House rested both hands on his cane's handle and sighed heavily. Cameron had improved enough to be taken off the respirator, but she was still unconscious. He eased himself into the chair beside her bed. He felt he should say something to her. Something about her was breaking through his nasty front and he didn't particularly like it. He wrestled with himself over what to say and finally settled on something.
"I need someone to talk to patients. Chase sucks at it and I don't like Foreman." He stared at her for a moment and then gave a little nod. He grabbed the remote and switched on General Hospital.
Cameron's eyelids fluttered open and House saw her hand twitch out of the corner of his eye. He kept his eyes trained firmly on the television
"The red button on the left ups your morphine if you need it."
She slowly moved her hand and squeezed his own hand. He still didn't move his eyes from the television, but he squeezed back. Cameron smiled and floated back into unconsciousness.
---x---
"Visiting a patient? I would have thought that was beneath you," Meredith quipped as she replaced Cameron's old IV bags with new ones.
House shrugged as he raised the TV volume. "Unconscious people are incapable of annoying you." He turned to face the intern. "So, you and McDreamy hooked up at the prom?"
Meredith froze and spun around slowly. "How did you know that? You weren't even here!"
A nurse walked in and handed House a folder. He shot her an uncharacteristically charming grin and she left in a storm of giggles. "The nurses seem to like me," he told Meredith. "And they're very chatty."
Meredith tucked her hair nervously. "You're gonna tell Addison, aren't you? To entertain yourself or something equally sadistic. Oh, this is bad; this is very, very bad."
"Addison being McDreamy's wife? Great nickname, by the way." He made the okay symbol with his right hand.
The intern shot him a look as she paced.
"Relax, I'm not gonna tell Mrs. McDreamy that her hubby's stepping out."
Meredith froze again. "You're not?"
House shook his head. "Nah. Neonatal's too far."
Meredith met his gaze and held it. "Thank you. But this is still very bad. If the nurses know, the interns will start hearing about it and they'll tell other interns and soon the whole hospital will know!"
"Know what?" Derek asked from the door.
Meredith looked stricken as she excused herself and hurried down the hall.
"Torturing my intern, Dr. House?"
"Yep. They hide them from me back home."
"I wonder why."
House leaned back in his chair, tipping it onto two legs. "It's funny. I would've pegged you for a red-head fan, seeing as you're married to one."
Shepherd didn't glance up, but his knuckles turned white as his grip on the patient's chart tightened reflexively.
"But it seems to me, it's the blondes that get you all hot and bothered."
Derek closed his eyes for a moment and breathed deeply.
"So what is it about the intern that gets your little soldiers marching? Cause I've seen your wife and she is hot."
Derek ignored the other man with great effort, putting everything he had into getting out of the room without punching House.
"I suppose it could be you like the thrill of screwing the intern while your wife waits at home." House stroked his stubble thoughtfully as he mused aloud, taking in Shepherd's fight to not kill him with undisguised amusement.
"I am not, as you so elegantly put it, 'screwing the intern,'" Derek answered tersely. "Not since my wife and I got back together."
"That's not what she says," House told him in a song-song voice.
Derek's head whipped up. He definitely would not put it past this man to tell his wife about his prom night escapades just for kicks. His blood grew hot and his heart pounded. What on earth was Meredith thinking, telling that kind of thing to a mad man?
---x---
"That was mean," Cameron whispered after Shepherd left.
"But oh so fun."
She stared for a moment and then pointed to the clock. "It's nine o'clock."
House's eyes lit up and he changed the channel. The O.C.'s theme song filled the room.
Several minutes into the show, Cameron was still watching him.
"Spit it out, woman!" he exclaimed, banging his cane on the floor for emphasis.
"Why are you here?"
"To cure you. Duh."
She shook her head. "No, why are you here, in this room?"
"If I get bored, I can steal your morphine."
Cameron smiled and shook her head. She knew why he was there, even if he could admit it. "You care about me," she declared boldly. Doctor O'Malley had passed on some wisdom from another patient. If you were dying, people let you be as bold as you want. Unless they were House.
"Cuddy threatened extra clinic hours if I didn't save your life. You're welcome, by the way."
"I'm still sick!" she pointed out. "I have no reason to thank you yet."
"You mean my charming company isn't reason enough?"
She pretended to think. "I think living is more important, but that's just me."
"Tell that to Osama's buddies."
She stared incredulously. "Are you comparing me to –?"
"Shhh!" House interrupted, putting his finger to his lips. He pointed at the screen. "It's on."
---x---
Dr. Shepherd stormed out of Cameron's room. He saw Meredith down the hall, standing alone with a worried expression. He walked down the hall, picking up pace, and grabbed her arm. "We need to talk."
"Ow, you're hurting me!" she protested as he led her into an empty exam room.
"You told Dr. House about us? About the prom?"
Meredith wrenched her arm away. "He already knew. The nurses must have seen us because they all know and they told him. He's not going to tell her, if that's what you're worried about," she added nastily.
Derek ran his fingers through his hair nervously.
"He's going to tell her. I know he is, no matter what he promised you. I can't believe this. It's all your fault."
"My fault?" she asked incredulously. "How is this my fault? I didn't tell him. And I didn't force you to have sex with me. You followed me to that exam room, remember? I tried to stop it, remember? Or is your selective memory kicking in again?"
"Shut up, Meredith. Just shut up."
Meredith was livid. "You can't tell me to shut up!" She turned and stormed out, leaving an angry and depressed Derek in her wake.
---x---
Meredith downed a shot of tequila. "I shouldn't be allowed to make my own decisions, Joe. I should put someone in charge of making them for me, because I suck at it."
"No arguing with that," a familiar voice said from behind.
"Shut up, Alex," Meredith ordered, not even turning around.
Alex slid into the seat beside her. "What, you hook up with Shepherd again?"
"Yes," she admitted, swirling the last drops of alcohol in her shot glass. "During the prom."
Alex shrugged. "So what?"
"The nurses know. House knows."
"What's the worst that can happen? Addison finds out and divorces Shepherd. Then he'll coming running back to you."
"I don't want to be his second choice. He blew it when he picked her."
"Then why are you still in love with him?"
Meredith shook her head. "I don't know." She turned her head and finally looked at him. "Let's just shut up and drink."
---x---
Meredith blinked to clear her sleep-blurred eyes and turned her head to confirm what she already knew. She groaned and hauled herself to her feet. Grabbing her shirt and pants, she quickly dressed, as if that would help put last night from her mind. Although, oddly enough, she didn't especially want to forget the previous night. No, Meredith, you have to forget it happened, she admonished inwardly. No matter how great it was.
"I'm leaving," she called over her shoulder.
Alex lifted his hand and mumbled something incoherent into the pillow.
Once outside, Meredith banged her head against her palm repeatedly. "I have absolutely no self control."
---x---
Bailey listened to her interns from the other side of the locker room door. They had been off for days and she was determined to find out why.
"The nurses are getting on my nerves. They're threatening to cut off House's Vicodin supply."
"You sure it's not revenge for giving them all syphilis?"
"Shut up!" two male voices – Alex and George – answered.
The girls laughed.
"So, Iz, you and Chase go all the way yet?"
"Not yet…Shut up, Devil Spawn!"
"Yeah, Alex, shut up."
"What crawled up your ass and died?"
"She had a fight with McDreamy."
"Cristina!"
"What? They would've found out within five minutes of leaving the locker room."
"It's all House's fault, anyway."
Bailey had heard more than enough. She pushed the door open and yelled, "Suck ups! Get your sorry little butts over here. Assignments are the same as yesterday. If I catch any of you slacking off, you're in the pit for a month. Got it?"
They nodded.
"Good. Now I'm going to have a little talk with Dr. House."
The interns exchanged anxious glances and waited a few minutes before following Bailey. Work could wait, the battle of the century was about to begin.
---x---
"Dr. House!"
House instinctively sped up.
"Don't think you can run from me."
"I'm not running, I'm limping," House said, even as he slowed to a reluctant stop. "Can I not help you with something?"
"You can start by explaining why you're messing with my interns."
"It's fun?"
"That ain't good enough. Listen to me, you drug addicted fool. If I catch you ordering another one of my interns to refill your pills, I'll cut you off completely."
House nibbled on his nails in mock-anxiety. "I have a prescription."
"So? I sure as hell don't care. And they're more scared of me than they are of you."
"Wanna bet?"
"No, I do not want to bet. Now I want you to turn around and limp off to find your doctors so you can diagnose the patient and leave."
"And I want a pony. You can't always get what you want."
"With that leg? You couldn't ride a pony if you tried."
"Oh, ouch, burn," House said, pretending to be hurt. "I'll have to cry myself to sleep now."
"Go do your job, Dr. House," Bailey ordered in a dangerous voice, leaning in close.
House shrugged and sat down on a nearby bench, taking out his GameBoy.
"What are you doing?" Bailey placed her balled fists on her hips.
"Working."
"You are a doctor. Working does not involve video games."
House smacked his forehead. "So that's why Cuddy always gets mad. Thanks for clearing that up." He got up and hobbled down the hall and pressed the elevator button.
"Your patient is on this floor."
"I know," House called as he stepped into the elevator.
"Then where are you going?"
He shot her his famous 'duh' look. "It's break time."