Chapter 3 Fountain

Neil casual walked out, then immediately rubbed his hands in malicious planning. He took out Thomas' invisibility cloak and lost weight drastically in the belly area. Thomas had been wondering why he had gained 5 kilograms when Neil only ate peas and corn. Previously, Neil had stuffed the cloak further up his body but when it made Mrs McGonagal faint, he thought better and shoved it down elsewhere. Then putting the cloak at his rear end was just as bad for it twice as emphasized 'Longbottom'.

Wow… how cool! Neil smoothed the cloak. He was a sneak, thief and a Longbottom! Neil cheered and skipped through the corridors and up the stairs and pass Professor Udgeditch and up another set of stairs. Before the last turn of steps, he slipped a black wig on, covering his chestnut hair. His brown eyes blinked and stared the fat lady veiling the entrance of the common room. She hadn't spotted him so he cast the cloak off and ambled towards her, Gryffindor-like.

"CHILD WHAT ARE YOU DOING H-HERE?"

Wow. She was loud.

"I need my puffer!" Neil made a constipated face.

"Oh okay. PASSWORD?"

Neil grinned stupidly. He'd watched this so many times that he knew those stupid, careless Gryffindor's passwords.

"ASPALAGASSIOUSO!" He screamed 'Open Sesame' fashion.

"AND?" The fat lady demanded. After Malvin managed to enter the Ravenclaw's dorms, the paintings were taught to accept a series of passwords. As expected, Malvin and his crew wrecked havoc and managed to stamp 'I'M A CORN PUFF' on all the Ravenclaw's foreheads. Professor Udgeditch resolved it by sticking bits of invisibility cloaks on the children's foreheads but it was semi-permeable and you could see pass their skin and into their brains. Snape took advantage of it and taught his potions class parts of the brain.

Haha… Neil stifled a laugh as he saw the fat lady turn. She blinked. Neil continued:

"Aspedodeotallithanius. Yogutraowrquilladelphia. Tofuisreallynictoeatgoeatit. Dudeweoiqnl iwoeujwioe DLFJ sirueir SRIAEWPROIEW oieroer wpaoeiOPSIRAEOR qpo3i2940JO IEJIORUWRP111! 000 !" Neil screamed punched the air. Then coughed to emphasize the precious 'I need a puffer' act.

"WOPRIWEROP laaarrhh." The fat lady offered.

"WROUIRE 0092 GO AWEZ STOOPID LALA RA RA RA." The boy conversed, shook his fists and replied. "RAR har har go get RAC insurance. u so st00pid n00b harhar i crash n burm my c4r 2 uuu b1gbum ARJ587 wioeuwqoei WI. 11! 1"

"Alright. Wotw. I love you too." The fat lady opened up the gates to his goal. Neil smiled and entered the room. Slam!

Neil sighed and took out his puffer. Took seven deep puffs. 1… 2… 4… 7… Okay. The common room gave a gracious warm golden glow. Neil glanced around. And gaped.

He wanted to be in Gryffindor! It had tables, candles and toilet paper… plus curtains, moss on the floor and… he stomped the bathroom tiles… STAR FISH TOILET SEATS! He bet they had foam beds too. And all probably because of all the publicity Harry Potter and friends gained… spoilt brats. Why couldn't HE be in Gryffindor…? He whined and spotted a disco ball that further sunk his ship. He was dearly reminded all the Hufflepuffs got was a hobo night-light.

Anyway… where was that thing?

Oh, a light switch. Click! He SHRIEKED at the blinding disco ball's light and ran to the next room, dark. Gloomy… aah… perfect place to put it. He ran through his admirable aim in jovial hope to muster courage: Thomas' birthday was coming up and anyone who wanted to be cool had to give him the coolest birthday present ever! And Neil knew just exactly what it was. Plus, if he got it, it would bring them two, and maybe Louis, together. The Marauder's Map. He grinned. Neil knew it was in the Gryffindor dormitory somewhere. The professors had it encased there as it was an important part of Hogwart's history. He bet though the current Gryffindors had really no care and probably kept it somewhere as good as next to a toilet without no star fish toilet seats. Neil began to snicker, revelling at his delicious plan of success and popularity. … Neil… Thomas… Louis… we could be, like, the knew Marauders! He chortled and gurgled. Hiccup…

"Huhu… huhu… huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu." Suppose it was his evil laughter. Neil began to run, excitement of the possible future and his hands swept the dark.

"HHWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

He doubled-over and fell out of an open window.

"And that was how Neil Timothy Longbottom died." Louis lighed, a Bible to his chest.

"You're not very religious." Neil pouted. Of course, he is alive and had been hobbling beside him on crutches despite his two broken wrists.

"Well, you're not a very safe boy." Louis rolled his eyes and adjusted his gas mask. "To yourself. Or to people around you." Geesh, I'm not SARS or anything. Neil rolled his eyes, secretly

Neil groaned, moaned and scorched a scorn look on his face. That crossed Louis off his possible list of friends, right? … He thinks he's a hazard! Nu-uh… Unbeknown to him, Malvin had stamped corrosive signs all over his back. Hey! It was true when you see pus dribbling down Neil's left leg.

"Where's your cast?" Thomas had stuck his nose in the air, then pinched it when he realised the stench was even more gnawing up there.

"Um… no need for that one." Neil had replied meekly, then screamed because Thomas had sprayed deodorant on the green wound. Thomas was pretty much lost from 'Possible Friends' list, too. Afterall, Neil looked despicable so it was clear handsome freak Potter would stay away.

As if reading his thoughts, Lucia empathised the only weird way she could converse; "Who would want a friend that looked like a retarded capsicum?" Lucia scrunched her nose and walked away. Neil watched her black, long ponytail get caught in the fountain. She screamed and Neil decided not to help her.

Neil just stared at Thomas' back.

Thomas was walking, snorting and laughing around – and attracting a group of girls.

"Birthday's coming up." A shy girl voiced.

"Yep." Thomas chirped.

"Aaaw… I hope I get an invite!" She giggled and prodded him.

"Um…" He gave a flirtatious look.

"So Thomas… what do you like doing?" She asked.

Thomas winked and laughed. "Talking."

The girl blushed. "Taking to who?"

"You." Thomas rippled his eyebrows.

Oh gosh. Neil choked.

"YOU DIT!" Another girl shrieked and slapped Thomas.

"Hwaaat?"

"You said you liked talking to ME!" The girl whined. And the other girl, gasp and pushed her into the fountain. RAWR. Neil and Thomas got some popcorn. Sitting on a wooden bench and watching the girls, they sighed.

Louis shuffled towards Lucia, avoiding a body slam from one of the fighting girls. "Um. Need help?"

The girl's eyes were watery and she was biting her trembling bottom lip.

"Um. Okay." He whiffed his wand and her glasses were restored upon the bridge of her nose. That made Lucia silent. "Oh, and anyway, I don't think I can tear your hair from the fountain unless I do a cutting spe–"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

And so that's why Louis would spent the next half hour prying his enemy's lock of hair from the mechanical wrath of Hogwarts ornaments.

Now watching an act of compassion and an act of violence present at the water fountain, professors were constantly giving the four houses voluptuous amounts of points. "Ever so symbolic!" Professor McGonagall clapped.

"Ever so extremes of two parallel emotions!" Slughorn chortled before awarding them all eight-hundred-and-sixty-two points and going to his class.

"NICE BUTT WOOHOOO!" Snape shut up.

The two boys 'ooohed' when there was a nasty scratch and sympathised with 'oh, that poor ol' charm!' when the attacker broke her nail. They were gaping at awesome judo drunken technique when Neil couldn't believe his eyes no more.

"Hey, Neil. Here's an invitation." Thomas' eye lids were half closed, masking his peacock orbs so Neil didn't really know if he was bluffing or sleep-talking. So he didn't really believe his eyes no more.

Neil took the piece of paper tentatively. "Uuh… okay." And Thomas said nothing. So it had to be authentic! Suddenly, Neil felt bad… very bad. He failed to get his possible friend's birthday present… I have to try again! Let it be… tomorrow lunch time, he would attempt again and this time, step triumphant on that stupid, open window! Wait, if he stepped on it, he would probably fall out again. Okay, he'll just kick it.

Bolting up with a sudden, new-found energy, and Thomas happily following as if he wanted to make Neil feel better about himself all along, the boys made their way to their potions class.

"Hey, guys!" Louis called half-desperately as he discovered a sailor's knot in Lucia's hair.

"Yeah, Louis. We got your back!" Thomas gave him a thumbs up.

Perhaps these three boys have a secret bond that hasn't properly revealed itself. And Thomas seemed like he was on top of all of this… that's right, he thought with a smile. In his back pack, it wasn't just the Monster Book of Monsters… potion notes… undone homework… he now carried Professor's Boonlong permission and advice on his back: that he should make a sort of club… a group of worthy, yet perhaps different than the norm, boys… and under the layer of stuff, there were three shirts that were scrawled by Boonlong herself 'THE CRUSADERS'.