Klonoa and the Nightmare

...Baaaah, just read... Can't think of a summary.

You all are smart enough to know I don't own any of this. I don't need to give a disclaimer.

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After Klonoa had gotten Guntz whatever stupid Starbucks drink he wanted, he decided to ditch the loser and go find someone to torment and pick on. He searched around until he found his lucky target: Chipple.

"Heeey, Chipple..." he crept up and purred in an awfully sexual manner.

Chipple whipped around and started screaming, "Oh, God! NOT YOU! I thought I had you done in after the wolves got you!"

Klonoa tilted his head, "...Errr, what?"

"You heard me! The purple kangaroos haven't shipped in until the teatime afternoon, and the water is boiling hot!"

"Yeeeah... that's really lovely, but look at the time! I gotta get going!" Klonoa scurried off in a panic.

"The bats have my soul! Dear Lord, please save meeeeeee!"

Yeah... anyway. We don't know where Klonoa's run off to, and Guntz's part of the story would just plain be boring at the moment. Unless you all like reading about how Guntz was wasting his time watching a snail slowly go by.

"Teehee, it's really pretty!" Guntz giggled excitedly.

Mhm... that's about it. Let's shift on to Janga and how his life's going, 'cause at this particular moment, it's getting mighty interesting... he was running through a forest until he met up with a cave, making no stops to look at the outside of it. Slowly, the cave developed man-made walls, which led to a room filled with computers and heavy machinery.

"Yo, fatass! I got the shit you wa---"

Garlen jumped down in an instant, pointing an accusing finger at Janga, "You! Asshole! Don't call me fat! You're going to interrupt my work because my mind will be set on that. Which means you won't get paid. Which means you won't get your precious booze."

Janga turned his head to the side, spitting curses at the younger man.

"Aaaanywho... it's done now!" Garlen turned to the side, exposing what he had made.

Honestly, I don't know what he made. It's something weird, and something big. Probably to boost his ego, that lamer. It didn't have any specific animal shape or anything of the sorts, it was just something they'd use to destroy the world... or something.

Janga stood in what looked like awe, but you can't really tell with that psychotic face. "Mm... very nice. And we're using this for... what, again?"

Garlen whipped himself around, looking up at his masterpiece. "This, my friend... heh heh... this is something to destroy the biggest corperate businesses, the rulers of certain kingdoms, and Oprah Winfrey! Do not ask why about Oprah, because they're reasons of my own!"

...Reason being she wouldn't help him destroy the world. God knows how she managed to get into Lunatea. Waaait... she's Oprah! She can do whatever the hell she wants!

"Alright... well, can I get paid now? This job fucking sucks. I hate running errands."

"Siiiiilence! I'll have to turn you into the police with that attitude!"

...If y'all know Janga, you'll know his doings.

"God, Janga. Why do you always have to be Mr. Enthusiasm of the year?" came a voice from the shadows.

Janga sighed, "Joka, you damned idiot, stop trying to act like you're all dark."

"Awww..." out came Joka, looking pretty depressed from Janga's comment. He couldn't wait 'til he could bring Ghadius back, so Janga and Garlen both would meet with their demise. He randomly stood there, ignoring what Janga was spitting to cackle evilly. Eventually, he got smacked on the top of his head with the flat end of metallic claws.

Let's go see what Guntz is doing... he was walking through Jugkettle, because he was bored and didn't have anything to do. Wow...

"This is queer." he whined as he fell sideways dramatically. He realized that was a big mistake, for he couldn't get up... so, he started to cry.

Klonoa... was found! He was busy terrorizing little children in what is usually a sweet and care-free park! What an ass.

"BWAAAAR! FEAR ME, KIDDIES! FEEL THE WRATH OF THE DREAM TRAVELLERRRR!" he growled, clawing at a crying child.

Only but moments later, a shadow came up behind him and grabbed him by the shoulder.

He turned around quickly and gasped, "Ahh, you banananut...!"

You won't get to know who it is... yet... because suspense is awesome.

Guntz eventually got himself up, thanks to a local, and began browsing around the conveniant places of the city. He found himself in a hospital, where strange things were about to happen...

"This is an awfully dark and evil looking place, for a newly made hospital..." he folded his ears back and shuddered.

The elevator was broken, so he shrugged it off and took the stairs. Fatty needs to lose some pounds. Anywayayay... when he got to the top, he looked to see it was a very, very dark hallway and endless that had about eight doors on each side. In the middle of all this, were some empty wheelchairs that were speeding along and doing random wheelies. Silent Hill 4 veterans would totally understand this.

Guntz walked up to one of the wheelchairs and poked it while giggling, "Heey, you're a cute lil' guy, aren't you!" he smiled happily.

The chair, however, was not appreciating this. It backed up some, then sped up and ran him over. Again, SH4 veterans would understand this.

"Heeey! You son of a bitch! GET THE HELL OFF ME! OWWWW!" he screamed as it ran over his back numerous times.

Janga was leaning against a wall, doing absolutely nothing except complaining about how bored he was. He thought Garlen said he was finished, but apperantly the fat bastard lied.

"Fine! If you're so bored, go drunk yourself up!" Garlen said, throwing just the right amount of money down to Janga, instantly smacking him square in his messed up eye. ...Is that eye blind or something?

Janga hissed, ignoring the fact that his eye just got hit, "That last part made absolutely no sense!" and scooped up the money. You can point and laugh at that part, he doesn't have any hands. (Noma believes otherwise. No hands for kitty-cat!)

Garlen watched Janga stomp out the door, then looked over at Joka, "You go with him, I don't feel like having him kill anyone just yet." Joka nodded and ran out the door without a word.

Garlen watched and listened until he heard the door slam, then whipped out a chicks magazine. "Awahawhawww... you're a naughty little chicken, aren't you... yeah, bakaw bakaw..."

Janga buried his muzzle entirely under his scarf, saying a large amount of curse words. Who knows as to why he was so pissed... but he felt the best way to get rid of such a heavy dose of anger was to get himself drunk.

But... he'd forgotten where the nearest bar was, for Garlen's base was in a completely new area. Kinda... plot conveniance... the duo hadn't a clue on where they were. They kept walking on until they reached what looked to be a completely deserted city. The buildings were very weird... the entire place was merely a variety of browns, helping the place look very dull.

"It's kinda weird... how an entire city could be abandoned like this..." Joka said, running his finger along a railing. He found there was no dust or rust in sight.

"Yeah... can't be that old, if it doesn't look it.." Janga replied, his eyes scanning the entire area before him.

It wasn't long before they heard a sign of life. It sounded like... weeping? Huh. They figured they might as well go ahead and investigate. All Janga could think of was finding the nearest bar, even if it meant asking for directions. Joka kept his mind on getting the whole thing over with, and a hint of Ghadius was in there. ...A bit on the obsessive side, he is.

"Is there... anyone there?" Janga yelled out, his voice carrying an echo.

No reply. Damnit...

"Yo! We can hear your voice! Where the hell are you?" Janga yelled louder in an irritated tone.

"Please... show yourself?" Joka called out also. "It makes much more sense to be polite than rude, if you want to get what you want, Janga-chan."

Janga looked down and growled, "Yeah, whatever. Let's just head up and see what it is."

And so, they did. It's surprising it didn't take them long, especially since they were practically at the bottom. They wasted their time listening to the weeping voice get louder and louder.

Once they got to the top, they stopped and took a breath. Yep... I lied. They took at least a little while.

"Aha... so there's who has been making all that noise..." Janga grinned, earning devious thoughts in his mind.

"Yes...?" a pause from crying, "May I help you?" the King of Sorrow turned, looking at the two figures behind him.

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Oooh, how suspenseful! I absolutely had to add Kingey in my story. He's adorable! -Cuddlewuddlewuv- though... he'll never be able to replace my Janga-chan... -Snuggling Janga while he's roughly tied up to a chair, with tape over his mouth.- Eheheh... umm. Well. I worked an hour and a half on this... hopefully it's funny, like I want it to be, and serious. I'm practicing on writing serious stories. :D Reviewplzkthxbai?