He held it back. All of it. Every thought, every memory charging forward, one by one he tugged them back, focused.
Shadows in the corner of his mind were swaying, coaxed by questions to rise in motion.
The questions were over, he was done looking, sorting hasteful through that mound of ashes for specks in color lighter.
He all but stands,
and it all plumets down.
XX
"What do you want from me?" chained up where they brought him to bleed he asked.
"…Nothing, for now," Thanos said standing before him.
"…Then why are you doing this?"
"…You'll learn soon enough,
like the rest."
XX
Every step was heavy. Every breath fell shallow.
In sight now the others stood before him. Some spoke, he couldn't hear them.
Tony approached him.
He was smiling.
Greens wouldn't settle on browns that would see
everything.
XX
"Do you want to be free?"
Loki laughed hoarsely. "And what would you want in return?"
He received no answer.
Thanos left wordless.
XX
Cool, brisk air stepping out he inhaled, but it went down searing.
Into vehicles they all climbed. Steve on a motorbike. Nat, Clint and Bruce in a car, he, Thor, and Tony in the last.
In he moved, shut the door, stilled, glared demanding, begging his thoughts to quiet.
XX
"Do you want to be free?"
"…Just kill me."
Silence.
"We both know this'll only end one way."
Silence.
He left.
XX
"You didn't lie, did you?" he looked not at the browns asking, gazed through glass sitting still,
told him voiceless: "…No."
XX
"Do you want to be free?" Unbidden tears from his eyes rained unrestrained.
Thanos approached in thudding steps, held with a hand his bleeding face harshly, expressionless, toneless asked again: "Do you want to be free?"
…
…Loki sneered, hissed breathless: "Fuck you."
XX
Fisted hands he blinked and shifted, huffed, insisted: "Stop the car."
Stumbled out when it halted.
The world was spinning.
There were too
many
people.
He pushed past them, to an alley dim and narrow, heard behind him Tony calling didn't answer, paced faster.
XX
"…Do you want to be free?"
…
…
…
"…Yes,"
he whispered…
…
"What did you say?"
Silence.
…
Thanos knelt down before him, put a heavy hand to his wounded shoulder. Loki under his grip had tensed, shook with tears,
then greens locked onto a gaze cold and unfazed,
pleading: "…Yes."
…
…Thanos smiled.
XX
Shallow breaths, his stomach lurching. The wall aside he pressed his hand, tried to straighten standing.
Water welled tenacious in his eyes igniting wrath that pain toppled down, like waves against crashing.
Red face, veins protruding he pursed his quivering lips, clenched his fists, tore at his tie, hissed as he battled his mind that was unyielding.
Tony saw how he leaned against the wall he and Thor both approaching, shot an arm out promptly, telling Thor to stay his place as in caution though still hasting he got closer.
Every step he took filled him with dread, the sounds of struggle nearing, Loki's body that was heaving.
Very, very carefully, he touched him, just barely, still Loki recoiled harshly. "Hey, easy! It's me." But Loki was holding out his hand, looking at the ground, and browns declined to capture greens but up they looked away.
Streams of tears stained red cheeks enraged the latter. Gentle but firm Tony grabbed his face, pulled it down, forced greens to meet browns. For a beat he caught them, then they gazed down, exerting such inconceivable and very visible effort to compose himself, to hide.
"It's me," Loki heard him again whisper,
looked at him.
Glossy brown eyes bore into greens unblinking.
He conjured a smile, nodded at him, said again: "It's me."
Loki wholly came undone.
Wasting not a fraction of a second Tony took him into his arms. "It's okay," he told him. "It's okay," despite his weeping heart.
His sobs at first were brief and short, then with a sudden agonized cry he fell, tumbled to his knees and Tony followed.
Thor stomped forward, behind the others trailing. Tony waved them all away viciously.
His voice remained both tender and stern, reassuring Loki: "I got you. I got you," pulled him closer, grip solid. Loki cried violently, uncontrollably, trembled with every breath shaking, clutched at Tony and clawed and Tony with tears in his eyes brought him closer, held him tighter, told him repeatedly, incessantly: "It's okay. Let it out, I got you. I'm right here. Let it all out.
I got you."