gryffindors, it's another matter. It's not because I've started to eat again that I'm much better. I'm aware of my latent weakness, and even in spells and such, I'm sure Ron can beat me easily. My only chance is to arrive nearly late in class. I'm pathetic, I can't even face Gryffindors anymore.
When I turn the corner near the classroom, they're still all outside. Snape is late, which is very unusual. And it annoys me, I can't go back, I've to wait there with them all. Gryffindors, and Slytherins. My world is complete.
"So Malfoy, spent the week-end killing muggles with Daddy Dear?" says Weasley in a careless tone.
"Want a drink and some cookies to go along with the tea room conversation?" I drawl back. He seems surprised, he probably was expecting a blank stare, like the Slytherins the other day.
"Let's use the term interrogation." He's still pretty calm, it's surprising.
"Oh. And since when are you abilited for this kind of practice? Do you have any valuable excuse for your impolite behaviour?" This is starting to be fun.
"My excuse is my sister, you bastard!" Yep, I was sure he wouldn't have so much self-control as to talk civilly with me for more than a minute. He's getting angry, and I know that if he throws himself at me, or if he draws his wand, I probably will lose the fight, but it's still a game for now, and my next move will hit him right in the face.
"Ahem, sorry, but she told me no later than yesterday night that you didn't want her as a sister anymore, and that she didn't existed for you anymore, so excuse me, but I'm a bit lost in your reasoning."
I push back from the wall where I was leaning as Snape opens the door. I'm pretty sure he's heard our conversation, but he won't say anything. His politic is to never get involved in students problems, he's not mad.
Weasley is on the edge of killing me, I can see it pretty easily. I hope my comment about Ginny made him think a little bit. Can't he understand how much she needs her family?
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*Sophia's pov*
I was Ginny's friend since the end of our second year. In first year, everybody thought she was weird, and had no personality, so she had no friends. In second year, she was feared by everybody. She had been possessed by Voldemort, and you never know what could happen with that fact. But she quickly made our minds change. Her natural kindness and her good sense of humour made us all love her. For being in the same dorm as her, I know that nightmares about the Chamber of Secrets still plague her, but she never burdened us with that. She pushed it in a corner of her mind, to make us forget, scared that we would turn our backs on her. And now, it's done, for another reason.
We're in Divination, and I stare at her discreetly. She's bored, but this is not new. Trelawney always liked to predict her death, like she used to do with Harry Potter. Always telling her she had a dark soul and some other things. Of course, it's extremely clever to tell someone that has been possessed that she has a dark soul. It certainly helps her.
The more I look at her, the less I can hate her.
Colin elbows me.
"What?"
"Why are you looking at her? She doesn't exist anymore!" he whispers, throwing sideway glances at Trelawney, currently rambling about Elisa's tea leaves.
"You were her friend too, how can you hate her so much now?"
"She went with Malfoy, it's sufficient."
"For me, it's not. And till I know everything about this, I'm not gonna judge her like that. Besides, I've already a plan to learn a few things."
Colin looks at me in a awe. He's quite the coward type, and I don't think he's very keen on plans and plots, but I need help, and being two will give us bravery. "What is it?" he says in a quivering voice.
"Spying, my dear Colin. Spying." I grin evilly. I know Ginny will not be very pleased with that, but if it's the only way to discover things, it has to be done. I hear Colin sigh next to me. I was sure he wouldn't be enthusiastic.
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*Colin's pov*
I generally hate Sophia's ideas, and it's not for nothing. Here I find myself spending my lunch break spying on Malfoy. Oh joy... We've been following him for a few minutes now, and he seems to head outside. Why go outside in such a cold weather, do tell me. I try to get Sophia out of the plan. I don't like it at all. In fact, I'm practically deadly scared of Malfoy. He's impressive, and most of all, he used to bully me pretty badly, after the whole Harry pictures things. To tell the truth, I'm no spy material, and I think I'm soon going to pee in my pants.
Malfoy has stopped on the cliffhanger dominating the lake. He sits right on the edge. Damn, how is he not afraid of the heigth?
He stays motionless for about ten minutes. Just gazing at the lake and such. I'm uneasy. If he catches us, we're dead, and plus, we're losing our time and I'm hungry. I elbow Sophia to make her leave with me, but she suddenly catches my wrist and makes me come back behind the tree where we're hiding.
Malfoy is still sitting on the edge of the damn cliff, but he's retrieved something from his pocket. It's shiny and silver, but I can't see what it is, we're too far. I don't know what he's doing with it, but he's using it on his arm. Now, this has awakened my curiosity, and it's my turn to drag Sophia to a closer hiding place.
Bloody hell, it's a knife, a freaking knife. And Malfoy is cutting through his skin with it. I think I'm gonna faint, I'm not very keen on blood. No, I don't think anymore, I simply fall to the ground with a loud noise.
.............................
Somebody slaps me harshly and I wake up, to find myself facing Malfoy. Sophia is nowhere to be seen, the bitch has left me behind. Malfoy doesn't seem very pleased to see me. I sit up and starts to stutter stupidly.
"So... H-how are y-y-you?"
His arm is still bleeding freely and this sight drives me crazy, I can't help looking at it, but at the same time, it disgusts me. I shudder, and he laughs.
"Scared of blood, Creevey? So why'd Gryffindor send you to spy on me, if you're so fragile?"
I try to regain my senses, I don't want him to think I'm weak and stupid.
"They didn't send me. And yes, I'm afraid of blood. And you're a freak, if you ask me. A bloody freak. You're mutilating yourself, it's horrible! No normal people would do it!"
"What I do is none of your business, Creevey. And you can think that I'm a freak as much as you want, it's been a long time since I've cared what people think about me."
"Does Ginny know?"
At that, he looks away, I'm not sure he's gonna answer, I believe I'll probably be hexed soon and gets up, ready to run.
"Yes."
And with that, he leaves. I realize that I have hardly breathed since I woke, and I realize how scared I really was. Relief runs through me and I head back to the castle. One, I'm gonna kill Sophia. Two, I've to talk to Ginny.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LoL!! I love how you've involved Colin and this Sophia person. Very good! And Colin's thoughts are sooooo funny!!!! Grrr, Ronald, I'm becoming impatient with you. I can understand that he feels betrayed, though. If Lucius hurts our Draco, I swear.... *gets knife* Normal people...hmm.. who is this normal of which Colin speaks?
If you want to know, I've no bloody idea, lol.
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A/N: Ok, I'm not gonna humiliate myself publicly but..... PLEASE, REVIEW!!!!! *crawls on her knees* "I thought you didn't want to humiliate yourself?" Don't remind me..... *sigh*
Now..... On with the replies.....
SicDreamsInc: HEY! Your bunch of reviews was quite a surprise! I opened my inbox and woosh, they were 16 fanfic alerts, I thought it was an error and that they had sent me too many emails for one review..... Can you imagine my delight when I saw it was a different one each time? I love Draco too, I really don't know why I have this thing going for bad boys, but well..... *sigh* I'm a totally D/G shipper, I can't see it another way, lol. *snort* Honestly, after what Rowling made in the fifth book, I've no hope at all that she sees how much of a wonderful character she's screwing. She just makes Draco acts stupidly, and I think he's not. I must say that Harry can pretty get on my nerves. Perfect Harry Potter, drives me crazy. And in the OotP, he's so selfish and annoying..... And any guy who wants to go out with Cho Chang is a moron. Flippin' cow. Ahem, don't mind me..... Do you really understand French? Oh so rare people..... So I can write my next review to you in French, right? Muahahahaha. Well, Lucius, in the end.....Muahahaha, it's for me to know and for you to WAIT! He he he..... I see that as you read the chapters, your reviews became less long. I hope it's coz I got you at loss of words, lol. Anyway..... still waiting for your email here! Hope you like this chapter! And update your story, bloody hell!
Happigolucki616: first, to go to my house and kill me, my dear, you would have to know where it is, and since I live in like up the arse of the planet, you would have quite a problem to find me, lol. Such ennthusiasm for my little story..... are you sure you're not on drugs? Joking, thanks for your review, it got right to my heart! I think I've come across your story once! The title lit something in my head. Anyway, I'm gonna check it tomorrow, when I'm finally finished with all my bloody exams!
Rokamerika123: I believe you've already changed your name, right? Don't know where I saw that, but I did. Anyway, French school? Damn, do people really go there? Parents are insane..... French is beautiful, but damn, it's sucha complicated language to learn. I live in the French part of Switzerland, in a town called Neuchâtel, next to a lake called..... Lake of Neuchâtel. I know, Swiss people are really creative, lol.
Miriam G: Jesus, your reviews get longer and longer, not that I complain. Yours always lift my spirits and each time I see you posted one I wonder what rambling you're gonna grace me with. Yeah, I love Snape, he's so cynical, it's really amusing to write. What? Some people actually do their homework? Hard realisation there, damn. I can so imagine the look on Lupin's face when you cracked up! Must have been damn funny. Of course you weren't flirting..... what reality your mum lives in, I do wonder..... *winks at your mum*. Oh oh.....Friends have a skill to embarass you in front of your crush. I know that, my friends have this same nasty habit, grrrr..... Ok, now, I want to know what happened since you last reviewed (Yeah, I know, it's been a long time, I think I've already apologized though.). Or you can tell him [Ya tibia liubliu] approximatively the pronunciation for I love you in Russian, he he he.
Rubberduckie713: Have you really? Damn, I've to check it if it's posted yet! I know, Pansy will just be humiliated throughout the whole story, you can continue to count.
Drxd: I keep updating, I keep updating. Even if it's not very frequently, I admit it. *sigh*
DeathEater4life: Of course, Draco IS perfect! Lol. I continue to write, and I continue to bury you under stupid rambling, and don't give a fucking damn if it annoys you. Continue to review, and I shall maybe continue to write replies. Sev is the king of cynism, Ron is more than a dick, he's absolutely freaking stupid, at least in this story. And Harry lives in his little bubble, wrappedin his little glory. No, I'm not bitter, what makes you think I am?
Shortnsassy: Nice to see that the raising of children is as efficient as ever. I'm bribed too, if it's any consolation sad world..... *sigh* More is coming, a whole chapter right after the mountain of insane ranting about hte beauty fo life. Don't mind me, I'm out of it.
Slothcrzy4dm: be careful with what you say, I'm NOT crazy, in any ordinary way. I'm just the Almighty empress of the Smileys and queen of the lunatics. That's totally different. Anyway, Molly reflects a lot on this..... the poor woman is certainly gonna burn her brain cells if she continues that way. Ron is more than a bastard, and you're gonna love him even mroe in this chapter, lol. I know, Hermione has strange values, and as Ron says in Philosopher's Stone, she really needs to sort out her priorities. Ah! I'm gonna make you LOVE Snape in the end, I'm sure of it, he he he..... If you want another fic that would make you love Snape, you should check Fire'N'Ice, it's really excellent. I was able to take care of the leprechaun all right. Henry (the leprechaun) has accidentally been knocked out with a big firestone. *innocent smirk*
Vu: thanks for the review, I hope you continue to read that! Here is my update, sorry for the delay!
Lady Narcissa Malfoy: Gee, I know that I'm a goddess, hmmpf. Bow down in front of me! Muahahahaha. Oh, I love your line about elephant tranquilizer darts to fire the melodramatic Weasley clan. Can I use it in my fic? All copyright to you, of course, but it made me laugh my head off, and I crave to place it in the mouth of one of the characters! Sorry for not having replied to your last review! I guess you posted it right when I was posting my next chapter. Anyway, of course you can borrow Arthur, and I advise you to keep it, because this story will not really improve on the happy side. I'm glad you think ti's a real story with a plot. I don't want to rush things, I hate when they're rushed, it's just so unnatural, it's pretty annoying. And I guess that as long as they aren't together, I can continue the story, and I really don't want to end it. I hope you're going to continue to read it, and to love it. And sorry, but I like to make you cry, it means I'm not so bad in the angst register.
Carshaa: I know I know, I'm not very efficient with posting for now, but it's gonna change from next week, coz uni starts again, which means courses, but also plenty fo time, and most of all, a quite regular schedule, which has been lacking these past weeks.
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Ok people! I hope you love this chapter, I hope you like Colin and Sophia, I hope you review, I hope you bury me under insane rambling, I hope you worship me..... Ok, cross out the last one, I can't ask too much for the same chapter.
Disclaimer: MINE!!!!!!!!! She screams, holding the books and all. The judge finally decides to bang her head against the computer to make her wake up from her delusional reality. Fuckin' headache now. *sigh* Don't sue me for being insane.
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*Molly's pov* And here I am, confronting my son again. Of course, I see things quite differently now, so it might help, but I'm still so confused, that we may start a fight again. Why are things so complicated? How is it possible our family suddenly blew up like it did?
Ron looks at me with an air of annoyance on his face. He doesn't understand. For him, everything is white or black, there's no shade of grey. All is nice, or evil, it's simple, but also utopian. In fact, he still thinks the same way as a six year-old kid, and it depresses me.
"What do you want now, Mum. I think we've sorted it out, right? We're both stubborn and there's no solution, period. I'm losing my time and I've some divination homework to do, if you don't mind." He's already on the edge of leaving, and when I speak again, he's nearly out of my office.
"I understand you. But I also understand your sister. It hurts to see us all drift away. Like you, I'm worried about Ginny. Not because of Draco himself, but because of something I know and I can't tell you, though it would make you understand things pretty much. Ginny would tell you, if you gave her a chance. You judged her so quickly, you didn't even give her time to explain. Listen to her, and then judge, not the other way round. Promise me you'll try to talk with her, please." I stare intently at him while he ponders my words. If only I could convince him!
"I can't promise you that, but I'll try." He mutters finally.
For him, it's a defeat, for me, it's just a step toward peace. Now I just pray they talk and not throw things at each other. The "speaking to Mum" session went ok with Ron, I breathe again. But it won't last. I fear my next confrontation with Ginny. Arthur is right, Lucius is dangerous, yet all this is counteracted by Severus' words. He's right too, Draco is just beginning to live again, and my motives are selfish. I don't think Ginny really cares about the potential danger Lucius represents. And there's Narcissa. I can't forget my lost friend. Draco is her only child, her son, and he has to be saved, for her sake. I will always blame myself because I wasn't able to help Narcissa, so if Ginny can't help Draco, I don't think I would be able to look at myself again. And Ginny would be angry at me, and at herself.
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*Ron's pov*
How she made me agree to speak with Ginny again is simply unbelievable. But now, I'm practically obliged to do it, even if I don't really want to. When I step in the common room, I spot her pretty easily, she's alone in a corner, reading a book. This image reminds me of the times after the Chamber of Secrets, when she was cast aside because everybody thought she was a freak. She suffered so much back then. But she fought, and she won their trust and friendship. I was so proud of her at that time, how she managed to turn Fate and braved the wickedness and ignorance of the others. That's why I don't understand this attachment to Malfoy. It has destroyed everything she took so much time to build, and it seems like she doesn't give a damn. Like he's more important than even us, her family.
I walk toward her, and I can hear the noise of the common room decrease. They all want to know if I'm gonna yell at her again. I see the tiredness in her eyes when she looks up at me. I see pain and hurt, it drives me crazy, so I can't even raise my voice, and just asks her in a whisper to follow me. She nods and gets up, we head for a empty classroom to talk.
She seats herself on the window sill and looks outside while swinging her legs. I take place on a desk, facing her. I just stare at her blankly, I wait till she looks at me. Which she does after one or two minutes.
"What do you want Ron?"
"Mum asked me to talk with you, to sort of understand you blah blah blah, so here we are."
"Nice." her tone is sarcastic, and she frowns while raising her eyebrows.
"Listen, I'm worried for you, ok? Malfoy is a bastard, he's such a-"
"He's also my friend."
"But why? Why him? You don't need him, you had plenty of friends before, you were happy, weren't you? Why screw everything for such a git?"
"I don't think it's any of your business. You should trust me, and that's all. Did I ever judge you on your friends? I never told you that you had befriended Harry to gain a little spotlight. I never told you that Hermione was your friend because her brains were useful."
"You know it's not true!" I'm slowly losing my control, and I'm on the edge of slapping her. She has no right to judge me!
"Yes, I know it's not true. And you should know that I'm not possessed, that I'm not under a spell, and that I'm perfectly able to choose my friends."
"Seems like you've lost your mind, my dear! Do you realise what you've lost? And what did you gain with this whole story? Nothing!" I spit at her.
I can see I've hit a nerve, she's slowly losing her temper too.
"How do you that I haven't gained anything with him, huh? You're in my head now? You're living my life? I don't think so. I'm sick of lying, I'm sick of being perfect Ginny, the girl that fights everything and is always happy. And on top of everything, I'm sick of being useless."
"What does it mean, sick of lying? You're not lying! It was all an accident, and now, it's all forgotten, it's just a memory! You can move on, and have a sunny life!"
"You're so immature Ron. You live in a bubble and don't understand anything. The Chamber of Secrets has marked me forever, and it's not just a mere memory. Nightmares plague me, and I've hidden it all, cause I didn't want to lose my friends. But Draco doesn't judge me, because his past is not bright either. Our stories have not much in common, but in a way, we're similar. Always hiding, and always suffering in silence. But you, what do you know about that? You always had the simple way!"
"You don't know my life either! But it doesn't matter in fact, I don't want to see you again. Not only aren't you my sister anymore, but you don't exist at all anymore, you're not worth my attention. You can go with him all you want, I don't give a damn. You can go and become a Death Eater if you want, I'll have no pity for you if I meet you on a battle field. Forget me, and forget the rest of the family too. You don't belong there anymore, you don't belong to Gryffindor anymore. You're dead."
I turn and leave. I don't want to see the tears welling in her eyes anymore. I feel stupid for not having known about her nightmares, I feel like she betrayed me, because she prefers to talk to the enemy than to me. I don't hate her. I can't even do that. No, I'll just mourn her death, and that's all.
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*Ginny's pov*
I thought I was done with the insults and the stabs, I guess I was wrong. Each time, it hurts more. I'm bitting my lip, I don't want to cry in front of him. I hold my breath and look at him, trying to hide the distress in my eyes. I bit my lip so hard that I actually draw blood. The pain eases my feelings a little. I guess I've just experimented with self-injury, though it wasn't predetermined.
Ron is leaving, I breathe again. I free my tears and they fall on my lap endlessly. The night is settling down, but I don't want to light the candles that are in the room. I just want to stay in the dark and let the shadows wrap me in their coldness.
I cry for hours, curled up on the window sill. My lip has stopped bleeding, but the pain is still present, and it calms me. I'm scared, do I turn to self-injury too? My head hurts, my body is sore, I'm cold. I'm miserable, I want to die. Alone.
"Ginny?"
Who found me? I don't want to be found, I don't want to fight again! My fingers turn to fists while the figure is approaching. Draco. It's only Draco, my friend, my ally. He sensed something was wrong and came. I'm not alone. The realisation makes me cry again, but they're tears of relief this time. I feel his arms around me and realise how cold I was. I tell him everything in a shaky voice. My sadness comes back, I can't help it. I'm so bitter. He says nothing, he just holds me tighter and rocks me till I calm down.
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*Draco's pov*
I can't believe we're already Monday morning and that we're also in the middle of November. Next Saturday is the first Slytherin match, but I don't think I'm on the team anymore. I know they've started to train a long time ago, but I've never gone to a simple training, and I'm sure the new captain found somebody to replace me. I don't give a damn, but my dear father's reaction worries me. I can foreshadow where I'm gonna spend Saturday night. Damn hospital wing.
But I don't want to think about that for now. I've got potions first place, and Gryffindors to face. Slytherin have left me alone, especially Pansy, it's pretty nice. But Gryffindors, it's another matter. It's not because I've started to eat again that I'm much better. I'm aware of my latent weakness, and even in spells and such, I'm sure Ron can beat me easily. My only chance is to arrive nearly late in class. I'm pathetic, I can't even face Gryffindors anymore.
When I turn the corner near the classroom, they're still all outside. Snape is late, which is very unusual. And it annoys me, I can't go back, I've to wait there with them all. Gryffindors, and Slytherins. My world is complete.
"So Malfoy, spent the week-end killing muggles with Daddy Dear?" says Weasley in a careless tone.
"Want a drink and some cookies to go along with the tea room conversation?" I drawl back. He seems surprised, he probably was expecting a blank stare, like the Slytherins the other day.
"Let's use the term interrogation." He's still pretty calm, it's surprising.
"Oh. And since when are you abilited for this kind of practice? Do you have any valuable excuse for your impolite behaviour?" This is starting to be fun.
"My excuse is my sister, you bastard!" Yep, I was sure he wouldn't have so much self-control as to talk civilly with me for more than a minute. He's getting angry, and I know that if he throws himself at me, or if he draws his wand, I probably will lose the fight, but it's still a game for now, and my next move will hit him right in the face.
"Ahem, sorry, but she told me no later than yesterday night that you didn't want her as a sister anymore, and that she didn't existed for you anymore, so excuse me, but I'm a bit lost in your reasoning."
I push back from the wall where I was leaning as Snape opens the door. I'm pretty sure he's heard our conversation, but he won't say anything. His politic is to never get involved in students problems, he's not mad.
Weasley is on the edge of killing me, I can see it pretty easily. I hope my comment about Ginny made him think a little bit. Can't he understand how much she needs her family?
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*Sophia's pov*
I was Ginny's friend since the end of our second year. In first year, everybody thought she was weird, and had no personality, so she had no friends. In second year, she was feared by everybody. She had been possessed by Voldemort, and you never know what could happen with that fact. But she quickly made our minds change. Her natural kindness and her good sense of humour made us all love her. For being in the same dorm as her, I know that nightmares about the Chamber of Secrets still plague her, but she never burdened us with that. She pushed it in a corner of her mind, to make us forget, scared that we would turn our backs on her. And now, it's done, for another reason.
We're in Divination, and I stare at her discreetly. She's bored, but this is not new. Trelawney always liked to predict her death, like she used to do with Harry Potter. Always telling her she had a dark soul and some other things. Of course, it's extremely clever to tell someone that has been possessed that she has a dark soul. It certainly helps her.
The more I look at her, the less I can hate her.
Colin elbows me.
"What?"
"Why are you looking at her? She doesn't exist anymore!" he whispers, throwing sideway glances at Trelawney, currently rambling about Elisa's tea leaves.
"You were her friend too, how can you hate her so much now?"
"She went with Malfoy, it's sufficient."
"For me, it's not. And till I know everything about this, I'm not gonna judge her like that. Besides, I've already a plan to learn a few things."
Colin looks at me in a awe. He's quite the coward type, and I don't think he's very keen on plans and plots, but I need help, and being two will give us bravery. "What is it?" he says in a quivering voice.
"Spying, my dear Colin. Spying." I grin evilly. I know Ginny will not be very pleased with that, but if it's the only way to discover things, it has to be done. I hear Colin sigh next to me. I was sure he wouldn't be enthusiastic.
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*Colin's pov*
I generally hate Sophia's ideas, and it's not for nothing. Here I find myself spending my lunch break spying on Malfoy. Oh joy... We've been following him for a few minutes now, and he seems to head outside. Why go outside in such a cold weather, do tell me. I try to get Sophia out of the plan. I don't like it at all. In fact, I'm practically deadly scared of Malfoy. He's impressive, and most of all, he used to bully me pretty badly, after the whole Harry pictures things. To tell the truth, I'm no spy material, and I think I'm soon going to pee in my pants.
Malfoy has stopped on the cliffhanger dominating the lake. He sits right on the edge. Damn, how is he not afraid of the heigth?
He stays motionless for about ten minutes. Just gazing at the lake and such. I'm uneasy. If he catches us, we're dead, and plus, we're losing our time and I'm hungry. I elbow Sophia to make her leave with me, but she suddenly catches my wrist and makes me come back behind the tree where we're hiding.
Malfoy is still sitting on the edge of the damn cliff, but he's retrieved something from his pocket. It's shiny and silver, but I can't see what it is, we're too far. I don't know what he's doing with it, but he's using it on his arm. Now, this has awakened my curiosity, and it's my turn to drag Sophia to a closer hiding place.
Bloody hell, it's a knife, a freaking knife. And Malfoy is cutting through his skin with it. I think I'm gonna faint, I'm not very keen on blood. No, I don't think anymore, I simply fall to the ground with a loud noise.
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Somebody slaps me harshly and I wake up, to find myself facing Malfoy. Sophia is nowhere to be seen, the bitch has left me behind. Malfoy doesn't seem very pleased to see me. I sit up and starts to stutter stupidly.
"So... H-how are y-y-you?"
His arm is still bleeding freely and this sight drives me crazy, I can't help looking at it, but at the same time, it disgusts me. I shudder, and he laughs.
"Scared of blood, Creevey? So why'd Gryffindor send you to spy on me, if you're so fragile?"
I try to regain my senses, I don't want him to think I'm weak and stupid.
"They didn't send me. And yes, I'm afraid of blood. And you're a freak, if you ask me. A bloody freak. You're mutilating yourself, it's horrible! No normal people would do it!"
"What I do is none of your business, Creevey. And you can think that I'm a freak as much as you want, it's been a long time since I've cared what people think about me."
"Does Ginny know?"
At that, he looks away, I'm not sure he's gonna answer, I believe I'll probably be hexed soon and gets up, ready to run.
"Yes."
And with that, he leaves. I realize that I have hardly breathed since I woke, and I realize how scared I really was. Relief runs through me and I head back to the castle. One, I'm gonna kill Sophia. Two, I've to talk to Ginny.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LoL!! I love how you've involved Colin and this Sophia person. Very good! And Colin's thoughts are sooooo funny!!!! Grrr, Ronald, I'm becoming impatient with you. I can understand that he feels betrayed, though. If Lucius hurts our Draco, I swear.... *gets knife* Normal people...hmm.. who is this normal of which Colin speaks?
If you want to know, I've no bloody idea, lol.
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A/N: Ok, I'm not gonna humiliate myself publicly but..... PLEASE, REVIEW!!!!! *crawls on her knees* "I thought you didn't want to humiliate yourself?" Don't remind me..... *sigh*