Klonoa and the Nightmare

Noma is bored and sick right now... so she's gonna write a story! Whoo! There's just plain not enough of Klonoa, we need more. This is starting at 1:29 in the afternoon... let's see how long it takes me... This is gonna be a fucked up story, as usual...

By the way... I don't own Klonoa, or anyone related. They all go to Klonoa Works 'n Namco. I don't own Final Fantasy, either! Whee!

----------------------------------------

Klonoa was bored, so he decided it was a good opportunity to take a stroll over to Guntz's house... thingy. He didn't exactly know what it was, but did he care? No. He didn't even know if he wanted to call it a house... a shack, maybe, but not a house. Guntz was rich in bounty money, but that didn't mean he was gonna live somewhere fancy.

He arrived, and began pounding on the door, "GUNTZ! Open up, damnit!" he chirped happily. Guntz swung open the door and gave Klonoa a cold, eye-twitching stare, for daring to bother him at this specific moment.

"What the hell do you want? Can't you see that I'm busy?" he opened the door a little to reveal that he was playing Final Fantasy VII, going by his apperance it was non-stop. Klonoa sneered, he hated that game with a passion. He stomped over to the system, grabbed the controller, and threw it at the tv with all his strength, making the tv explode.

He turned his head like a crank, very slowly and shakey. "You. You go outside, now. Evil. Very evil." he started to walk out with one foot dragging, grabbing a pissed off and screaming Guntz by an ear along the way.

"You fucking ASS. Look what you did! You blew up my fucking system! That cost me money! Not all of us can get stuff for free, you know! We have jobs that help us get on with life! I hate you! I wish you never came here! I wanna kill you! I should kill you! Where the fuck did I put my gun? Once I find it, you're dead meat! Gwaaaaaaarrrr!"

He had spent all that time flailing, stomping, screaming.. he didn't even realize Klonoa was frozen in place, in what looked to be fear. They were on the outskirts of a town, looking into it, to see Guntz's most favourite feline of them all heading into it. That's right, it was Janga!

Klonoa reached a hand around in search for Guntz, not making any other movements, "G... Guntz..."

"I think... I think I found it! Klonoa, stop friggen shaking me! Whaddya want?" he looked over to where Klonoa's eyes were in that very instant, "Oh my God! THAT CAT!" he screamed as he automatically charged in for an attack.

Klonoa started to freak, "Wait, Guntz! This isn't a very smart idea! ...Come to think of it, you've never made any smart ideas!" he shrugged, starting to casually and slowly walk over to the bomb that was about to set off.

"Aha, Janga! So we meet again!" Guntz yelled to get the cat's attention, flailing a gun around.

"Ehhh...? Ahh, it's Butz's whelp again! ...How lovely it is to see you!" Janga snickered, burying his face in his scarf a little.

"You asshole! You're gonna die now. And... hopefully stay dead this time." Guntz said, giving his gun an aim at his prized enemy.

Janga quirked an eyebrow, "I told you, boy, it's quite early for that. 'Sides, both of us know that you, of all people, will never be able to kill me. Not without dragging you down with me, anyway."

Guntz growled, then randomly fell to the ground, twitching his foot now and then. It made Janga stare curiously, wondering what the hell he should do. He walked over and sat next to the wolf, tilting his head ever so slightly, "You alright, kid...?"

Guntz looked up at Janga with a big smile, "Kitty!" he squealed, leaping up to hug Janga tightly, who was too shocked to even know what was going on anymore.

It was at that moment that Klonoa came up with an ice cream cone, he opened his eyes to see what was happening before him. "Guntz! You... you slut! I'll never forgive you for this!" he threw the ice cream at Janga, smacking him straight in the eye.

"What the fuck is wrong with you two?" Janga screeched with clenched teeth, trying to pry this newly mental Guntz away from him. He wasn't succeeding, the boy was too stubborn to let go.

By this point, Guntz was nuzzling into Janga's chest, "Ooooh, Janga-chaaan..." he sang.

Janga got up, sat himself against a house, and sighed.

Klonoa was running through the forest with his face in his hands, crying uncontrollably. This kept going until he slammed into a tree.

"OW! Son of a bitch, you're gonna pay!" he declared war upon the tree, shooting at it with a wind bullet numerous times.

Lolo walked up at that moment, because she simply knew Klonoa was there. She had seen him from her reading spot, and decided to go up and say something. "Klonoa... what's wrong? What did that tree do?"

He kept his pace, not stopping to look at the little monkey... lion... thing. "This tree made me run into it, so I'm extracting my revenge!"

...Really, he had only gotten the first layer off it, and that's all it would lose.

"Oh... well, alright." she decided to think nothing of it, and simply walked off into the sunset.

Out of completely nowhere, Klonoa heard a voice echoing through the woods.

Klonoa...

"What?"

Klonooooaaaaa...

"What the hell do you want?"

I want... your assistance...

"Wait. Is this the King of Sorrow?"

Maybe...

"Kingey, I told you. It's over. You have a baby to worry about."

But, Klonoa... you told me what we had was special...

"Yeah, well.. I say a lot of things. Now off with you!"

Awww... was the last thing Klonoa heard, before the echoing died off.

Klonoa couldn't think of anything to do at this point, so he allowed his body to take control of itself and run off once again.

"Guntz..." Janga growled impatiently, "It's been... forty-five minutes... I think you can let go of me now... Believe it or not, I do have a life..."

Guntz looked up at Janga and gasped, "NO!"

Janga groaned, then an idea popped into his head. He started to run one of his claws down Guntz's back, a bit on the rough side. He was trying to see if Guntz would catch the hint. If he didn't let go, he'd simply use poison claws to force him away.

Guntz thought Janga was starting to scratch him like a dog, and started to kick his foot and make what sounded like a murring sound.

"Kid, you are beyond creepy..."

"...And you're not? You're the one with the... eye... and the lack of hands... and the fact that you're dressed up like it's winter, when it's summer in reality..."

Janga gasped, "I cannot help the way I was born!"

"...Birth forced you to dress like that?"

"No, you idiot! The claaaaws!" Janga started to wimper, suddenly jealous that generally all of the people in Lunatea had hands, give or take Tat and Popka. But those were little freak shows, at least he looked normal compared to them... well, in his own mind he looked normal. He whipped out a bottle of strong alcohol, chugging it down quickly.

Guntz stared, "How the hell are you holding that with no hands?"

Janga spit out a little bit, growling furiously, "Don't question my logic! I need to hold stuff somehow!"

The young wolf started to think, "...What does it look like under your sleeves?"

"...Huh?"

"Are you stupid? I said under your sleeves! You do know what those are, right?"

"Well, duh..."

"Okay, so lemme take a peek."

"No! It's private under there!"

"Aw, come on! I've known you generally my whole life, you can at least lemme see!"

"I said no, you little brat! I wouldn't even show Butz, so why should I show you?"

"Because I'm cuuuuuuuuurious!"

"So fucking what? Shit, Guntz! Get away!" he howled as Guntz knocked Janga's head against the wall of the house, trying to make him go unconcious so he couldn't fight. He denied it, trying to slash at the boy, but couldn't.

"You're friggen twisted, whelp!"

"I only wanna see what's under there!" Guntz squealed, wiggling his tail like mad.

Eventually, Janga managed to get back, grabbing Guntz while he stood up and had the boy hanging in the air. "Now, cut it out. Trust me, there's nothing interesting there, since I have indeed looked."

Guntz was starting to pout, with arms crossed and a mean stare, like a child who hadn't gotten the toy they wanted.

Janga kept watching him for a couple minutes, before sighing and dropping him. "Off with you. I have errands to run. I'd spend more time and kill you, but by now, Garlen's not going to be too happy. Now, ta-taaa!" he ran off as fast as his long legs could carry him.

"Wait, Janga! Noooooo...! What about my mocha frappucino?" he fell to his knees and started crying.

Klonoa walked up slowly, putting a sympathetic hand on his friend's shoulder, "It'll be okay, Guntz... it'll be okay.."

Guntz looked up and sniffled, "Will you buy me a mocha frappucino, Klonoa...?"

"Sure... but it can't be too large, 'cause I've only got so much money on me."

"Really? Yay!"

And with that, they skipped off and went to Starbucks, and lived happily ever after.

------------------------------------------------------

Yeah... if this story gets reviews, I don't see why I won't update with another chapter. OMFG. This story generally took me an hour! Shorter, if I had stopped chatting on Furc. xDD By the way... I got off the computer and came back, so this is merely posted at a later time. Not that any of you care.

By zee way... before Starbucks decides to read this and sue my ass... I don't own it.