For those to meet them now, Thor and Loki, can never presume that they'd get along or ever would've. Too different with barriers strong, of the one all-loved and the other out-shunned.

But people when they're young they still become, when they're young almost they're the same, all seeking, creating, shaping themselves and as they do, to one another they are alike, of the surrounding and external influence are coaxed to dismiss each other or get along, and the latter had been and had gone so well.

Once a time they shared a bond so strong…

Their childhood remembered little of troubles, despite that Loki had felt always somewhat different. Not alone from his brother but everyone. Not then by blood, but mind.

Where it was they were different at the time had fit, what one lacked the other provided. Loki's mind and schemes, Thor's strength and spirit, the pranks they pulled, the fun they had.

…Much had changed with time, when their tight little circle expanded to enlist more of those too similar to Thor, heightening Loki's sense of alienation.

More with age as they made their names in Asgard's, fighting for her fame and glory where in battle Thor claims triumph more times then many, cheered and praised by all so loved, a champion, Odin's pride…

…

…He knows Thor's sentiments for him are pure and real, his care.

He hates it…

…

…No.

He hates that even in this they differ…For Loki's heart was soaked in a poisonous envy that until today he'd deny.

…It'd be easier, he thinks, if Thor never cared at all, as he's made himself believe that Odin never had.

…And how difficult does Thor make this?

"Brother," approaches the god beaming brightly. Loki'd normally be indifferent but he was deep in thought, one problem demanding a solution and soon as can be – he hasn't the time for whatever Thor's intent at the moment, hasn't the tolerance {this best be important.}

"…What?" asked stressed but Thor doesn't note it nearing Loki's desk in the library books atop it and one before him left open untouched.

"Why don't you come join me upstairs?"

"No," shot back promptly he looks down at pages unread sweeping through them busily hoping Thor would take the hint and leave. Naturally that doesn't happen. Thor settles onto the chair across him, speaking still.

"There is a good movie playing-"

"I said no, Thor," it's then that it's plain not subtle, how thin of patience Loki was and it makes Thor wonder why, what with all that had been going on warranted such vexation. He'd barely said anything, surely it can't be him. Leaning forth then what desolate perplexation turned to concern on his openly expressive face as he crossed his arms atop the table and asked heedful:

"…Is everything alright?" knowing well that if no Loki likely wouldn't say. He wanted him to, right now he needed him to. He'd been at such relief having spoken earlier to Tony, believing alas that it'd be well, things would be well, for both of them. It's too soon – what had gone wrong?

{What had gone wrong?} Nothing per se, just what he'd long been avoiding, what fact that never changed he'd never paid the mind because…

Because what could he do?

Caught between feeling cripplingly helpless and dead set on finding a solution, tugged often back and forth but now, with Thor, looking up at he who claims brotherhood, he who cares, willing to help without yet reason,

almost like he'll succeed, and Loki was not optimistic by nature.

If there's an issue it's in how to phrase it, what he needs to ask and what he knows would not be lightly taken let alone consented to, but he needs it.

Loki's distant gaze blinks and greens set low he says quietly: "…I need it back, Thor." Though by the ambiguity confounded it wouldn't have taken Thor long to guess what when Loki says it, greens on quizzic blues locking firmly. "…My magic."

It takes a beat for what's cross of confusion and discontent to pull in Thor's face, but when Loki speaks next, what he says, puts him at a loss. "The apple won't work on him, you know," quickly and clearly in greens it shows, what rarely ever he'd seen –

scared, desperate, pleading.

"…I have to find another way – I need my powers," added that more in urgency his hands on the table fisted tight and his eyes on Thor's unmoving.

…

…It is Thor who breaks his gaze.

…Just so all along and though with all his might he'd worked precisely at not acknowledging that one thing, one fact that no can't be changed:

time.

For all his claims of joy, all the hope in them that he sees, it is temporary – he never thinks this; he looks at now, but Loki's always looked ahead,

how can he tell him not to?

…He tries to appeal to his sense of reason, "…Loki there is no other way-" it's not too surprising that it doesn't work, considering of whom they were speaking.

"I will make one," spat back sharply, more anxious than with certainty, but he was, he had to be. How many spells over the centuries were invented, and yes how many for a mortal or of another species have failed to preserve but where others failed he can succeed. Nevermind his reputation that was tainted or obscured he was of the most powerful wizards in the nine realms – he can. "I can't do that without my magic," insisted sternly – silent Thor looks at him were it not of the thoughts so many in his head it would show what Loki wouldn't have him dare wear, pity in the eyes that upon him would look but they remain so dazed lost in things like Loki that are similar, looking now ahead as well dreading with all his heart what would be of the day that Tony would leave them, contemplating the possibility of Loki conjuring truly a way to keep him, the costs,

and yes to ponder really if that was his whole intent.

…For to empower him again, what are the costs?

Thor sits up and blue eyes are now alert and pensive. "…You asked to join the team, tell me why." In the slight Loki's lips curl at the question – weren't it obvious? Yes or no, of course they'd question him, and to admit it still vexed him an instinctive intent to react as indifferent and detached but almost then weary he gives in asserts it lowly.

"…For him." At those greens that have a great deal softened Thor's blue ones warm and he smiles faintly, somberly.

"…Do you love him?" Loki looks up at his brother, fights the urge to say it promptly,

then as rapid his mind by thoughts is swarmed, heart taken aching, looking, remembering, the way that browns shimmered beaming after love, a smile that sent him soaring, three words spoken soft yet firm {"I forgive you."}

{"Kiss me,"} one kiss after the other, of passion or sweeter or deeper. Nights that so instantly transform from one dreaded terror to a sanctuary of peace and warmth, together they'd lay so close to feel every inch of one other, shut their eyes, hear each other breathing, letting go completely, because when they wake up, they know…

Now he frowns and his face that looks down, like in pain or so sorely disappointed and he whispers it: "…More than anything."

There isn't a chance in seven hells that of this Loki would lie, Thor's insistent, impossible, and what he dreads has every right to,

…that he thinks that he can stop it, prevent it…

…What would be of no acceptance is a lack of attempts, and in all sincerity, Thor trusted Loki's mind, abilities,

the incentive and his as well it shall be. Never had he met that alike of Tony, save his brother. Human or of a different race he was special and worth every try.

"…Loki," Thor calls this time more firmly. "I promise I will do everything in my power to help you," words that in Loki stir attentive, the hours past he'd spent seeking answers and alas now looks he'd grasp one end of a thread to follow. "Give me time-"

"Time?" snapped widely impatient. "All we've had is time, Thor-"

"Make a name for yourself, prove that you are on the path of redemption so that I am able to persuade the council and father-"

"No, you only need persuade him and you know," Loki sneers, then glowers. "It's more likely he'll refuse-"

"It's more likely he won't. Loki he still lov-"

"Just don't," pressed intolerant with a hand waved up. Thor pauses begruntled, then persisting.

"He still loves you, Loki." Rolling his eyes Loki jerks to his feet, the chair rolling back two feet. He rounds the desk and makes to leave, Thor after staring uncertain what precise to say to affirm this. Midway Loki stops, and over his shoulder proclaims it coolly:

"If I lose him…You'll lose me forever."

XXX

"…So does she know?" [Oh, we're still on that?]

"What?" Tony asked inertly, surfing the tv channels.

"About. Your feelings for Loki." [*groans*] he faces Happy dully.

"Yes. If she pops in here, she's gonna tell you that I cheated on her," though that's said incredulously a beat and then he looks ahead, matter-of-factly says: "…In a sense, I guess that's true," feels the need to clarify: "I didn't sleep with him, not until after we broke up so keep that in mind," whatever defective sense of self-judgment in him tipped and he acknowledges: "But I guess sex isn't the only way you can cheat on someone."

"…No, it's not," Happy asserts contemptuously [*rolls eyes*

Yes, alright fine. You guys wanna call me the bad guy, I don't mind,] call him what you will and that was fine. There's things he blames himself for and they had little to do with what others say and what they think. In this situation he can't find wrong that had gone in what he'd done. He told her the truth didn't he? He broke it up before anything actually happened, and if having feelings for Loki was a crime in itself then she was just as guilty because he isn't blind either. Does she think he doesn't notice? The way she interacts with and acts around Steve? The not so subtle flirting that naïve little Steve never receives, how she smiles at him, how frequently she talks about him. Should he bring it up she'd yell like he'd offended her and talk him down about being paranoid and insecure. That had been one of their worst fights.

"…So you're with him now?" Happy asks, pulling him from unpleasant recollection.

"Mhm," Tony mutters reluctant because oh and he knows just every thought recurrent then in Happy's head and he'd pay no mind except that what thoughts he likely wouldn't keep to himself.

"Like. Officially?"

"Little early to give it a name, but pretty much."

"…And. What do the others have to say about that. Do they even know?"

"We're not particularly discreet about it. Whatever's going on in your head right now is what's constantly going on in there's. Not that him and I care."

"Course not." Tony sits up now irritable, though he ought to expect the vexation given his deliberately nonchalant attitude about the situation.

"You can judge it all you want, Happy," then what he finds himself saying without prompt and heart racing: "Doesn't change the fact that I have never been happier with anyone else." Taken by that rather aback Happy cocks a brow high, for a beat stays silent then queerly says:

"Dude, you've only been with like three other people."

"And how many does it take to find the person that fits just right?"

"How in god's name is that person Loki?!"

"Why are we still talking about this?" said reprovingly and again ahead he looks wanting earnestly to wrap this up. "I told you you wouldn't understand-"

"Then explain."

"I can't," shot back and speaks next in impetuous haste. "You won't see it for yourself and if you do you'll find another way to make sense of it – all except the truth. If the moment ever presented itself and you start to think maybe he cares, you'll just automatically assume he's got some ulterior motive and the things, the person that he is with me, when we're alone, you're never gonna meet. The one who hides behind that mask of a 'maniac' so you're left trying to guess his every move and intention, never knowing what he'll say or do because that's the only game he can play as opposed to letting you see that he actually has no clue what he's doing or what he's gonna do next. He lost everything. His home, his family, his identity – all of it was a lie; how do you think that makes him feel? You think he's ever gonna let show just how far he fell?"

…Happy's left truly speechless. Never before had he seen Tony speak this way, so worked up red and frustrated – for what? The hurt and pain of another he tells as though it were his own – so strange from him was this to see. The way before he spoke of Loki was as odd but now, now it's gone pretty far, further ever that he'd seen it go with anyone, with her.

What then can he say?

These outbursts that tend to happen when Loki's involved more often than not surprise Tony himself, less nowadays. He sighs at the face that Happy's making, stunned, falls back in his chair yet he's still talking on, admitting aloud what to others he had not and probably shouldn't but what did it matter, if he did or did not?

"…I am doing…everything I can to…Give him something to look for," recollection befalls him at what days ago Nick had said to him: "…a reason to stay."

Happy's left as thoughtless still stumped and Tony talks on avoiding his eyes to speak aloud some of his most inner thoughts that as though just now he was acknowledging before knew not even that they existed, face then furrows like it pains him just to ponder. "I can't…go back to the way things were…He…changed everything."

Attempting still to process Happy finds himself asking: "…Like what?"

Snapped from a daze Tony looks alas up at him, conscious enough to wonder at the wisdom of answering that. The only precaution was the way Happy would react still he paid that no mind when on impulse smiles softly and browns shimmer alight – it creeps Happy out before again Tony looks down and tells in a tone much lighter though the smile's briefly gone. "…You know I've always felt…different, weird, sticking out in the crowd – sure as the billionaire genius slash resident superhero. I mean, inside, it's just…No one's ever…understood me, the way that he does. No one's ever seen me so…well. And he's," he pauses perplexed abruptly looks up at Happy says: "…You know I can't think of a single thing that I don't like about him." Happy pulls an incredulous face at him.

"…That's cause you're head over heels for the guy." He should've seen the wide grin coming.

"Probably." The nurse comes in with Happy's food, interrupting the prolonged conversation.