(Rated I for Immature)
Suddenly emboldened, Russian T-14 Armata tanks advanced into Eastern Ukraine. The Ukrainians put up meager resistance as they fled the scene. Giving the tanks air support were Russian Mi-24M attack helicopters. Ukrainian troops fled as the helicopters blasted them with 12.7mm machine-gun fire. The tanks fired as well destroying troop carrier trucks and jeeps. One Ukrainian unit fired an anti-tank missile at one of the tanks but it merely deflected off its armor.
At the PATRIOT facility just outside Moscow, Major Alina Lanina watched the scene unfold from the helicopter and tank cameras. With these cameras, she could see everything Russian forces were seeing. With their satellites, she could see the entire battlefield in 3D on a table.
"Not really a challenge, are they?" Kara smirked.
Alina gave her a patient glance. "Never underestimate one's opponent. The battle is not won until it is over," she said.
"What battle? These are just border skirmishes," Kara said unimpressed. "Why don't you unleash me? I'll sack the whole country in a week."
"As much as I would love to see that, the answer is no. You must remain a state secret for now. That is Major-general Nikolai Dolgov's orders.
"Maybe another purge is in order," Kara suggested.
"Do not talk about our fearless director that way," Alina scolded. "He's one of the few of us that was an officer in the Soviet army.
"Not really an accomplishment," Kara mocked.
"You know what? I've had enough of your shit, Private Snowball," Alina said to her.
"When can I make corporal? It's always corporals that do badass things in those American movies," Kara asked.
"Oh yeah? Which ones?" Alina asked curiously.
"Like Corporal Hicks from Aliens, Corporal Megan Leavey who handles dogs, or Corporal, the Polar Bear from Madagascar," Kara listed.
"You sure know a lot about American movies. Perhaps, you've become their asset," Alina accused.
"Fuck you, Alina," Kara smirked.
"Drink this whole bottle or you're not truly Russian," Alina placed a vodka bottle in front of her.
"Challenge accepted, Major," Kara mocked and then proceeded to chug it down.
"Major, we have a problem with our prototype tanks," an analyst informed her.
"What kind of problem?" Alina demanded, becoming serious.
"Well, they're killing our guys," the analyst said dryly.
Three-legged tank platforms armed to the teeth with Gatling guns, cannons, and anti-aircraft missiles began firing on Russian tanks destroying them. "What the fuck is going on?" Alina demanded.
"They've been hacked. We no longer have communications," the analyst said.
The Mi-24M helicopter came in and fired on the prototype tanks with S-24 rockets. The prototype tanks used their legs to roll out of the way before they could be hit. The tanks then fired anti-aircraft missiles at the helicopter destroying it as it fell out of the sky.
"We've lost all our assets," an analyst said to Alina.
"Well...shit," Alina replied displeased.
"Still think you don't need my help?" Kara smiled.
As the smoke cleared, a muscular bald man with an electronic suit emerged. "I will make them Ruskies pay for what they've done to my home," he pledged as he led the tanks away.
Guardians
Nikolai held a meeting with security chiefs in Moscow. Alina and Kara were in attendance at the table. "We've lost a number of Russian assets designed to look like Ukrainian assets manned by Russian special forces pretending to be Ukrainian rebels in Ukraine but officially listed as being on the Russian side of the border to a Russian terrorist that defected to Ukraine," Nikolai said and then paused so as to not confuse himself.
"By all means, continue," Kara mocked.
"After the Great Patriotic War, the Soviet Union investigated the possibility of creating meta-humans. They spliced human and animal DNA to create the perfect mix in secret labs. One of our scientists, August Kuratov, wanted to develop a way to control machines remotely. When his experiments failed, he was replaced by Professor Victor Golbanov at the technology department. Golbanov was very successful. In his envy, Kuratov attempted to sabotage Golbanov. He stole Galbanov's research and experimented on some unlucky people," Nikolai continued.
"Does anyone find the video screen behind us distracting?" Kara asked as a massive video screen showed documentary footage of the subject at hand behind them.
"It is a little distracting, yes," one security chief said. "Can we turn it off."
"No, as I was saying, Kuratov was jailed for his transgression. He escaped and defected to Ukraine. We searched his place, but he set an explosive trap destroying crucial evidence. In the explosion, Kuratov was disfigured. He now has great strength and is very aggressive. He can control other machines as demonstrated by what happened today," Nikolai explained.
"Even machines without computer chips?" Kara asked.
"Yes," Nikolai answered.
"That sounds like bullshit," Kara doubted.
"No one asked you," Nikolai said annoyed. "There's only one way to defeat him."
"Oh, I know this one," Kara raised her hand.
"No, you can't be allowed to be seen," Nikolai rejected. "Instead, we will use the victims of Kuratov's research. We will use their revenge as motivation. They must be found and persuaded to help."
"I could think of a thousand better ways to handle this problem than to recruit emotionally unstable freaks of nature that haven't been seen in decades," Kara mocked.
"In Russia, beautiful women are meant to be seen, not heard," Nikolai said to her.
"Ah, he called me beautiful," Kara said to the silent Alina.
Nikolai and Alina took an underground secret train to the underground facility known as PATRIOT. "That's the last time I let her in on one of our meetings," Nikolai grumbled.
"Yes, director," Alina agreed.
The two entered the very secure facility only to find Kara leaning in a chair. "Damn...it," Nikolai said annoyed. The two sat down in a hall full of analysts. "I need you to find these freaks. I don't really need them to stop Kuratov, but I want my own super-hero team. It's time Russia had its own Justice League, and I wouldn't have received any funding if I didn't link them to this case," Nikolai said.
"This is Russia. We'll track them down," Alina said confidently.
"If they don't cooperate, have our own asset terminate them," Nikolai ordered.
"You want her to be with me during this very sensitive mission?" Alina said, uncertain of that.
"I can't have you killed on my watch. You're the hottest agent Russia has," Nikolai said seriously.
"What shall this league be called?" Alina asked.
"Guardians," Nikolai answered.
"Let's expand that to Guardians...of the galaxy," Kara suggested overhearing their conversation.
"No," Nikolai rejected.
Within an hour, Alina had all the information she needed to find the so-called Guardians. "If you guys are this quick, why does it take you so long to find spies in the UK?" Kara asked.
"Oh, we know about them shortly after they arrive. We just like to watch them, poison them, and then patiently wait as they waste away. It makes the chase more satisfying," Alina said.
"God damn, remind me not to fuck with you," Kara said impressed.
Alina smiled. "Let's move."
Alina and Kara ventured to an Armenian Orthodox monastery in a valley surrounded by Caucus mountains. "Good thing I can fly. I thought that plane was going to go down a couple of times," Kara remarked.
"Stop talking shit about our planes," Alina said offended.
Kara entered the abandoned monastery and looked around. She then saw a bearded man in Monk robes deep in prayer. Kara took on monk robes and joined him. "Don't let this beautiful woman distract you," Kara teased him.
The monk tried to ignore her as he finished his prayers. Kara waited patiently for him to be done. He then got up and walked away. "Your self-control is amazing," Kara complimented.
"Do not tempt me, devil woman," Ler said to her.
He stepped outside and was ambushed by Alina. "I am Major Alina Lanina of the PATRIOT program.
Ler juggled rocks off the ground and then lifted a few hundred stones off the ground into the air. Alina faced him down without fear. "You want to use me for your advantage?" Ler asked.
"Yeah," Alina said nonchalantly.
"I live here alone as a shepherd. I am a hermit," he told her as he dropped the rocks to the ground.
"I'm here to give you a chance at revenge. August Kuratov is still alive," Alina revealed.
Ler took off his hood becoming super-serious. "The chance to kill Kuratov has me rock hard," he answered.
In the Kazakhstan desert, a lone warrior dressed in black had two obnoxiously large curved blades on his back. He had black hair and an Asian look. He waited for several trucks mounted with machine guns to approach him. Within a split-second, he sliced through the leading truck killing the leader. The truck split in two and fell apart behind him. The bodyguards then turned their machine guns on him. He quickly swiped them all killing them before they could get a shot on him.
He then noticed Kara and Alina watching him. "I always wondered why Flash never used a badass sword," Kara remarked.
"Who are you?" Khan asked.
"I am Major Alina of PATRIOT. We need help to kill Kuratov," she said.
"I'm in," he said instantly.
Kara looked around for any living witnesses. "Let's see how fast you really are," Kara said to him.
Khan's eyes turned white as he sped towards her. Kara and Khan sped across the desert as Alina watched. Kara dodged all of Khan's punches and kicks as she kept up with his speed. Kara then appeared near Alina. "His speed is not bad."
"What are you?" Khan asked stunned.
"Death," Kara said seriously.
"Just call her Karina. Let's go," Alina said to him.
In the forests of Siberia, Ursus was a muscular blond man with a light beard. He entered his cabin and found his porridge already eaten. "Who the fuck ate my porridge?" he asked out loud.
"It was neither too hot nor too cold. It was just right," Kara said to him.
Ursus stared at her and then suddenly Kara was tossed out of the cabin throwing pieces of wood everywhere. Ursus came out of the cabin with the head of a bear and paws for hands while still keeping much of his human form. He roared in rage at Kara and then noticed Ler, Khan, Alina, and a platoon of Russian soldiers. Kara got back up and dusted herself off.
"Help us kill Kuratov," Ler said to him.
"I am a Bear," Ursus agreed and then changed back to his human form.
The Guardians met up at PATRIOT. Nikolai entered the room and looked over the Guardians. "We managed to track Kuratov. We have the GPS on one of the stolen tanks. He will soon realize it. So, now we have the element of surprise but not for long."
"I say we bomb the fuck out of him. Only way to be sure," Kara said.
"No, I want to see you Guardians in action. If this mission is successful, Guardians will become Russia's most elite team," Nikolai said.
"Half of us aren't even Russian," Ler pointed out.
"I'm only in this to kill one man," Khan said.
"We'll see if you feel that way after Kuratov is dead," Nikolai said dismissively. "Oversee the mission," Nikolai ordered Alina and walked off.
Alina waited for him to leave. "I'll go with you. Karina will watch our movements."
"For this kind of mission, we cannot be worried about your safety," Ursus disagreed.
Alina suddenly became translucent as she became living water. "I can become water, and I can control it. Like water, I am indestructible."
"Holy shit," Kara said amazed.
"I stand corrected," Ursus said as Alina became human again.
"Keep this to yourself," Alina said to Kara.
The four Guardians entered a wrecked city in the middle of a rainstorm. Alina shed her uniform revealing a special suit she designed for herself. "I will scope it out," she said becoming translucent in the rain.
Alina walked around Kuratov's armed guards looking around for Kuratov. The guards noticed something off as Alina's cloak wasn't perfect in the rain. Using infrared, they could then see her. They waited for her to get into position and then fired at pipes above her. The super-cold liquid nitrogen descended down upon Alina freezing her solid.
With their element of surprise lost, the other three Guardians attacked. Ler used his rock-throwing ability to bash the guards. Khan sped through several guards slicing them up with his blades. Ursus became half-man/half-bear and started thrashing.
Ler used the rocks around him to form rock armor around his body making him bulletproof. He punched at the guards with his rock fists. Khan sped faster than the bullets as he sliced. Ursus would get hit and then regenerate from his wounds.
However, a distracted Khan was suddenly shot with a poison dart. He took out the dart but the damage was done. He fell to the ground weakened. A net gun was fired against Ursus pinning his arms together. As the net tightened, he was forced to go back to his human form. Ler was confronted by Kuratov himself. The two charged at each other with Kuratov pushing Ler hard enough that he lost his rock armor. Kuratov then proceeded to beat the shit out of Ler before he could form his rock armor again. Kuratov finally took Ler above his head and slammed his knee into his back, Bane style.
A sonic boom was heard as Kara landed in the ruined city. "Impossible," Kuratov doubted.
"More like mission impossible," Kara smirked.
Kara quickly smacked and disarmed all of Kuratov's guards. Kuratov ran off as Kara defeated the last of the guards. She then focused on the defeated Guardians. With her hands, she snapped the net off Ursus. She then used her heat vision to melt Alina. She became water again and then reformed into her human form.
"What happened?" she asked alarmed.
"The Guardians are still alive, but Kurotov got away," Kara told her.
Alina then glared at Kara. "Why the fuck are you here?"
"I saved your life, bitch," Kara pointed out.
"You are Russia's greatest asset. You are what balances the world. You cannot be exposed. We cannot lose you," Alina scolded her.
"I think you have a gratitude problem," Kara said to her.
"You are more important than me," Alina told her.
"So, I should just let you be frozen forever?" Kara asked.
"Yes, if need be," Alina told her.
"Damn," Kara said upon seeing Alina's resolved face.
Alina picked up Ler's receiver. "Get me a helicopter," she ordered.
The Guardians were airlifted to PATRIOT and given a training regime. "You guys are all weak as fuck," Kara remarked.
"Sorry we can't be as strong or as powerful as Superman," Ursus rolled his eyes.
"Superman? Really? That's a low bar," Kara said disdainfully.
"Just how powerful are you?" Ler asked Kara.
"Infinite," Kara replied.
"Why do you even need us then?" Khan asked Alina.
"Karina's powers can't be seen. She's a state secret," Alina told them.
"And we are not," Ursus asked.
"No, no one gives a fuck about you three," Alina confirmed.
"God damn," Ursus realized.
"Karina is our last resort. If you want to kill Kuratov, you will need to train," Alina told them.
"Let's begin," Khan agreed.
Kara practiced with Khan avoiding all of his swipes with ease. Khan tensed up as he tried to increase his speed. The two went so fast that the Russian analysts could only see blurs. Khan then appeared in a kneeling position and put his blades away.
"You missed me," Kara smirked.
"Did I?" he asked rhetorically.
"Yeah, you did," Kara confirmed and then Kara's uniform fell off her body.
"Damn, not bad," Kara said sheepishly. "I'm going to need a new uniform," she called out.
With Ler, he was given a whip with rocks strung along a cable. With his control of rocks, he could control the whip with his mind easily. Kara dodged all of his swipes and then went for a punch. Ler turned his whip into a shield to block her. Kara punched him to the ground. Ler then swiped under Kara's feet tripping her. Kara fell backward but stopped herself from hitting the floor as she suspended her body in the air. Ler then wrapped his whip around her body.
"Good," Kara smiled as Ler released her.
Ursus became half-bear-half-man and wrestled with Kara. After a brief session, the two had hands to paws locked. The two pushed back on one another in a contest of strength. Finally, Kara pushed Ursus to the floor. Kara gave him a hand as he changed back to his human form.
"There's something about fur on a man that I really love," Kara said, uncertain about her feelings.
"The fuck?" Ursus wondered.
"Tell me, can you change other parts of your body into a bear?" Kara asked.
"Sure, I can be all bear except for my head if I wanted to," Ursus said.
"How about you become a bear except for your hands, your chest, neck, and head," Kara listed off.
"Oddly specific but okay," Ursus said changing his body to her specifications.
Kara was positively aroused by his new form and yet somehow disturbed by it. "Tell me, have you ever made love with your bear penis."
"No, what the fuck is wrong with you? God damn," Ursus said concerned for her.
Kara smiled and then frowned as if something was wrong. She turned away from Ursus as she felt an anxiety attack. "You alright?" Ursus asked concerned.
"I'm never alright," Kara replied leaving the room.
Kara and Alina then watched as the three male Guardians trained against each other. "Why don't you join in?" Kara asked her.
"I don't need training," Alina replied.
"Oh really?" Kara scoffed.
Kara then fell to the floor and couldn't move. "What the hell?" Kara wondered.
"Your Kryptonian cells are invincible but the water inside you is not. Your body is two/thirds water. I can keep you in this position for as long as I want," Alina said calmly.
"For any and all offenses I have done to you, I'm sorry," Kara said to her.
"That's better," Alina smiled and then released her.
Meanwhile, Kuratov activated a large conventional force of tanks, missile trucks, troop carriers, humvees, and the prototype tanks to march on Moscow closing down the major highway. The fleet of vehicles faced little resistance as it reached Moscow.
"Why aren't we destroying them all with our air superiority?" Nikolai raged to defense command.
"As you know, these vehicles are expensive to replace. If you kill Kuratov, we get back our fleet, no?" a general replied to him.
"In the meantime, many civilians could be killed," Nikolai pointed out.
"When have we ever given a fuck about that?" the general replied.
Nikolai hung up the phone disgusted. "We must find a way to kill Kuratov and stop this invasion," Nikolai said to the Guardians.
The Guardians watched as Kuratov used explosives to take down the Ostankino tower. Using cables attached to attack helicopters, he transported the tower towards the Moscow financial district between several skyscrapers. The tower was then suspended between the skyscrapers in the financial district. Kuratov then activated an energy shield to protect the tower from being hit. Inside the financial district, he was relatively safe from air attack.
"If we attack with everything we have, it could be deflected off the shield and destroy several skyscrapers. It would be even worse than the 9/11 attack in Manhattan. Moscow would take decades to recover," Nikolai said.
"We have new information that Kuratov intends to use the tower to connect to an American satellite. If successful, the American satellite will launch one of its nuclear warheads on Moscow. If that happens, President Putin will likely blame the Americans for the attack. It could trigger a nuclear war between the United States and Russia," the security chief informed Nikolai.
"Mother of God," Nikolai realized.
"So...maybe you should use me to stop him, you think?" Kara asked him.
"Not yet. The Guardians could still be successful," Nikolai said.
"Well, okay then," Kara said taking a seat.
Ler entered the city of Moscow using the subway tracks. He walked into a guarded parking lot and began attacking the guards stationed there with his whip. Ursus and Alina took to the streets and did a frontal assault on a roadblock. They managed to secure a rocket pack and Gatling gun. Ursus mowed down Kuratov's troops with his Gatling gun and then swat the troops remaining with his paw. Alina fired a rifle at the troops. Whenever she was shot, it would go right through her body like water. Kuratov's prototype tanks then came in and started firing at Ursus. Going full bear, Ursus charged one of the tanks forcing its own gun to fire on the second tank destroying it. Ursus then disabled the tank he was on. Khan dropped down into the financial district from an airplane and used a cable to get onto the tower directly.
Ler, Alina, and Ursus (still a bear) entered an elevator towards the top floors. When they got to the right floor, they saw a cable going from the skyscraper to the tower. The cable was narrow but crossable. Ursus looked down realizing that if he slipped, he would totally die. "You've got to be shitting me," he said as he went back to half-bear, half-man.
"Stop your bitching. Let's go," Alina ordered. The three walked on the cable towards the tower. Inside the tower, they found the glowing power source for the tower's shield.
"We have to turn it off," Alina concluded.
"How?" Khan asked.
"Ursus, do you have any more rockets?" Alina asked.
"I am a Bear," he replied in the negative.
"Well...shit," Alina realized. "Everyone stand back."
Alina went over to the wires of the control source and then grabbed a hold of them. She received the shock of her life as she was zapped. The shield then went down. "What the fuck?" Kuratov wondered on top of the tower.
Ursus then grabbed Alina and tore her off from the cables zapping himself in the process. The two fell onto the bridge leading to the control source toasted. "I...am a Bear," Ursus said painfully.
The four Guardians got to the top of the tower and confronted Kuratov. "Russia ruined my homeland. You ruled over us for centuries denying our independence. You killed millions of us in that famine. You purged us. You turned us into slaves. And now...you hope to rip us apart in two. But no longer. Now, I am going to make Russia pay for her sins," Kuratov said.
"I understand your pain. Armenia has also faced the brunt of Russia's might. But you cannot kill millions of innocent people," Ler said to him.
"The city is evacuated," Kuratov told him.
"Well...shit," Ler said having no defense.
"I also have felt the claw of Russian colonization of Siberia and its people. But Russia has kept us from invasion from the South," Ursus said.
"Like whom?" Kuratov asked.
"Well...I don't know actually," Ursus said confused.
"Central Asia is not Russia but it has been used by Russia as a nuclear dumping ground and test site," Khan said.
There was a long awkward pause. "Did you have anything more to add to that?" Alina asked.
"No, I just wanted to say that. It pisses me off," Khan said.
"Look, man, I agree with every word you've said. But there's a problem. You turned us into super-heroes that never age and never die. We've all been exiles forced to watch our loved ones die in front of us for decades. You cursed us with power and immortality and that just doesn't sit right with me," Ler said.
Kuratov gave them blank looks like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You're also ugly as fuck," Khan added.
Ursus turned into a half-bear, half-man ready for action. "I am a Bear," he said.
"I completely agree," Alina smirked.
Kuratov used his suit to deactivate Ursus' Gatling gun shocking him to the floor. Ler used his whip on Koratov, but he caught it, pulled it towards him, and then punched Ler nearly knocking him out. Khan went for a strike but was punched before he could slice into him. Alina dodged Kuratov and grabbed Ler cloaking them both. Ler then wrapped Kuratov with his whip pinning his arms to his sides.
Khan then got up and saw his chance to make the kill. Dramatically taking out his blades, he took his sweet time to charge. Kuratov then ripped the whip off of him throwing Khan back to the floor. Ursus then became full-bear and attacked Kuratov. The two charged each other and then Kuratov upper-cut Ursus to the floor dropping him.
"You guys all suck," Alina chided.
"I am a Bear," Ursus groaned.
Nikolai waited as long as he could. "Abort mission. We'll just airstrike the bastard."
"Understood," Alina said from her earpiece. "We're leaving," she said to the others.
"Got it," Khan said throwing his blade with cable towards the airplane he had fallen from. The blade then hooked onto the airplane.
Alina, Khan, Ler, and Ursus took hold of the cable and flew off from the tower leaving Kuratov behind. Kuratov aimed his hand at the airplane deactivating its engines. The plane went a short distance and then started falling into the city. Khan cut the cable at the right moment sending all four Guardians into a lake. The plane then hit the ground in a fiery explosion that consumed a city block.
MIG-29 fighters then came in and targeted the top of the tower. They launched one missile from a good distance away. Without the shield, the missile went straight for Kuratov. "You have not won yet, Mother Russia," Kuratov said as he was hit and instantly killed.
"The satellite is still targeting Moscow. It must be pre-programmed to fire with or without Kuratov's commands. We have no way to turn it off," Nikolai said alarmed.
"How about asking the Americans for help?" Kara suggested.
"Fuck that," Nikolai said stubbornly.
"Look, I don't want to tell you how to run your intelligence agency, your military, or your country how to do its business, but you done fucked up. How about you let me help this one tiny time," Kara said.
Nikolai looked at his computer screen frustrated. "Fuck it," he said finally.
"You just said the magic words," Kara smiled and then flew through the PATRIOT roof showering debris on top of Nikolai.
Kara accelerated through the air towards space. With her super-vision, she could see the satellite right over Moscow. With increased acceleration, she reached outer-space and then punched the satellite in half destroying it.
"Well...I'll be damned," Nikolai said as he saw the readings on his screen.
Nikolai assembled the Guardians together. "You are, by far, the worst super-heroes I have ever seen," Nikolai scolded. "But you're all we got."
"I think we're done here," Ursus said wanting to leave.
"What?" Nikolai asked incredulously
"We killed Kuratov. We have achieved our revenge," Khan said obviously.
"You can't just leave," Nikolai said to them.
"I think we just did," Ler said taking off with the others.
"Hey, guys, don't leave, alright," Kara said to them.
"Why not?" Ursus asked skeptically.
"Think of all the adventures we could have together. In America, they got hundreds of heroes. They got heroes that no one remembers or cares about. They have leagues and associations that no one cares about anymore. They have so many heroes that each individual hero no longer matters. It's the law of diminishing returns on steroids," Kara said to them.
"What's your point?" Ler asked.
"We are just five Russian heroes. Just five and together we could kick all of those American heroes' asses. Granted, 99% of our power comes from me, but we would be unique and remembered," Kara said.
"If you are all of our power, what makes us so special," Khan asked.
"You got style, man. I've never seen the Flash take blades and gut a man like a fish. Ler, I bet if you trained hard you could move continents. Ursus, you're a fucking beast," Kara complimented.
"The sun is 99% of the mass in the solar system but each planet, moon, comet, and asteroid is unique and special with its own personality and story. Will you be my planet? My moon?" Kara asked them.
The three Guardians stared at Kara. "I want a prayer room," Ler demanded. "I want some sick blades," Khan seconded. "And I don't want to pay any taxes like...ever," Ursus said.
"Done," Nikolai said to them.
The three then went off to celebrate their victory with lots of drinking involved. Nikolai turned to Kara. "Rousing speech but you better believe I'm the sun around here. You better not forget that, Private Snowball," he said to her.
"Oh, Nikolai, you're an asshole but one I can have fun with," Kara smiled.
"I await the day when we can reveal you to the world. You were a team player, and I appreciate that," Alina said to Kara.
"No problem. If you all were totally competent and never needed me, things would be boring," Kara said to her.
Alina smiled at her backhanded compliment. "Have fun tonight. You've earned it."
As the Guardians got wasted at a popular bar in Moscow, the DEO was monitoring the situation. Brainiac 5 hacked American satellites and found pictures of a blur splitting the old missile satellite in half. Enhancing the image, he saw a blond woman in a teal blue suit. Brainiac 5 quickly typed commands deleting every picture of it he could find.
Alex yawned as she walked over to Brainiac 5. "Anything interesting?" she asked.
"An old American Cold War-era satellite's orbit degraded and then burned up in Earth's atmosphere," Brainiac 5 reported.
"Any threat to the surface?" Alex asked.
"None," Brainiac 5 replied.
"Anything else?" Alex asked.
"Someone decided to place the Ostankino tower in Moscow's financial district," Brainiac 5 said vaguely.
"The CIA can deal with Russia. We deal only with aliens," Alex said to him.
"Well, okay then," Brainiac 5 replied.