A/N: thanks to piperleo4eva, HollyShadow, Charmboy4, kk241289, carey, CrazyGabs, charmedangel429 for your wonderful reviews and suggestions. Hopefully this chapter will mean some of you are a lot less confused and, just a reminder, there is no magic.

Chapter 4

Piper was sitting curled on the chair. Prue and Phoebe were sitting opposite her on the settee and she did everything she could to avoid looking at them. Paige had taken Melinda out for the day. To explore San Francisco was the official reason; they both knew the real reason. Piper, Prue and Phoebe needed time alone together; they needed to talk. They needed to know each other again.

So that's how Piper ended up here. Each sister had been waiting for a chance like this for them just to talk again, but know that chance was a reality, they all wished they could be a million miles away.

"Piper," Prue's voice was gentle; she wanted to get her sister to look at her. She wanted to understand her. "Piper" She tried again.

Piper heard her sister the first time; she just wasn't ready to react yet. On hearing her name the second time she waited a beat, undecided whether or not to react this time or not, and slowly turned her head and looked her sister in the eye.

This was enough for Prue and she continued "Why did you leave?" Her voice was not aggressive or blaming in any way at all, just merely enquiring. She wanted to know why Piper had left all those years ago and didn't see the point in blinding that fact with pleasantries. Without understanding that, she knew that neither she nor Phoebe could even begin to comprehend anything else Piper told them.

"You really want to know?"

"Yes. Why did you do it?" For Phoebe it wasn't just a matter of wanting, like it was for Prue; she needed to know.

"Because I was nothing. Around you two I was absolutely nothing at all. I mean, Prue you were the amazing popular one and Phoebes, well you were just Phoebes and that was great but I was, god I don't even know what I was. It just got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. Grams was always giving you guys the attention. It wasn't deliberate it was just what it was but it got worse. Everyday I felt worse and worse about myself. I had no one at school and it felt like I had no one at home either. I needed to get away, to find myself I guess, before there was no one left to find."

It was the longest thing she had said to them since arriving and it shocked them all. She never expected to be that honest, and they had never suspected that that had been going on.

"Piper...I... I don't even know what to say. Just, sorry."

"You don't need to apologize it wasn't anybody's fault. Like I said, it just was what it was and for me, going away was a good thing. I mean if I hadn't I would never have met Le..." Piper hadn't expected that to come out. She didn't know she had let her guard down that much that fast. She hoped they wouldn't dwell on it, ask questions about him. She didn't know if she'd be able to answer them.

Phoebe and Prue exchanged glances. They knew about Leo, of course. They'd even met him a few times and when they had it was obvious that he and Piper loved one another immensely so when they had gotten engaged, it came as no surprise to them, or anyone for that matter. Prue thought that Piper, at twenty, was too young, yes, but she knew that Leo adored her sister and would never hurt her.

All that they knew. What came next though, they had never known. They learnt, as it happened, that Piper moved to New York then England and that Melinda was born but, to them, Piper and Leo had been too much in love for it just to end without a reason. It was also obvious now, seeing Piper, that the reason was painful.

Phoebe considered just letting the moment pass but despite the distances that had developed between them, she still, in essence, knew her sister; and right now she knew that she was hurting but was trying not to let it show.

"Piper, you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but what happened between you and Leo? I mean you guys always used to seem so happy and now you're obviously not. Like I said you don't have to say if you don't want to, it's just sometimes good to talk about these things"

Piper had known as soon as she said his name that they'd ask about Leo and she'd been adamant that she wouldn't answer whatever question they asked. But then Phoebe spoke and Piper knew there was truth in what she had said. She had talked to Paige about what happened at the time and for a little after and then Piper made the decision that she didn't want to talk about those times anymore and so she didn't, no matter how many times Paige tried to prompt a conversation about it. But maybe now was the time to start to talk again, with the distance of time and to her sisters who weren't there when it happened. Maybe now she'd be able to find some distance and clarity.

"We were happy, I had never been happier than I was when I was with him but like all things, it changed. It wasn't slow change though, it was fast and it hurt all the more because of that."

Flashback

Piper came back from work. She was exhausted and all she wanted was to sleep. The flat was dark so she flicked the light switch on. Hopefully she wandered into the kitchen, but saw nothing but that, an empty kitchen. There was a time when he'd leave her a note on the counter, but not anymore. It wasn't just him though; she'd stopped doing it too. She couldn't remember who stopped it first or why, even when. It was just one of the many things they didn't do anymore.

A tear slid silently down her face, but she'd cried so much recently that she barely noticed. She put down her bag, took of her coat and dropped her keys on the bench as she made her way to the bedroom. For a split second before she pushed the door open, she wished and hoped that she would find him inside. She knew she wouldn't but that didn't stop the familiar disappointment from hurting as the open door cruelly revealed another empty room. She changed and got ready for bed without paying any attention to what she was doing. As she turned to switch of the bedside lamp, the last thing her weary eyes saw was a photo of her and Leo smiling and being so happy and in love in the park only 4 months ago. They'd just found out she was pregnant, and although you couldn't see it in the photo, he had his arms protectively around her stomach. She remembered how safe she had felt in those arms; that nothing else mattered and nothing could ever hurt her as long as she was there. But it wasn't long after that that she... No, she wouldn't let herself think about that. She rolled over in the cold bed, curled up in a foetal position and fell fitfully asleep. Things had changed so drastically since that photo was taken, she didn't know how much more of this she could handle.

Leo came back from work and the sun hung pale in the morning sky. He hated working night shifts. He hated it even more knowing that Piper worked days. It hadn't always been this way; only since she'd...she'd had a miscarriage six weeks ago. Then things began to fall apart. She didn't talk about it, not with him, not with anyone. She had absorbed herself in her work; managing the restaurant had become her life.

It would have been easy to blame their current situation all on Piper, but he knew that it was partly his fault as well. After all, he'd stopped trying to get her to talk pretty quickly and followed her lead by immersing himself with work at the hospital. Unfortunately as a newly qualified junior doctor the only work he could get that he was interested in was a night shift in the ED.

By the time Leo got into the bedroom he'd had enough. He missed seeing Piper everyday; he missed having a conversation with her. He missed being able to love her. He picked up the telephone of the bedside table and dialed his work. After a quick conversation with his boss and a 'Family Emergency' Leo managed to get the next three nights of work. All that was left to do now was sleep and wait until Piper returned.

As she had done for practically every night in the last 5 weeks, Piper arrived home to a dark apartment. She sighed deeply and berated her self for once again having false hope. She walked into the kitchen and, putting her coat, bag and keys on the table, did what she always did. Today she did everything more detached than usual; her day at work had been terrible, the chef had phoned in sick early on and so the best replacement had to be called in at the last moment. Unfortunately 'best' was not the most fitting word; the replacement was inadequate on many levels and so Piper had been dealing with complaining customers all day who seemed to take their dissatisfaction out on her as if it where some kind of personal vendetta. And right now all she wanted was someone to hold her; to reassure her and tell her that everything would be okay. And what she had was an empty lifeless flat. Fighting back emotion she made her way to the bedroom but stopped before she made it. She couldn't deal with another night alone in there. Instead she fell onto the settee, curled up, and, as the strength of her emotions exhausted her, fell asleep.

Leo walked up the stairs, unlocked the door and walked into the flat. He hadn't meant to be this late but had been caught up in traffic on his way back from the shops where he had been buying ingredients for dinner. He hoped that Piper hadn't come back from work yet so that he would be able to surprise her. He walked into the main room which was a kitchen/living room and scanned it. He saw Piper's bag, keys and coat discarded on the bench and on the settee he saw Piper and his heart leapt. She was sleeping and looked so vulnerable, drowning in her dreams and a torrent of emotions that were etched across her face. He walked over to her and, not thinking, gently stroked her hair away from her face.

"Le...Leo?" She slowly opened her eyes and through a haze of sleep she glimpsed him. Or at least she thought she did. He looked so real, and she could feel his touch on her face but he couldn't be there, could he?

"Shhh... yes it's me. I didn't mean to wake you; go back to sleep."

She pushed her tiredness aside and pulled him towards her, embracing him heavily and he returned the hug gratefully. She was overcome with the turbulence of emotions that came with seeing him and began to cry, but these tears were different to the ones that she had shed recently; there was no grief or sorrow in these ones; they were filled with joy, hope and relief.

"I've missed you so much" He whispered into her hair and it sent shivers allover her; she had missed the sound of his voice and his touch deeply.

Gradually they moved into a more comfortable position as he lay down on the settee with his head leaning on one arm rest and she lay beside him, he wrapped his arms around her protectively; he was reluctant to let her go.

"I don't understand. I mean, why aren't you at work?"

"I missed you. We've hardly had a conversation in the past 6 weeks and it was killing me so I took the next three nights of work."

She turned around to look at him in shock "Three nights?!" a smile spread slowly across her face as bent towards her and captured her lips in his own. Their kiss deepened until she pulled away but left her hands on his face. She turned his head so she was looking directly into his eyes. "Thank you" the words were barely audible but were tinged with so much feeling and possible meaning that he had never heard anything better. She rolled over again so that they were both facing the same way instead of each other and his arms embraced her further as he gently kissed the top of her head.

A/N: I know that it's ended mid-flashback which is a bit strange and wasn't really intentional but what happens next will take a lot of explaining and this is already pretty long as it is.

If you read any of my other fics then I'm working on Accident exposure but Diaries is sort of on hold because I have no idea what to do with it next. Sorry about how long this update took in coming and Please review.