What was about two hours later one stirred up waking the other along. Sleepy smiles and kisses came and went and they'd have slept again had Tony's stomach not loudly protested having not been fed in over twelve hours. They'd laughed and Loki pecked him on the cheek, beckoning him to move as he rose and dressed, kissed him again and left.

Tony hauled himself up, made for a wash then out came to a bed still amess he smirks.

A thought brief and fleeting then, a whisper, with whom he'd prior shared the space – he swats it off.

It's easy, exaggeratedly so, to block all and every thought away, picture him and his smile, and his eyes, picture them tangled in those sheets, a burst of sensory memories here and there, of touch and smell and taste,

of laughter, warmth, content.

He dressed in haste careless left the room.

Descending towards the kitchen aiming then he halts having heard his name and looks. It's Steve; he walks on, the latter from the lift approaching.

"Yeah?"

"Listen," they stop by the fridge, "me and Clint'll be leaving for an op early morning." Tony pulls out a box of leftover pizza. "Shouldn't take a day or two."

"Okay." Shutting the fridge, he looks where Steve still stands nodding, eyes afar. It's clear he had more to stay, to him, something unpleasant.

As had everyone the past few days, save Thor.

Matter of fact, [it's a surprise you haven't already.

Alright, Steven. Go on and spit it out.]

In a deliberately provocative tone, Tony prompts: "Is there anything else-" putting aside the box he turns to him in full. "-you'd like to add?"

Eyes on him fix and [there it is,] disdain in a gaze, on a face, in a voice yet to speak Tony knows – he ought to be used to it by now, the thoughts he can see circling that blonde crew-cut, but it was Steve, and he had a habit of becoming intolerable very quickly. He speaks:

"…You and Loki-" gets not the chance to string more words when Tony cuts in firmly:

"Yes." And unsurprised Steve this takes in, brow rising slow, lips dipping down as he nodded shortly. A gaze of that familiar disapproval that in such unfathomable swiftness triggers Tony.

"…How long?"

"Why?" he asked in short-tempered perplexation.

"…Were you cheating on her?" [Oh are you kidding?

…Hehehehe.] It wasn't funny.

Fully intent on lighting this up, Tony's face shifts to flamboyant curiosity as he exaggeratedly crossed his arms, asked in scathing mockery: "And if I were, Steve. What would you do about it?" As intentionally, Steve lets show very clearly the contempt that he was feeling, the disgust. And wordlessly, he turns to leave, enraging Tony tremendously, and it sounds.

"Don't walk away from me, Rogers!" Abruptly Steve returns, speaks sternly:

"Do you have any idea what she was going through while you were away, playing road trip with Loki? The kind of mental, emotional torment, wondering whether or not you were even alive."

"Well, it's a good thing she left then. Saves her all the restless little nights, doesn't it?" Tony drawled snidely. Steve sneered.

"What is wrong with you? How can you turn on her-"

"You know what," Tony shook exasperatedly his head, waving hands in dismiss, "why don't you shut the hell up-"

"Of course. Cause you don't wanna listen-"

"No, you don't wanna listen." He snaps then. "You don't wanna hear that it wasn't me, that she wanted to end things the second I stepped foot back. You don't wanna hear that I'm not the low-life cheating pile of scum you'd love to think I am, because I didn't cheat on her. You don't wanna hear that she isn't this pure, fragile, 'faultless' little angel, that I'm not the person she wanted fucking her at night, that you're too fucking naïve to have ever noticed the way she looked at you." What's said stumps Steve hard and it reflects directly on his face everything he was feeling. Shock, confusion, anger, shame.

Tony talks on, a cold, biting satire in his tone returning, his eyes poison. "Or maybe you did. Maybe you're not just looking to yet again berate another one of my personal life decisions. Maybe you care just a little too much about poor, blameless Pepper-"

"No, Tony. I care about her yes, but I've never thought of her that wa-"

"Of course you haven't. Because Steve Rogers isn't like the rest of us tainted folk. He engages in none nor any form of adultery, he doesn't get dirty thoughts." The Stark grins wide, gestures about to an invisible crowd. "Ninety-year-old virgin won't even allow himself to admire let alone acknowledge a sophisticated young gal when she eyes him like a tall tower of candy." Steve's red and raging then, snaps back:

"If you were so sure she had feelings for me, why the hell d'you stay?"

"Because I was stupid," Tony says stonily. "I'm done pretending not to notice, done trying to work towards that image of the person she wanted me to be that I am never gonna be because it isn't me." A smirk of scorn and reproval tugs up the captain's full lips.

"And Loki likes you just the way you are."

"Damn right he does."

"…Well good for you. You managed to find someone who makes it easy." Tony eyes the phrase in a sternly impatient confoundment. Steve gladly clarifies. "Pepper didn't want you to be me, Tony. She wanted you to care, she wanted you to spend as much time with her as you do with your suits, with him." Tony clenches hard his jaw. "She wanted you by her side, she wanted you to think of what she wants-"

"But I only ever think of myself, right?" he asked contemptuously. "Lemme ask you something. What do you know about Loki? List down a couple attributes, go ahead, seriously." Not following the point of the question, Steve regardless complies, bracing for an unpleasant reaction.

"…Deceitful. You can never tell what he's thinking, what he's gonna do; he's unpredictable. He's arrogant. And insensitive." For some reason Tony's sniggering, and it infuriates Steve. "Is something funny?"

"Yeah, no. He's just really good," Tony smiles, stiff features somewhat placating. "The person you are describing, is exactly the person he wants you to see, the person he wanted me just like everyone else to see when he first got here. It's not the person I've come to know. It's not the person he is when we're alone. You think that was easy?" he demanded degradingly. "Someone who's as guarded and private about his actual personality – cause I know that you and everyone can see there is more to him than a smart-mouthed bully. If all I ever did was think of myself, how do you think I got someone like him to open up, how do you think I gained his trust? By being selfish? Taking shortcuts? You think Loki is easy?"

Steve's lips stand in a tight line as he weighs Tony's words, resistant to a change of perspective.

"Unless of course you think I'm the one he's fooling, like everyone else does."

"That hasn't crossed your mind?"

"Not for a second," Tony asserted indisputedly. "If not for anything, I know for a fact he doesn't pretend that he gets me."

"I can't imagine that's hard for him; you got a lot in common."

"I'm glad you pointed that out because it means that I get him just as well. And just like me, he doesn't take that lightly, certainly not for granted. See cause even if there's an 0.2% chance Loki's planning another big bad invasion, he'd want me right by his side. That's how important it is, to have someone look at you and hear and feel your every thought and emotion." Steve's unhearing stuck on the statement prior, then Tony resumes speaking but what he says this time, what it's seemed to all he'd been avoiding just acknowledging he finally phrases,

but it's twisted: "Assume the worst, say I stand against him," and is that the worst? "maybe he locks me up, maybe he kills me," to Tony the words don't feel nor sound real leaving him let alone as possessing any sense of probability,

but what does, what rolls smoothly off his tongue: "doesn't erase the fact that first and foremost, he wanted me with him. So to conclude, whatever the fuck his intentions, Loki sure as hell isn't pretending he loves me." And to have said it, to realize how genuinely he believed that, left him staggered. Shakes it off he looks at Steve whose eyes bear true confusion, struggling to understand,

but trying.

Blue eyes blink, features receding. He looks to the ground, asks dryly: "…Would you stand against him?" turns up a gaze then skeptic, searching when he adds intently: "Or would you take his side?"

"You mean in the 0.2% chance situation?" Tony retorts incredulously.

"Yeah, Tony," Steve affirms in a manner emphasizing seriousness.

There isn't an answer that Tony can give.

It's neither and both, no either or – there's no 'choice,' and he tells him, because they cannot expect there to be. "In all honesty, Rogers…I don't know," admitted and of it Steve knows not what to make.

His answer will never be as black and white as they want it to be,

…though he suspects partly it is…

…Browns soften, his voice it's different, quiet when he asks what the latter doesn't foresee: "…You ever been in love?"

Though it takes a beat blues fall reminiscent.

…There was one…

…She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on, and she was so strong, and smart, and brave; a warrior…even now, but…

was it love?

…

…What is love?

"Then you haven't," Tony tells him doubtless. "Trust me, it hits you right in the…chest."

…Perhaps he doesn't understand. In his mind he can't perceive something so pure as love, whatever his thoughts or past experience – he just doesn't see it between them, be it the kind of people they both were, the person Tony speaks about that he's never seen, or the side of Tony that cares so much, so selflessly as he claims, for another – he hasn't seen it.

Yes there's something there, but it wasn't right, not to him. Because all he's found is lashing, all he's found is more and more proof that Loki was so capable of bringing out the worst in Tony even without directly interfering.

All he sees and all he hears is 'I don't know,' because just like Tony, Steve's convinced that he does.

…And more or less it's asserted: "…I guarantee one thing. I'll do whatever I have to to save him. Even from himself."

And does Tony believe it? That 0.2% chance.

He'll tell you no with such certainty,

but there's as small a percentage in him of true dread…

…

…

No.

"…What if he doesn't wanna be saved?" Steve prompts. Tony deadpans.

"Last I checked, getting saved is not exactly a matter of choice. If I have to beat his ass unconscious and haul him off to an isolated island, that's exactly what I'll do." [You got that, Lokes?]

{I don't need to hear just how far you'd go.

I know.}

"Any other concerns you'd like to voice?" Steve shakes slowly his head. "Good."